Daryl knew where they all were right now – he was on the outskirts, but he still kept an eye.
They were in the farm house deciding about the fate of that kid they brought back from the town last night… Randall…
Part of him was comfortable just fading away from them all and letting them be.
Another part of him felt he should be there.
That's why it was no surprise that he was climbing the stair to the farm house and heading through the door only ten minutes later; there was no surprise that the first person he noticed and the first person that noticed him was Carol.
Awkwardly, he dipped his eyes to acknowledge her and immediately felt a flush on his cheeks as she smiled and he remembered how she had smiled after he kissed her…
It was a small, pleased, beautiful smile that consumed his thoughts for hours afterward and successfully stole his concentration now.
What was he doing?
There they were, surviving and making the decisions on someones life… here he was, thinking of how he should have said something to bring her back to him.
And then what? Merle asked, What was you going to do, Slim? Kiss her again?
Maybe…
Catch a quick feel?
Shut-up.
Well?
Daryl looked over to her… concentrating on every word with such concern…
Maybe.
But that was the meeting over and Carol was suddenly heading his way, causing the cold bite of fear to tingle over his skin…
There was only one thing to do.
Daryl ran.
()()()
He tried to hide the swagger as he approached the group.
Finally, he had gotten a job he knew he could do… the sting in his knuckles told him he was good at it as he closed on Rick and the others, trying his best not to look at the disappointment on Carols face.
"Your boy there's got a gang," he explained, "thirty men. They got heavy artillery and they aint lookin' to make friends."
The group was silent; all that could be heard were the restless rustling of crickets and Daryl tried hard not to look her way… had to keep his head in the game… where was he..?
"They roll through here," he continued, "our boys are dead and our women are going to wish they were…"
And while the others absorbed what he said he simply couldn't help it… he gave a sideways glance, startled to see Carol already watching him…
His heart fluttered in his chest and he gulped down the sensation, recognising a familiarly bitter look of disappointment in her eye.
And the wonderful, light feeling in his chest shrived, fell in on itself becoming heavy in his stomach.
She knew; knew what he had done to get the information out of Randall… knew what he did was wrong…
And when her eyes met his he realised she was disappointed because she knew he was better than his actions; so he was ashamed.
"What did you do?" She asked… rubbing salt in the wound.
But he didn't have to explain; the blood on his knuckles did it for him, so he replied, "We had a little chat." Then he moved out of the centre to shift their eyes from him.
The others talked about a next move as Carol walked away…
He didn't really hear the rest of the conversation, he just nodded and grunted where he supposed he should until people started leaving…
Would things ever be right again after Sophia?
Could they be?
()()()
That's the world going to hell again little brother, Merle told him as he watched the barn burn to the ground… Ain't nothin' here no more.
So much for home.
One night had changed everything.
Perhaps it was better.
Get away from the farm and that damned barn where Sophia had been for so long…
Stop brooding will you! Merle moaned, You get so quiet and moody when you're like this and you should be high-tailing it down the freeway to the next place.
Daryl felt his head shake; there aint no way he was leaving until he was sure she was out… and he hadn't seen her get out yet…
If she ain't out by now, she's dead, Merle told him.
But Daryl didn't believe that… she was a survivor.
And as the flames consumed the barn, Daryl watched in the hope that it burned away all the pain he had felt since setting eyes on the damned place…
A cry in the night caught his ear and he jerked his head in the direction of the sound…
There was so much noise…
Nah, man, that was different! Merle informed, excitedly, sounded like your girl…
Daryls foot kicked the stand and cranked the bike into action and was off down the track in a hot-second!
Amongst the undead screams and gurgles of rotting throats, her calls were a beacon and he tried to concentrate on her, rather than letting himself feel the true joy of seeing her…
She's lookin' rough, brother, Merle warned…
He was right – she was staggering away from a crowd of walkers, rapidly losing energy…
God but he was so happy to see her!
Focus! Merle shouted in his head, She's alive and that's great; think flowers and fluttering hearts later… she ain't gonna be alive if you don't get her the hell outta here right now!
