Then

Kevin's life had changed enormously since his first Hunger, but the first time he truly comprehended just how much was different when he returned to school. Due to working out his own issues, he started his sophomore year nearly a month after the rest of his classmates.

His dad had helped him clear the path, writing him an excuse and supplying him with a doctor's note that said he'd been out with mono, when really Lara had been teaching him how to control his newfound vampire urges. He'd also obtained permission for Kevin to participate in cross country again despite missing the preseason and then the regular season of the program.

But really, Kevin wouldn't have needed any of the papers. Because as one of the White Court, it was very, very easy to convince people to do whatever he wanted.

A dazzling smile along with a heavy push of glamour had Ms. Ganesh willing to excuse him from all the history classwork and homework that he'd missed. A touch on Coach Clayton's shoulder had him writing Kevin a pass to the library instead of expecting him to attend class. And a caress of Assistant Principal Stanger's face (an admittedly bold move, but he didn't see why he should bother with subtlety when his vampire heritage already made everyone want him anyway) led him to forget about giving Kevin detention when he walked into the school building an hour late.

Even athletics no longer had any challenge. As long as he fed regularly, he was stronger and faster and had more stamina than any of his opponents. He could win his races without even trying.

And he could get anyone he wanted into bed with him.

His first day back, he was inundated with attention and enamorment from male and female students alike, and it wasn't necessarily limited to just the students, either. Kevin could understand why; after all, he was new and improved. Gone was the uncertain, gawky kid with overly-gelled mousy brown hair who dressed like an elderly professor right down to the actual loafers. In his place was a smooth operator with actual charm and confidence who wore clothing that emphasized his well-toned body and lithe build, someone capable of drawing people to him instead of sending them cringing away due to his awkwardness.

It was a welcome change, mostly.

But there was an inevitable downside to starting school so much later than everyone else: friendships had already formed and cliques had already been created, and he wasn't part of any of them. Betty Cooper, his best friend since childhood, had been befriended by fallen debutante Veronica Lodge. Together they'd joined the cheerleading squad, and now Betty divided her time between Veronica, cheerleading, and Jughead, who she had begun dating. And with his relationship with Betty and his excessive brooding, Jughead's schedule was also full. Likewise, Archie was now preoccupied with music and football. They were all too busy with their own activities to be particularly concerned with Kevin's absence or return. When Kevin returned, none of them had the time to hang out with him, or, apparently, any interest in doing so.

Kevin had the looks. He had sex appeal in spades: the allure, physique, and physical prowess. But it seemed that in order to get them, he'd had to trade his friends.

So, frustrated and lonely, he decided to use the power he had to do who he wanted: Moose Mason.

If he wasn't mistaken, Moose had been eyeing him up since the end of last school year, and Kevin even then had readily returned the interest. But there was a problem. Moose would never stray from his girlfriend Midge, who was also a friend of Kevin's and in student government with him.

But a few provocative poses and several heavy pushes of glamour later, Kevin had convinced Moose to come home with him after school. While Kevin wanted to be thrilled over the victory, trying to suppress the overwhelming guilt when he accepted proved to be a losing battle.

Feeding was feeding, Kevin tried to tell himself after cross country practice as he walked across the parking lot to Moose's battered pickup. It might have been wrong to chase after Moose when he was with Midge, but he needed to feed one way or the other. He would probably end up feeding from a married man or woman someday. He might as well get his first experience in cheating over with.

"Hey, Keller!" A voice called to him cheerfully, breaking Kevin out of his own pitiful self-justification. Moose was approaching him with a smile, his hair still damp from showering after football practice. "Need a ride?"

He had to smile at that—one of the reasons he'd always liked Moose was his generosity.

"That's about the idea," Kevin drawled as Moose walked up to him. He reached out and laid a hand on Moose's shoulder, drawing him closer as he directed his glamour at him. When he inhaled, he could smell Moose's pine-scented body wash. "I have desperate, desperate need."

He locked gazes with Moose, whose eyes clouded with lust as he stared at Kevin.

"Right," he said, licking his lips as if his mouth was suddenly dry. He visibly swallowed. "Right," he repeated.

"Terrific." Kevin smiled at him, ignoring the growing guilt in his stomach. "We can go to my place. My dad won't be home until late." He plucked the keys out of Moose's hands. "I'll drive."

Sex with Moose was fantastic, even accompanied by his growing guilt. There was an enormous amount of energy for Kevin to feed off of, and the more enthusiastic Moose got, the more there was to take. Kevin was alarmed to find himself unable or unwilling to stop the feeding, even when he knew he should, because of how welcome it felt, how revitalizing the process was.

When he finally managed to separate himself from Moose, he was gasping for breath and unable to speak.

At the sight of him, Moose broke out of his spell immediately. "Oh, dammit, are you okay? I'm sorry I was that rough with you. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened to me . . ."

