Clarke startled awake, her chest rising and falling as she tried to regain control of her breathing. It all felt so real. All their hands... She cast aside the fading details of her dream and slowly sat up. A shiver passed through her when the blanket dropped slightly. She pulled the covers back up over her shoulder and brought her knees to her chest. Will these nightmares always haunt me? Is this my punishment?
Clarke reached out for the Commander's sword from where she discarded it before sleeping. She ran her fingers across the bent steel, feeling the grooves and coarseness in the metal. What had once been a fine, strong weapon was now only an ornament, a shadow of what it once was. Clarke laughed sardonically to herself. I never thought I'd be comparing myself to a sword.
Voices outside of her room caught Clarke's attention and she set the sword down next to her. Gathering her blankets around her, she stepped off the bed and crept towards her door. The voices were getting stronger, and she could distinctly make out the voices of Niylah and the Ice Queen. How long was I out? She felt as though she slept for a good while, but if Niylah and Queen Nia were still talking it couldn't have been that long.
"Here we are, a room close to Clarke like you asked for. It really is good to have you back, Niylah," Clarke could hear the Ice Queen state. While the voices weren't the loudest, pressing herself up against the door allowed her to hear well enough. "I have missed you greatly." Is Nia like this with everyone?
"And I as well, though I don't understand why you enjoy this language so much. Clarke is sleeping, we can talk in our own tongue," Niylah answered. Clarke could hear them stop down the hall from her door, though they sounded like they were on the other side of the hallway. "What you have told me... it is concerning. I don't know if I like it."
The Queen laughed and Clarke loved the sweetness to it. "You never were one to appreciate the power of language, but if you insist, we will talk in our tongue," the Queen replied. "As to the plan, it is ... and it will work, dear. What don't you like about it?" Clarke understood for the most part what was being said, but there were some things she missed and at that moment she wished her Trigedasleng was more fluent. What will work? Questions upon questions poured through Clarke's mind as she listened, pressing against the door to hear every word she could.
"What you are planning is... quite ambitious," Niylah answered after a short pause. "Even for you, this is quite an undertaking."
Clarke could almost feel the energy change without a word being uttered. There was almost an electricity in the air, drowning out the light-heartedness that existed just moments ago. "When your mother... killed fighting against Lexa and her coalition... tore me apart. I loved her, truly," Nia said. How close are they? Clarke thought, pressing against the door trying to pick up all she hadn't told her any of this."To this day, ... of your brother's warm smile, running around all over the place. Then the Mountain Men came... destroyed that." Clarke cursed at her inability to catch everything they were saying.
"I do not like to think of him." Niylah's voice was thick with pain and Clarke could tell the subject was sensitive for the woman. She appreciated that Niylah trusted her enough to share her brother's story.
"I remember everything that's happened to my people, my family because of Lexa," Nia hissed. Gone was the sweet tones that Clarke remembered from their first meeting, replaced instead with words coated in venom. "She hurt my family by... your mother, my sister. Blood must have blood, that is our way. Finally I was... vengeance at the Mountain, and Lexa insulted us all. Their blood was ours to have, and she bowed to them." Clarke's world spun slightly as her eyes widened. Niylah is the Queen's niece? What the hell is going on here? She heard the Queen sigh and let out a low hum. "Forgive me, I lost my temper. You know my motivations, more than anyone."
There was a long pause and she heard Niylah sigh as well. "What if things don't go according to plan?" Clarke was thankful for the return to her own tongue, though she wished she had caught all of the information the two were saying.
"We have Wanheda. One way or another, I will accomplish my goals," Nia stated.
Clarke heard some footsteps walk past her door and Niylah's voice down the hall was drowned out. Seconds later more footsteps sounded outside and a door closed across the way from her own. They must have said their goodbyes, she realized. Easing away from the door, she retreated to the safety and warmth of the bed. The Queen is Niylah's aunt. Why didn't she tell me? Nia seemed to have had a hatred for the Commander and seemed to have a plan in place to do something about it. She wasn't sure what to make of what she had heard. She didn't know what Wanheda was, but the Queen seemed very confident that it would help her.
A long, drawn out yawn escaped from Clarke and she eased herself back down to the bed. Something isn't right here. I need to know what is going on, she thought as she rested her head down on her pillow. She stared over at the Commander's sword laying on the ground. Even through her worry, Clarke couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight. Looks like I'm not the only one who wants you dead. Unable to put off sleep any longer, she closed her eyes and waited for the morning to come, and hopefully with it some answers.
Clarke woke some time much later as she felt more refreshed than when she woke earlier. She stretched out her arms and let out a small yawn. The words spoken between Nia and Niylah still echoed in the back of her mind. I still can't believe they're related. That whole conversation felt off to her, though she couldn't place it. I can trust Niylah... or at least I think I can. I'm not sure about Nia. She had too many questions and wasn't sure how to get them answered. That conversation was not meant for her ears and she didn't know if bringing it up would be the best move.
