Someone called the last chapter "farcical", and that absolutely made my day. Along with all the other reviews, of course. Thank you all so much!

Sarah sighed. "Could you have chosen a worse time to lose the remote?" she asked in a loud whisper.

Chuck said nothing in reply, but Sarah could imagine the face he was making. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was set in a scowl, but his brown eyes showed that he wasn't actually angry at her. There was a twinkle in them that hinted at his good humor and would let Sarah know when she went too far. Which was rare, both because Chuck was a good sport and she wasn't the kind of person to push her humor past the line.

He was currently rooting around under the table, his back to Sarah, his foot a few inches from hers. He had already checked under the couch, by sticking his arm in the gap as far as he could and moving down its length. Although he couldn't reach under the entire thing, he got a good sense of what was hiding there. It wasn't the remote. Or sanitary.

"Ugh," he groaned. "I don't think it's here either." He tried to lift his head and it smacked into the bottom of the table with a thud. Sarah smirked, knowing he wouldn't see it.

"Well, where else could it be?" she asked.

Chuck rose to his knees and rubbed the back of his head, smoothing down his curls. "I don't know. We've had teenage boys come in and hide it in places all over the store. I once found it in the employee fridge, although how they got in and out of there unseen is a mystery to me."

Sarah leaned back into the couch and crossed her arms. "So, basically," she summed up, "it could be anywhere in the store."

Chuck began moving again. "Could be," he said. "It's probably in here somewhere."

"Probably," Sarah repeated flatly.

"I know, I know," Chuck said before she could continue. "Not good enough. But I don't have a magical remote finder in my pocket. I lost that a few years ago."

"Such a shame," Sarah said, her face completely serious. "Mine's back home."

"And you didn't think to bring it to work?" Chuck shook his head chidingly. "Sarah. I thought you were always prepared, you know, being a spy and stuff."

She shrugged noncommittally. "Technically, you're a spy too."

"Yeah, but we all know that's just a title," Chuck said as he crawled over to the tv and felt around on the floor. "I'm about as useful as a wet noodle."

"I wouldn't say that," Sarah hedged. "Maybe a wet pool noodle."

She was barely able to make out his shape straighten and turn to her in the semi-darkness. His eyebrow was probably raised skeptically, like it did when he clearly didn't believe her or appreciate her sarcasm. "Thank you, so much."

"You're welcome."

As he bent back over to search the ground by the curtains, there was a loud noise from outside, followed by extremely colorful language. Sarah turned on the couch to look at the curtains that separated her from the commotion outside. They weren't blackout curtains, so light came through them, but Sarah couldn't see anything through them, and there was no way anyone could look through them from the other side. She didn't recognize the voices on the other side, but there was no way she should be able to.

"Eureka!" Chuck shouted behind her.

Sarah spun and glared at him. When she realized he couldn't see it, she hissed, "Quiet!" He stilled and she listened hard for anyone coming to investigate, but the chaos outside must've hidden the noise.

"Sorry," Chuck said, sounding chastened.

Sarah relaxed when it became apparent no one was coming. "'Eureka'?" she asked incredulously.

"I've always wanted to say it," Chuck explained defensively. "Anyway, I found the remote."

"It's about time," Sarah said, still sounding irritated, but she was relieved. Her nerves had been slowly building while Chuck was searching for the remote. If he didn't find it, they would be stuck in there. Who knew if they could get across the store safely again, especially with Chuck's nearly disastrous track record?

Chuck collapsed on the couch next to Sarah, sinking into the old couch and inadvertently sliding her toward him. She quickly shifted away from him before he noticed.

"Okay," he said quietly to himself. "Okaaaaay, right. I know what I'm doing."

Sarah eyed him. "Chuck? You do know what you're doing, right?"

"Yeah, of course!" he answered quickly before looking back at the remote in his hand. "I just… haven't had to do this in a veeeery long time."

Sarah leaned over to look at the remote over his shoulder, careful not to touch him. "Isn't there a power button?" she asked.

"Of course there's a power button, Sarah," Chuck said. "But I want to know what I'm doing completely before I start."

Sarah levelled a look at him. "Since when has that ever stopped you from doing anything before?"

"Well, I tend to act more carefully when I'm stuck in the evil lair of evil people."

"That is not true at all. I've been there on several occasions when that is the exact opposite of what you did."

