Clarke roamed the streets of Polis, enjoying the little freedom she had. Being Wanheda practically made her a prisoner in all but name. She could only go so far from the tower, and never without her constant shadows. To this day she still didn't know her guards names. I never even though to ask, she thought. Somehow she doubted the two would tell her.
Rounding a corner to the market, a rush of sweet and spicy flavors filled the air. Her mouth watered and she began looking over the various vendors to see what she wanted to eat. Normally food was bartered for, though with Clarke it was much different. Everyone wanted to be on Wanheda's good side and she was regularly offered free food and trinkets. The whole concept made her extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Getting free food for being a murderer didn't seem right to her. Instead, she gathered whatever she could from the room to trade. It wasn't much, but it made all the difference in the world to her.
She passed through the various stalls and vendors, savoring all the tastes. Young children ran through the street in front of her, laughing and playing with each other. Their energy brought a smile to her face. Just to see people so innocent playing without a care in the world fascinated her. The children wove around the people in traffic and nearly tripped in some cases. It almost looked like a game within a game to Clarke. It looked to her like they were playing tag from the way they were all running away from a little boy. One of the girls tripped and fell, and the boy chasing her wasted no time in tagging her. He took off running through the crowd and the girl sprinted right after him, skirting through the masses.
A droplet of water hit her hand and Clarke looked to the sky. She expected to see rainclouds forming and the beginnings of a storm. Instead she saw a clear sky above her. More water hit her arm and Clarke raised her hand to her cheek. I'm crying, she realized. Why? Watching children play shouldn't make me cry. She stood there in the middle of the crowd, miffed, staring down at the glistening water on her hands. She just witnessed something so pure and she should couldn't explain why she wouldn't be happy about it.
"Wanheda?"
Clarke took a second to realize someone was talking to her. Even with everyone in Polis referring to her with the title, she still was not used to it. Turning around, she saw Orion standing in front of her. Her eyes narrowed as she swept away the remaining tears from her eyes. He's on Nia's side and made Lexa look like a fool... made me look like a fool too. After he tried to rescue her from Roan, and again when they met before the duel, she believed him to be an ally. Instead, he's just another person who betrays me."What are you doing here?" she asked bitterly.
"Must have a home," Orion replied, spreading his arms out wide. "Where better a place? Living out in the wilderness takes its toll on a man. That it does." The look on his face softened slightly and Clarke figured he must have seen her watery eyes. "Tell me, why are you crying?"
"Shouldn't you be back in Azgeda territory?" Clarke asked, changing the subject and rubbing at her eye. "You did help them win that duel, after all."
"I did, yes. I did." Orion stepped out of the way from an oncoming caravan and moved to Clarke's side. "It was not intended, Wanheda,, but I could not refuse my Queen's offer. Niylah." He broke out in a smile the second he said her name. "I am currently banished and cannot see her. A simple duel to get in good graces with the Queen? A man cannot refuse such an offer. Now, I have told my secret. Will you share yours?"
It was good to hear Niylah's name. It had been a while since Clarke had thought about her. I hope she's doing well. "To be honest, I don't know," Clarke replied. She stared back out to the crowds filling the street. "I was just watching a group of children play. They made me smile, then the next thing I know I'm crying." Why am I even telling him this? He's half-insane and working for Nia. She thought about walking away but quickly decided against it. She only had so much time left before she had to return to the tower and she didn't like the idea of walking back towards it just yet.
"It is the grief of the soul," Orion replied, patting over his heart. "If the stories are true, you have experienced much death for a girl your age. Very much." Clarke scowled and turned slightly, though she still listened. "There it is. That is why you cry, Wanheda."
"Don't call me that!" She had been fine with the title until then. She mostly heard it once from a vendor then was on her way. With him repeatedly using it, she despised the title. Months had passed with her trying to forget all the killing she had done. Now, she was had to endure having a title for it.
"Very well. Very well," Orion placated, lowering his hands slowly. "You have grown so accustomed to death. So familiar. Happiness now seems like a stranger to you, though you do not realize." Orion moved closer to her and laid his hand on her shoulder. "Grief like this can drive one insane, Clarke. I know. I live it."
"That's why you left the Azgeda," Clarke muttered. Suddenly, things were starting to click. "The Mountain Men crushed you and you couldn't take it." Clarke turned toward him, tears flowing from her eyes. She didn't want to end up like Orion. He seemed like a decent man, but his mental sanity was definitely in question. Is that my fate? What I've been through is much worse than him. "How do I beat this?" For too long Clarke had been lying to herself, trying to believe she was handling her pain. Seeing those children playing had broken her. Orion was right, she had forgotten what happiness looked like.
