The Useless Handbook
Chapter II
Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Taylor Swift, Delicate
Lexy opened her eyes slowly. When she arrived from the clinic she went straight to the shower and as soon as she put her head on the pillow, she fell asleep right away.
In the hospital, she had to stay focused only on things inherent to her work, and when she got home, the tiredness didn't allowed her the chance to think carefully in detail about the most fucking beautiful man she had ever seen. Holy Mother! Yes, there were attractive men, other cute, or sexy, but not all in one. He was very close of being dreamy, if he wasn't already.
His face seemed shaped by some god. Perfect features, eyes that crossed defenses, criminal smile and lips that any woman would love to bite. His body, just by reviewing it at a glance, stood out for its absolute firmness. He was also tall, incredibly tall, not only because anyone could be taller than she was - with her 5'1" she was in the official pixie category -, but he was more than 6'2" tall.
And he not only had those physical qualities that were more than evident, but he was also a man who, although she didn't know him thoroughly to place him in the altruistic category, he did was involved with social activities. He had also helped with the sick child, he was concern about the situation, and he had waited for her even when she spent almost 6 hours with the patient.
When her shift finally ended and she didn't see him, she thought with a bit of discouragement that he had finally left. But after hearing his voice, she couldn't help feeling excited. Yes, he was there! And with the handshake she felt a tingling, a heat, that she couldn't shake it off.
But the most shocking moment was when he said that "prayer is an exercise in passion, not indifference". No, no, no. She was lost as soon as she heard it. She felt an implosion inside of her. Yes, she was interested in educated and intelligent men, committed to some cause, but this key phrase showed her that he was one of those who not only want to change the world, but he also knew that in order to do so everything started from his own hands.
And it wasn't like he needed to put together an arsenal of flirting quotes. She was pretty sure that just snapping his fingers he could have anyone he wanted. But it was the way he said that, the determination in his voice and the certainty in his eyes, as if he had an invisible but palpable background - she had sensed his truth and crossed the bridge that he unfolded.
What a dangerous combination, right? He had the looks, the mind and the heart. And of course, everything about him, all of him had a feline halo of mystery and danger that inevitably attracted her. She knew that any attempt to resist would be in vain.
Something inside her warned her to take things slowly, not to trust at all, to control herself a little. However, without caring about all those warning signs, she was overwhelmed by this feeling of wanting everything that possibly could happen. She didn't believe in love at first sight, but there was something Erik Stevens had that drove her to jump into the rabbit hole.
She reached out and took the phone from the bedside table. She did the same thing every day: watch the clock, take a look at new publications of the medical journals she followed, answer any questions or greetings she had received, and little by little she got the strength to get out of bed. Only now she was wondering if he had communicated as they agreed yesterday.
Let's see, missed calls and messages from her mother - she would deal with that later -, friends, co-workers, patients' relatives, colleagues, and... and...
Yes! Oh yeah! A message from an unregistered number – which she now added to her contacts - was displayed on the phone screen.
"Good morning, Lexy. Waiting for our coffee, lunch, dinner, or whatever you feel in the mood for".
Whatever she feels in the mood for? So we also included playful in the list of Erik's features. It was obvious that he was a naughty boy, but she liked to know for sure more facets of him. And he also called her for her name instead of doctor, just as she had asked him. So she was smiling at the screen and began to feel her cheeks blushed. Was it possible that this man with only a message already caused such an effect on her?
What was she going to do? Write him? Call him? The message was delivered at 9am, and it was... 4pm! Lexy sat up suddenly; she hadn't slept so much and so deep for years! Many hours had passed, so she'd better call him. She started walking around the room. Her hands were sweating and she felt a little nauseous.
She felt her heart pounding and forced herself to breathe deeply.
Erik was in his third round of exercise. Normally he did it at least once a day, but he was so anxious that he had to triple physical activity to keep his mind clear. He was in the gym all morning; early he had boxed and then he did legs. Since it was more than noon and he had not heard from her, he decided to go jogging.
Even with the headphones on and the music to the whole volume that was tolerable, every time he lost concentration - what was happening to him frequently since yesterday -, he couldn't help but think of Lexy.
Normally he followed two modus operandi as far as women were concerned. If he needed some information for his objectives, he made a scan to choose the one that could be most useful, used a contact to investigate them and identify weak points to manipulate them, broke them, got what he wanted and sent them away. The other was the casual way; if there were easy prey, he used them to try to satisfy him. Yes, he had a good time, even sometimes a very good time; in fact, his favorites were those that were clear in that he had nothing to offer, but everything to take, without repeating, without snags. Either way, he was never satisfied at all.
But with her he was very intrigued. He hadn't decided how to maneuver. He was interested to know everything about her, but he didn't want to share her data with anyone else. The first thing he did was to find out what appeared on the internet. He only found out her profile in medical networks – Alexandra was her full name; he liked it in both ways -, with information about the university and year in which she graduated, her specialties, areas of expertise and work experience.