And he was right; so he pulled up as close as he could and yelled, "C'mon! Ain't got all day!"
Smooth, slick…
But it worked, because she was staggering his way until he reached out and swung her into the back of the bike and felt her small hands grip about him…
Despite himself, his chest swelled with pride; he had saved her…
Yeah, yeah… C'mon Superman, get your hero-butt outta there before some biters make you a round of human carpaccio…
So they were dust…
And they were alive!
Though he must have driven for hours, it felt like minutes as Carols heat spread through his back as her breath warmed his neck and he flew down the road, avoiding walkers, dead cars and anything else that dropped in their path.
So… where you headed cowboy? Merle asked…
Perhaps nowhere… Perhaps he wanted to let this brilliance last a while longer… because, ss vulnerable as they were at this point, he felt on top of the world.
Gonna have to pull yourself together eventually…
Why?
They got out… she was alive, her heat at his back as she gripped him tightly and folded into him…
Man! It felt good.
And what if they got out?
Daryl sighed… Merle was right…
He turned the bike… Carol had no objections… she had, slowly, graduated from a discreet hold on his leathers to a firmer, more claiming hug around his chest and back.
God! Daryl tried not to love it – she was only riding on a bike after all – but that feeling made his insides melt… the idea of the hot breath on his neck-
Focus!
Jeeze… Merle just hated the moment to not be about him…
Not that, dummy!
No?
No, his brothers voice insisted… What's that ahead?
Ah… crap…
Back to reality as he noticed the zig-zagging tail-lights on the road… He'd found Glenn! Outline of the truck matched the one the kid liked so damned much… And the kid was freaked… God-damned truck was weaving about in front of them… so he pulled along-side.
Carol gave an excited yell and tightened her grip… so the save was worth it…
And as much as he tried to hate the idea it wasn't just the two of them any more, he couldn't.
Because they all might have gotten out…
They could all be alive.
And he loved that thought…
Thought I was all you ever needed, Merle asked…
Once, that had been so much more than true… but now?
Carol held him close and yelled against the wind… "You found them! We can make it…"
We can make it? Merle asked…
Yes… they could…
So Daryl signalled Glen.
And they headed back to the only place any of them would think of heading…
To the freeway they found before the farm.
And to the future.
()()()
Currently, the future meant another stretch on the road… and after Rick had admitted holding a pretty damned, honking big secret on them al; the fact they were all infected and now everyone walked again after death…
Don't bother you though, Merle observed.
Daryl felt himself shrug… once he was done being alive, it didn't bother him if he went on autopilot… he just hoped he would never hurt anyone.
Even hours later, huddled about a fire within a crumbling ruin, he dwelled on the idea.
Perhaps it had bothered him.
"We're not safe with him," Carols words drew his attention, "keeping something like that from us…"
It wasn't true, so Daryl didn't answer as Carol gave a cautious check to ensure their privacy…
"Why do you need him? He's just going to pull you down…"
That wasn't fair either, "Nah…" he disagreed, "Rick's done alright by me…" and he kind-of understood his reasons for not wanting to scare people.
"You're his henchman," she countered, sounding sickened at the thought, "and I'm a burden…"
That definitely got his attention; he had never considered her a burden…
"You deserve better," Carol finished.
What the hell was she… "What do you want?"
"A man of honour," her eyes flicked to him and away again…
She wasn't serious! "Rick has honour."
Carol frowned.
He almost hoped she would suggest running away together, but they both knew that being alone in the world wasn't an option any more…
So they spent the rest of the night in silence; never far from one another but not acknowledging the conversation had ever taken place.
They went through the winter that way; walking, hunting and living within earshot of each other…. And as the temperatures fell and winter set in they found comfort in the night by sleeping back-to-back… and if one should turn into the embrace of the other in the night, then it was accepted as a comfort and a small joy in a jagged world.
Daryl enjoyed those moments in the dream-haze of sunrise as he flexed his arms to find Carol snuggled into the protection of his frame.
But, like all dreams, it had to end; they had reached the prison.