Daryl made his way down the metal stair and noticed Carol in Merles cell.
He slowed his pace, all senses going on alert; too far away to hear a thing, he noted their bodies… how Carol was curled in on herself, half at an angle… vulnerable.
Merle had spread his legs and leaned in with a predatory smile; he thought he had an advantage.
Daryl watched keenly; he'd seen that look before. It was the look Merle gave when he was assessing prey.
He continued down the stair to the bottom, trying to tune his hearing out of the background noise and hear what was being said.
Damn! He never thought the prison such a loud place to be… but now it was like the middle of a monsoon and, try as he might, he was none the wiser…
Merle would have seen him standing there by now, so he took as much space on the ground as he could and tilted his head to try a little harder to hear them.
But no sooner had he begun to hear faint whispers had Carol stood and bid Merle goodbye before leaving. And Daryl wondered what the hell had been said between them.
If Merle had had any kind of advantage he would have been smiling… but his brother looked pale and distant as his eyes met him…
Daryl narrowed his look, trying to convey the idea that he didn't trust his brother with Carol while trying to ignore the implications of that.
And why should he? He knew how Merle treated the women he had been with through his life.
He supposed it made sense… he never looked up to their mom; the way she let their daddy beat on them all rather than take them away. Merle never understood she could never have ran far enough from their father and so all there was for her was depression. He saw it as weakness and not the slow erosion of a person by abuse.
Merle chose his options and left her, just like every other woman.
Daryl lost her. And that fear of loss kept him from truly growing close to anyone.
He wasn't going to lose another.
If Merle got the idea or not, he didn't know.
He just tried not to think on it too much for the rest of the day.
()()()()
Funny the things you find comfort in.
Daryl had been cleaning Merles bike since sunrise… Least he could do was keep it in good condition… Least he could do...
Must have been near mid-morn by the time he looked up from the oil-soaked rags.
It had been a hell of a few days.
Woodbury. The Governor. All the death…
But the thing that stuck with him most was that his brother was gone.
He still couldn't believe it.
After everything Merle had been through in his life… and he was taken down by that cycloptic bastard. It seemed he had gone to kill the enemy.
Dumb and suicidal if you ask me, Merle-in-his-head muttered, sucking his imaginary teeth. Where'd it get me in the end, little brother? One-way-ticked to the trash pile.
Just like that.
And not just gone, but returned from the dead for Daryl to find before he had to kill him.
You had to… Merle-in-his-head comforted, And I'd have thanked you for it.
Perhaps.
Ain't no lie in it… Merle sniffed again, don't believe me, then ask your girl…
God-damn! Merle had noticed Carols approach before he had!
It's cause you're the only one here, dummy, Merle laughed, I'm just back in your head…
Somehow, that was a comfort.
But Carol was still there… so he had to say it…
"Merle never did nothin' like that his whole life," he admitted.
The silence was nice… calming… just knowing she was there.
"He gave us a chance," she said.
And he smiled inside.
She got it.
The others might not of, but Daryl should have known she understood in the end.
So when she offered her hand to him he couldn't help but accept and she pulled him from the ground.
She was soft and gentle, supporting him briefly and leaving him to his grief.
Leave it now, Merle said, it's looking better than I ever made it.
Daryl looked over the bike and began gathering his things and headed for his cell.
What are you doing?
Heading to my bunk, he thought, sighting Carol just a few paces ahead and making for the outter yard…
I am telling you now, son, Daryl stopped mid-track, you wanna do me one last grace… go ahead and put those things down and go take that hand of hers back.
What…
Now!
Before he knew what he was doing, Daryl had fallen in-step with her as they passed through the inner perimeter and looked out over the green and past the fence into the woodland.
She gave him a side-glance and smiled.
It was good.
And they remained there, in that place in the mid-day sun… looking out…
When his fingers brushed hers, he expected her to recoil… but instead her fingers flexed and slid between his until they were palm-to-palm.
Fits nice and snug, Merle commented smugly, I'm gunna sign-out now, little brother…
And Daryl appreciated that.
Carols fingers tightened on his, spreading the warmth of her hand on his skin.
The sound of all the horrors at their fence melted away as he enjoyed the moment… and it could only be a moment; he knew that.
It was made sweeter and his hand was moved to be closed in both of hers as she pressed into his side.
She smelled husky… he supposed they all did these days.
But it was a good scent; he liked it and even took the risk of moving his hand of her hold to replace it with the other and move his arm about her shoulder.
Carols head fitted neatly beneath his chin, like they were a puzzle being made whole.
They made sense being stood there in the light.
It was good.
So he let it be… while he could.
Let them breathe and be held.
Nothing ever lasted in this world… but he knew there were some things that endured.
What he had to do about them eluded him.
It was enough to have her in his arms.
Enough.
And they remained.
()()()
Weeks passed by; even months.
The prison had become a beacon of hope; they had taken in the lost of Woodbury… takined in the loose stragglers of the worlds end as they passed by.
And Daryl was some kind of council-man.
He found it difficult to adjust to the idea…
But people looked up to him.
Him?!
Why not? Merle asked, Ain't got no creed but your gut, little brother… And you're a good man.
