A/N: Thank you again to all of you who have been giving a follow/favorite/review to this story. It means a lot to me to see that you all are enjoying the story I'm creating and that it's something yo uenjoy. It really does mean a lot. For those of you who have stuck around the slow start, get ready. Things are really heating up, and there's no stop in sight. Enjoy!
Raven stepped down from her stool, hissing as she did so. "Okay Sinclair, give her a whirl," she called out, ducking her head to hide the grimace on her face. She rested a hand on her injured hip absentmindedly to try and provide some futile comfort for her pain. Ever since she began working with her leg brace on, Raven had noticed pain beginning to build up in her hip. Pride and fear of being kept from what she loved to do had kept her away from Abby. And I've paid the price, she thought bitterly.
The all too familiar hum of machines coming online brought a smile to her face. "Looks like it worked, Raven," Sinclair called out. "Signal strength looks good. Not bad for a ZERO-G mechanic."
"Of course it's good. I fixed it," Raven threw back, putting on a fake smile. While working on machines and tech still took her mind off of the pain, her desire for camaraderie had greatly dwindled. She looked up at the communications tower she just got running and felt a sense of accomplishment. I'm still useful to someone, she thought. I'm not letting some pain stop me.
"I'll be impressed when you can fix it down the road with a paper clip and a stick of gum," Sinclair fired back, a huge grin on his face. "But seriously, good work, Raven." She watched her mentor pack up his things and let out a small sigh. "I have to go check on the others. Hopefully they haven't destroyed everything while I was gone." He tossed her a towel and she reached out and grabbed it with her dirt stained hands. "We have no more work orders so you have the rest of the day to yourself. Enjoy it, Raven."
Raven groaned as she wiped her hands off with the towel. She hated not having something to do, something to fix. Being active is being useful. With her stomach grumbling, she braced herself for the pain and stood up. Guess I can get some chow before getting back to work. Taking a steadying breath, she slowly made her way to the mess hall.
Walking for her was painful, though nothing outside of her tolerance. There were plenty of jobs assigned to her that she could do sitting down, though those were her least favorite, and that allowed her to get through the day. Days like today caused her the most pain, when she had to go up and down ladders or steps repeatedly. Every time it felt like someone took a knife to her side and jammed it in there, and it only got worse the more she did it. Still, she put on a mask and ground through it. She would be damned if she let them see her weak. Nobody gets to see me quit.
Reaching the mess hall, she took a minute to lean against a wall to lessen the pressure on her leg. A sigh escaped her lips with the relief she felt as she gently rubbed the ailing are a of her hip. Inside, several people were gathered together and eating joyfully. Ever since Pike had been elected, relations with the Grounders had plummeted, though many in camp were happy with that. Pike had a tough stance against the Grounders and had been giving push-back against them to secure more resources for Arkadia. They all look so happy, she bitterly thought, pressing against her hip harder. Pike's strategy may look great to you now, but wait until the Grounders come marching. She shook her head and entered the mess hall.
Raven ignored all the people around her and made straight for the food line. She would rather not have to deal with the mess hall at all, but getting food and walking back to her room would only cause her more pain. Instead, she settled for her usual spot in the corner. The line went relatively smooth and in a few minutes Raven was making her way over to her table. Once she was sitting down, she removed her leg brace got herself comfortable. She had just lifted the spoon with her first bite on it when she saw Abby walking towards her. Damnit, what now?
"Done with the comm tower already?" Abby asked, taking a seat opposite of Raven when she reached the table.
Raven ignored the question at first to eat her food, and slightly hoping that Abby would get up and walk away. When she didn't, a deep, long sigh escaped her lips. "It was no big deal, something I can do in my sleep." Her good leg bounced up and down slightly as she reached for her next bite of food. The way Abby was looking at her made Raven anxious. She's been trying to get me pulled off of the heavier work detail for a while now. I can't let her know how bad it is. "Is this a visit from my friend, or from my doctor?"
