Jonah, who now looked extremely concerned, most likely by my sudden behavior, sat down where he once was. Rather than sitting across from him again, I sat next to him, a slight blush creeping across my cheeks for a moment. I shook off my fear and sighed.
"Jonah... What's wrong..?" I asked once again, placing my hand on top of his and making my eyes meet his. His eyes, like my own, looked to be slightly teary. He sighed and tried to smile at me, though it was totally transparent to me. I could see every bit of pain in his beautiful, sad eyes.
"Cyrus... Why can't I do anything right..? I couldn't be Andi's friend right, and now I can't be her... Whatever we are." He whispered, his voice breaking slightly when he said it. I swallowed my pain and nodded.
"Yeah, she, uh... She's hard to please. Sometimes it feels like she can't be soothed, and a lot of things set her off... I promise, it's not you, she does it to everyone." I assured him, giving his hand a light squeeze. This caused a shadow of a smile to appear across his face, but I wasn't sure if it was because of me holding his hand or me reassuring him.
"Thanks, Cy. You're a good friend." He said, his voice containing a small bit of cheer. I felt him turn his hand over and his fingers lace with mine for a moment, causing me to blush. He chuckled and pulled his hand back.
"What was that for..?" I asked, a bit confused. He chuckled again, looking back at me.
"I was just seeing if holding hands was the same with everyone. It isn't. See... With Amber and Andi, it feels like I have to be gentle, like the slightest thing can hurt them. But with you, Cyrus... It doesn't feel like that. It feels... Like I can be myself." Jonah smiled at me, which, combined with those words, made me feel like I was on air... But I still didn't quite understand. What did he, Jonah Beck, mean by that?
"Jonah..?" I whispered, my heart overruling my mind. I could feel my hands begin to shake and my heart begin to pound. When he looked at me, it took everything in me to not just pass out right there in the booth. I could tell he was waiting for me to finish, so I swallowed hard and sighed.
"What did you mean when you said it feels like I can be myself?" I asked, feeling foolish for my impulsiveness. I could see Jonah's eyebrows furrowing slightly as he thought about the question. Right as I was about to lower my head, he spoke.
"I dunno, Cy... I guess it means that I feel comfortable with you. With the girls, I feel really forced and obligated... But with you, I feel like I can do whatever I want. In a way, it's almost like you're my freedom or something... Like... Like I don't feel so much pressure to be some perfect person with you..." It was the first time I had ever seen Jonah like this. Normally, I saw him as a happy-go-lucky, carefree person, but this Jonah seemed... Afraid. I opened my mouth to speak, but rather than offering a response to his problem, I was shocked to find myself pressing my lips to his. A moment later, I pulled away, and upon seeing his shocked expression, my eyes filled with tears and I quickly grabbed my things.
"Ishouldreallygetgoing..!" I called out behind me as I hurried out of the building and towards my home. When I finally got to my room, all I could think was one thing.
I just kissed Jonah Beck... What am I gonna do..?