Before we knew it, it was time for my 18 week ultrasound. I was almost half way through my pregnancy and more than ready to find out the gender of our sweet baby. Owen and I had decided on Ruby Evelyn Hunt for a girl and Parker Bailey Hunt for a boy. We wanted to have our baby and future children have their middle names after family members and for our first we'd either be honoring Owen's mom or my favorite nephew. I had just got off work after pulling a double. It was closing in on 9 a.m and I was ready to get home and curl up in bed with my husband after we got to see our baby.

"Helloooooo. Earth to Amelia."

I turned with a smile on my face, recognizing the voice as my handsome husband.

"Oh hi babe. Sorry I didn't see you come in."

He took my hand in his and we started walking towards one of the ultrasound rooms where we were going to be meeting Robbins.

"You were zoned out... How are you feeling? I told Chief Bailey that you don't need to be the one pulling doubles for a while. You are pregnant and you need your rest."

"I was fine Owen, I managed. I'm ready to at least nap. I feel fine. Our child has decided to nestle up against my bladder so surgeries were a bit painful. I had a craniotomy and right as I was starting to close, an emergency crainiectomy came in."

He gave my hand a quick squeeze.

"You never fail to amaze me Amelia... Even if I wasn't married to you, I'd still whole heartedly believe you're the best neurosurgeon in the world. Everything you did from saving Ruby's mom and saving Dr. Herman and even just your normal day to day stuff... It's amazing. You have a true talent. I love you."

I blushed as I listened to my husband just gush over me.

"I love you too Owen, so much..."

He stole a kiss and let me to ultrasound room 5. He took a seat while I laid on the table, tucking the paper sheet into my waistline to protect my scrub pants from the ultrasound goo. As soon as I lifted my shirt up over my bump, Owen stood right beside me with a hand on my growing belly.

"Have you felt our speck move more today?"

"Uh I did while in surgery and again when I was eating a donut."

"It was probably thanking you for the sweet treat which by the way, where's mine?"

I gave him my best dimpled smile.

"I ate it. Your child wanted me to have it."

"I won't even argue to that."

Arizona knocked on the door then came in.

"There is two of my favorite people. Are you ready to figure out Grey-Sloan's newest baby's gender?"

"Of course."

Owen moved his hand from my bump to hold one of my hands while Robbins did the ultrasound. The cool gel gave me chills as she spread it all over my stomach. The room was quickly filled with the sound of our child's heartbeat. It was strong and loud.

"Well would you look at that... Congrats you two! You're having a sweet baby girl."

"Mia... We get our little Ruby Evelyn. I can't wait."

My eyes filled with tears. Our baby was so healthy and already so perfect. I felt his lips press against my temple. I was finally getting happiness in my whirlwind life.

"She is measuring a bit on the smaller end but no issues other than that. I want to get your weight and blood pressure if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

I got on the scale and when it beeped with 123 I knew I would hear it from both Arizona now and Owen when we got home.

"Amelia, this isn't good... You weighed 125 pre-pregnancy and now you're down two pounds when realistically you should have gained between 8-12 pounds at this point. Not only that, your blood pressure is significantly low. By your next check at 22 weeks, I want to see you around 130-135 pounds and your blood pressure back to a normal range. Owen, you can help implement this... She needs to being eating all three meals a day with as many snacks as she wants. Amelia, you need to be eating hearty meals, anything with red meat or chicken and pretty much anything high in fat. Get proper rest and lay on your left side. It increases blood flow to your heart. I will be checking up on you frequently at work and I give Owen full permission to be a pain in the ass about getting some weight on you. It'll help get little miss Ruby potentially on the bigger side, or at least bigger than she is now. On your way out, I want you to stop by labs. I'm going to put in the orders for a full blood panel to check all your functions and I'll let you know how everything turns out."

"Thank you Arizona. You've been great."

She helped wipe my baby bump clean then left the room. I pulled my scrub top back down and we silently walked to labs for the blood draw. Once they got all of the blood they needed, we finally left. Owen still wasn't saying anything to me and it remained that way the entire car ride home.