"Both," Abby replied curtly. "I'm worried about you, Raven. You may put on a mask for other people but I can see how much pain you're in." She watched as the older woman scooted closer to her, sliding into the seat next to Raven. "Why do you make yourself suffer?"
"Because I don't need anyone's pity!" Raven exclaimed, much louder than she intended and slamming her fist into the table. "They already treat me like I'm broken because of my leg," she continued in a much more hushed tone. "I don't want them looking at me like I'm shattered as well." Why can't she just leave me alone?
"Then I have good news for you," Abby replied, a smirk on her face. "I finally got a chance to go over the medical equipment at Mount Weather. Raven, I can fix your pain."
Raven's jaw slacked slightly and her hand fell to her hip. "Gone?" she gasped, no other words coming to her. Ever since she had been shot in the dropship all she had known was pain. The chance for it to be gone was one she couldn't pass up. It almost sounds too good to be true.
"For the most part," Abby said, placing her hands over Raven's. "It won't bring feeling back to your whole leg, but I think I can heal some of it. You'll still have discomfort, but it won't be nearly as bad as it is now, and you'll be less reliant on that brace."
Raven felt tears forming in her eyes but she bit down on her cheek to pass the feeling. I am not crying. Not now. "I.. I don't know what to say, Abby. Thank you." It all sounded so pathetic compared to what her friend was offering to do. She couldn't thank her enough. "When do we leave? Is Pike okay with this?"
"Pike wants Mount Weather for our own use," Abby explained. "I may not like the man, but this is something we can agree on. It has the potential to do so much good and I think we can start with you." Abby tapped her hands on the table and smiled at Raven. "If you're in then pack a bag to get ready. We'll head out as soon as you say so."
Raven watched Abby get up and leave, contemplating what this all meant to her. Her hand still rested at her hip. She's really going to fix me, Raven thought. She would never be able to thank the doctor enough for this. Standing up, she felt a twinge of pain in her hip and grimaced slightly. She stood still for a couple of moments until the pain subsided. Once she was confident enough, she began walking out of the mess hall. When she stepped out into the grounds of Arkadia and felt the sun shining on her face, for the first time in a while Raven had a genuine smile on her face, and it felt wonderful. She finally felt free.
Clarke slowly opened her eyes, groaning as she did. Not quite understanding where she was, she hoisted herself up and felt a surge of pain in her around her shoulder blade. At first she questioned why it hurt and then it all came crashing back to her. I was walking with Niylah... there was a scream and then... I was stabbed. She reached her hand to her back and yelped when someone grabbed her wrist.
"I wouldn't do that," a soft voice called out beside her.
Clarke immediately recognized who was speaking. "Niylah," she called out as she lay back down. Even though she knew the general sense of what happened, she still didn't know anything or how she was still alive. "What happened? I remember was you... screaming my name." Clarke's vision hadn't fully came to focus yet and when she didn't hear a response from Niylah immediately, she rubbed her eyes and looked over to the woman. Instead of calm and collected like Clarke had come to known, Niylah was fretting, fingers pressed to her lips, and staring off into a random corner in the room. "Niylah, what's wrong?"
"This is all my fault," Niylah replied faintly, her voice raw and shaking.
Clarke cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "What's your fault? Me getting attacked? You couldn't have known," Clarke offered, reaching out with her right hand to Niylah, wincing as she felt her wound pull. Her eyes widened when Niylah snatched her hand away and jolted up from her chair.
"No, Clarke, you don't get it!" Niylah exclaimed, shaking her head. "I brought you here because I thought you would be safe. I thought my Queen would keep you safe. Instead, I lead you right into danger." Clarke wanted to speak, but she felt that Niylah had more to say and kept quiet. Whatever was going on had been eating at the woman for a while judging by the tight lines on her face and her clenched fists. "I was naive to think that you'd be safe with my people, or any of the clans. No, you're only safe with Skaikru."
