Zavala was beginning to wonder why his inbox kept nagging at him. There was no emergency that he was aware of, and yet here were dozens of messages from just as many Guardians pinging into view. They had no subject line, so he was forced to open them one by one. The first was from an experienced Hunter, one that Cayde trusted greatly.
Zavala,
Why didn't the Ghost bring its Guardian on patrols?
It couldn't find anybody!
XOXO Your ~second~ favorite Hunter
The Titan Vanguard frowned. A joke? And a bad one at that. What on earth prompted that Hunter to send something like that? Zavala scanned through the other messages in his inbox; every single one consisted only of terrible puns, sent by Hunters. Closing his messages, the Titan assumed a flat look reserved for one person.
On his way to the hangar, Zavala was stopped by three Hunters, each one armed with an awful joke.
"Hey, Zavala, do you think it would be oCayde if I use this gun in the crucible?"
"Zavala! What did one Thrall say to the other? Nothing! They're both thinking the same thing!"
"Zavala, sir! Wait! I've got a question that's Vexing me!"
Each time he was attacked with a jest, Zavala simply kept walking unperturbed, noticing that the offending Guardians seemed disappointed when he didn't laugh. Entering the hangar, the Titan Vanguard swept his glowing gaze across the assortment of ships and mechanics until he spotted who he was looking for.
"Cayde!"
The Exo in question glanced up from his current conversation, cracking a grin and jogging to meet his comrade. "Hey, Zavala. Anything interesting happening."
Zavala crossed his arms. "I was hoping you would know."
"Ah, yes..." Cayde paused, index finger hovering as he recalled his thoughts. "Right! Soooo I sent out this wager."
"A wager."
"Yes! Yes, a bet, for a thousand glimmer, to make you smile."
Zavala pinched the bridge of his nose. "You made a bet that Guardians could not make me laugh?"
"Yep! Pretty much!" Cayde replied cheerfully.
Zavala was debating punching the Hunter Vanguard in his steel face.
Cayde rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I'm gonna make so much glimmer off these jokers. They won't know what hi-"
A bright red projectile whizzed past Zavala's shoulder and smacked into Cayde's head, knocking the Exo to the ground. Startled, Zavala looked down to see a large tomato impaled dead center on Cayde's horn. The Hunter Vanguard swore, sitting up, and glared at his assailant.
Sitting on top of a ship with a potato gun was a young Awoken Hunter, wearing a huge grin and a pair of suspiciously familiar illegally modded pants.
"I guess now I get a thousand glimmer and another hand cannon round," she called.
As tomato juice ran down Cayde's scowling expression, Zavala couldn't help himself.
He laughed.
A quick A/N: Why a tomato in a potato gun, you ask? Because this is a silly story where the games are made up and the points don't matter. You can't apply logic to this kind of tomfoolery. Mortals... They always overthink everything...