After we went inside, I went straight to our bedroom and through to our bathroom so I could shower. I rid myself of my scrubs and left them in a small pile on the floor since I was too tired to care. I caught a glimpse of my naked body in the mirror and Arizona's words were starting to sink in. I was losing weight when it should be the exact opposite. My ribs were starting to show even with my baby bump front and center. It's probably the reason why I looked much farther along than I was. I couldn't help but shudder. I felt how I was looking: horrible.

My shower was as quick as I could make it even with shaving. My body ached all over and sleep was close by. I found one of Owen's Army t-shirts and slipped on a pair of black silk sleep shorts. Just as I laid down and pulled the covers up, Owen came in and decided he was ready to talk.

"I know you're tired but I need a few minutes."

"Okay."

Rolling from my side to my back so I could actually look at him, I partially scooted up while he sat at the foot of our bed.

"I feel angry. I know that isn't the right feeling to have but its what I'm feeling right now. I have cooked plenty of huge meals even for just the two of us and we keep our fridge and pantry stocked fully with food. You want to work nonstop like you used to despite the fact you know that that entails you not sleeping well or eating well. You need to swallow your pride and listen to what somebody tells you for once. You need to take better care of yourself. If not for you, then do it for our baby. Just try Amelia..."

It wasn't the first time today that my eyes pooled with tears.

"I am trying. My first pregnancy I had no issues with my weight. I wasn't really working steadily either. I'm so scared this time around. I don't want history to repeat itself so I've tried busying myself with work as a distraction. It's common for us to skip meals and what not when we are in surgeries or have a full schedule. Maybe I have been more forgetful than usual but my on and off daily nausea doesn't help the matter."

"We should be starting to transition to smaller shifts than our typical 12-14+ hours. We should be creating the nursery and spending time together, you know actually getting ready for our baby."

The tears were now spilling.

"After all of this that we've been through, I still feel like I'm not enough. I don't listen enough, I don't eat enough, I'm not home enough, I'm not careful enough and I'm not gaining enough."

"You are enough, Amelia. You know I'm afraid now that you won't survive childbirth. If we can't get your blood pressure to rise, the chances of you bleeding out... I don't want to think about what could happen."

Maybe it was the fact I had a microscopic filter or because we were both getting everything off our chests now but even I couldn't stop what was coming out of my mouth.

"You have an out."

"Amelia..."

"I'm giving you an out. You can leave if you'd like. Before the baby comes, you can just go. I haven't made things easy for us and now I haven't been a good enough mom to Ruby and she isn't even born yet. She is at risk because I've allowed myself to get this way. Soon I'll get my shit together and I'll get the weight on... I'll get healthy again. I don't expect you to be here. When you were with Cristina and you had cheated... Cristina is very pretty and she wasn't even all fat and pregnant yet she still got cheated on. I'm giving you this out as a one time offer. That way you can go sleep with whoever and you won't have the baggage of a wife or child. I'll be okay."

The tears were hot rolling down my cheeks. Owen had the worst pained look I'd ever seen yet we didn't dare get closer to one another.

"I don't want an out. I'll never cheat on you Amelia. You're the woman of my dreams. You're an amazing mom. We just need to work on things as far as you taking better care of yourself but everything else is fine. You being pregnant does not turn me off from you, not at all. I want you as much as I did before and maybe even more so now. You and Ruby aren't baggage. We are a family. She's going to be amazing just like you and I can't wait to see you with her. I want us and that's all I want. I'm in love with you Amelia Grace Shepherd. That won't ever change."

I choked back a sob. He was so perfect. What did I do to deserve him?

He closed the distance between us and got under the covers with me, taking time to kiss away my tears.

"Owen, I do love you."

"I know, baby. Everything is going to be just fine. Now sleep... I've got you and I'm not going anywhere."

I slid back down and turned to my side taking great comfort in Owen spooning me with his arms wrapped closely around me. I finally let the sleep I so desperately needed take over. It was going to be okay.