In hindsight, perhaps they should have told Jaal what Long Island Iced Tea was before they let him drink it.
Gil and Scott's conversation died down when the door to the kitchen opened. Vetra stood at the counter pouring something in a glass. She looked up at Scott and smiled when she saw him. "Oh, hi hun. I was just about to come find you. I made you something."
A silent voice started screaming inside his head at the words "made you something", as it did anytime Vetra was left alone in the kitchen following what he secretly referred to as the Cow Incident behind her back. She clearly noticed his forced smile and the strained way he replied, "That's great, Vetra!"
She laughed, obviously understanding his discomfort and reassured him, "Relax, I actually know how to make this one." She set a glass down on the table and stuck a straw in it. Scott had to admit he felt a strong wave of relief when he saw that what she made him at least wasn't food. "It's a Long Island Iced Tea. Cora told me you said you liked them?"
Technically he'd told Cora that it was the first alcoholic cocktail he drank after he reached legal drinking age and that it had knocked him on his ass, but that he hadn't regretted it. It looked right, but whether or not she'd actually succeeded in recreating a human cocktail that she couldn't taste remained to be seen.
Yeah, why the hell not. He took a sip and was surprised by the taste. "That's actually pretty good," he said in surprise.
"Clearly I should have just made cocktails instead of the Cow Incident," Vetra replied. Scott choked on his alcohol. "Yes, I know you call it that, Scott. Don't forget we learned the hard way that you can't keep secrets on the Tempest."
"Where did you learn to mix alcohol, Vetra?" Gil inquired.
"I actually worked at a gay bar for about a month as a bartender," she replied.
"A gay bar? Really?" Scott asked.
"Probably one of the better jobs I've had. I wasn't harassed by too many drunk guys and the women would usually give me huge tips for some reason."
Scott snickered. "For some reason. Can't imagine why."
Vetra figured since Gil was here, she might as well make him something too. "So Gil, what would you like?"
"I'll have a virgin White Russian," he replied.
She stared him down, trying to determine if he was serious. "Gil, that's milk."
"Could you put chocolate in it?"
"I'm making cocktails," she pointed out.
"I'm working with heavy machinery," he pointed out in return.
"Good point. One chocolate milk it is."
She was in the middle of stirring in the chocolate when the door opened and Jaal walked in. "What's everyone doing?" he asked.
"Making drinks," Vetra replied. She set the glass down in front of Gil and turned back around to clean up.
Jaal sat down next to Scott and reached over, pulling his drink closer. He had a habit of tasting everyone's food and drinks because it allowed him to try them without wasting anything when it inevitably turned out that he didn't like them.
"Jaal, that's..." Scott stopped and looked at Vetra with concern when Jaal removed the straw and chugged about half of it. Gil was making a sound that sounded something like muffled snickering. "Jaal, you realize that's..."
Jaal seemed not to notice his concern. "This is actually pretty good. What's in it?"
Vetra looked at the glass and noticed how much he drank already. "Well, there's...lemon," she replied. She turned back around and grabbed a bottle of vodka. "I'll make you another one, hun," she said to Scott while she fished out another glass from the cabinet.
Jaal placed the now empty glass of ice on the table. "Make me another one too, please," he requested.
Vetra very slowly turned around with a look of horror and silent amusement. "Sure...two Long Island Iced Teas coming up..."
Everyone gathered to find out what the source of the loud crash was and found Jaal sitting on the floor with a box that he'd put on his head.
"Jaal, what are you doing?" Liam asked.
"I found my new room!" he said excitedly with a very slurred voice.
"That's a potato crate, Jaal," he pointed out.
Jaal started laughing and attempted to stand up with the box still on his head. "Well I'm gonna live in it now!"
Scott, Gil and Vetra stood nearby watching him, wondering if they should do something or see how this played out. Scott slowly sipped his drink, the view in front of him a stark reminder not to drink it as fast as Jaal had drank his.
