Hold me
Kiss me
Show me
You wanna be with me
Feel me
Taste me
And maybe I'll let you have me
Before Jackson and I got together, I never came into this relationship to date, let alone get married at all. Even though it took time to get comfortable with him, I found that building a friendship with him was very easy.
Connect through food – We spent time and cooked food together. The scampi was so good that we deemed it our dish. Sure, we have cooked many meals together, but the Shrimp Scampi is the meal that we have once a week, and I am good with that.
Find hobbies to do together – We would watch superhero movies. He fan girls over the original Spider-Man movies. It's adorable if you ask me. Anyway, some of our hobbies consists of going to the movies or going to an art class. Sometimes we even just take a stroll around the block because we can. Going to the park at night, just to go on the swings at midnight, is amazing since the moonlight kisses out skin. Sure, there are better hobbies that I can tell you about, but these are some of my all time favorite ones.
Try to be vulnerable and share fears – I found it great that we talk about things. I mean actually talking about things.
"I fear not living the life that I want to live." Jackson told me one day when we were still dating.
"I want to have quiet nights with you. I want kids. I want to be comfortable with my future family, even it it's in a crappy house. Having a good time chasing butterflies and little puppies. Sitting on the porch in my old age, watching the world go by.
"I want to be everything my father wasn't. Don't get me wrong, he still talks to me and we hang out together, but he doesn't really pay attention to me. I'm like a constant reminder to him of how I'm not him in terms of smart, handsome, caring, and it's just too much.
"I just want to be everything that he wasn't whenever you and I have kids. I want to support them, be proud of them, love them the way that he hasn't loved me."
"Then I hope to be the one by your side through thick and thin."
"Thanks, Apes."
Be affectionate – I truly appreciate his affections because he simply does it without me expecting it, plus he always asks if he can be affectionate with me, and if feels good. The back rubs and massages when I am tired are so good. I swear you guys, he has his own Midas touch because I always crave more and more of his touch. I love when he hugs me because I feel safe and warm in his arms. I can kiss him on his lips and all over his face, and he doesn't care at all because he returns them, even when we have bad breath. Goodness, we are such a typical couple.
I was used to fucking and being fucked. Used to pushing and pulling men into my bed, ordering them around so that I could get pleasure from their body. I used to be forced against the wall, or held down on the bed while the other man, plus that woman-beater Matthew- tookwhat pleasure they wanted from my body, likely going home to brag to their friends and family how they left me, April Kepner, covered in their remnants.
What the fuck was I thinking?
But ever since I met Jackson, this wasn't like any of those experiences.
How can I describe him as a person, other than having all those kinks that I enjoy?
Tall and mocha colored.
6'2.
Green eyes.
I think the best way to describe him would be to describe him in his own words.
"In my family, I'm the pretty one. My eyes and my smile, my body. I mean, you should see me without a shirt on. It's kinda ridiculous. But my family is smart, driven, and crazy over-achievers. And they look like they're smart. They don't look like me, which has its perks. Except that my family treated me like I was pretty. They expected nothing from me, ever. Never pushed me, never thought to. So I had to push myself. Hard."
God, hearing those words come out of his mouth showed me that he lives by his own standards. He is on his own in terms of making his own decisions that come from his own mind. He's in control of his own. He gets what he wants on his own terms without people singing in his ears. Anyway, let's move on to what I want to get out.
One night after a lovely dinner, Jackson took us home and he gave me a good night kiss. Did I forget to mention that after our first meeting seven years ago, we got married like nearly four years ago? Boy, after being married for so long, he make me crazy. After the good night kiss, he pulled away. I don't know what made this night so different though. We had gone out on plenty of date nights before, had sex with one another well over….I don't even know how many times, kissed a shit ton of times, but his kisses were just so...addictive. After I kissed him back hungrily, he spun me around and started kissing my neck.
It took me forever to open that fucking door.
The kisses hadn't stopped once we entered the bedroom, and if anything, they had increased once we got to our bed.
Jackson kept kissing every inch of skin he could reach. He unzipped the back of my black in order to gain more and more of my skin, as I was just laying on my back, letting out gasps of encouragement at his actions.
"Hey." He muttered, having kissed his way back up to my mouth.
"Hey." I replied, knowing how to respond to Jackson's lust filled eyes.
"April?" He asks as he turned me on my back.
"Yeah?"
"You okay with this right?" He asked gently.
I gave him an easy nod in response.
"Good, you know you can tell me to stop whenever you want?" He asks me as his hands were gently running up and down my exposed chest in a comforting gesture.