Clarke's thought trailed off as she picked up the scent of freshly cooked food in the air. Smells of cinnamon and something sweet made her mouth water and her stomach grumbled. Grabbing her boots she headed for the door. She stopped when her hand gripped the handle. Looking back into the room, she located hers and the Commander's sword laying on the ground. Some spare cloth lay on a nearby table so she grabbed it and moved over to her swords. Unfolding the maroon fabric, she gently placed the bent steel of the Commander's sword onto the surface. She traced her finger along the center of the blade all the way to the tip, feeling the roughness and jaggedness of the steel.
The rapid beating of her heart, standing there next to the Commander. Their chests both rose and fell in rhythm, terrified they would be dead in the next moment. The groan of metal filled the air as the beast on the outside tried to batter its way in. The sword keeping them both alive began to groan and break. The metal material wouldn't last much longer and she knew what needed to be done. She dared to take one last look at the Commander by her side, still strong and beautiful despite the pain she was in. Fear gave way to desperation and every part of her wanted to reach out and express herself to the woman who had come to mean so much to her, though she didn't know why. Another vicious strike to the door stole that moment and she tore the sword from its place, letting the beast in and saving them both.
A grumble in Clarke's stomach shook her out of her memories. I hate you. Tears in her eyes she hastily wrapped the cloth around the sword and fastened it to the sling that held her own weapon. Time for some food, she thought, drying her eyes as she slung her holster over her shoulder and heading out the door.
Immediately Clarke was met by the laughter of children and the sounds of their little feet running about the place. Two young boys darted down the hallway, one nearly bumping into her as they chased each other. She couldn't help but smile at the sight. It felt good to watch two people so young and without a care in the world having fun. It gave her hope.
The sound of birds filled the air and Clarke felt a sense of dread about her. "You killed some just like them at the Mountain."
Clarke spun around and saw Samael standing right in front of her. She nearly had a heart attack from the surprise, but the feeling quickly turned to anger. Why did he have to remind me? "Go away," she whispered to herself as she walked. The hallway was empty, though she prayed nobody would come and see them together. She felt the coldness of his hands touching her shoulder and she shuddered. Please make him go away.
"Very well," Samael replied. "Stay safe, Clarke. We mustn't endanger our mission."
Clarke opened her mouth to scold him again but when she turned around he had disappeared. I hate him, she thought. He always seemed to be ruining her good moods. Sighing to herself, she resumed walking towards the smell of food at the end of the hall. When she reached the double doors at the end, she pulled them open. She was unsurprised to see Niylah and Nia already at the table in the center of the room.
Queen Nia was the first to raise her head. "Clarke! You look much better than when you arrived. Please, have a seat!" The Queen rose from her own chair and pulled out one for Clarke to sit next to her.
"Thanks," Clarke said as she reluctantly took the offered seat. Just as she sat down the two young boys she saw playing earlier burst into the room and ran up to the Queen and started giggling. Clarke looked around the room to see if any of the guards were moving, but they stayed in place.
"Plana, Plana!" They shouted as they reached her and wrapped their small arms around Nia's waist.
Clarke watched Nia reach down and scoop the two small boys up into her arms. "And what are you two young ones doing here?" Nia asked lightheartedly, a huge smile on her face. A far cry from the harshness in her tone last night, Clarke thought to herself. "Did you come to pay our guest a visit?"
The two boys looked to her then pointed to her. "She Wanheda!" they exclaimed with wide eyes and slack jaws. There's that Wanheda again. What does it mean? Why am I Wanheda? Clarke was tired of not knowing things.
"That she is," Nia cooed to the boys. "You must tell me about the adventures you two have been on today." Nia turned to Clarke and mouthed that she would be right back and then walked off with the two children.
"You seem confused," Niylah said, gaining Clarke's attention. The woman was garbed in much more relaxed clothing and wore her hair down instead of her usual braids. Clarke thought she looked beautiful.
"Are they... hers?" Clarke wondered. She had heard multiple children when she exited her room earlier. Are they all hers? Why else would they be in here?
Niylah laughed and shook her head. "No, they are not. Children of the village are moved here until they are strong enough to survive the elements. Those two are her favorites." Niylah finished the rest of the food on her plate and then pushed it away. "She does have a son, Roan, though he has not been around for a while."
Time to get some info. "Your cousin?" Clarke ventured. The drop inNiylah's face the second the words left her mouth was all the confirmation she needed. "Why didn't you tell me she was your aunt?"
"You were awake last night..." Niylah realized. She got up from her spot at the table and walked around to sit next to Clarke. "I am sorry for not telling you. I was afraid of what you might think of me if you knew. The reputation of our people outside of our borders is... harsh, the Queen especially." Niylah placed her hands over one of Clarke's. "I wanted you to know that I was someone who wanted to help, someone to trust, not the niece of the Ice Queen."