Clarke cocked her head and eased herself into a sitting position, ignoring the tug from her wound. "Niylah, what aren't you telling me? Where is this all coming from?" She's never like this. I've never seen her so distraught.
Clarke found herself further confused when Niylah started laughing. "Do you even know what Wanheda really means, Clarke?" the woman asked, ice in her voice. The woman didn't give her a chance to respond. "The Commander of Death. It's not just a title, Clarke. Each of the twelve clans believe that you take the power from the ones you kill. You kill the Commander of Death..."
"You rule death," Clarke uttered breathlessly. The words the Grounder spoke when he attacked her came storming back and she finally understood. He wanted to kill me for power. The conversation between Nia and Niylah also came back to her. "The Queen talked about Wanheda. Said that she would accomplish her goals one way or another. She's going to kill me!" Clarke tossed off the blanket covering her and swept her leg over the side. Niylah's firm hands reaching out and grabbing her was the only thing keeping Clarke from escaping.
"Yes, she will," Niylah admitted, dropping to her knees before Clarke. "I hoped that she would not. That she would see you as an ally and keep you safe from those who would take your life without a second thought." Niylah dropped her arms and looked straight up at Clarke. "If her primary plan fails she will kill you. I was never going to let it come to that and began planning an escape for you." Niylah shook her head and rose to her feet. "You being attacked and another development has pushed up that timeline."
"You're helping me escape?" Clarke asked. This is all so much to hear. Nia seemed so... genuine, caring. How could someone like that be so cold? "Was any of this real? What the Queen showed me? Was it all some ploy to get me to stay?"
Niylah shook her head. "What she showed you and talked about was real. Make no mistake, Clarke. We are a proud people. Nia most of all. Sometimes you go to extreme lengths to protect those you care about." A sigh escaped Niylah's lips and her shoulders sagged slightly. "I care about you, Clarke. What we... shared... I understand that it was a onetime thing, but I consider you my friend and I won't let Nia bring you any harm. By nightfall you will be well on your way back to your people."
Clarke reached her hand out for Niylah and stepped off the bed, wrapping her arms around her. "Thank you," Clarke uttered, overwhelmed with everything that was going on. This is all so much, Clarke thought. Trusting Niylah was the right thing, despite how hard it was. Niylah has been a good friend to me, multiple times. I'd have ended up dead without her, multiple times. "I wouldn't be where I am without you."
"You don't have to thank me," Niylah replied. "You were strong enough on your own." Niylah turned around and grabbed an object from the corner of the room. "A gift. I got it while you were asleep," she said, handing the gift to Clarke.
Taking it into her hands, Clarke's eyes lilt up when she realized that it was the Commander's sword, though with a sheath as well. Gingerly pulling the blade out, she was amazed to find it completely straight and extremely polished, almost gleaming in the low light of the room. "I almost forgot about it," Clarke uttered. "It looks better than I remember."
"I let my friend know how important it was to do a good job on it," Niylah replied, her face lifting up slightly.
"I appreciate it," Clarke said, sheathing the sword and putting it aside on the bed. "So, what's the plan for escape?"
Instead of opening up like Clarke expected, Niylah instead shut down about it. "The less you know, the better at this point. You will just have to trust me." Clarke didn't like it one bit, but Niylah's stern face showed no signs of relenting. "If you're ready, the Queen has called a gathering to address what happened."
Clarke froze for a moment and her eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I do that? She wants to kill me!" Facing the Queen after what she had llearned terrified Clarke. Just when I was feeling sympathy for her, I find out she was using me. Regardless if they wanted to kill the same person, Clarke wanted as much distance from the Azgeda as she could get.
"Like I said," Niylah replied, tossing Clarke a coat. "You'll have to trust me. Grab your things, it should be starting soon."
