"Angel... no... don't. I always wondered if you were ok. Dad pulled Sammy and me from school a week later and we moved to Iowa, so I never heard whether you'd further been bullied or not."
Cas hugged him closer, eyes now staring blankly in space.
"Bartholomew tried to corner me two weeks later... I just lost it. I was so scared, but your words came to my mind and I swung. Turned out dear old Bart had a glass jaw. He went down like a poled ox. No-one dared touch me after that."
He moved around and looked Dean straight in his eyes, blue eyes proud and determined.
"I became my own person, and helped out those who were bullied. I kept doing that until I finished college."

"Then how did a metalhead turn corporate? I swear I would never had thought you would surprise me like that." Dean wondered.
Cas chuckled low, and finally a smile formed.
"Gabriel... he'd found me this job, but he insisted I change my looks, or they wouldn't hire me. Clients are finicky, Dean. They trust me on my immaculate suit and blue tie, hardly on my skills. Should I turn up Monday, wearing this... I'd lose half my portfolio."
Dean chuckled too, imagining his metalhead sweetheart waltzing up the office, full black attire, earrings and all.
"Marley would have kittens! She'd have security on you so fast, it'd make your head spin."
Cas burst out laughing.
"Yes, she would!"

Dean hugged Cas closer.
"So, you're telling me you got inked up, just because some random kid comforted you, way back when?"
Nodding, Cas snuggled down.
"Yes. Your kind words and offer to go after any bully who'd touch me, set me free. Made me spread my wings and fly."
Tapping the chain in his lover's ear, Dean hummed.
"Never would've thought it, angel. I always thought I was unremarkable. One of the many testosterone driven, tiny God-complexed pubescent zitfaces."

Cas slapped his belly.
"Don't downtalk yourself. You were the only one who cared enough to even try and comfort a lonely, oddball of a kid."
Dean kissed the dark locks.
"Now don't you downtalk yourself either, angel... You were special. I could tell that from looking in your eyes."
He locked his green ones on Cas' blue.
"Your eyes are amazing. Beautiful, and soulfull. Caring. Like Alfie said: too much heart."

A blush crept up Castiël's face and Dean pulled him close.
"You're an angel, just like your brother said. And now you're mine..."
He chuckled as a thought struck him.
"Does that make you my guardian angel? Keeping me safe and stuff?"
Cas smiled against his neck.
"I took that task on once, and it worked out ok, so why not?"

Dean frowned at that.
"What now? When did you do that?"
Cas wriggled uncomfortably.
"If I tell you, can we take a shower after? I need to wake up and shut my mouth."
Weighing the options, Dean nodded slowly.
"Last story for now. Geez, feels like you've been around all the time, and I never noticed."
That got a chuckle and a kiss to his neck.
"Not according to Gabriel. I heard him call you out on ogling my behind."

Chuckling, Dean shook his head.
"True, but no changing the subject, angel."
It was amazing how easy the bantering was, and how they could just cuddle, without it turning into something hotter.
Cas hummed softly, unwilling to get back to said subject.
"C'mon, Cas. Tell me how you took on being my guardian angel... don't say it was before when I think we met again. I'm pretty sure my childhood was not wrought with dangerous situations."

Cas' warm breath huffed over his pects in a quiet laugh.
"No. It was just last December. I noticed how you were different, during your song. Not as animated. Your smile was a mask, not shining like it's supposed to. So, I thought it prudent to make sure you got home ok. I was about to leave, when you reappeared, duffelbag around your shoulders. When you walked off, you seemed so..."
Dean cut in, repeating what Jody had told him all those weeks back.
"...lost and heartbroken. You called it in. You got Jody to pick me up."

The whispered "Yes." was so soft, Dean nearly missed it.
"Oh, Cas. I wasn't about to kill myself. Honestly I wasn't."
Cas' eyelashes tickled as he rapidly blinked.
"Dean, you left home. You were obviously running away, in a blizzard."
Pressing a soft, consoling kiss on Cas' brow, Dean hummed.
"True, but it was all planned, months in advance. Except for the frikken blizzard. That caught me off guard. I parked Baby at Bobby's. Bobby dropped me off at West Jordon Circle, and I rode to Nomed with... her."
He noticed how he couldn't say Lisa's name, or 'home', because the house at West Jordon had never felt like home, not really.
He looked at Cas, whose eyes were moist. 'He must've been so scared. If he felt then like he does now.'

"Cas... I knew what she was. I've known since May. I wanted to bolt there and then, but Sam talked sense into me. I spent all those months preparing to get out smoothly."
Cas fretted, eyes on the hand over Dean's pect.
"But... the baby? How... how do you know it's not yours... and why did you even... if.."
Smoothing the ruffled hair of his lover, Dean thought how to put this.
He decided on blunt and simple.
"I'm very sure it is not mine. Not 100%, but I seem to be infertile or something, because we tried for ages, before... Well. And after? I could hardly stand having her touch me, but to keep the peace, I sometimes did put out. I tried to keep it risk free, you know."
He could feel Cas cringe.
"I'm sorry, angel. I'll shut up now."

Cas kissed his chest sweetly.
"I could smite her ass for hurting you so deeply."
Dean chuckled without mirth.
"She didn't, babe. She didn't."
The glare from the cerulean eyes said Cas didn't believe him.
"Dean, you can't say her name. You walked off into a blizzard for fuck's sake! The bitch hurt you, and I can't ever undo that."
Biting his lip to not let his feelings spill, Dean kissed him into silence.
"Cas... baby, Honeybee, angel... You don't have to... you're soothing the pain by just being you. Don't go there. Come... let's shower!"