Chapter 7:

Different. Same.

Everything was louder.

It was as though Callie was suddenly awash in color, sounds, smells, sights.

The buildings towered above her and large colorful billboards flashed 50 foot ads on every corner. People rushed around Callie absently brushing past her so that she knew she was here in this dizzying moment, but they didn't seem to notice.

More than anything, the cold was a bit of a shock to Callie's system. Living in California her whole life, she was used to the coldest days being no more than breezy days with colds that were tempered somewhat by the sun shining down. The chill here was biting to the extent that Callie was glad she'd remembered to pack the one really warm jacket she owned.

Callie stepped out of the cab with her small backpack slung over her shoulders. She didn't really have a plan she realized. She'd spoken with the admin office and was told that the campus tours were available all day. Every hour on the hour until 4. And, though she had yet to open the envelope, Callie still wanted to know it. The school. She needed to see for herself if she would belong there.

Callie had never been to New York before, and she was honestly amazed by how much it was just as she had imagined it, as it was always shown on television and movie screens. It was beautiful. And hideous. Enthralling. And frightening. Callie debated whether or not coming here without telling anyone was the best idea, but it was too late for that now of course.

Luckily, she had the only two addresses she needed for the moment. She glanced at her phone and noted that it was nearly 2. She would get to the motel first, wash up and then go for her tour.

Then him.

Hours Later

Callie pulled the large glass doors and was almost out of breath beneath their weight. The giant lobby seemed to extend forever and she was a little worried that she would get lost in it before she ever found him. People bustled around the room and everyone Callie could see looked as though they were dressed for an important occasion of some sort. Suits, gowns, evening clothes, ties, heels. Callie glanced down at her jeans and sneakers. Her baggy grey sweatshirt and her wavy brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. She felt so out of place.

Callie stumbled her way to the front of the hotel desk and waited for the concierge to put down the phone and acknowledge her. The man, tall, tanned and with a look of superiority, glanced at her and with a quick assessment of her clothing he said "Yes…?" in a tone that let Callie know he was really asking two questions at once. "How can I help you…?" and "Honestly, what could you be doing here?"

Callie gulped back her trepidation and spoke up "I'm looking for Brandon…Brandon Foster?"

The concierge raised an eyebrow at her saying "We cannot discuss hotel guests."

Callie raised her own eyebrows in surprise, "No, he's not a…I mean he's not a guest…" she paused "I mean…I don't think…"

The concierge didn't even attempt to hide his deeply annoyed sigh. "He's a piano player here. He plays classical piano?" Callie added.

"Ah." The haughty man said now and his face changed as though Callie's words explained everything about her presence. He motioned toward a large room across from the counter.

"He will be there." The concierge said and Callie glanced over in the direction he pointed.

"Thanks." She said and let her legs carry her towards the room as anxiety fell in waves around her body.

Callie heard him before she saw him. But…something was off. The music floated out, above and around her but it didn't feel…she couldn't explain it, but Brandon's playing always made her feel…comfortable. Like she was home. Instead, the notes trilled out melodically, beautifully even, but there was no heart. No soul.

Callie pushed her way through the crowded…Restaurant…? Ballroom…? Jazz Club?

Where am I? Callie wondered, making her way past the bodies that seemed drenched in cologne and privilege. She just needed to make her way to him.

Callie saw the piano before she saw him. And the smile began involuntarily. She would sit at the nearest open table and wait for him. Surprise him. As much as he hated surprises, Callie silently hoped that he would be happy to see her.

Callie stepped out past the crowd and saw the piano player. But…

…he wasn't Brandon.

Callie paused for a moment, feeling as though her logic was failing. She turned and looked about the room and then opened her phone again. "Stardust Haze Hotel." she read aloud and skimmed the address. She was certainly in the right place and this was the piano player for the evening session. But…it wasn't Brandon…

Something was off.

What's going on?

Callie sat down at the nearest table to gather her thoughts. She absently pulled on her ponytail and thought. She could just call him, she realized.

What would I say? She thought, "I'm here in New York because I was on a school tour for a school no one even knows I've applied to and I thought I'd surprise you and ask you for some music while I was at it?"

"May I help you?"

Callie glanced up to see a thin young man with wisps of blond hair smiling down at her. He was a waiter and held a notepad and pen ready to take orders at all times. Callie smiled lightly. "No." she said as she pushed up from the table "I'm actually on my way out." She added.

As the waiter turned to walk away, Callie had a thought "Wait?!" she called and he turned back towards her, clearly surprised by the urgency in her tone. "Sorry," she said smiling shortly and leaning closer to him so that he would hear her over the loud buzz in the room. "Do you know someone named Brandon? Brandon Foster? He's supposed to be…or he used to, I guess, play piano here?"