Raven woke up to bright lights and stone walls around her. A lightweight silken sheet covered her body and slipped down as she stirred from her sleep. Her head spun slightly, she felt a little nauseous and her leg felt stiff. Mount Weather... she remembered. Abby... surgery. Her eyes widened and threw swept the blanket off of her, looking down at her hip. Through the fabric hospital gown she was wearing Raven saw some heavy bandages covering her hip and saw a faint amount of blood showing through them.
"You did good, Raven," Abby's voice called out from beside her, causing Raven to jump slightly.
"Shit, Abby. You scared me." Nausea beginning to overwhelm her, Raven laid her head back down onto the bed. "Did it work?" Raven asked tentatively, fingers digging into the bed as she looked off into a corner of the room.
"Well the surgery took longer than I anticipated, but yes; I think it did," Abby replied, walking around the bed to talk to Raven face to face. "Once the pain from the surgery and recovery wears off you should only have minimal discomfort from your hip." She gave Raven's leg a slight rub then moved to the end of the bed and pulled out a small needle. "Let's see how your leg is doing. Let's start with where we know you felt before."
Raven felt a small prick and curled her toes slightly. A gasp escaped her mouth and tears formed in her eyes as she nodded yes. She did it!
Abby shifted the needle lower and prodded again. "Here?"
Raven nodded again. I can't believe it, she thought and she let out a relieved laugh through her tears. She watched Abby move lower again and prod her with the needle. This time she barely felt anything and began to panic. "Abby. Abby I didn't feel that like the others," she said, heart rate beginning to increase. I'm still broken.
"But you felt it?" Abby asked calmly. When Raven nodded, Abby smiled back. "That's to be expected. You don't have full control, but you will have some feeling. What about here?" Abby poked around her ankle and once again she felt the faint twinge from the needle.
"Barely," Raven said. I moved my toes, though. Focusing, Raven tried wiggling her toes and saw them just barely move. Seeing the motion brought the hugest smile to her face, but also put pit in her soul. I'll never be the same, she lamented. Enough depression, Reyes. You've suffered enough. Be happy just this once. She was extremely grateful for what Abby had done for her, and seeing the restored control she had lifted her spirits.
"Well, you won't be a ballerina but you should be able to do your job as if you never had the injury in the first place," Abby said, drawing the blanket back over Raven. "We'll keep you here for a couple of days to heal and light duty for a few weeks then you'll be good to go. I'm serious about that as well. We do this right or you'll damage it again and we don't have unlimited supplies to keep doing surgeries."
As if I never had the injury, Raven replayed in her mind. "Thank you, Abby," Raven's voice broke, unable to control her emotions anymore. I won't be worthless anymore.
"No, thank you Raven, for letting me help you," Abby said. A crashing sound from outside caught their attention and Abby walked over to the door to medical to look through the window. Raven watched as the older woman immediately brought her hand to her mouth and staggered.
"Abby, what's happening?" Raven called out, propping herself up on her elbow to try and see through the window.
Abby slammed the door's lock shut, ran to the other door, and locked it too. Raven's heart began beating faster as she heard the raggedness in Abby's breath. "We're being attacked," Abby dazedly said.
What?! Raven's heart dropped. She knew there had been tensions over Mount Weather, but she thought the Grounders had been letting them use the facility for supplies and a hospital. "Abby, who is attacking? Is it Ice Nation?" Pike had told them all about the ruthlessness of the northern clan. He warned them something like this could happen but they had ignored it.
Raven's heart sunk deeper when Abby's head shook. "Trikru," she muttered. "The Trikru are attacking."
The sun began to set as Clarke sat next to Niylah on the hill leading up to the Queen's castle, looking down at Nia addressing the rest of the Azgeda. Her skin crawled just being there, listening to the woman talk about Clarke being a guest and how she should be treated as such. Had it not been for Niylah's presence, Clarke would have tried to run off right at that moment.