"Well, that's not what's important." Chuck changed the subject and hunched over the remote. "I think… if I press this… then the secure channel to the General will open. I think."

"Why aren't you sure? You work here."

"It's been a long time since I've had to use the showroom to talk to you guys, okay?" Chuck said defensively. "Now I just go to Castle. But since that is obviously no longer an option…" He hesitantly moved his finger over a button. "Okay, I can't really read the buttons on this without more light, but I think this one is the right one."

"You'd better be right," Sarah warned him.

"I know, I know. Okay. One, two, three." And he pressed the button.

The television flickered to life, illuminating the entire room in harsh, blinding light. Sarah's heart rose for an instant before sound blared from the speakers, so loudly that Chuck jumped and almost fell off the couch. Sarah flinched and grabbed Chuck's arm automatically with one hand, the other immediately at her holster.

"But Weston!" a shrill woman's voice shrieked through the speakers. "It's not what it looked like! I swear!"

Chuck was fumbling with the remote frantically and Sarah was practically tearing it from his grip, trying to turn it off herself. A man, Weston, replied onscreen. His deep voice at its volume almost made Sarah's teeth vibrate in her skull. "No. It's over, Maria. I should have known that you never loved me. I should have known that you would take my vulnerable heart and tear it into sh-"

Chuck finally found the power button, and the silence that followed was deafening. Sarah's heart was pounding against her ribs, blood roaring in her ears. The room was completely dark again as her eyes struggled to adjust. She was still gripping Chuck's arm tightly, but he didn't resist. He felt as tense as she was. She mentally readied herself for action. Someone had to have heard that. There was no way they could get that lucky.

"Oops," Chuck whispered.

There was shouting outside.

Sarah finally moved. "Come on!" She stood and cast around, ignoring the panic that was sitting in her stomach like a rock. She could still only barely see shadows in the room, but she could see enough when Chuck finally freaked out and hurdled over the back of the couch from his sitting position.

"Sarah!" he whisper-shouted, his knuckles white on the couch. "What do we do?" His voice was thick with fear.

Her first reaction was to shout I don't know! angrily, followed by Run for your life! But the analytical part of her brain took over before her emotions let her ruin the situation beyond repair by acting on those first impulses. This is what she was trained for. Just like she had practiced.

Her eyes had fully readjusted again, and she looked around, her gaze skipping around, trying to find somewhere to hide before anyone came in to investigate. She hurriedly asked Chuck if he knew of a good hiding spot.

He did not.

The noise outside was getting louder. Someone was walking over. Chuck was frozen in the corner, waiting for Sarah to come up with a brilliant plan and doing absolutely nothing helpful.

Sarah kept scanning her environment, but she could find nowhere to hide. The room was small and simple. There was nowhere to hide other than behind the couch, which wasn't near enough cover for the both of them.

They were running out of time. Whoever it was that was coming was getting close.

"Get down!" Sarah hissed at Chuck, who was standing behind the couch.

His eyes rounded. "What? He's gonna see me!"

"Just trust me!" Sarah didn't wait for a response before dashing over to the door. She pressed herself to the wall behind it and met Chuck's eyes. His panic and confusion was written all over his face, but he slowly knelt. As his face disappeared behind the sofa, Sarah found herself wishing she could join him and reassure him, but there was no time.

"Simon!" A voice Sarah finally recognized as Jake's called from outside the door. "I forgot to check for anyone in the restrooms!"

Simon responded with an unprintable word. "Then go check them!"

"I'm busy! Can you just be helpful for one goddamn second?"

"Yeah, Simon!" Maddie shouted from another corner of the store. "Be helpful!"

"Shut up, Maddie!" Simon and Jake called in unison. Simon continued, "Why don't you go check the restrooms?"

"What?" Maddie asked in a shrill voice. "No!" But she was outvoted and eventually shouted into compliance. She left for the bathrooms with a few choice words tossed over her shoulder. Sarah felt a chill go down her spine at the thought of Chuck and Casey treating her like that. She was lucky to be assigned to the people she was and not people like Simon and Jake.

Footsteps neared the door, and she stiffened, pressing her back against the wall. It sounded to her like her heartbeat was echoing through the room. It pounded against her ribs, and she closed her eyes to the dark room, concentrating on her hearing. Jake was getting closer…

She almost flinched when his hand finally hit the door handle and turned it. He strode into the room confidently, searching a little for the lightswitch before flicking it on. The fluorescent light seared into Sarah's eyes, and she squeezed them for a few seconds, waiting for them to adjust.