The puzzled look on the man's face was followed by a slight smile, "Yea, I know him." he said and Callie sighed a little. Okay. So he hadn't lied. "But he doesn't play piano here. Never did." He said and motioned across the room. Callie looked in the direction the guy was pointing, but all she could see was a long bar. She looked at him again. "He's over there. At the bar." The boy said and just as quickly, he rushed away into the sea of potential waiting customers.

Callie had no time to formulate any real thoughts. So, by the time she burst through the crowd and was standing at the bar, the only thing she could say upon seeing him was the first thought that pushed out of her throat. "Brandon?!"

Brandon turned around and shock registered in his expression as he stared at Callie in amazement. "C-Callie?! What are you doing here?!" he said, setting down the glass that was in his hand shakily.

"What am I doing here?" Callie almost screamed with a righteous indignation, "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be playing the piano. Why are you a bartender?"

Brandon looked to the man that stood nearby watching the exchange closely. "Hal, can I take a 5?" he said to the large burly man nodded shortly. Brandon made his way down the long bar and over to Callie. As he walked up to her, Brandon grabbed Callie's hand and pulled her away from the bar. Callie had the urge to snatch away from him angrily, but allowed herself to be carried through the crowd instead. The last thing they needed was to start a scene in here. Wherever here even was.

Safely away from the bar, Brandon turned towards Callie and the anger in his eyes was clear "Callie? What are you doing here?" Brandon hissed again.

Callie crossed her arms, "I thought I was coming to see my honest, piano playing friend. Surprise him. I had no idea I would find some lying bartender instead!"

"Callie, look, I'm sorry I lied alright, but I don't have to explain myself to you! I'm clear across the country and I haven't spoken to you in weeks and before that, maybe months. You can't just show up, catch me doing something that you didn't expect, start yelling at me and expect me to greet you with open arms!"

Brandon's words hurt, regardless of how true they were. Callie stared down at her feet and could feel the unreasonable tears brimming. "I'm…I'm sorry, Brandon. I mean, I wasn't trying to "catch you" in anything. I was just…" she looked up at him. "I thought I was surprising you. I didn't mean to catch you off guard."

Brandon scoffed and stared off in the direction of the bar, "Well, you did, alright? And yes, I am a bartender here but, I wasn't trying to lie to you or anyone. I just didn't want to hear everyone's comments about what I was doing…or wasn't doing rather." He said, and his eyes grazed the ground.

"Anyway, I've gotta get back." Brandon said suddenly and gave Callie a short half-smile. She nodded shortly and stepped aside. They left an unanswered question in the air as Callie stood watching Brandon walk back to the bar, leaving her with nothing but confusion and longing.

More Hours Later

Callie wasn't even sure why she was sitting here, waiting. Brandon wasn't happy to see her and he didn't seem very in a very talkative mood. But still Callie stayed and waited.

Callie leaned back into the large lobby couch and felt the eyes on her. She knew how out of place she looked and felt so small surrounded by the large open space. She absently wondered how Brandon ever felt at home here. She almost felt like she was suffocating in bustle and chatter just waiting for him.

"Hey."

Callie raised her head and saw Brandon. The maroon vest looked so foreign on him but the jean jacket that he wore over it was more his style. Callie smiled slightly noting that he didn't seem upset or even angry. In fact, he almost seemed as though he was expecting her to still be here just as she was.

Callie stood up, her legs having fallen asleep she stumbled a bit and Brandon caught her easily. She wouldn't allow the moment to last and quickly backed away from him and glanced up into his drowning eyes.

"Hey." She replied.

"Hungry?" Brandon asked as he strode in step with her easily as they made their way to the doors. Callie hadn't really thought about food since the plane ride. But she was hungry now that she thought of it.

"I am." Callie glanced back at the large ballroom. "Is the food any good there?"

"I wouldn't know." Brandon laughed amiably, "But, if you're up for a walk, I know the best hot dog place in the city."

Callie smiled up at him, "Sure."

"So…" Brandon began a few silent moments into their walk. "Sorry, about that. Earlier, I mean you just-"

"No, I know. I shouldn't have surprised you that way. I'm the one who's sorry. I wasn't trying to-"

"I know." Brandon said gently and they continued in their silence. Callie looked around and wondered at the billboards, the lights, the loud street chatter. It was all so much.

Callie felt Brandon's eyes on her and turned toward him. "What?"

Brandon smiled and there was a joke of some sort in his eyes "Nothing. Just, it's nice to see you… seeing."

"How do you do this?" Callie asked motioning around. "It's so much."