Shit. I felt that I nearly broke right then and there because this was nothing like I had previously had before.
When you do convince me
Can't turn back
I'll be your best
You know that good things don't come easy
Like I said, we fucked before, but this time...whew! I might need to open a window!
Sure, Jackson always knew that if I didn't want to have sex, then he would immediately stop it, his position was enough threat to get anyone to stop what they were doing. But it being said loud and clear like that, Jackson ensuring he knew just made him want to give me so much more.
Honestly, I think I've hit the jackpot.
He didn't move anything apart from his hands I gave him another nod in reply.
Respect.
Learn that ladies.
You too men.
And if you still can't follow the concept of respect, I suggest that you listen to Aretha Franklin's Respect, which was writen by Otis Redding.
Once Jackson was satisfied with that response as he went back to kissing me, gently along my jaw. One of his hands moved to support himself above my head, while I moved to gently cup him through his pants, earning a groan.
Well, that convinced me. The sex this time was going to be sensual.
Sweet.
Not, devastating, life-changing, complicated or painful at all.
It was...let's just say that it was a touch so sweet that I would love to have forever.
"Tease. You are such a tease." He grumbled lightly and I laughed, sitting up to pull his t-shirt off.
Those abs of his…it is eye candy if you ask me.
Jackson moved back down to kiss along my neck as he unhooked the clasp on my bra. Once they were off, he made his way down my chest as he mouthed the center of my underwear before taking them off too.
"FUCK!" I moaned as gave my wet center an experimental lick. Jesus, he went to town on me and I was craving more. Naturally, I buried my hands in his hair while he continued to eat me out. I had never received anything like this - normally it was by command or guidance that a person went down on me. Never had someone started it, (ok, just Jackson, but I digress) and my stomach tightened at the thought that Jackson was doing this, giving me pleasure in a different kind of way.
"You okay?" He asked after my first orgasm.
"Please tell me you had practiced that on someone before because Jesus Jackman, if that's just natural talent-"
"Only you, babe." Jackson replied with a laugh at the groan I let out.
'Fuck that is just unfair.' I thought to myself.
Apparently, I must have said my thought out loud because the next thing I knew, our room was filled with his laughter as he moved to kiss me again before pulling away to get the bottle of lube and a condom.
"Top drawer. The condoms are still in there too if you want them, but-"
"But?" He asks.
"Let's try for a baby."
He smiles.
"Are you sure, babe?" He asks with his smile growing wider.
"Don't make me beg." I whined.
Jackson shifted back to kiss me deeply for the first time in the night. It wasn't very different from all the other deep kisses we shared. There was no fight for dominance, as I allowed him to take control when he tried for it, and easily gave it back when Jackson allowed me too. It was comfortable and easy and like nothing I had ever had before.
Jackson shifted back to kiss me deeply for the first time in the night. It wasn't very different from all the other deep kisses we shared. There was no fight for dominance, as I allowed him to take control when he tried for it, and easily gave it back when Jackson allowed me too. It was comfortable and easy and like nothing I had ever had before.
I flipped us over, and proceeded to take off all of his clothes.
"April." He moaned as I gave an experimental lick to his length before engulfing it in my mouth, his hand flying down to grasp the my red-velvet colored hair as his eyes screwed shut. He had never received a blow job like this at all. My husband is a lucky bastard. Unfortunately, I had to use my hand to help me stroke him as I was sucking the living daylights out of him.
Soon, I moved to kiss him on the lips. As we were kissing, he flipped me over and proceeded to cover his fingers with lube. See, I would have told him hurry it up if it wasn't for the gentle prodding of a lube-covered finger at my entrance. I love how he just preps me, but this time….I felt as though I was one with Jackson.
Soon the finger was joined by another equally lube-soaked finger as Jackson discovered and started to tease my g-spot, causing me to let out light moans.
Ok, they weren't light, but so what? We are in the confines of our own house. There are now thin walls, nosey neighbors or kids around, so we're good.
Jackson moved so he could watch my face as he started to spread the two fingers, slowly preparing me for what was to come.
Honestly, I could die from his touch and we haven't even done the true physical act of sex yet.
I gasped when the third finger breached me, following it with a content moan to signal Jackson that it was a "pleasure-gasp" not a "one from pain" or "surprise" and there was no reason to stop and please don't stop because I feel that it would kill me.
"Jackson, hurry... please... I don't think I can last much longer!" I begged.
Now, I have to tell you something that you probably won't believe. That was the first time that I begged for sex. No one, and I mean no one ever made me, April Kepner, beg in bed no matter how hard they tried, yet Jackson didn't even need to pry it from me at all. It all just came so…..naturally. His actions earned him another kiss as Jackson removed his fingers and worked on covering his length in lube.