"You do not run," Orion stated, his voice smooth and firm. "Never run. That only weakens you and enhances the pain. Instead you fight it head on." Orion pounded his fist over his heart multiple times. "Have courage to face it. Find what you love and hold it dear to you. That is how you survive."
"But you had Niylah," Clarke remembered. She had seen the pain on Niylah's face when the woman finally talked to her about Orion. "Why did you leave her?"
Orion stilled and lowered his head. "I..." He raised a hand to hide his face from Clarke. "I was weak," he admitted. Clarke heard him take a few ragged breaths and for a moment thought he was going to cry, but his hand dropped and he met her gaze. "But no longer. The Mountain is dead and it is time for me to face my pain."
"That's why you fought for Nia." It all made sense to her now. Being banished away from the Azgeda meant no access to Niylah. At least not now, she thought. Clarke had a feeling Niylah wouldn't be leaving Azgeda territory anytime soon after helping her escape.
"Exactly right," Orion replied, a smile on his face. "I return home soon, I hope. Queen Nia said she would send word when I am allowed back." He patted Clarke's shoulder and gave a laugh. "You know what I love now. Tell me, what does Clarke love?"
The question caught Clarke so off-guard she almost staggered backwards a few steps. Her body went rigid and her face tensed up. What do I love? She asked herself. "I..."
"Think, Clarke," Orion urged. "It is not a hard question to answer. Close your eyes. Think of love. What comes to your mind?"
I hardly know him, she thought to herself. It felt strange to think about love around someone she had only met a few times. She knew he was trying to help her, and she couldn't deny she needed it. Happiness had been gone from her life for too long and she wanted it back. "Okay," she said, exhaling. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Love, think love, she told herself. The phrase repeated itself as she tried to focus only on her thoughts. As she repeated the phrase to herself, a picture started to form. Dark brunette hair flowed with sunshine reflecting off its locks. Deep emerald eyes came to view, holding the weight of the world in their gaze. A smooth, slender face...
"I don't know!" Clarke shouted out, opening her eyes. She couldn't, wouldn't, let that picture finish forming. Instead, she thought of other things she had loved. Her mom and dad, Wells, and Finn. "What if everything I love hurts me?" she blurted out.
"It hurts you because you miss it," Orion replied softly. "It would not be love otherwise." Orion stepped away and gave a quick bow. "I have taken enough of your time. Keep in mind what we talked about. Good day Clarke."
Clarke merely nodded and watched as Orion walked away. She did not move from her spot, standing in the middle of the crowd. It hurts you because you miss it, she repeated in her thoughts. Clarke rubbed her wrist, wishing she still had her father's watch. It, among other things, was one of the few possessions she left behind at Camp Jaha. She wished she had it now more than ever. I wish my mom were here. While she didn't always get along with her mother, sometimes she was the only person Clarke could talk to about things. Instead, she stood alone in the middle of a city she didn't belong in.
Clarke let out a deep sigh, then continued on her way. The street vendors no longer held her interest, so she made for the tower. She didn't have the faintest idea of how to use the advice Orion gave her, but knew it was something that had to happen. Running away from her problems had failed her already. It was time to face them head on. Looking up, Clarke saw a lone crow circling high above the city. It must be nice to fly up that high whenever you want, away from all the world's problems, she thought. For now, she lowered her gaze and kept on going, brown hair and green eyes on her mind.
Lexa stormed through the streets of Polis toward the main gate. Various people stared as she blew past them but she paid them no mind. Above her a lone crow flew, circling over the city. Perhaps they'll have a meal once I am done. When Titus informed her that Skaikru were at the gates of Polis she thought nothing of it. Her assumption was that they had been there for Clarke and she would explain why it would not be a good idea. How wrong I was. Instead, she learned that they showed up to Polis with their weakling guns.
Lexa clenched her fists as she wove her way through the crowds of people. Word must have spread. The people looked scared and panicked. They clung to their loved ones and huddled together around building entrances. For months her people had been walking worry free since the death of the last Mountain Men. To see them returned to such a state of uncertainty lit a fire in her heart. She had been too lenient with Skaikru for too long. Clarke's influence had caused her forgiveness but that ended today. I'm sorry, Clarke. But I can only be pushed so far.
After she reached the main gate, Lexa climbed up one of the adjacent guard towers. From the way Titus talked she expected a whole army. Instead, once she reached the top she found herself looking down at just four, with a small wagon covered by a canvas behind them Before she spoke, she pressed herself up against one of the lesser exposed areas, not wanting to give an easier target for the Skaikru. "Skaikru! You trespass on our capitol and bring weapons of war. Your ignorance of our ways will not save you this time. Back away now, or die!" Please, just go, she thought to herself. She knew that if she gave the order all of the Skaikru before her would die. More than one of her own would die in the process and not everyone in Polis was a warrior. That was a price she did not want to pay.
