Chapter 2:

Home. Missing.

The stars lit up the darkened, cloudy sky.

Still, Callie remained behind the wheel, gripping it tightly.

It hadn't been as hard as she'd thought it would be to slip away. After all, the Quinns' had such a large social circle that Callie was literally only one of maybe 60 people they had over on Thanksgiving. And to be completely transparent, Callie had told the three of them in the morning that she'd be spending the evening at the Adams Fosters.

Sophia nodded warmly and her stepmother Jill smiled tightly, but there was an obvious understanding in her eyes. But, Robert? Callie could see the disappointment in his eyes. But, she was determined to stand her ground.

Callie couldn't pretend that she didn't have a low, steady anger at the choice Robert had made to seek her adoption being reversed. If she was being completely fair, she honestly understood it. But, she just couldn't let go of the thought that he'd ripped her away from her home. The home she'd had for almost 2 years. Most importantly, the home she'd wanted.

Whatever her father's objections, he didn't voice them. Callie was grateful for this. She didn't feel like arguing with him about it, but she knew that she would have.

Now, Callie stared at the front of the Adams Foster house and felt herself getting a little teary. It was weird. She had been told that she was welcome here "Any time". Lena had said it so sincerely. Stef had said it too, but Callie hadn't been able to thoroughly feel her sentiment. And then there was Jude, of course. Callie tried to visit him whenever she could, but honestly, being that he was a little over 16 with a full social life, volunteer obligations to beef up his college applications and a boyfriend, more and more Callie found herself trying to be fit into his schedule.

Slowly, the tears began to build and Callie thought about the memories here. Coming and going. Laughing and singing. Family Game Night; Mariana's idiotic two girl slumber parties; Jesus's random all night one-man ragers; Brandon's piano playing filling up the house and spilling out into the streets. Spilling into her dreams.

Callie missed them. Her family. Everyone and everything that it entailed. They were messy and angry and happy and sad and complicated and dramatic and devastating. But they were hers. Hers. And she missed every single one of them bitterly.

Callie leaned her head against the steering wheel. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and her makeup was minimal. But she could feel a minimal mascara-damaging cryfest coming on. How could she face them, she wondered? There was that aching clawing inside of her chest again. And the thought of Stef's eyes on her. The thought of Jude's even. And Mariana's.

Suddenly, Callie felt panic creeping up her neck and she closed her eyes at the familiar feeling of an attack coming on. She hadn't had one in months, but at one point they were constant and consuming. Callie breathed deeply until the feeling passed. Calm down, she told herself shaking off the emotions.

Callie glanced in her rearview mirror and the tears were misted over her eyes, her face was a mask of near-terror and the thought hit her: How could she possibly face everyone? And in this moment, Callie realized: she couldn't.

And she wouldn't.

Placing her left hand on the steering wheel and her right on the key, Callie was just about to turn the car on and disappear off into the night, when the soft rapping against the window startled and interrupted her.

Callie whipped her head toward the sound and found Brandon staring down at her curiously. Shaking herself out of her stupor, she lowered the window a little and smiled up at him awkwardly.

"Hi." Callie said guiltily, her hand dropping from the key.

"Hi," Brandon said with a curious half smile as he motioned for her to open the car door.

Callie unlocked the door and Brandon pulled it open, with a worried look. "This is usually the part where you get out of the car and you know, come into the house…?" as he finished the sentence he motioned toward the house comedically.

Callie sighed and glanced at Brandon, shaking her head. "I was just about to-" she said softly, but the rest of the statement remained stuck in the back of her throat. She swallowed back the tears and remembered that this was Brandon's birthday gift. So, no, she couldn't leave. Callie steadied herself and stepped out of the car.

Callie acted as though she hadn't seen Brandon's hand reaching out for her and instead she walked purposefully ahead of him, towards the door. "Callie?" Brandon called gently and Callie stopped in her tracks. He was behind her. Not too far away but not uncomfortably close and she knew what he wanted from her but she couldn't do it. Callie could not turn around to face him or she knew that she would break. The most that she could do at this moment was to stop and stand. Listen to what he needed to say.

"Callie," Brandon started again and she could sense that he was inching closer. Callie locked her arms around herself protectively. She didn't want to be touched right now. Most of all, she didn't need him touching her. She knew he would know this by her gesture and sure enough, his stride forward was silenced.

"If this is…I mean… I didn't know it would bother you…not like this. If it's too much for you to be here…now, I mean. Y-you don't have to come in. Go be with the Quinns'. I wanted you here because I wanted to see you and for you to be with us. For you to know that this is still your family. But, if I had known that it would make you feel…however it is that you're feeling right now? I wouldn't have…"

Brandon's words trailed off and Callie could feel the tears welling again. She didn't want to be this way. She felt like a whirlwind of…everything at the moment, but she knew that this wouldn't change anytime soon. But, it wasn't Brandon's fault. She didn't want him thinking that it was.

Steadying herself, Callie turned towards Brandon. He wasn't looking at the ground this time. Instead, his eyes lasered in on her and Callie caught her breath. The moonlight shining around his face and hair, bouncing off of his eyes. He was so beautiful.

Swallowing back her gasp, Callie said in a small voice "I'm okay…it's just. I miss…well, everyone. A lot." Brandon gave a small, sad smile and his infamous glance at the ground stabbed Callie's heart. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell him. She knew that the memory of why she was no longer here, a part of the family, would cause Brandon to think of his "part" in it. Callie didn't want that for him. She knew more than anyone how it felt to be shamed for doing something that was motivated by nothing but love.

As usual, Callie was able to push away her own emotions to save Brandon from having to experience any and she mustered a smile, reaching out and gripping his hand. Brandon seemed startled at her touch and looked up at her in surprise and she said again—this time her face purposefully lighter. "I'm alright. I really am. I wasn't sad…Not really. I'm actually happy. I mean, I do miss everyone. But, I also can't wait to see them." Callie finished by giving Brandon's hand a little squeeze and adding a smile for his benefit.

Brandon's cautious half-smile told Callie that he didn't fully believe her. But, he seemed willing to go along with her shakily explained pretense if it meant that she would come inside.

Callie released Brandon's hand and nodded at him shortly, turning back towards the door and making her way up the steps.

Brandon knew her. Knew her so well. Still. Callie hated it. She wondered if she would ever develop the ability to really lie to him. She'd always hoped for it, but the closest she'd ever come was a thinly masked hostility or a full-throttled indifference. Both of which she hated, but had mastered to an extent that they were her go-tos. Now, however, maybe there was no need. She and Brandon weren't siblings anymore, foster or otherwise. Hell, they weren't even friends. The thought pained her more than ever to admit, but it was the truth.

Callie hadn't even realized that she was hesitating in front of the door until Brandon reached around her right arm and opened it.

And just like that, Callie was back.

Back Home.