THANKS MOONLARK FOR THE TIP ON ZOMBIE MODE!
I only felt lonelier as the days went by. I was in full zombie-mode. I didn't pay attention to what I ate, what I wore, or anything. Except one thing. I guess I did pay attention to one thing.
The notes.
Sophie, you got this! Don't let anyone's harsh opinions bring you down!
You're amazing, never forget it.
Seeing you sad makes me sad. Cheer up, Buttercup.
Sorry if these notes are cheesy. I think they're grate.
Hey, nice job on the science test! You're all over the front page of our website.
You have a nice smile. You should show it more often.
Don't be blue, be brown! (That was about your mood and then your eyes, by the way. How dumb is it that this school only excepts people with blue eyes?)
You're really special.
There really are people who care about you.
I began collecting the notes and creating a folder in my binder just for them. Every time I felt more down in the dumps than usual, I'd pull one out and look at them. They were fairly consistent in how often they'd show up in my locker. Almost every day, I'd find a note that had been pushed through the grated front lying on my stack of books. Almost every day, they'd bring a small smile to my face.
Where's the Sophie we all know and love? The old Sophie I knew and loved.
A new note had appeared in my locked. I read it over again in science class.
And in math class.
And in my language class.
And then on the bus home.
And then in my room.
Before I went to bed.
When I woke up again.
On the bus.
At school.
And then there was a new note.
I
That was it. A single letter.
I re-read it in my next class.
And the next.
In the hallway.
During lunch.
In the locker rooms.
On the bus.
Before bed.
On the bus.
At school.
And then there was a new note.
Miss
And I read it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And then there was a new note.
You.
I smiled.
The day passed slower than usual, which I thought was good. I paid attention in class. I had language first. And then I had a ten-minute break. I smiled at Marella who only gave me a wary smile. And then I had science. I smiled at Fitz who returned a smile of his own. A dazzling smile. For the first time in a while, I felt happy. And then I had lunch. I laughed at a joke Marella made. I hugged Dex goodbye. I nodded at Keefe. I grinned at Fitz. I ignored Biana. I had math after. I had fun too.
I went home. I hugged Iggy. I re-read all three noted a million times. And then I went to bed.
When I woke up the next morning, I took a warm shower. Immediately, I relaxed and suddenly I realized how sore I was. My shoulders had been hunched over the past few days. Weeks. Months? How long had it been since I tuned everything out?
My legs needed to be stretched out because whenever I was alone I curled into a ball and cried. My hair was tangled, my eyes had bags, and my lips were chapped and bled every time I so much as pursed them.
But I felt good. Exhilarated. Like I had just come out from hibernation. It was strange, though. I felt fresh, clean, new.
I stepped out, shivering in the pleasantly chilly air and throwing on my school clothes. I brushed my teeth and smiled in the mirror. I looked happy. The happiest I'd looked in a while. I was sure the person writing the notes for me would notice my change. My cheeks flushed in my reflection, making me smile even more giddily. Acting on impulse, I applied lipgloss. Thinking again, I rubbed it off. Maybe for another day.
When I opened the door, Iggy's ears perked up and he wagged his tail. I shook my head as I smiled despite myself. I walked to my desk, grabbing my phone and throwing my backpack over my shoulder.
One missed call from Disney.
I stared at the notification for a while. I didn't want Dex to have a panic attack as soon as I answered, but the more I delayed talking to him, the more I'd regret it. Plus, I wouldn't want anyone other than him to be the first person I talk to after my 'hibernation'.
Pressing the call button, I walked downstairs. "Grady, Edaline! Is breakfast ready?" I skipped down the last few steps and ran into the kitchen, tossing my blonde hair back over my shoulder so it wouldn't get in the way of the surely delicious and creamy breakfast planned for me-
"Sorry, Sophie," Edaline ran by and placed a hurried and hasty kiss on the top of my head. "Grady and I have some papers to run by Alden, so we'll drop you off first. I told Della to prepare your favorite foods, so it'll be alright."
