I tuned out my teacher as I reread the note for what had to be the thousandth time.
You are Sophie Foster and you can get through anything and everything.
I hadn't been to my locker since the day before after school ended, but students are allowed to stay after as well, so anyone could've been able to place it in there.
It wasn't Dex; he would tell me straight up and to my face anything he wanted to say to me.
It wasn't Biana; she didn't understand me enough.
It wasn't Fitz; he didn't care about me enough.
It definitely wasn't Keefe, because he surely couldn't have done anything as sweet as that.
Maybe it was Marella.
And suddenly I felt guilty. I hadn't spoken to Marella in weeks. It was probably because she was slowly growing closer to Stina, as they both had broken pasts… much like myself, really, but I could never get along with Stina. But, Marella and I had managed to still keep relatively close ties with one another.
After school, I would call her.
"I know, Marella. I just can't help but to sometimes think, 'what if I just someday suddenly disappeared', you know? I mean, my real parents never wanted me. Alden and Della didn't fight for me, and neither did Biana or… or Fitz, they never argued to keep me. And Grady and Edaline? I love them, really, but… their life was so hard without Jolie, and then I come in. Let's face it, it's not like they even really wanted me in the first place. Alden and Della wanted to get rid of me… and they made up an excuse and threw me to Grady and Edaline." I paused, taking a deep breath.
"You know you're loved, right?" Marella's normally strong voice was soft and caring as she asked that question.
"I- I know. And They've told me too. Dex also- hold on Marella, I heard something." I whispered the last part.
After I said Dex's name, I swore I heard something growl. I crept around the corner, stuck my head out… and saw nothing. I brought the phone back up to my ear again, "Sorry?"
Marella whispered, "What was it?"
I laughed it off, "Nothing, I guess. You can stop whispering." I changed the topic. "Anyway, when are you coming to school?"
She knew me well enough to know that when I changed the subject, that was it, so she answered in a 'duh' tone, "In two hours, when school starts. Why do you always go to school early anyway? There's nothing for you there."
I sighed leaning against the lockers, "There's nothing for me at home either. Or anywhere really…"
I heard her scoff, "Soph, stop being so overdramatic." I smiled mirthfully. Same old spitfire Marella. "Of course there are places for you. I'm sure if push really came to shove, the Vackers would totally take you in."
"But," I tugged on an itchy eyelash. "Fitz…" I hardly whispered the last part, so it was no surprise she couldn't hear me.
"What?"
"I mean- you know… with the Vackers."
She made a soft sounding 'oh' before blowing a raspberry. "Yeah, well… I mean, maybe Bronte will adopt you." I snorted and she laughed. I leaned over and hugged my knees.
"Yeah… you're… you're right, Marella. Right as always."
"Mhmm," I heard her take in a deep breath and figured she must be smelling all of her perfumes again. She had an obsession with smelling all perfumed fragrances. "I am always right. Now stop worrying your pretty little head off and get home."
I managed a breathless sigh, "Okay."
When I finally got home, I didn't go into her house. I sat on the doorstep as I stared out at the grassy expanse of my adoptive parents' estate. I could hear the crashing of waves in the distance, washing up remains of the past and then burying them under the folds of itself again, dragging it to the depths of the ocean.
I sighed; it was a habit I was picking up recently. I shrugged off my backpack and watched it land on the step, teeter over the edge, and then roll down the steps. Iggy came over from the backyard and nudged my side. I gave a sad smile and walked down the steps, slinging my backpack over one shoulder, and trudging through the still slightly wet grass. When I neared the rocky cliff, that I knew Edaline hated me being by, I plopped herself down and opened my bag. I took out a leftover half of a sad sandwich and munched on it thoughtfully. Breadcrumbs fell down on my shirt and Iggy licked them off. With a short but joyous laugh, I fell backward, clutching my beloved dog's head over my chest as he struggled to get free.
I sat up when he did, hair a mess and plastered to my chin from dog drool. I sighed again and slouched forward, huffing as I dropped her elbows to the floor. I sat in a straddle, bag under my tummy as I leaned over it, head in my hands as I listened to the crashing waves. Head in my hands as I lulled off to sleep.
I woke to someone shaking me. "Oh, Sophie…" I blinked groggily as I looked up at Keefe. Strange. Grady let him onto the property? He ruffled my hair, "Up you go," he pulled me to my feet and watched with a smirk as I struggled to keep my balance. I glared at him.
"What?"
He shrugged, "Oh, nothing, just that everybody has been going insane because they thought you did something Sophie, Sophie." I sighed at my friend's usage of my name instead of the word 'stup¡d'.
"Why?"
