（＊〇□〇）…！

After my 'chance' run-in with Feitan and the revelation that my bathroom was a freaking portal to Hunter x Hunter—a fact I was still very much sore about – I did the next most logical thing anyone would (probably) do in my situation.

I blew my savings on all volumes of the manga and binge read the series. Alright. Fine. That sounded pretty dumb even to my own ears but I was a firm believer of the phrase 'knowledge itself is power'. It wasn't wise to just blindly make my way through a world without having some sort of information about it. The least I could do was familiarize myself with the names and faces of characters most likely to kill me in a painful and gruesome manner, so that I could avoid them like the plague.

Even if the lot of them were painfully good-looking, a traitorous part of my mind supplied.

Unfortunately, I was nowhere near halfway finishing the manga as I had only managed to read eleven volumes in one night, dutifully ignoring the approaching date of my exam as there were much more pressing issues at hand.

Like getting my bathroom fixed for instance. Since it wasn't well, you know, supposed to be connecting to anywhere else but my own room.

I briefly wondered if there was some sort of inter-dimensional plumber that had services that catered to my needs.

Chewing my lips in contemplation, I sneaked a wary glance at my bathroom's door for the fifth time in the past hour, worried that some fictional character would burst out like a madman. Although to be fair, nearly all the characters in Hunter x Hunter had some varying degrees of madness. After all, I had read enough about them to know that their abilities' surpassed the realm of human possibilities and understanding.

In other words, a lot of them were too overpowered.

"Why," I groaned, massaging my temples in exasperation. "Couldn't my bathroom be a portal to a much more peaceful series than this?" Like you know, a shoujo manga, instead of some freaking shounen manga that was far too violent for my tastes wherein losing a limb or two was but a flesh wound. I mean was it too much to ask for that I at least be given a choice in the universe I would be thrown into?

Getting thrown into an otome game* sounded pretty appealing right now. At least in that universe, my only concern would be my ever growing reverse harem of good-looking men who would love me no matter my flaw—actually, no. You know what? Never mind. I've read enough reincarnation light novels* to realize that being thrown into a world that's not yours always had its catch.

Got reincarnated into your favorite dating game? Oh whoops. Looks like you reincarnated as a character that was doomed to die. Got reincarnated as a main character? Good luck. All of your love interests have an unhealthy obsession for you and would literally kill for your sake—yikes.

Can you see my dilemma?

So as much as I adored the 'reincarnating into your favorite series' genre ,that didn't mean I wanted it to happen in real life.

There was a reason it was called fiction in the first place.

It didn't even make sense now that I think about it. It was one thing to suddenly be dumped into a franchise you loved or were at least highly familiar with as a lot of reincarnations stories were wont to do. And it was another thing altogether to be placed in a series that you only had a very brief passing fancy for. To be completely honest, I didn't even make it past the Yorkshin arc when I first read Hunter x Hunter. Heck, I barely even recall the main quartet's names! The only one I remembered after all this time was Hisoka and even then I only knew him as the 'pedoclown' who perved on the main characters just by being himself.

A shudder ran through my shoulders as I thought of the possibility of running into Hisoka . That was definitely a meeting I never wanted to happen. As much as I think it would be fun to relive my childhood (no matter how brief my Hunter x Hunter phase was) and go on small scale adventures with the main four, the looming threat posed by homicidal assassins, perverted and homicidal clowns, and creatures of unusual sizes was enough for me to quickly dismiss that idea.

After all, I didn't particularly feel like dying a bloody and violent death any time soon.

With a defeated sigh, I reluctantly rolled over to the edge of my bed to make my way to the bathroom, dragging my feet as I went. For the past few days, due to my worry of being transported into another world for the third time, I had to swallow my pride and shame, resorting to the use of the public bath*. Granted, it wasn't as bad as I made it sound and there was the bonus of having the vending machine stocked with my favorite brand of coffee milk. But it just wasn't the same as using my own tub , you know?