"We must make an example of this man, to let him know that he cannot attack a guest of mine and go unpunished," Nia's voice boomed in Trigedasleng. Clarke was able to pick up most of it, though she filled in some gaps on her own. The Queen turned and faced Clarke, pointing towards her. "Wanheda!" she called out in English. "This man attempted to take your life. What is your judgment?"
Clarke froze, completely caught off guard. Her first reaction was to look at Niylah, who gave her a quick squeeze on the arm and nodded her head. Clarke shakily stood up, bringing her hands together at her stomach. She knew what needed to be done, what was expected of her. Jus drein, jus daun. That was the Grounder way, but she was so tired of all the death surrounding her. She only wanted to take one more life, and it wasn't this man's. I can't look weak to the Queen. She'll walk all over me if I don't and then I'll never leave, she thought. "Jus drein, jus daun," Clarke called out, trying to mask the shudder in her voice as she spoke the words.
Nia smiled and turned around to face the crowd. "Wanheda has chosen death to this man who would attack a guest. We shall honor the way of the Heda and death will be by one hundred cuts." The crowd below roared in approval and a large cleared, revealing a pole that someone had erected.
Memories of Finn and Raven tied up on similar structures flashed before Clarke's eyes and she averted her gaze, easing herself back down to the ground. "I don't want to see this," Clarke whispered to Niylah.
"I'll be right back," Niylah said, patting Clarke on the arm and getting up to walk down to the Queen. She watched every movement and the two discussed for a whort while before the Queen looked directly at her and nodded. A few moments later Niylah was back in front of her with her hand held out. "I told her you still need to rest and she agreed. I'm to escort you back to your room in the castle."
Clarke nodded and took Niylah's hand to stand up. She looked down once more to the crowd and paused. Off in the distance, at the very edge of the group stood Samael, staring directly at her. His face was mostly obscured by shadows and he appeared to be slightly hunched over. An arm was raised and directly pointing in a direction, the limb unwavering as he stood motionless. She followed the direction and locked eyes with a middle-aged man staring directly at her. For some reason, the man's gaze weirded her out even more than Samael's and sweat began to form on her brow. Turning to Niylah, she tugged on her shirt. "There is a man staring directly at me," Clarke whispered.
Niylah turned and looked back at the crowd. "I'm sure they are all staring at you, Clarke. You are Wanheda."
Clarke shook her head. "This is... different. I don't know. Just please, look. He's right over..." Clarke pointed to where she saw the man previously but both he and Samael were now gone. "There," she trailed off, dumbfounded. She felt Niylah wrap her arm around her shoulders and lead her towards the castle.
"It looks like you scared him off," Niylah said. "Come, I have a surprise for you in your room."
Clarke raised an eyebrow at Niylah, wondering what it could be. She looked at the position of the sun and knew nightfall would be there soon. Just make it until then and you're free. One last glance over her shoulder confirmed the man was gone and Clarke let it slip from her mind as they entered the castle. Niylah guided her through the main corridor and stopped in front of Clarke's door.
"I figured you could use some guards once you leave," Niylah whispered as low as she could. "I've set up all the arrangements, so you four should have horses waiting for you outside of camp."
"You're not coming with us?" Clarke asked. Her heart sank a little at the thought of leaving Niylah behind after being around the woman so much for so long.
"My place is here," Niylah replied. "Nia will be angry that you're gone. I need to be here to calm her down. Now, time to meet your guards," Niylah said turning the knob and opening the door.
Clarke entered the room first and saw two familiar faces and immediately ran to them. "Lincoln, Harper!" she exclaimed embracing them gingerly with a hug. Several months ago, she would have felt dread and sadness at seeing their faces. Now, her heart felt some measure of happiness. She released her grip and turned to Niylah, a bit confused. "You said there would be four of us," she stated. A man behind her cleared his throat and Clarke whirled around to see the one person she least expected to be here. "Bellamy?!"