Married life is fucking AMAZING! One of my favorite things about marriage? Everything is elevated in a good way, and it's fucking amazing! One of my favorite things about marriage? The sex! It can be mad hot, playful, careful, rough, mind-blowing, slow, fast, you name it. Sex can be extremely fun when we get into the sexy, role-play, story time sessions.
I won't get into our sex life, but I can tell you some of my favorite things to do when we have our…story time sessions. One time, we reenacted a scene from American Beauty, where the blonde chick was in the bathtub and her father's friend was just putting his hand in the tub. That was fun because I have never been in a bathtub filled with water and rose petals in my life! I just loved how Jackson stared at me as if I were the earth, while I stared at him as if he were the moon.
Another time, he played a plumber when our plumbing needed to be "fixed." Man, he sure does know his way around a snake. I can literally go on and on about our story time sessions, but I won't. I would rather tell you about my favorite session, and how I felt about it. Let me tell you a bit about it.
I began talking to a local man I had met at the beach and officially met at a coffee shop... this man was so different from any of the other men I had met or talked in my life.
Before this I was always a very shy devoted girlfriend and had that nagging constant feeling that I was missing something.
I was starting to feel this new man was the very something I was missing. He intrigued me, he excited me... and honestly he scared the living shit out of me for a while
He is dominant and very smart caring kind but firm qualities that I had always looked for and admired in a man but felt I was unworthy of and would never find.
Jackson. The one who scared me at times, but pulls me in the one who seems to know me better than I know myself.
I was so afraid of his rejection. Shit, he was probably scared of my rejection as well since he was actually the one to ask me out. Hell, I was so afraid of him that I couldn't bring myself to meet him for more than 5 minutes... I was amazed at how well this guy could control me from the phone, internet and in person. I wanted to be controlled. I wanted to be needed, desired, I wanted to be a owned and vice-versa. Not many people get that... they feel a woman should be independent of a man not rely on anyone and definitely not have someone telling them what to do. I get that. But it's not me, I want to serve I want to please I want to be told what to do knowing it brings pleasure to someone that I care about.
I want and need a strong man who can bend me over and spank my ass when i need it and put me in my place when I act up. I need someone who is concerned with where I am and who I am with and craves me and desires me and wants me to be the one who fulfills his sexual and other needs. That makes me happy... But how do I know it makes me happy when I reality I have never had it ...UNTIL THIS MAN, and now I LOVE IT!
The very first time I met him, I was so fucking nervous! I really could talk very much, but that didn't matter at all. We were up for talking. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it to. We kissed and he reached down my pants. I ended up at his...
Pause.
Let's evaluate this.
Why does this feel like I am telling you about my life story?
You know the fuck what?
Fill in the blanks yourself, if you want to.
I'll let your imagination run a muck.
All I have to tell you is that I love the feeling of hot candle wax dripping down the small of my back. I truly do.
Chains and whips excite me.
What I love most about our relationship?
Hmmm…..The fantasies that we have.
For example, Jackson's fantasy consists of….roughly nine or ten things.
Fantasy Without Judgment Non-Threatening Sex Toys Sex That's Not Tied to Orgasm Backdoor Fun Voyeurism Getting Turned On By Me Watching Porn Together Chatting After Sex Third-Party Advice Sex in an Unusual Place
Let's break these down a bit.
Fantasy Without Judgment – Jackson once told me that he wants to engage in a cheerleader/coach fantasy. He didn't bring it up sooner because he thought that I would be weird about it and judge him. To tell you the truth, I was wary about it, but when he told me that the fantasy was about the two of us, I shaped up pretty quickly.
Non-Threatening Sex Toys – Honestly, my sex toys made him wonder "What…?" Poor fellow didn't know what was what. The fact that he felt inadequate by the sizes was truly ridiculous. But what I have learned in our situation is sex toys enhance our time together. We even went to sex stores together and talked about the toys that interest us the most. You'd be surprised at what turns us on. We are total freaks.
Sex That's Not Tied to Orgasm – This one was interesting for me! Ever seen movies where people have made love without having sex? I have and it is amazing because it shows complete intimacy. If you need an example, check out Sam and Molly from Ghost when they were making that vase.
Backdoor Fun – Nope. I will not be talking about that with you. You'll never know that extent of our relationship, even if I want to talk about it with you all.
Voyeurism – I must admit, I couldn't wait for this one myself. It's….I need a cold shower just thinking about him looking at me pleasuring myself and vice-versa. It's good to see what turns him on and it's fun letting Jackman know what turns me on. I really need that shower!
Getting Turned On By Me – Well, I'm a strong, bad-ass chick with classic confidence. Need I say more?
Watching Porn Together – So, Jackman watches porn every once in a while. The fantasy? We watch it together and he lets me pick the genre. I have to say, it is a great learning tool for our own sex life, and it's even fascinating because we find out what turns us on.