Daryl snorted and made his way to find Carol and lunch for the day in the prisons new al-la-cart canteen…
Still couldn't get used to the 'Morning' Daryl' greetings he received… it was odd that all these people who wouldn't have sneezed on him a few years ago were making time to greet him.
He responded as best he could until he reached her at the counter.
Carol was smiling a secret smile that Daryl understood; she was happy for him.
But he was perplexed…
He needed to say something; he looked about the food… "Smells good," he offered.
"Just so you know…" she grinned, serving a bowl of cooked vegetable and meat, "I liked you first…"
He relaxed; she got it. She totally understood his discomfort.
And she did like him.
It made him blush.
"Stop," he pleaded.
And mercy, as she was… did, giving the sweetest chuckle as she demurely looked away.
He liked the way the smile sat on her lips… the way he had put it there.
Daryl preened… standing that bit taller and pushing out his chest… "You know, Rick brought in a lot of them too…"
She gave a slight shake of her head, "Not recently…" She looked back to the food she was preparing, "Give strangers sanctuary… keeping people fed… you're going to have to learn to live with the love…"
He tried to dismiss with a, "That's right."
But she quickly added, "I need you to see something."
All else dropped from his thoughts… what could be wrong now? Months of peace had to come to an end… nothing lasted…
But Carol calmly called, "Patrick, you wanna take over?"
She hadn't even raised her voice, but the kid at the side who Daryl hadn't even noticed, eagerly answered, "Yes Ma'am."
Daryl startled a little… given his keen senses, he had been so focused on his friend, he hadn't even noticed the kid as he moved to take her space, adjusting his glasses and smiling ear-to-ear…
Quickly finishing his bowl and moving close to Carol, Daryl was caught off-guard by the kid quickly saying, "Mr Dixon?"
Took a moment for Daryl to realise it was for hims.
Merle-in-his-head chortled, Mr Dixon? Bailiff used to call our Pa that few weeks after he got his pay!
Daryl looked about and hesitated…
"I just wanted to thank you," Patrick continued, "for bringing that deer in yeaterday…"
Daryl looked to Carol for support… all she did as smile…
"It was a real treat, sir…" the kid continued, "and I'd be honoured to shake your hand…"
What?
Not having the first clue, Daryl looked to his hand; covered in food juices…
And did what he could he do?
Licking the remnants from his fingers, surprised the kid didn't recoil from his actions, Daryl accepted his hand in a strong shake…
Damn it, the kid was beyond delighted! Smiling and treating him like a TV star… blushing and gushing… What in the hell was this about?
Daryl couldn't handle it…
He looked to Carol.
And the world was suddenly right.
It was as though everything she had ever told him about his worth was being affirmed and she knew it… Just that smile…
What else was there to do?
He smiled at the kid, extracting his hand… and followed Carol away from the confusion…
Damn, son! Merle laughed, Can I have your autograph?
Fuck off.
She kept ahead of him, heading to the east of the yard and toward the fence…
Daryl wondered if he could catch up enough to take her hand… he hadn't felt her skin in days and wanted to remember what it felt like…
But she was suddenly saying, "About today…I don't know if we're going to spare a lot of people for the run…"
Damn, he had to focus…
He stuffed another handful of food in his mouth and told her his group was good-to-go, watching as she stopped at the corner of one of the clearer fences…
She told him there had been a build-up… but Daryl was surprised at the number of Walkers gathering at their gate.
Carol ran the numbers… they were surrounded…
He started to think on the problem… think on ways about it… think on how to solve it… think like the dead…
Carol was shrugging at this point and telling him, "It's manageable, but unless we get ahead of it – not for long…"
He agreed…
Then she turned to him and said, "Sorry Pooky…"
A flush rushed through him and he grinned like a school-kid with candy… giving her a shove and moving away before the blood coursing through him turned from his cheeks and moved elsewhere…
He was only a few paces behind him and by his side a lot sooner…
So he figured, why not?
The first stretch of his left hand out toward her searched for contact and recoiled at the feeling of her skin brushing his… but as he tried to snatch away she took hold, spreading her fingers between his as though they should have always fit there.
It was nice.
Made the word about them quiet and blur at the edges…
They walked like that, hand-in-hand, until they had to part and Carol looked to him, a glint in her eye… and he finished his food, handing her the empty bowl and licking his fingers…
Her eyes shot to his lips… and the moment slowed as he sucked the last juice away, pursing as his tongue darted out to taste the last…
They both held themselves there in that breath…
His heart slowed and the moment stretched…
Why don't you just kiss her?
Why didn't he? It's not like he hadn't before…
So when his fingers found their way to stroking her cheek, he was surprised he was even in control of himself…
And when she closed her eyes and moved into the touch of him, Daryl couldn't help but breathe out the tension he had felt in the fear of her dismissal as a sigh…
Carols eyes opened a little, misty and content…
Daryl felt a sudden swell.
Could they do this?
Really?
But the look in her eye cooled… and she shifted her face more certainly into his palm, delivering a kiss there before moving away.
Now wasn't the time.
She knew he needed more…
And he did…
Uncomfortably, he moved away… not wanting to, but not knowing how to move it forward…
So he finished his food bowl and handed it over as she smiled, turned and left.
Perhaps next time will be easier, Merle consoled.
Easy wasn't a thing these days knew…
Daryl got that.
So did she…