Clarke wrestled with the information. She so desperately wanted to lash out at Niylah for hiding this info, for doubting her ability to form her own opinions. Too many times she had been betrayed by people she trusted. I'm just so tired of it. Deep inside she knew that Niylah was right. If she had known about all of it from the beginning she wouldn't have trusted the woman one bit. "Okay," she reluctantly replied. At this point, Niylah had done enough to let it go for now. "Just tell me one thing. What does Wanheda mean?"
Niylah paused for a good moment, and Clarke thought her question wasn't going to be answered. She was about to get up and walk away when Niylah finally answered. "It means The Commander of Death."
Clarke felt sick to her stomach, the blood draining a bit from her face. "The Commander of Death?" she balked, placing a steadying hand on the table. "Why did that child call me that?"
"After you took down the Mountain, many were impressed by your actions," Niylah replied. "Word spread of what you have done since you fell from the sky, and they started to hail you as Wanheda."
Now I understand whatNia meant last night. "Last night, your talk with the Queen. She wants to kill Lexa. She wants my help doing it." Her hand twitched slightly, the memories from earlier clawing back to the surface.
Niylah stared at her for a long time, a frown on her face and a sadness in her eyes. "Yes," she finally said, nodding her head. "If her plan does not work, she will need your help. But it will not come to that, her plan is solid. It's what we discussed last night."
Clarke stared at the wood on the table, trying to contain the rage and pain within. I hate feeling like this. Children think I control death because of the Commander. Everything she had thought that she was had now been destroyed. Fists clenched, she turned to Niylah with fire in her eyes. "And if I want to help anyways?" she spoke, her voice low and marred by pain.
"Then I would welcome you with open arms, Klark kom Skaikru." Clarke turned to see Nia standing behind her, the children absent from her arms. Gone was the loving, motherly smile that she had just seen. Instead she stood before Clarke, a figure of terrifying grace and reverence. "I had hoped to talk to you about it only when necessary, but it seems like you now know everything."
Clarke felt small and weak before the Queen, though the fire inside of her refused to show it. "I only know what you talked about outside my door last night," she said.
The Queen made her way over and sat next to Clarke. "Niylah has told me a great deal about you. You intrigue me. It is good to know you are willing to help us. When the time comes, I will fill you in on your role. Right now, I want you to enjoy your time here. The Heda has made you suffer enough." The Queen grabbed several items of food on the table and piled them on a plate she grabbed near her, setting it in front of Clarke. "Please, eat. When you are done, I would like to personally tour the city with you and teach you about my people."
The chance to walk around and see the beauty of the city and forget about the past sounded like a good deal to Clarke, though she was still weary of the Queen. Niylah had earned her trust, Nia had not reached that just yet. "I would like that as well," Clarke said, grabbing the plate.
Nia smiled. "Then I will meet with you shortly." The Queen gently placed a hand on Clarke's shoulder before standing up and leaving, a few guards following her.
Once alone, Clarke looked over to Niylah. "Anything else I should know? Any other secrets you've been keeping from me or wanting to tell me?"
"I had a lover once," Niylah replied quietly. "Orion. He left, overcome with grief when the Mountain Men took and killed his family. He was an amazing fighter, and an even better man." Niylah paused and Clarke thought she saw tears in the woman's eyes. "I haven't talked about him in a long time, though that is all I wish to share. I just want you to know that you can trust me, and I trust you. Whatever happened between us at the camp, just know I did not mean to do any harm. We were both lonely and needed someone."
Clarke felt honored that Niylah shared something that clearly pained her to talk about, and also relieved that she felt the same about their hookup. "Would you come with me?" she asked. She did not want to be alone with the Queen just yet. More time was needed to build up trust, and she felt calmer around Niylah.
"Of course," Niylah replied. "I know a place where we can get that fixed, should you want to," she said, pointing to the Commander's sword. "A bent sword is of no use to anyone."
Clarke nodded and turned to the food in front of her. No, she thought. I suppose it isn't.
Clarke walked out of the Ice Queen's dwelling several minutes later with a full stomach and Niylah at her side. Nia stood waiting patiently for them at the stables. Looking out to the view below, Clarke could still see the bonfires burning brightly. She was still taken aback by the beauty of it all, how the ice and snow, combined with the fires just made the place feel alive.
"Where would you like to go first, Clarke?" Nia asked once Clarke and Niylah reached her. "Or perhaps you have some questions about my people?"
Clarke paused and thought back to the group of elderly men and women she saw when she first entered. It's as good a start as any. "When I first came here, there was a large group of older men and women with spears. They appeared to be heading out, does everyone contribute like that?"