Eventually, I realized that my daily trip to the local bath was far too time consuming and ate at my time to study and mull over my situation. After a short debate with myself, I finally decided to use my bathroom rationalizing that maybe this time would be different.

And since I was no idiot, mind you, I set up numerous countermeasures in order to avoid last time's momentous events—for a lack of better term. A long and thorough reflection (read : 5 minutes tops) on my circumstance made me come to the conclusion that my door only connected to other places when it was closed and re-opened , which meant that so long as I didn't close my door, I was safe!

Probably.

But it was worth a shot wasn't it?

With my bathroom door tied to my sink and with a piece of rock acting as a door stopper, I at last had a chance to enjoy a warm soak in my bathtub after what seemed like hundreds of years – I exaggerate of course but please allow me this small indulgence.

At that moment, I was honestly beginning to feel proud of myself. I mean, have you ever heard of a protagonist outsmarting the plot of her own story? I was actually effectively able to stay one step ahead of the unknown forces that thought it would be a good idea to dump me in the world of Hunters by stopping the catalyst of this entire fiasco!

"Ha! Take that, Powers That Be!" I pumped my fist into the air as I declared my short-lived victory to no one in particular.

Unfortunately, there was such a thing as Murphy's Law and so I quickly found myself tripping on air as I flailed about like an uncoordinated monkey before crashing my head painfully against the door, making it close with a loud thud, despite my precautions.

I won't even begin to try and explain how it happened because even I don't understand. Just know that through some convenient and contrived plot device—I suspected divine intervention—I managed to untie my door loose and kick my impromptu door stopper away.

"Ow!" I hissed in pain as my hands fumbled around to look for a surface that would help prop myself up from my sprawled position on the floor. Something cold and metallic brushed against my hands and without thinking much about the consequences – something I was frequently guilty of lately—I pushed down on it.

I recognized it as the doorknob a second too late.

Why, I snarked to myself , was I even still surprised ?

I should've learned by now that someone up there really hated me so at this point I shouldn't have been flabbergasted at the sight that lay beyond my door.

But really? Could you blame me for shrieking when I found my face centimeters away from a fur clad butt?

((╬●∀●)

Uvogin was not having a good day.

Although to be fair, there was very rarely a good day in Meteor City so it wasn't that big of a deal to have a bad day every now and then. This day however, was just the absolute worst so far.

It started off when he and Nobunaga got into a little spat – it was mostly his own fault really, but he was just too damn ashamed to admit it—and continued on when he ran into a bunch of small fries who thought it would be a good idea to pick a fight with him. Sometimes, he would question the sanity of those foolishly daring shit-faced punks who'd challenge him but it didn't really matter in the end as he would always defeat them regardless.

Besides, if they stopped picking fights with him, he would be deathly bored!

And a bored Uvogin was worse than a regular Uvogin.

Just ask Nobunaga. He would know.

So like any other afternoon, he found himself cornered in a dark alley, far from prying eyes (a clichéd set up he was beginning to tire off, couldn't these people at least try to be a little more creative?) , surrounded by at least thirty people.

Naturally, he beat them all to a pulp with ease.

Until some punk decided it would be a good fucking idea to ram him into a trash bin that was far too small for him to fit in and made of surprisingly strong material that even he had a trouble of breaking through.

Despite the handicap, he still emerged victorious by means of rolling on them like a bulldozer while he was still in the bin.

Ridiculous. But it worked.

.

Unfortunately, half an hour later and after gloating to the empty alley about his victory, he was still stuck, rolling around like an idiot in a pitiful attempt to break free.

"Eeeeep!" A rather feminine sounding voiced shrieked from somewhere behind him and he startled, rolling back like an overturned turtle to face in what he hoped was her direction. The gap between his body and the rim of the bin didn't really leave him with much of a view.