"Is he okay?" Drack asked.
"He's fine. Just really drunk. Vetra made cocktails and he drank mine," Scott replied.
"I don't think he realized how much alcohol in them," Gil pointed out.
"I don't think he realized there was alcohol in them," Vetra added.
"Wait, you just didn't tell him?" Lexi asked. "Why not?"
"This was funnier," Scott shrugged.
Jaal pulled the crate off his head and just sort of dropped it. He stared at it a moment as though he were surprised that it had succumbed to gravity rather than floating in the middle of the air. "Where did that box come from?" he asked as though seeing it for the first time.
"Jaal, you're drunk," Cora pointed out.
"No, you're drunk!" Jaal slurred. He started to totter forward and stumbled, stepping into a bucket full of soapy water and getting it stuck on his foot before tripping, slamming face-first into a wall, and landing on his ass. "Someone put a wall here..."
"Yes, and I can tell you her name if you want," Kallo replied.
"Okay, maybe you should sleep this off," Cora suggested. She tried to pull him to his feet but his body seemed to have gained the consistency of loose rubber and he still had his foot stuck in the bucket.
"No, no...I fine!" Jaal replied. He tried to stand up on his own and she almost dropped him trying to keep him from pulling the front of her shirt down. He stumbled forward and face-planted on the ground. "Someone put a floor here..."
"Same person," Kallo pointed out.
Peebee knelt on the floor beside him and clapped a hand on his back. "Jaal. Buddy. You really can't hold your alcohol."
Jaal rolled onto his back, reached out, and clamped his hand over her face. "No, you...you...what?"
"What?" she asked after pushing his hand off her face.
"Who's talking?"
"You are. And you have a bucket on your foot." She grabbed the bucket and pulled it off with an audible pop. What little water still remained in the bucket trickled out onto the floor.
"We could probably put him on my couch until he sleeps it off," Liam suggested.
"What if he pees himself?" Scott pointed out.
"We could probably put him on your couch until he sleeps it off," Liam suggested.
Jaal awkwardly stood up on wobbly legs once more. "Hey...every...everyone. I have something very important that I want to share with you all," Jaal said as he started leaning off to one side. "I...am a spaceship."
They silently stared at him, waiting for him to maybe change his statement or elaborate on it. "What?" Vetra asked.
Jaal started making spaceship noises and slowly fell forward, landing on the floor again.
"You didn't by any chance try to slip Ryder ryncol in that cocktail, did you?" Drack asked Vetra.
"Neh, trust me, Long Island Iced Tea doesn't need it," Vetra replied.
"Okay, let's put him somewhere so he doesn't hurt himself," Scott suggested.
It took a group effort to get Jaal up, but he more or less led them rather than the other way around. In the end, he climbed into the cargo space of the Nomad completely unprompted and curled up in the cramped space before passing out and snoring loudly.
"Do you think he's going to be okay in there?" Suvi asked.
Liam slammed the hatch door shut and locked it. "Well he's certainly not getting out until he sobers up at any rate."
There was a fumbling sound from inside the Nomad's cargo space. When the lock failed to disengage, the occupant resorted to banging on the door. Gil reached around the side and popped the lock and quickly retracted his hand as the door flew open.
"How did I get in there?!" Jaal shouted as he sat up all at once. He instantly regretted it and put one hand to his head when he was overcome with the worst headache he'd ever felt in his life.
"Narnia portals will spring up in the weirdest places," Gil shrugged. He reached for a drawing sitting on his workbench and handed it to Jaal. "Peebee drew you something."
Jaal's vision was still a little blurry as he struggled to focus on the drawing. It was a picture of him shaped like a rocket blasting through space with the caption, 'Jaal is a spaceship'. "Gil?" he groaned. "What did I do last night?"
Gil looked inside the hatch of the vehicle, looked annoyed, and grabbed the bucket, which had since been refilled with soapy water. "Apparently you pissed in the back of the Nomad on the emergency food rations..."