Once Jackson was done, he adjusted our bodies so that my legs were around his hips and Jackman's arms were above my head, supporting him so our noses just touched.
"You ready?" He asked me.
I honestly wanted to kill him for asking because wasn't it obvious? But at the same time, I understood why he asked. Given my history with other guys, it used to be hard to give someone complete and total control over me in bed. Right now though, they are all irrelevant because it's just Jackson and I. In this moment, we are infinite.
"Yes!" I sobbed out and Jackson smiled softly before slowly starting to thrust in.
Hold me
So are you ready
Kiss me
To journey
Show me
Within me
Feel me
I'll satisfy you
Taste me
I will do anything
Have me
You ask me to
Ask me
Anything
With me
Anything
My arms moved around to cling to Jackson's back because for some reason it just felt right to be joined with Jackson. His face must have reacted some negative way because Jackson stopped when only halfway in, concern covering his features.
"You okay?" He asked and I only nodded, only just noticing the tear leaking from my eyes.
"You sure?" Jackson sounded so worried and it just made me love him so much more, which was a revelation by itself because his hesitation only made my feelings towards Jackson multiply even more in the last couple of minutes.
It's crazy to think that these are simply tears of joy.
Man, I was definitely missing out on true love, and that sucks on ALL levels if you ask me.
Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?
Only the Good Lord knows, but everything happens for a reason.
I believe in that concept and I'm happy to be here in this moment with my husband.
"I'm fine... just... ugh... keep going." I tell him. Now, there was no way that I was going to tell Jackson that I was crying because no one, and I do mean no one, has treated me like this. Ever. There was no way I was going to tell Jackson that this was the first time in my life that I actually felt truly loved and not just because someone felt he felt like he had to, but because he wanted to. He knew if I told Jackson about being uncomfortable, then he would stop and just want to hold me or something like that and right now I didn't need that. I just needed Jackson. I just needed to feel like we were one, even if only for a short amount of time.
Luckily Jackson didn't press the issue any further, continuing his slow entry until he was fully in; pausing to give me a minute just to breath.
Time to adjust.
"You can keep going," I said after it was clear that Jackson wasn't going to continue without some confirmation from me that I was okay with it.
Jackson pulled out slowly before thrusting back in again, soon establishing a steady, calm pace that just made me let out sobs, pulling Jackson down so that I could bury my head in Jackson's neck. This wasn't anything that could be called fucking; this was the kind of sex that romance magazines and books talked about. The kind of sex that men's girlfriends dream about that they couldn't give because neither he nor they really knew how to give it.
But I can do that to my husband, so suck it people.
Suck it!
I knew that I must look pathetic at the moment, tears streaking down my face as my blunt nails dug deep in Jackson's back in a death grip that not even Jackson's enhanced strength could break. Jackson must have noticed, giving gentle kissing to my tear stained cheeks as he thrusted into me slowly.
I gasped and shook as I neared orgasm, body thrumming with need for release as my mind literally begged me not to let this perfect moment end. Eventually, my pleasure peaked though as I just lost it.
The rhythm of his thrusts changed, they somehow became more gentle, careful, as if he would somehow hurt my post-orgasmic body from continuing to fuck it. I just enjoyed the sensation of Jackson in and my body becoming one, made oversensitive from orgasm; enjoyed his heightened sense of knowing just how close Jackson and I were.
Eventually Jackson too reached orgasm.
After basking in our afterglow, I let myself be gathered up into Jackson's arms and dimly realized that this was the person that I am definitely going to spend the rest of my life with, and I can't wait for the best part of our lives to come our way.
And even without having a conversation on what it had all meant on their relationship, I just knew for the first time in my life what it was like to love and be loved in return.
The night was so….good.
See, it wasn't the actual act that I am actually conveying to you. It's the intimacy. I mean, sure, the sex was amazing, however, the intimacy was fun because I actually trust him. I didn't have to try so hard to be someone else with him. We can talk about anything was want, hurt each others feelings in the process, and still be April and Jackson. The intimacy that we've had through the course of our relationship is...indescribable, and I am happy for that.
I don't have to be submissive, but I would do anything for Jackson just as he's told me that he would do anything for me. I seriously found a good one.
Maybe he found me...?
I don't fucking know, but I am thankful for him, every damn day of my life.
Hmm...
Jackson and April.
You know what?
I think I'll go for Japril because I can.
Yeah. That works.
I can't seem to decide which works, but Japril seems to fit.
It's so us.