Jake wasn't moving, and when she was finally able to squint her eyes open, she saw he was just standing in front of the door, so close she could almost touch him. His hands were on his hips as he looked around. His gaze landed on the television. "That sounded like the TV," he muttered. "The name Weston sounds familiar, I guess…" He walked toward it and spent a few seconds looking for the wires. "Maybe something shorted out," he reasoned. "That probably could happen, right? I think that's what bad wires do. Short out." He didn't sound confident.

He crouched and opened a cabinet. "I mean, I'm no expert on TV's, but it… it could happen."

As he was talking to himself, Sarah saw the top of Chuck's head peek out from behind the couch. He made eye contact with her and looked pointedly at Jake. What do we do? he mouthed to her.

She raised a finger and mouthed back, Trust me.

He paused and glanced back at Jake, but nodded and retreated back behind the couch.

Just then, Jake grunted under his breath. "I have no idea what I'm doing," he said, frustrated. He was holding two wires in his hands and looking back and forth between them.

Sarah took a small step toward him.

"I mean, we're in a electronics store, right? Surely they would have fixed their TV by now."

Sarah took another step, her hand reaching for her pistol in its holster on her waist.

"But who am I kidding? It's literally called the Buy More. What kind of morons must be running a store called the Buy More?"

She carefully pulled out her pistol and took one more step. She was less than three feet from Jake, who was still crouched.

Chuck saw her over the rim of the couch and his jaw dropped. What the heck are you doing? he mouthed.

Sarah felt the urge to shrug, but figured that would not help calm him down.

Chuck's eyes were wide. He motioned frantically. Get back!

"Oh!" Jake suddenly stood, and Sarah jerked her hand up reflexively, the pistol aimed at his back. "The Sound of Breaking Hearts! Weston's the main character!"

Sarah and Chuck exchanged glances.

"I knew I recognized that scene," Jake said, sounding proud of himself. "I guess I'll just tell Preach it was a malfunction," he finally concluded. He turned to walk out and froze immediately when he saw Sarah, who was still just standing there in the middle of the room. He and Sarah stared at each other for a full second. "Wha-!" he started to shout.

Sarah flipped the pistol in her hand and whacked him in the face.

There was silence, then Chuck stood. "Well," he said, his voice still low. "That was one way of taking care of the situation."

"Well, you weren't helping," Sarah responded, suddenly defensive.

"But what are we supposed to do with him now?" Chuck asked as Sarah hurried to the door and closed it. "Just ask him politely to not tell anyone that we're here?"

"No, of course not."

"What, are you gonna tie him up and hope no one walks in and finds him?"

She looked at him steadily.

Realization lit up his face. "No," he said firmly. "It's not going to work!"

Now she did shrug. "What else can we do?"

"Something else!" Chuck protested, still quietly. "We're just trying to get Ellie and Awesome and get out of here, not kidnap someone else!"

Sarah contemplated Jake, who was crumpled in a ball on the floor. "I mean, it's not like we can carry him out of here on our backs or something," she conceded. And despite what she had just said, Chuck recognized something in the glint in her eyes.

"Sarah!" He appeared to be restraining himself from grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "I thought you the reason you came along was to stop me from doing something stupid!"

"I am, but there is a fine line between stupid and brilliant," Sarah said, her head cocked to the side as she considered Jake's unconscious form. "I walk that line."

"There is also a fine line between being clever and trying to get yourself killed!" Chuck hurried over to the window and peeked past the curtain. "Look, we probably have a few minutes before anyone decides to come looking for him-"

"Have you heard them talking to each other?" Sarah asked from behind him. "They aren't going to come looking for him."

"They may not like each other, but they'll still notice he's missing. They aren't stupid."

Sarah snorted.

"They're not completely stupid," Chuck amended. He let the curtain fall closed and turned to look at her. There was a moment of silence as he considered what to say next. Sarah raised her eyebrow at him, but said nothing.

"Okay," he finally said. "What exactly are you planning to do?"

"Well, we can't take him with us with him unconscious like this…" she pondered.

"Or at all," Chuck added.

"So I guess we leave him. I hadn't really thought the entire thing through yet."