Her fears came true when they did not back away. Instead, one of the Skaikru walked forward, a middle-aged woman. The rest of the Skaikru raised their weapons and for an instant Lexa thought a war was about to erupt right before her. Several tense moments passed and no attack came, and Lexa released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. She re-focused on the woman standing in front of the wagon as she spoke.
"My name is Hannah Green," the woman began. "We come to bring a message. We will take no more. Arkadia is ours! The attacks on our people will not be tolerated anymore." The woman wrung her hands and even from her elevated position, Lexa could see the veins protruding from her neck. "Our people helped yours get rid of an enemy, and instead you betray us. No more. As reparations for these attacks, we will be expanding Arkadia's territory. There is a farming village not far from our home. In three days we will take it, by force if we have to."
Is this woman out of her mind? Lexa thought. Everyone had a baffled look on their face as they looked to her. "That will not happen, Hannah," Lexa called back. "I have been understanding of your situation and gifted you the land you have now. If you attack that village, I will not hesitate to wipe out every single one of your people. Remember, you live by my will." Lexa let her voice fill with rage and anger, unable to contain it. She had been taken advantage of too much lately. Skaikru were not part of her Coalition, and knew most of her people were itching to rid themselves of the foreigners.
"That is most unfortunate," Hannah replied, a smile on her face.
Lexa scowled at the arrogance of this woman. Though she did not like many of the Skaikru she had met, this one took the prize for her least favorite. Looking around them, she did not see the messengers she sent to the Skaikru. "Where are Vinam and Tho? I sent them to you to get your message."
"They did what you sent them to do," Hannah replied. The Skaikru then began backing up, leaving the wagon they brought back behind. They kept their guns raised until they were out of sight. Soon, Lexa heard the loud rumbling of their machines and knew they had retreated.
Lexa climbed down the guard tower once she knew it was safe and hopped down to the ground. The main gate began opening and Lexa tapped her foot in impatience while she waited. Once the opening was big enough she skirted through the opening and rushed to the wagon. She threw off the canvas to see Vinam and Tho laying there, dead and riddled with bullet holes. Revolted, she dropped the bit of canvas she held in her hands and turned to one of the gate guards. "Send word. I summon the chiefs of the twelve clans. It is time Skaikru be taught a lesson." I'm sorry, Clarke.
Ontari rose from her prayer and made her way over to the only window in the room. The nightblood quarters were not so bad, much better than she had for all of her life. Her heart was pounding as she looked out over the city below. A few hours earlier, she watched the Skaikru arrive outside the gate and knew the signal had been sent. You've trained your whole life for this, she reminded herself. Gently she rubbed the small of her back, fingers gingerly tracing the many scars from the constant whipping her Queen subjected her to.
"One day, you will be Heda, Ontari," Nia had told her. "You must be prepared. You cannot be weak as Heda. Not like Lexa."
I am not weak, Ontari had told herself. She had made the most of her time in Polis, learning all she could. Titus had been a big help in teaching her. It honestly took her more effort to hide her skills than to learn new ones from him. She took a quick glance across the rest of the room and the other nightbloods were scattered about, talking and playing with each other. Ontari didn't even know their names. However, she knew the lean, blonde boy was the strongest of the group. The rest of them didn't come close to him.
The whole situation was surreal to her. Ever since that day where she went to her mother, scared that her blood was black, she had been building to what was about to happen. The rigorous training and torture her Queen subjected her to, everything. Soon, you will be Heda, she told herself. Something in her knew that it would all be worth it. It had to be. She couldn't mess this up.
A faint scream from the hallway sent shivers down her spine. It's time, she realized. Her hands trembled slightly as she positioned herself near the back of the room. Another scream rang out and the rest of the room looked towards the door. The room was silent for several tense seconds and Ontari silently pulled out the sword she had stowed away in her bunk. Someone started crashing against the door and a couple of the younger nightbloods screamed out. "Everyone get behind me," Ontari called out, moving to the front of the room. She was relieved when they complied.
The door banged several more times, the wood splintering little by little each time. Finally the door burst open and three men armed with bloodied swords stormed into the room. Ontari stood her ground while the rest of the room backed away from the attackers.
"Are you ready?" one of the attackers asked, looking straight at Ontari.
Portray confidence. Show no weakness. Ontari relaxed her pose and turned to face the rest of the room. This was her destiny, and she was going to take it. She would have to kill two of the men with her, and they both knew it. Even still, they stood by her to finish their mission. She admired that. "Ready," she replied, taking up her fighting stance. The nightbloods all backed together and tried to muster up the best defensive positions they could, but it didn't matter. This is my Conclave, and I won't fail my Queen. She gave a nod to the men behind her and she charged forward to her purpose.