"In a sense, yes, though what you saw was quite different," Nia explained. "You have come to us in a much more fortunate time. The weather is not as cold and food is available enough for our needs. It is not always like this." The Queen grew silent for a moment, staring out over her kingdom. Clarke saw a sadness in the woman's eyes as she looked everywhere. "My people suffer, Clarke. We are a rough people, this is true. We must be, or we will not survive. Contribute or die, that is our way."
Nia looked back to her home, lips pressed tightly and eyes staring off into the distance. "The children, our children, suffer the most. I do what I can... but it is never enough. Every winter is the same: too few of them survive."
Clarke brought her hands to her mouth. She could feel the pain radiating off of the Queen. Every year? I couldn't imagine going through that. "Surely if the Commander knew about your situation she w-..."
"The terms of the Coalition are clear, Clarke," Nia cut her off. Clarke detected a bit of heat behind the words, but Nia quickly caught herself and took a deep breath. "Forgive me, I forget you do not know all the terms. Each clan was given lands that are theirs and they cannot expand them without war. The only way we get more land is getting colder up north or dying in the Dead Zone."
"That's why you want to kill her," Clarke realized. It made sense, if they couldn't move to warmer climates and were suffering because of it, she couldn't blame the Queen. She looked to Niylah and saw the same sadness plastered on her face.
"For the most part," Nia answered. "But to answer your original question, what you saw was something different. Born of necessity. When the dark of winter comes, sacrifices must be made. Food becomes scarce, and not every mouth can be fed. The Children of Winter, we call them." Nia started walking down into the city and motioned for Clarke and Niylah to follow. "Contribute or die, I told you this is our way. To them, it is their code when winter comes. They go to farther and more dangerous places than our own hunters, looking for food. They bring back food, or they never return and their shares are given to others. Contribute or die."
"That's... horrible!" Clarke couldn't fathom the thought. All those people I saw leaving... "You send them out to die?"
Nia stopped and bowed her head low. "I do not force them into service, if that is what you are asking. They volunteer. Every single one. Men and women, children and the elderly. They feel a need to provide for their clan, their family. I cannot deny them that honor."
Clarke's heart fell heavy. These people suffer so much. All the awful things said about them, how many actually know how they live? What they go through? "I'm sorry that you and your people have to suffer like this. It isn't right."
"I appreciate that, Clarke. But life is seldom fair." The Queen took several quick, short breaths before exhaling deeply. Nia clapped her hands and turned around. "I'm sorry, I didn't bring you here to be sad. We are here to view the beauty of our city. Let us go explore it."
Clarke respected the Queen's change of topic and fell in line. Niylah spoke up behind her. "I promised Clarke that I would take her to see Emmet. Perhaps that can be our last stop?"
Nia raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Fair enough. Now come, Klark kom Skaikru. We have much of the Azgeda to show you."
Clarke exited the blacksmith's tent with Niylah, feeling a slight anxiety at being separated from the Commander's sword again. The Queen had left to go back to her home, Niylah promising to walk Clarke back when she was ready. The blacksmith had been surprised, but very eager, to be working on the Commander's sword. Niylah had made it very clear to him to make it his best work, though Clarke hardly thought it necessary. She just needed it to be sharp.
"What do you think of our people, now that you have seen us through your own eyes?" Niylah asked as they walked through the pathways between tents.
"I think you are a greatly misunderstood and are beautiful people. I see why everyone thinks the Azgeda are ruthless; you have to be to survive," Clarke replied. She felt all around her the hardship these people had been through, but also saw an unbreakable community that had formed because of it. It was amazing for her to see.
"Listen, Clarke..." Niylah said. "I know you have a hatred for the Commander for the events at the Mountain, but you do not need to help in this. My aunt is very resourceful and cunning, she has a great plan in place." She paused to pace back and forth and Clarke watched her the entire time. "You have come a long way since I pulled you out of that Mountain, but you do not need to jump into war because of your hatred for the Heda."
I won't let her talk me out of this. "I've made my choice, Niylah. She needs to pay for what she did. Jus drein, jus daun." Thinking of the Commander's betrayal again brought up her anger that so far had been dormant.
"Clarke, I-"
"WAN OP, WANHEDA!"
Clarke heard the scream and before she could react a sharp pain erupted in her back. She staggered forward from a force behind her and fell to her knees. Chaos erupted around her and she heard the clashing of swords and someone calling out her name. Reaching her shaking hand to the spot where she felt the pain, she felt an object protruding out of her skin. Pulling at it wrenched it free from her body and sent another wave of pain through her. Bringing the object into view, she saw a bloody knife in her hands. I've been stabbed, she thought in shock. She heard Niylah screaming her name as she fell down, her body going into shock. The last image she remembered before all went black was Niylah's face in front of hers, tears flowing down like raindrops from the sky.