I really need that shower!
Chatting After Sex – "I noticed you stopped breathing when I stroked your knee. How was it making you feel?" It is wonderful that he talks to me after sex. He is so caring…..you just don't/ can't understand since everyone's sex life is so different.
Third-Party Advice – I never pegged Jackson as a man that would go out and talk to someone outside of our relationship. To tell you the truth, I actually like it because he is taking care of his mental health without me being there.
Sex in an unusual location – See, Jackson loves having sex in public with me in an unusual location, I love when he fucks my brains out. Even if he's fantasizing about the same old sex acts that we always fall back on, out-of-the-ordinary settings like a hotel room, a sex club, or the kitchen counter can heat up my imaginings in a heartbeat.
Now, when it comes to my fantasies, I am not entirely sure how Jackson can hang. I like: handcuffs, chains, whips, hot wax, spanking, dirty talk, you name it. Here are a few of my favorite ones that are apparently the norm for some of us women.
Dominating someone - While not as socially-sanctioned for women as submissiveness, fantasies of being in control in the bedroom are super fun and quite common, with 47 percent of women admitting to having had this fantasy. It can be incredibly hot to call the shots during sex, especially in a culture which systematically tries to strip women of our power both in and out of the bedroom.
Bondage - From impromptu tools, like neckties à la Christian Grey, to more intense bondage scenarios involving rope, cuffs, or under-the-bed restraints, the thought of being restrained (or restraining someone else) is incredibly hot to many folks. Being unable to move makes you helpless to a partner's advances, whether those involve pleasure, pain, or a little of both! (Do your research on this one before acting it out, though. There are a lot of ways bondage can go wrong, in an actually-dangerous and not just kinky-dangerous manner.)
Roleplay- If you struggle to let your inner sex kitten loose, sometimes imagining yourself in a specific role can help. Does a nurse-and-patient fantasy get your gears turning? How about boss and secretary? Parent and babysitter?
Cosplay - Costumes can help you get in the right head-space for some serious debauchery. They can also make you feel like a total vixen. Whether you go supernatural (Catwoman? Wonder Woman?) or slightly more down-to-earth (Dana Scully? Lara Croft?), you might feel foxier in a borrowed persona.
Romantic sex - This can mean different things to different people. Maybe your idea of romance is rose petals, champagne, and staring into each other's eyes, or maybe it's a partner knowing exactly how to slap you around and exactly what mean names to call you in bed. Whatever the manifestation, it's lovely to imagine having a deep emotional connection with the person you're banging.
Sensual massage - "Happy-ending" massages are a popular search term on porn sites, especially for women. It may be that the relaxation and slow, calming movements prep your body and mind for heights of arousal; sex researcher Emily Nagoski notes in her book Come As You Are that stress can physiologically inhibit pleasure and orgasm in women, after all. Once you're all oily and melty and floaty, the stage is set for sinfully intense ecstasy.
Sensory deprivation - Blindfolds are one easy way to explore this avenue. Wearing one keeps you blissfully unaware of what your partner is about to do to you—and putting one on someone else helps you maintain your control and mystique over them. Adding noise-canceling headphones can also be fun if you really want to keep someone on their toes.
Sex in public - The thrill of sex in a public or semi-public place has long been a popular fantasy: dark alleys, public bathrooms, and movie theaters are common choices. The thrill of getting caught is one commonly-cited reason, as is a general interest in exhibitionism. This can be a risky endeavor for your criminal record and for the well-being of passersby, so it's probably one that's better left a fantasy.
All in all, I think that we have two things in common. The first is that Jackman and I love to be dominated by one another, particularly me. Thank Fifty Shades of Grey for that because they normalized this fantasy more widely than ever before; one study found 65 percent of women crave being dominated. There's a wide palette of fantasy scenarios to draw from here. You can picture something as subtle as a trusted partner holding you down by the wrists while they kiss you, all the way up to extreme BDSM involving pain, humiliation, or whatever else your kinky little heart desires.
When you walked into the room you knew just what to do
Ya coulda gone from door to door but you knew just where to go to
Come into my velvet room and tell me your fantasies
(tell me your fantasies)
The passion in your voice I wanna hear as you start to tell me
While you take the blindfold and tie it gently on me
Don't wanna see but feel the things you're gonna do to me
(wanna feel it)
Tie me up, tie me down
(make me moan real loud)
Make me moan real loud
(take off my clothes)
Take off my clothes
No one has to know
Whisperin' I wanna feel a soft rope burn
(no one has to know)
Wanna feel a
Rope burn
"Rope", huh?
Now there's a word I haven't used for the longest time.
Oh, married life. I love it so much.
What I would really like right now, though?
A shower because I feel dirty as hell.
Actions