When I woke up the next morning, Owen's head was resting on my stomach while he was still sleeping. One of my hands dropped to his hair and I subconsciously stroked his gingery curls. My heart started to flutter with some sudden anxiety. There was no way everything was back to normal with just last night's talk. I had been gone nearly a month and here I was pregnant the entire time. I hated fighting with him. I brought it on myself so I knew what to expect but regretted ever putting ourselves in such a rough spot.

I felt him starting to stir so I quickly drew my hand away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up..."

"No, that felt good. I didn't want to sleep too much either."

He turned to face me and moved back up so I could rest my head on his chest. It's like he could feel how anxious I was.

"Amelia, you feel tense. I wish you'd feel safe with me like you used to."

My eyes were immediately glassy. The guilt from the damage I did to our marriage so early in was drowning me.

"I do feel safe with you. I always have and always will. I probably feel safest with you anyways because I know how deeply you love me."

"That's true. You're my number one girl."

"If we are trying to be more open with one another, I will just throw this out there: I feel like I'll always be second to Cristina. I know it's not good to compare but I can't help it right now. You love her more than words can describe. If she had your kids, there would be no 'us'. I feel like you had to settle."

"I'm gonna stop you right there... I loved Cristina, yes. Do I now? No. I still care about her partially and that's only because at one point she and I were married and there were good parts to our marriage. My marriage with Cristina wouldn't have lasted forever. It was failing. She had the chance to have a child with me. She got pregnant and she was aborting it whether I wanted her to or not. Of course I didn't want her to but that didn't stop her. So I tried to just ignore my feelings and support her by going with her. I held her hand yet as the procedure went on, I started filling with resent. I started resenting her. I even went as far as cheating on her. I was a shitty husband. Once the divorce was finalized, I started to feel like I could breathe again. She eventually left for Switzerland and that was that."

My heart hurt for him. He really did just want a baby so bad.

"Owen..."

"Just listen... Cheating on her was unforgivable for her and for me. I will never be able to forgive myself not will I ever cheat again. I don't want you to have to worry about that. I also stand behind what I said last night: if it's too scary or painful to have a family, I don't want one. You are my family. I never settled. I pursued you and fought for you, and I always will. You are the woman I love. The love I have for you is scary. It's undying. It suffocates me in the best way possible."

My face was damp with tears from all different emotions.

"I love you so much baby."

"I love you too Mia, I always will."

He kissed me sweetly and softly and my anxiety magically subsided.

"It is scary but I do want to have a family. I can't wait to see our little baby being cradled in your arms. It's very emotional for me and now I understand it's the same for you. We both lost our first child to something we didn't have control over. Our second baby is so deeply loved already and that's the most important thing to me right now."

"As it is for me..."

We laid there together a little but longer before we decided to shower and get dressed for the day. We had nothing planned until the evening when Derek and Meredith were coming over for dinner with the kids.

When we sat at the table to have breakfast together, I noticed Owen was off. His mind was distant and his eyes dark.

"Owen, you aren't eating... Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed and inhaled deeply.

"I've already said what I had to. I don't like talking about the hard parts of my past. I think you're the first person I've really told all of that to to that extent. It just wore me out mentally. I promise I'm okay."

The rest of breakfast was silent. He cleared off the table and brought me my prenatal vitamin to take with some grape juice. By the time I finished all of the juice, Owen was already lounging on the couch with the same depressed look from earlier. I pulled my hair back and sat on the far end of the couch and reclined it so the foot rest could come up.

"Baby, why don't you go back upstairs and sleep a little longer? That could help you feel better. Our bed is more comfy than our couch."

He looked at me and went to respond but took a second to change what he was going to say.

"What if I laid here with you? Would you be okay if I just put my head on your lap? I sleep better with you close by."

I smiled softly at him.

"That sounds really nice."

"If you don't mind... I don't want to impose."

I pulled a blanket onto my lap and grabbed another from the side table's shelf for Owen.

"You aren't imposing. I'm just laying here and you know I love cuddling."

He finally laid down with his head on my lap and the blanket I got for him draped across his body. I channel surfed long enough for him to just fall asleep. After settling on just watching the ID channel that had various crime mystery shows, I started fingering his gentle curls again. It felt so relaxing to just sit there. His face looked so peaceful now. I never took for granted letting him sleep because it was pretty much the only time he was stress free.

Owen POV

I woke up from my nap to the sound of childrens' laughter which I recognized as Zola & Bailey. My head was no longer on Amelia's lap, instead now on one of the throw pillows. I sat up and scanned the room for the time. It was 4:38 P.M. My 8 hour nap was longer than I slept most nights.

"Well there you are sleepyhead. Amelia and Derek are making that cookie salad concoction thing with the kids. We brought the lasagna and breadsticks."

"Sounds great. I thought she would've woken me up before you all got here but clearly she didn't."

Meredith just laughed.

"Isn't she lovely? She mentioned you had a rough morning. I figured she just wouldn't stop talking and that's what exhausted you. That's how I felt when she lived with us."

I shook my head. Amelia was known for rambling but Meredith was too hard on her for it.

"That wasn't it. She and I were sharing things. I told her about the abortion and me cheating on Cristina. I didn't expect it to affect me like that."

Meredith's playful smile quickly left her face.

"How did she react to that?"

"A shit ton better than I thought she would. She told me that she loved me. We trust each other so things should be okay. I also had told her if it's too scary to have kids, we don't need any. I'd support her decisions. She did say she wants to have babies with me. She's pregnant, you know..."

"Derek did mention that to me. I was staying quiet until you two decided to tell everyone else. Congratulations by the way, I know you've always wanted this. Has she told you James is coming to Grey-Sloan for a week long training course with Bailey and Robbins?"

"James?"

"Her ex fiancé. He was an E.R doctor but wants to switch to fetal and pediatrics. We are a teaching hospital so Bailey approved him to observe and learn for a week."

Why wouldn't she tell me this? Not that it mattered all that much but if she knew he was coming, why wouldn't she inform me?

"No. It must have slipped her mind."

She then got a deer in the headlights look and was saved by Ellis starting to cry as she was waking up in her playpen. I made my to the kitchen full of Shepherds. I took a second to just observe. Amelia looked so beautiful standing there as she interacted with our niece and nephew. It was only a matter of time before it would be our child she was making things with.

"Amelia, can I please speak to you in the other room for a second?"

She glanced over at me as I tried (but failed) to get a smile on my face...