Kevin managed to find his voice. "It's fine. I'm okay. I guess I just wasn't expecting the, um, intensity of it."

He tried to grin, but Moose just looked at him with a worried frown, combing his fingers through his own hair.

"Look, this was a mistake," he said finally. "I shouldn't have done any of that to you, and I—" he shook his head. "Midge. I can't believe I did this to her." He rose from the bed and began gathering his clothes. "Kevin, this is never going to happen again, and I need you to keep it a secret that it happened at all." He sighed. "Oh, God. Why the hell did I do any of this?"

Seeing Moose's instant regret, Kevin could not help but feel the same way. Why had he thought feeding off of Moose would be a good idea? The action had served to do nothing but destroy the friendship they'd once had.

It was about sustenance, Kevin reminded himself. Sex was literally something he needed.

And because he needed it, he couldn't help but feel like the act was empty. He could use his influence to get whatever he wanted, get with whoever he wanted, but there was no meaning behind. No one was acting on genuine affection; they were responding to surface attraction in addition to his own manipulations.

He'd tried to ignore it. He'd wanted to pretend that Moose had chosen him, valued him over Midge.

But now, as Kevin watched Moose hurriedly grabbing and pulling on his clothes, he knew that Moose had already chosen Midge over him and always would.

Now

True to his word, Kevin's father, Sheriff Tom Keller, was waiting up for him, sitting at the kitchen table and examining the homecrafted silver bullets he'd made for any flaw. He gave Kevin a smile as he walked in. The two of them had never looked much alike even before Kevin had changed into a vampire, but if there was one similarity to be found between himself and his father, it was their smile.

"Welcome home." Tom rose from the table to wrap Kevin in a warm hug, which Kevin returned gratefully.

No one else really touched him these days for reasons beyond combat or sex, and it was nice to have the contact, the physical comfort, and know that he had at least one person in his life who truly cared for him. It was a welcome shelter from the ongoing blizzard that was his life.

"How was your meeting?" Kevin asked when the embrace ended.

"Fine. About what I expected." Tom stood back and eyed Kevin critically. "You look worn out. Didn't you get a chance to have dinner?"

Kevin shook his head. "No. Between the job Lara sent me on and then feeding, I was too busy."

"Hmm," was Tom's only reply as he ushered Kevin into a chair and then walked over to the stove. He'd never explicitly said anything against Lara, but given how he'd never mentioned Kevin's mother or her family before Lara materialized, Kevin would gather his father tolerated her presence in his life as a necessary evil rather than actively approved of or welcomed her involvement.

Tom brought Kevin a bowl of thick chicken stew and a plate of freshly baked rolls. "Here. Eat up. You look dead on your feet."

Kevin accepted the food gratefully. As a vampire, he didn't have the human need for nutrition, only needing to eat for nourishment rather than vitamins. He could live off of Twizzlers for the rest of his life and fine, but he still appreciated someone taking the time to make him a home-cooked meal.

"Got hit on by one of the Serpents today," he told his father as he ate. "He asked if I wanted to go to dinner sometime, and I said yes."

Tom looked at him consideringly. "Do you think it was genuine?"

Kevin shrugged. "It would be nice if it was. I didn't get any sense of the supernatural from him. He asked me about FP Jones and I after seeing the two of us together, and he asked referred to FP by name, so I think that he was human, at least. As far as his motives go, it's anyone's guess."

"I suppose you could do worse than FP Jones," Tom said calmly. "What's this Serpent's name?"

"Joaquin DeSantos," Kevin replied, taking the final bite of his stew.

"DeSantos?" Tom thought for a moment. "A couple of speeding tickets, and he's been brought in for questioning, but we've never tied him to anything serious."

"Sounds like I could handle him in a fight should I ever need to," Kevin noted.

"I hope you never will. You could use someone in your life outside of the supernatural world," Tom said kindly.

Kevin cast him a quizzical glance. "You'd support me dating a gang member?"

"I'd support you having someone you could finally relax around," Tom replied. Gently, he brushed the hair back from Kevin's forehead. "I know the past few months have been an adjustment. You're under a lot of pressure, and you have to keep a lot of secrets. Having someone mundane in your life, someone who helps you forget about all of that, even for a little while, could be enormously helpful. Just to give you a temporary escape."

His father made a good point, one

Kevin hadn't really considered. Already, he realized with a sinking heart, he thought of humans as just food, not as individuals with whom he could form relationships. He had embraced his vampire side more than he'd thought.

"You really think it could happen?" he asked, the words grating in his throat. His pulse was pounding, and he suddenly was overcome by the need to seek reassurance from the only reliable figure in his life. "Me and a mortal?"

His father reached out and gripped his shoulder, giving Kevin a lone lifeline in the storm. "I think if anyone has that hope, it's you."