Grady hurried by next, struggling with his tie as he ran around the room. "Uh, honey? Have you seen my car keys?" By now, Grady and Edaline had learned to steer clear of me. They stopped referring to each other as Mom and Dad and stopped calling me honey or dear. I knew he wasn't talking to me.
"Yes, Grady, they're in your pockets." Grady fumbled around, trying to search all his pockets at once before he finally found them.
"Oh, I suppose they are. I'm a little muddle-headed. Too many distractions around the house, I guess."
No one commented on the silence that cloaked the three of us.
"I'll- I'm going to get the car running while you guys get ready, yeah?" Both just nodded, letting me walk to the car and sit in it alone. Partially alone, I guess.
"Wow, I did not mean to answer to that cat fight. Call me back when it's over." Dex made impressions of a phone hanging up, to which I laughed at.
"Come on, Dex. I know you're still on the phone." I paused. "I can hear your heavy breathing." In an attempt to control his breaths, Dex must've tried breathing in a more shallow fashion. However, he only succeeded for a short time before he choked on his own saliva, causing both him and I to burst out laughing.
"Okay, okay." I could still hear the smile in Dex's voice. "Now that I know you're not zombie-Sophie, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? I ASK YOU HOW YOU ARE AT LUNCH AND YOU JUST NOD AND SAY 'maybe later'. Maybe later. MAYBE LATER? SOPHIE!" I held the phone farther from my ear, not wanting to have to listen to an angry Dex rant.
"Dex, hey, hey. I just... fell into a slump. And it wasn't for that long either!"
"You call two months 'not long'? Really, Sophie? We've been worried sick about you!"
"Who's we?"
There was a pause on the other end, "Well, you know. Me, Marella, Keefe, Wonderboy... Tam came up behind me in the parking lots and asked how you were doing. Linh's been kinda worried too, I guess. She really looks up to you." I smiled at that. "And... Biana."
Biana's name sent my heart racing. I'd missed Biana before I fell into the slump, we had-
The smile dropped.
"Biana?" Even I could tell my voice was cold. It left no place for an answer, argument, or response of any sort.
"Really, now? Because I'm actually going to her house right now, and I think I owe her a little chat."
"Sophie- no, no, no, no-"
But I'd already hung up.
"Grady, Edaline!" Della lowered her head in a familiar gesture toward me, "Sophie." Her voice was so warm it filled me with despair. She must already know what's coming. The important papers were obviously the adoption papers. Or something else related to Grady and Edaline giving up on me.
I wouldn't know what the papers consist of because I haven't been involved in many adoptions nor had I been placed in many foster homes. No one wanted Sophie Foster, the un-fosterable child. I snorted, causing Della to cast a cautious glance my way. I dismissed it by looking away.
And walking toward me in all his perfection was Fitz. Greeting me by the gates to a boundless garden that led way to a lavish mansion. I couldn't help but sigh dreamily at the notion.
"Hey, Sophie." My heart leaped and did stup¡d flips when his teal eyes met mine.
"Hey, Fitz." My heart skipped a beat as he grabbed my hand, but I quickly pulled away.
He looked almost hurt but recovered quickly if he did feel that way. Flashing me another brilliant smile, he spoke. "I'm assuming you want to talk to Biana."
I just nodded my head, not trusting myself to speak in front of him. If I said the wrong thing, he'd definitely prevent me from seeing his sister.
Walking faster to avoid his questioning gaze, I speed-walked into Everglen, their splendid house that really could accommodate me is the Vackers wanted me- which, of course, they don't.
"Wait. Sophie." A hand grabbed my wrist, softly but firmly. "Biana's wrong, by the way. I hope you sort the whole thing out." Our eyes locked and he transmitted a single message through his teal eyes: I believe in you.
When I gave him small smile and a nod, he let go of my arm, reaching back to rub his neck, which he sometimes did when he was nervous.
I walked up the stairs slowly, listening to my steps echo throughout the house nearly as empty as my heart. And then I reached Biana's room.
But, before I knocked, I fully processed what Fitz had said. Biana's wrong.