This time, Chuck raised an eyebrow at her.

"I had very little time!" Sarah protested.

Chuck snorted, but backed off. Sarah looked back at the body on the floor. She gestured to Chuck and was about to ask him to help her get it on the couch, but she was interrupted by noise outside. Again.

"Everyone! Shut up!" a gruff voice said. Sarah recognized it as someone Jake had called Preacher. "You'll all get your turn!" His voice was coming from the front of the store. Sarah hadn't heard who he was talking to, but she guessed they were all up front with him.

They were all up front.

"Aaaanyway," Chuck started to say."

Sarah hushed him. "Chuck," she whispered. "They're all up front."

He looked confused. "What? How can you-"

"Trust me!" she whispered forcefully. She suddenly realized how many times she had said that to him in the past five minutes and how all that had turned out, but ignored the thought and ran to the door. She began to open it, checking that no one was around, just in case she was wrong about where they were. Which was improbable, of course, but better safe than sorry.

"No, seriously," Chuck said flatly. He hadn't moved to follow her. "How the heck to do you know that. I would like to know."

Sarah stopped and looked at him. "What part of 'Trust me' do you not understand? Just come on!"

He didn't seem very confident in her, but he nodded anyway and joined her at the door. She glanced at him one last time before pulling the door open. When no one immediately screamed at them or tried to tackle them, she released the breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. "Okay," she breathed. "I think we're okay."

"I thought you said you knew we were okay," Chuck pointed out.

Sarah glared at him. "I will leave you here," she threatened calmly.

He gulped subtly. "Well, if you say we're okay, then we're okay," he decided. "Let's go. Ladies first."

"Thanks," Sarah said sarcastically. She led the way out of the room, and Chuck followed carefully. They couldn't hear or see anyone in the back of the store with them. It was eerily quiet. It seemed like Sarah was right; everyone seemed to be up front. For some reason.

"Where did everyone go?" Chuck said in her ear.

The feeling of his breath tickling her ear almost made her jump. She controlled herself before saying, "I think they're all in the front. Like I said."

"How can you possibly know-" Chuck began to ask, irritated. He caught a glimpse of Sarah's face, however, and caught himself. "-how to move so quietly? Seriously, I can't hear you and I'm inches away."

"Nice save," Sarah said dryly.

"Thank you," Chuck said, sounding almost proud of himself. Then he paused. "What about the General?" he asked. "We were trying to get a hold of her with the TV, remember?"

Sarah cursed under her breath. "Of course I remember, and we don't have time."

"Sarah, we can't just wing this by ourselves! We need some kind of backup."

She had finally had enough. She turned on her heel and grabbed Chuck by the collar. Her nose was inches from his. They were hiding in the middle of an aisle. Anyone who happened to walk by would be able to see them. "Listen to me," she said in a low, threatening voice. "Everyone is up front, so we are going to go find Ellie and Awesome while they're distracted and take the back way out, okay? And you are going to stay behind me and let me take care of everything. You are not going to try to be a hero and get yourself or anyone else killed."

Chuck stared at her, his eyes crossed slightly from looking down at her. "Okay, okay," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "Sorry."

Sarah released her hold on him and smiled. It didn't reach her eyes. "Let's go," she said, and walked away. Chuck stared after her and took a breath, trying to calm his pulse. Sarah heard his pause behind her and smiled quietly to herself, this time for real. For a split second, she forgot their situation and was caught up in imagining the shocked look on his face, because she couldn't turn around and look for it now that she had already started her dramatic exit.

But she was quickly reminded of the danger they were in when she heard more voices coming from up front, an escalating cacophony of arguments, and she got serious. She was still holding her pistol, and she could almost feel Chuck up behind her, he was so close. She ignored him breathing down her neck and checked down the next aisle. They had to cross the store again. And this time, she was not going to let Chuck cross alone.

For purely safety reasons, of course. He almost got himself killed last time.

But that didn't stop her from searching for him behind her with one hand and taking his before taking a single step without him.

Okay. Things have gotten slightly crazy in the life area, and I'm probably going to get a job soon, but don't worry. I intend to finish the story, one way or another. Also, this chapter was written in small portions over a long(ish) period of time, so it may seem a bit meandering. But I hope that doesn't detract from your enjoyment of the story.

As always, thanks for reading!