The others were just as happy to see Carol as he expected; they all took their turns hugging her close as if the action would make her all the more real to them and dispel any chance she was a ghost or an illusion.
Rick seemed the most grateful for the news.
Carol all-but melted when the baby was brought forward and she immediately took the girl in her arms before looking about for who she expected… but then the realization took hold.
Daryl hated that dawning as she ran the chances in her head and knew that Lori was gone… he wished he had thought to tell her and save her the moment. But he had been so selfish; wanting their time to be only theirs without even the thought of anyone else.
He watched Carol as she turned to Rick… that split-second cracked reality across her expression as showed her sorrow for Lori's death.
Daryl hated to see the pain she was feeling; but this was life now.
In the days that passed, Carol took more and more time helping to look after ass-kicker, finding joy in her new use for the group.
Daryl supposed it was the best focus for her given the horrors of recent days; he had to admit, the role suited her well. He had come close to asking why she had only had the one child, but figured it was a redundant question that only cause more pain.
What did it matter, after all?
Any decisions made in the life people had before day zero had been burned away; all that could be held-to was what people did after the event.
Everyone was born anew… everything burned away and nothing remained.
Daryl supposed that was devastating to some… but for others, it liberated them.
Looking toward Carol he could almost believe things were going to get better; watching her bounce the baby in her arms… she was radiant. So much change in one person in such a short time he had known her.
This crisis had had killed so many… and reinvented others.
Content-filled moments like this were the points in life where Daryl remembered there was some good in life… him and Carol and little ass-kicker were going to be alright… he was gonna make sure of it.
He was happy.
He kinda liked having a baby about the place; brightened the day… and he had always had a knack for settling the little critters when nobody about the place could.
Daryl didn't know why… he could just take a hold of them and they wriggled into his hold like it was the coziest place to be on the planet.
And he had to admit… he wanted to be a father…
It wasn't something his lifestyle back-in-the-day would have really assimilated.
But even he was more to the eye.
Carol saw that.
It was what made him look again at the housewife from Atlanta… it made a connection; there was more to her than even he could have known.
And she asserted there was more to him…
Perhaps these ashes made more of him.
They burned away all else until there was only the core shining through.
Some didn't make it through the crucible.
Others did.
Each time he held that little baby he knew a new how lucky he was…
And she saw it too.
Carol was impressed; so much so that sometimes she gifted him with that special kinda smile she saved only for him… that smile that showed her melting with happiness from the inside out; the kinda happiness only he could bring her.
So it was inevitable it would all end… and, of course, it did.
Hours and days of contentment came crashing in when a woman arrived at the gates of their prison with a samurai sword and a shopping basket of baby formula.
At the time, Daryl had only the time focused on healing Carol…
But the bigger picture was the entrance of Michonne.
She brought with her the news of Woodbury and The Governor.
She brought with her the news Glen and Maggie were taken.
And Daryl found himself on the rescue team; cross-bow, knives and attitude ready to go.
As he left the prison he told her, "Stay safe." And he meant it. He had no intention of not comin' back for her and the baby she held in her arms as she waited to wave them off…
"Nine lives, remember," she joked, looking away in an attempt to hide the fear in her eye…
She was worried for him… He felt himself grin and wanted to reach out to her… but she shifted the baby in her arms and he realized that any gesture he made now would be as awkward as he felt…
So he left. They had to rescue Glen and Maggie…
Or, at least… that had been the plan…
()()()()
Daryl knew he owed his brother; he had always looked up to Merle… and, until a few months ago, his big brother had always been the one that looked out for him.
That's not true now though, the Merle in his head admitted. You got people carin' about you right now back in that prison… people who looked up to you, needed you, supported you… even love-
How did that work anyways? How comes Merle was alive and well and trailing not three feet in his wake as they clambered through the trees and bushes… but his voice was still in his head, nagging and pestering at him…
A sniff sounded in his head, Don't hurt none to have a second opinion…
Yeah… but I got the real thing right here, Daryl thought. That must mean Merle-in-my-head should stop…
No such luck, son!
Daryl huffed… real or imagined, Merle never was one to make things easy.
Take now… why did he have to go and hurt Glenn and Maggie? Why did he let the Governor drag him down? Why didn't he see through that rotten son-of-a-bitch and get the hell out of there? World was dark enough without turning that way yourself.
It didn't matter, he supposed; Merle had made his choices and Daryl had to live with them… just like always.
And Daryl lost the people he loved for it… just like always.
On he trudged, deeper into the forest.
It wasn't right.
He was becoming something and somebody… he had had to leave it behind.
Daryl had heard prison changed you, but he had never imagined having to spend any time in one… now he couldn't think of anywhere in the world he would rather be.
It took something big to make him realize he had to go back…
Not Merles usual, half-assed racism… or his repugnant commentary on those that Daryl had grown to love… it was when he hadn't wanted to save the family on the road and it was when he tried to steal their food…
Daryl was outraged.
The world had changed.
And Merle hadn't learned a damned thing.
But Daryl had.
()()()()
Couldn't have been more than a few days, a week at most… but Daryl was back at the prison.
He'd realized that life with his brother wasn't enough and that he'd been a fool for leaving the group… for leaving Carol.
Inside-Merle had retreated into his subconscious after he had made the decision to come home… So that left only his honest-to-God, flesh-and-blood brother who seemed changed by his absence.
When Daryl headed for the prison, Merle followed like a little puppy; whined like one too, but still followed.
Being back was just as he'd expected, though there were some new additions.
His cell was the same as he'd left it and he appreciated that. He hadn't been replaced or his stuff thrown out… this was where he belonged.
Daryl needed that reassurance; needed to know that the choice he made was the right one.
Of course, when he heard her footsteps growing louder he knew he should never have left.
Play it cool, he thought, shifting on the bunk and waiting.
Smoothly, slowly, she glided into view, a small smile on her lips at the sight of him.
He tried to seem cool, spending the time wiping clean his arrows… but his heart was racing.
What was he going to say to her… he had to control himself… seem cool and…
She leant against the doorframe, shoulders curving in as she admitted, "I haven't had a chance to say… but I'm glad you came back."
Think of something to reply… something suave… He looked about the cell… "To what?" Daryl began, "All of this?"
They laughed and it was enough to make him forget ever being apart…
"This is your home," she said, approaching and taking seat close to him.
He bit down the natural instinct to flee and simply looked at her.
Think of something to say! He gulped… he couldn't.
Carols smile had his complete attention
"This is a tomb," he admitted.
The look in her eye changed as she tried to shrug off the comment… "That's what T-Dog used to call it."
Daryl found himself nodding, unable to say anything or do anything but watch as she turned her eyes to him and smiled, "I used to think he was right… until you found me."
That familiar grip tightened about his pounding heart, strangling away any words as the moment locked them both in that second, in that chance…
He smiled…
She felt the same as he did! She thought so much of him.
It was overwhelming…
It was frightening.
He couldn't say a thing. Not a damned thing! He tried to make words, but only managed a huff as he looked away and she read the embarrassment and changed subject.
"He's your brother," she said, her tone changing entirely, "but he's not good for you. Don't let him do you down."
The silence swallowed what had passed before as he knew she was telling him the truth; she wouldn't lie to him, after all.
Merle was a big problem… but he was his brother; what was he supposed to do?
Then she rose her head, her elegant neck stretching out tall, "After all," she said, "Look at how far you've come."
Daryl almost nodded, before looking about the cell and giving her a flat look she seemed to understand…
They were in prison.
They both laughed.
And it was good.
He hoped it would never change.