"Well," Brandon said staring straight ahead shoving his hands into his pocket. "It does take some getting used to."

"I don't think I'd ever get used to this." Callie said and realized how much she was raising her voice just to be heard above the city's noise.

The hot dog vendor smiled brightly at Brandon and in a thick accent counted off his hot dog order. Brandon nodded and looked at Callie. She didn't want the works that he'd gotten and shook her head.

Before Callie could say anything, Brandon said "Just ketchup on hers. And mayo on the bread." Callie smiled at him trilling out her hot dog order by heart.

The two made their way to a nearby bench and sat down. They ate in silence, watching what looked to be a family of pigeons fighting for some crumbs that lined the street.

"So…" Brandon said after a few more moments of quiet "I wasn't a piano player. Ever. I've been working at as a bartender for a few months now. Staying in a small room in the hotel in lieu of pay. I keep the tips though. So that's good."

"But…why…?" Callie asked turning towards him. "And why lie about it?"

"You know Moms would be disappointed. They think I'm meant to be some amazing classical composer and go down in history as a modern day Mozart."

"But, Brandon, you are."

"Callie-"

"You are! I just don't understand what happened. Why aren't you playing? I thought the whole reason you moved here early was to prepare for your next Juilliard audition?"

Brandon shrugged and faltered a bit, but said "It is."

"Then why aren't you doing it?"

"Because,"

"Because why?"

"Because, I'm scared!" Brandon's voice was a harsh tone and Callie looked into his eyes and was shocked to see them brimming with tears.

"I messed up, Callie." Brandon said, quieter as he hung his head a little. "And I just…no matter how hard I try, I keep messing up. Over and over. And I think maybe…maybe I can't play anymore. Maybe, I'm not meant to be…you know, good. Maybe I'm just supposed to be a screw-up. And screw-ups don't get to go down in history as modern day Mozarts'."

Callie stared at him for a few moments and then shook her head saying incredulously, "Brandon, that's total bullshit."

Brandon stared at Callie and gasped derisively before saying angrily "Well, thanks for the pep talk!" and shoving off of the bench as he stomped away from her.

"Brandon, stop!" Callie called, rushing after him but his pace didn't slow. Callie caught up to him easily and leapt in front of him.

"Callie, just leave me alone all right?"

"No!" Callie said holding her hands out to stop him. "Listen to me. Talk to me." Brandon paused and looked down at Callie and into her eyes.

For a moment, the noise stopped and it was as though Brandon and Callie were the only two people on the sidewalk, as Callie found herself drifting into his eyes. It was so strange because weren't they angry at each other?

Callie broke away from the stare and stared down at her hands before moving them away from Brandon's quickened heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just…you know how amazing you are. And you know how much I hate hearing you being down on yourself."

Brandon stared off to the left, his hands finding his pockets "I know." He said quietly. "It's just. I haven't told anyone…until now. And I didn't really wanna hear that when I finally did."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just…Seeing you there? Cleaning out glasses? It was more than a surprise. And then hearing you give that explanation? Like you aren't meant to use your gift? I was disappointed."

Brandon sighed sadly.

"Not because you're a bartender." Callie added quickly. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that, you're so much…more. I was disappointed to find out that you don't know that by now."

Brandon laughed softly now and Callie smiled. They were okay. Like always.

"So…" Brandon said, turning and walking in the other direction as Callie walked along beside him. "Enough about me."

"For now," Callie said, because she wasn't going to let Brandon get away with leaving this conversation here.

"Right. For now." Brandon said as they walked in pace again, back in the direction of the hotel.

"But, you've got some explaining to do yourself." Brandon said and glanced at her again in wonderment. "What are you doing here? I know you didn't travel thousands of miles just to catch me in a lie that you didn't even know I was telling."

Callie laughed at his statement and debated her best way to explain things. It would be a bit nonsensical to say that she came all this way to ask him about the music. So she bit out the first lie she could come up with.

"Robert is here…on business. He asked me if I wanted to tag along and I needed to ask you a favor anyway, so I figured I would ask in person."

"A favor…? What kind of favor?" Brandon said and Callie just looked at him, biting her lip and raising her eyebrows playfully.

Brandon gave his signature exasperated sigh and said in a voice of disbelief.

"Callie…?"

"Brandon…?"

"Please…it's almost 6:00 already and I just wanted a peaceful day tomorrow. I don't need any more trouble."

Callie gasped in mock disbelief saying innocently,

"When have I ever caused you any trouble, Brandon…?"

Brandon looked at Callie and she looked back at him. That he left the question unanswered and responded with only a slight shake of his head and a smile of surrender gave Callie a feeling of familiar happiness.

Everything was different.

But they were the same.