If Papyrus had had the time necessary to complete Frisk's dinner, Alphys however was just getting started, and almost spilled her bowl of instant noodles when she heard a menacing voice hiss through her ears: "Don't you know how to greet a guest?"
Jump. Alphys shot around and let out a small offended cry. She set the bowl back on her desk, catching with the tip of her claws a noodle that had managed to fall on her lab coat in the agitation, and paused the episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie that was playing on her computer screen. Sans, who had just appeared out of thin air behind her, couldn't repress a laugh when he saw her furious expression. And he didn't even had to use the whoopee cushion. Alphys stood up from her chair.
"N-not funny, Sans, you scared me!" she pouted, a little grumpy from being interrupted in the middle of her favorite anime.
"Now that's a cold welcome!" Sans said in-between two snickers. The lizard-lady crossed her arms, pouting, then frowned from confusion.
"Why are you here, did you forget something?"
"Nah, I just need a phone," the skeleton said through his smiling teeth. Alphys tilted her head as her reached for the mobile phone in her pocket with a dubious look.
"Why didn't you use Papyrus's?"
"Because he's on his way here with Baby Bones." Alphys needed a few seconds to understand. And when she finally understood, she was so excited Sans had to explain briefly what had happened so she'd calm down and agree to give him her phone so he could tell Toriel.
"Okay, okay," she stuttered as she presented him the high-tech device – she had probably conceived herself. "Oh my gosh, it's incredible. So Papyrus is coming over, right? Right, I'm, I'm gonna… Keep an eye on them, right?"
"Yeah, you do that," said Sans, the phone held against his ear canal. Alphys was already heading to her surveillance screen, ready to search the Underground once more, looking for the baby human and her very conscientious babysitter. Sans chose to turn to an empty wall of the lab, focused on the ringing hissing into his skull, smiling to himself thinking about Toriel's relief when she'll know her kid was alright.
"Hello, this is Toriel," said a soft voice when someone picked up the phone.
"Knock knock," just said Sans.
"Sans?" The voice sounded surprised before picking up on him. "Oh, sorry! Who's there?"
"Goat."
"Goat… Who?"
"Frisk, that's who we goat. We found her," Sans finished, laughing at his own joke. Toriel couldn't help but laugh along, but her relief and surprise soon took over again.
"Really? You aren't joking, Sans?"
"Nope, we know where she is," he confirmed. "She's on her way to the lab, you should come too."
"On her way? What do you mean, on her way? Sans, where is she? Where was she, how did you…"
"Easy, easy," Sans interrupted her. "Papyrus was the one who found her. Apparently, humans like to play hide and go seek, and… Well I guess I'm not very good at this game."
"Papyrus?" Toriel worried. Sans could hear a bit of crackle and realized after a few seconds she had started to run, with the phone rubbing against her furry cheek. "Is Frisk alright? What happened?"
"Toriel, really, don't worry, my brother wouldn't hurt a fly!" Sans reassured her. "Besides, he didn't even understand she was human. He thinks she's a lost baby monster. I made him believe she was shedding and needed to see a doctor, and that's why he's coming here." As he said that, he frowned, remembering something. "She's feeling much better, by the way. When I came home, Papyrus was stuffing her with vegetable sauce."
"Really?" The crackling suddenly stopped, Toriel had stopped from surprise and relief. Relief because an appeased sigh followed her word. "Good, I was so worried it'd be too late! It is quite strange, she was refusing to eat anything!"
"Well, at least she's healed, right?" Sans shrugged, and thought to himself it was stupid to do this on the phone. He was about to continue when he heard Alphys calling his name from the surveillance screen. "Yes, two seconds, I'm coming," he said before continuing. "Anyway, Papyrus took very good care of Baby Bones, you even won a secondhand onesie, and he's on his way to the lab, so you should come over to take her back as soon as you can."
"Understood." The crackling started again. Sans was about to hang up as he told Alphys when Toriel spoke again : "Sans?"
"Yeah?"
"Knock knock."
Sans smile, or at least did the equivalent of a smile on his still face. "Who's there?"
"Tank."
"Sans!" Alphys called again and Sans raised a hand to say he was coming, hold on a second, thanks.
"Tank who?"
"No, thank you," Toriel giggled. "For your help, thank you, Sans."
Sans's blue magic betrayed him and started shining through his cheekbones – he was blushing. "You're welcome, Toriel. See you soon."
"See you soon." She hung up. Sans took the phone away from his head and turned around to see a very obviously frustrated Alphys.
"Yes, okay, what is it?"
"A problem, that's what it is!"
And then, Sans understood. Alphys wasn't frustrated from being ignored, she was worried. Her eyebrows had taken the shape of accents over her round eyes that showed just a little too much white. The scales at the base of her neck were scratched, and she was biting her lips and fidgeting. What now?
"W-w-we have to get to Undyne's. N-now," Alphys pressed.
"Ok." Sans didn't ask, he doubted there was time for an answer. The Royal Gard's captain's name, when there was a human at stake, was NEVER a good thing. However, he did have the idea of taking the nearest pen to write "waterfalls" on a random post-it, in case they weren't there when Toriel would arrive.
"Quick, quick, oh my god, not good, not good," Alphys worried, jumping on the spot and glancing frequently at the surveillance screen. Sans grabbed her arm, which calmed her slightly, and pulled her towards the exit. "We won't be there in time, it's over!" squealed the royal scientist, but Sans shook his head.
"I know a shortcut." And they both disappeared, teleported, at the very moment the surveillance screen was lighting up with the electric blue of a magic spear.