It wasn't enough for him; he wanted to know more, to know everything. He was tempted to hack all the pages that gave him the most information, but it felt strange, as if it was not quite right. That is, he knew that violating privacy was illegal, but he simply never cared. He set his sights on something, he got it and that's it. But somehow, when it came to her, he just couldn't do it. Dammit.
He was a man who was always ahead, but not in a random way, but as he was moving calculated which of all the variables was the most feasible. And the only consequence that mattered was success. He didn't stop; it just wasn't part of his program. But something had Lexy Rodríguez that impelled him to take the risk of breathing and contemplating her.
Well, he would put a pause to the impatient desire to take everything no matter what; he would wait for her to tell him whatever, everything, what she wanted. That's why he had sent her that message. He hadn't called her because obviously she would be very tired and they barely knew each other. Usually he wouldn't mind, but with her, well, apparently she was the only exception for his rules.
He knew that maybe he had played a bit the limits of the morally acceptable with the "whatever you're in the mood for" thing, but he wanted the doctor first thing to do when she woke up was to think about him, to get excited imagining that they could be together in any situation and she wanted it like he did. Because, shit! He was dying to taste her.
He slowed down the walk until he stopped completely. He looked at the clock, it was almost 4pm and he still had no sign of her, but his patience was plenty. He was stretching when the music stopped abruptly and when he picked up the phone he saw an incoming call.
"Hey Lexy, good to hear you", he said genuinely.
"Hi, Erik!", he liked that sleepy voice of hers.
"Newly awake?", he had never been able to sleep that much, even when he wasn't on a mission.
"Yeah, shame on me! Sorry I'm calling you so late, it's that – ".
"No prob, you had a difficult day, you had to rest".
"Right, but either way, do you think we can still see each other? Maybe you made plans or you're busy, I totally understand it. I slept too much, I don't know why, and I, uhm, oh, I'm sorry! I'm talking non-stop".
Erik smirked. He liked that he had that effect on her. He wasn't the only one who had been anxious all day. He could bet she was blushing.
"Hey, don't worry, I always have time for you".
What?! What did he just say? I always have time for you? He put a hand to his forehead in exasperation. He had to fix that. Good god!
"I mean, as we agreed to meet today, I left free agenda".
Okay, that was much better. He sounded respectably interested without falling into the despair of OhDearGodHereIAmWaitingForYou kind of thing. Although that was basically the truth she didn't need to know about that.
"Oh!", he couldn't tell if that exclamation meant that she was upset, disappointed, or perhaps flattered?. "Very nice of you Erik, so, do you think it's okay if we see each other in a while?".
He assumed everything was fine because otherwise she would have canceled, right?
"Sure, tell me place and time".
"Do you know this place called Sweet Grannie?".
"Sweet Grannie?".
Erik smiled, he thought that his doctor - well, yes, his doctor Lexy - would have suggestions more, let's say, pretentious? Weren't doctors like that?
"Yes, it's great! Seriously, trust me, I have a sort of sweet tooth degree!", and he heard her laugh and suddenly that sound seemed like one of his favorites.
"Is that so?", he laughed with her, "So I can trust you with my life and the selection of desserts?", just a hint of insinuation.
"Totally, you won't be disappointed", she said with another playful giggle, "At 6pm, then?".
"Yeah, I'll be there".
"See you!".
He heard the click that ended the call.
He didn't know exactly why, but that call calmed him down. Maybe he was making a mistake, maybe he was giving the situation more importance than it really deserved, or maybe she was a mirage and he just had to try her and then cross her off his list.
The truth was that he was justifying himself, because he didn't want to admit that he was afraid. He, being Erik Stevens, being Killmonger, being N'Jadaka, was no longer afraid of anything. Yes, he was very worried about not fulfilling his final goal, but that was precisely what motivated him to move forward, one life after another like a videogame.
But with Lexy... It was impossible not to freeze in the face of the unknown. He wasn't going to fall in love – or whatever! period. He was only going to contemplate the flames consumed everything except him. Although Erik knew in the back of his mind, with that tingling in the stomach, and that stupid smile that had apparently decided to settle in his face, he wouldn't be able to escape unscathed from this fire.
Author's Note:
Hello! Once again I want to thank all of you who leave review, follow and favorite. You're a fundamental part of my motivation :)
By the way, the rabbit hole is a wink of Alice in Wonderland: 3
Sorry if Erik is too much OoC, I'm working on it and I hope to stay close from what characterizes him ;) I like the idea of Erik being freeze in some way (yeah T'challa and Erik have that in common because they are adorable cousins that freeze when they see their respective girls!), while Lexy is in gowiththeflow mode.
I also want to thank BooYouWhore101, my latinopowahsistah. Go to her profile and check her fanfic, you will be captivated by Wildest Dreams, with T'Challa as the protagonist. She writes amazing! and she has an awesome ability to work with emotions and situations, it's hilarious and romantic, besides all characters are totally IC, seriously, you will fall in love for real!
Well, I hope to read you soon!