He drooped and made his voice long and dreary, "Because you're all sad all the time, and," he gave an over-the-top sigh, "life is just horrible." He remained in his slouched position before straightening, rumpling his shirt, and flashing that smirk at me. "Now, come on. Grady said I had ten minutes to find you or he'd throw me out."
Grady ran his hands through his hair for what had to be the millionth time. Well, it was actually only the forty-seventh time. Forty-eighth. Forty-nine. "Sophie," fifty, "how could you worry us all like that?" Fifty-one, fifty-two. Edaline placed a calming hand on his shoulder.
"What he means is… are you okay, Sophie?" Fifty-three. And she shot me her seventh worried smile.
"No, that's not what I mean. I- I mean- Sophie!" Fifty-four. Eight. "We were worried sick." And then he pulled me into a hug and Edaline's warm arms joined his around my waist. This is what it feels like to be loved. But I just wished they would get their hands off me. They squeezed me tighter. Stop. Get your hands off me. Get your hands off me. You don't really love me.
"Get off." They pulled back slightly and looked at me curiously, arms still wrapped around us. "Get off, get off, get off, get off. Get your hands off me!" I pushed them away harshly, shoving the rising guilt down as I ran up my stairs. I locked the door of the landing and walked around the third floor. My floor. I opened the doors to my room and slammed it shut, leaning my forehead against it as I sighed.
"Wow, Drama Queen. Didn't know you had it in you to scream at your parents like that." I whirled around to see Keefe holding a framed photo. "And why isn't there a photo of me and you on your desk? Huh? Only Fitz is special enough to get a place on Foster's desk?" Even if he couldn't see my face turn red, he'd be able to tell I was embarrassed. "Aw, no need to be shy about your little crush on Wonderboy. Huh, Dex was right all along. It is a good nickname." I was fuming by now.
This was my room, my sanctuary, and he just comes in and ruins it. "Get out. Please." I didn't sound mad or agitated. I heard the crack at the end of my 'please' and I could feel the tears pricking at the backs of my eyes.
His face fell and he pulled me into a hug. I cried into his shoulder.
"I just don't know what to do." Keefe continued to brush my hair until his long, slender fingers began to weave their way into my hair, twisting it into loose, intricate designs as I leaned back into his chest. "What's wrong with me, Keefe?" He hummed.
"Lots of things, Foster. But, hey, remember. All of us are messed up. You've got this crazy identity crisis going on right now, I'm trying to be the perfect son for my parents while still trying to be me. Fitz is trying to live up to the standards of his older brother who, even though got sent to jail, was smarter, stronger, and better looking than him. Don't you agree?" Classic Keefe, to sneak in a small tease.
"I disagree."
He laughed, "Biana doesn't know who her real friends are and she's struggling to live up to both of her brother's accomplishments. Marella is super short," he snickered, "and has Mommy Daddy issues too. Jensi is… well, Jensi can be a bit off-putting because of his… nature." I laughed. "And Valen? Oh, he's just incredibly greasy." He tied the ends of my hair with a band and led me to the mirror. I marveled at how beautiful I looked with just a simple change in my hairstyle.
"Keefe…"
"Ah," he waved his hand, "It's nothing big. Biana taught me how to braid and I needed someone to practice on."
It was my time to tease him. "Biana?"
He ignored me. "I mean, it's not like I could've braided Fitz's hair. I mean he's perfect and all, but he's not perfect for hair-braiding. Plus, it'd be kinda weird."
"To be with the brother of the girl you like?"
He scoffed, only picking out bits he wanted to hear. "Be with Fitz? Gross. He's not my type."
"I didn't mean be with him, I just- nevermind." He smirked and I stuck my tongue out at him. Whenever I was with Keefe, I felt like a child; carefree. I didn't have to bottle up my feelings or put up a strong wall. He was probably my closest friend after Dex. "But… you want to be with him."
"You want to be with Biana."
He poked me in my side and I squirmed, poking his back in his cheek. "Chubby." He looked taken aback as his hand flew to his heart.
"Me? Chubby? Why, never. How dare you insult me like that!" I could immediately tell he was doing an impression of his own father, and I didn't doubt that he would say something like that. He took a step forward and squished both cheeks. I jabbed at his arm, and so the two of us went for what had to be half an hour before the door slammed open and we froze. We were now lying on the ground, in the midst of my rose petals; caught in compromising positions. Keefe was lying to the side of me, propped up on one elbow as he leaned over me, poking at my other side. He was lying on my arm which was why the other was being used to pull at his 'magnificent hair,' as he called it.
I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped it wasn't Grady as we untangled ourselves and sat up.
Maybe it would've been better to have been 'caught' by Grady. Staring at the both of us with disbelieving eyes were the two Vacker siblings.
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