"Hey!" He boomed at her, careful to make his voice less loud than what the norm was for him. Unfortunately, to a regular bystander it was still loud and Uvogin noticed the girl – at least based on her dainty and tiny feet—shuffle backwards from him in uncertainty. Nobunaga had warned him before about his tendency to frighten women due to his large stature and intimidating voice.

Uvogin wished he had paid more attention that lecture more than ever.

"Wait , uh, hey, don't leave!" He tried again, pitching his voice higher, reminiscent of a dying dolphin, in an attempt to appear less threatening.

A few seconds passed with only uncomfortable silence between the two of them.

"...You were supposed to at least acknowledge that with a laugh or something, " Uvogin was thankful that she couldn't see how red his ears were at the moment. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging here with just radio silence. I'm gettin' embarrassed."

"Ah," She blinked . "Haha?"

"I don't know who you are but this," He tried to gesture with his arms but ended up rolling on the dirt instead. "Never happened, got it?"

A pause, then . "…Yeah."

"Now get it off." He gruffly commanded before breathing a sigh of relief when he noted the shuffling of feet towards him.

Regrettably, life was very rarely easy and so the two quickly found themselves at an impasse.

The trash bin wouldn't budge at all no matter how much the two pushed and pulled at it and Uvogin soon found his very thin patience wearing thin.

"I-I need a break," The girl moaned in defeat, resting her body against the bin.

Uvogin was not appreciative of the slight shift in weight of the cursed piece metal. "Yeah? Well go do it somewhere else. Tsk. I swear you're as weak as an infant. How did you even survive this long?" His irritation was getting the better of him but he felt no urge to apologize for stating the truth.

He wished Nobunaga were here instead of this girl.

"Excuse me?" She bristled, and Uvogin felt her lean away from the accursed bin. "Is this the kind of thanks I'm getting?"

"Thanks are for people who actually do something you know." He growled. "All you've done is moan and groan."

"Wha- that is it!" She hissed, kicking the dirt next to him. The sound of tiny feet stomping away echoed in Uvogin's metal chamber of doom.

"Wha- Hey ! Where the hell do you think you're going?! You can't just leave me here!"

Minutes passed without any hint of the girl returning and an uncomfortable pit began to settle at the bottom of Uvogin's stomach.

He was an idiot. A big idiot.

He just let his only chance at freedom get away!

Now, he wouldn't be able to go home to Nobunaga.

Was his friend even worried about him ? Probably not. Considering their earlier spat . Why did he—

"Gaaah! W-What the hell ?!" Something soft, wet, and slimy was rubbing against the spot where his body met the mouth of the trash bin.

Needless to say, Uvogin was disgusted. While the man was not the epitome of hygiene – a rare standard in Meteor City—he still felt a certain revulsion at the sudden contact.

"Hey, stay still!" A familiar voice warned, thumping the sides of the stupid metal contraption for emphasis. "I'm trying to free you here!"

"Free me?!" Uvogin spluttered, wildly rolling around in the dirt in an attempt to shake off the sickening slime the girl was smearing onto his arms and back in a rather generous amount. Uvogin knew that he wasn't exactly known for his sanitary habits, but that didn't mean that he was appreciative of having some unknown substance coated on his person.

"Don't be so stubborn and stay still!" The girl hissed and he felt something soft, warm and disgustingly slippery slip past the hem of the bin. But before he could even let out a protest, the sight of an adorably flustered girl with red puffed out cheeks surprised him.

At that moment, Uvogin fell in love.

(*´∀`*)

"So I said, hey, maybe we shouldn't have fish for dinner! I mean, we already had fish for like what, 7 days in a row! And maybe we should have meat for once! Fish is for losers! Don't you think so, Hazuki ?" The last part was said almost adoringly and I could feel the endearment that was rolling off Uvogin in waves.

Big, violent waves.

Somebody up there must indeed hate me.

First of all, it didn't make sense for my bathroom to be a portal to a fictional series. Second , it also didn't make sense that my third encounter with the fiction was with a plot important character .

Everything lined up too neatly and conveniently.

It was as if I were a protagonist of those reincarnation light novel I love. One would argue that being dumped into another world, no matter how temporary meant ,that there was a specific reason I was there. But I didn't want to pursue that line of thinking any further at the moment and so I opted to respond to Uvogin, who was still looking at me like a love sick puppy.

A large, rabid , love sick puppy.

To be honest, it felt…odd, to be on the other end of such a stare. Flattering of course, but, still, odd.

"Fish is good for you," I said sagely, tucking a lock of stray hair behind my ear. "Too much meat can cause fat to build up in your blood vessels, which can lead to some illness like heart attacks. You should listen to your friend. He's looking out for you."

Alternatively , I could've just agreed with him and have him eat all the meat in the world for a pre-mature cardiac arrest but I didn't want to mess with canon if I could help it. If ever I did, it would be with some careful planning and manipulations—

Oh let's face it. I'm just me. I'm only book smart and not half as clever as a reincarnation protagonist should be, nor half as pretty.

I was just an average Japanese woman who wanted to survive college.

Besides, it's not like such a far-fetched plan would work that easily. It would take years for a plaque to build up in his bloodstream.

Uvogin momentarily looked at me like I had grown another head , before his face split into a grin. "Wow, Hazuki, ya sure are smart just as you are pretty! You should meet my pal Nobunaga! I'm sure you two would get alon' ! I'm glad it was you who helped me out back there!" But then a scowl crossed his features. "I'd introduce ya to 'im but we kinda…fought."

I knew I was going to regret this but I really had nothing better to do until my bathroom decided to send me home. "Um," I hesitantly looked at him from my spot on the rubble I was seated at. "I could listen to your troubles , if you'd like?"

I was instantly rewarded with a bright grin and long winded tale of a teenage spat between two future phantom troupe members. It was a long confusing story but in a nutshell, Uvogin felt like Nobunaga was nagging him too much lately, and the meat versus fish argument was the last straw. Oh and Uvogin accidentally sat on Nobunaga's precious dagger, breaking it into irreparable pieces.

How his butt was still fine after that was beyond me.

Throughout the entire conversation, I could feel Uvogin inching closer to me , and I would scoot away in response. It was amusing but even the members of the ever notorious Phantom Troupe was not immune to the wonders of teenage hormones.

But I was still scared shitless.

"Thanks Hazuki," He gave me a soft smile (Which was a shit-eating grin in Uvogin standards) and I just stared at him flatly. "That made me feel better. I think I know what we should do next!"

"Good for you." I quipped, not really paying attention, missing the glint in his eyes. "Wait, what, we?"

My heart sank into pit of my stomach.

"Yeah, we're gonna apologize to Nobu!"

"We?!" I spluttered, putting some distance between the two of us.

All I received in response was a large smile before Uvogin carted me off on his shoulders like some uncivilized Neanderthal.

Author's Note:

As this is a loving parody of Japanese Isekai Light Novels, there are some occasional jabs and references to that. Otome games (lit. maiden games) are a genre of visual novels with multipath routes/ stories where the goal is pretty much to date the guys involved. It's a common theme in isekai novels targeted towards women for women in our world to get reincarnated / transported into otome games. As is common in SI OC fics, they change canon drastically as well.

If you're unfamiliar with it, Public Baths are a thing in Japan so it's not unusual for Hazuki to go to one. They usually have vending machines and other amenities for people to enjoy their baths.

I'm so sorry that I disappeared for nearly a year. A lot of things happened to me irl and I was in a very bad place. Last year, I was in my last year of university completing my internship at different sites. It was very stressful and I had such a hard time with my life. A lot of problems piled up and I just honestly wanted to quit everything. It's no excuse but I felt like because I was always in a state of weariness and I was always sad, I couldn't fully write this fic, which was meant to be happy and light-hearted. Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I decided to finish this story.

Also, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in helping me beta future chapters?

Reviews make my day. Thanks.