The group was asleep a few feet away; Carol had volunteered to stand watch… so what else was he to do?
The first hour passed in silence…
Just like the second…
And third…
He kept thieving little glances of her, taking notes of the change in her; she looked harder somehow… more determined… smooth, like a sharpened steel.
Daryl wondered on that. Something had happened to forge her into this new shape.
But her face, her eyes and her smile were the same when she looked on him.
And it was good. Made him realise that, in the end, no changes in her meant a damn; he was still happy to see her.
In this age that meant the world; he'd sit there in silence until the end of the time if it meant it was beside her.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said.
And he realised he'd been staring a little too long.
"I can't…"
So she did need to talk after all.
Probably about them girls, Merle chimed in, and how they aint here no more…
Shut up, Daryl willed, only wanting to listen… maybe ease her pain…
"I just need to forget about it…"
For now, he got that…
Some stuff was better left to the stars until the time was you couldn't ignore it no more…
There are other ways you could distract her, Little Brother…
Shut-
And almost as though she had heard the comment, Carols head snapped about to look him in the eye.
Daryl swallowed hard, "Alright…"
She smiled; it was a small, untrue smile… trying to convey she was grateful but not managing to battle through the guilt and pain so close to the surface… then she looked away, knowing he saw right through it.
He bit his lip, worrying on how to help her if she wouldn't let him.
Just shut your mouth, dummy. All she needs is you right here… it's enough.
Perhaps Merle was right.
A sound caught his attention; the rustle of leaves and snap of twigs underfoot…
Daryl was on his feet in an instant, signalling Carol to stay behind him while he assessed the situation…
The trees were silent.
Seemed the moment had been broken… and he confirmed, "There's nuthin'."
He heard her sigh and tried not to allow unexpected reactions to the sound overcome him; his heart skipped as his skin tingled…
Words from him makin' her sigh like that…
He had to control himself.
Why? Merle asked.
Shut-up!
Daryl turned to her, "You ok."
Her smile came through true this time, eyes soft and stance unguarded… "I will be."
He would make sure of it.
"C'mere…" she asked him.
And what else could he do but go to her and she to him until they were toe-to-toe, breathing the same air and looking into each other's eyes.
He held his breath…
Carol seemed to be blinking quickly herself; was she as effected by him as he seemed to be by her.
What you gonna do now?
He wasn't really sure…
The tips of her fingers brushed his and, before he knew it he had gathered her in his arms.
Her eyes widened, pupils as wide as they could go, making his heart pick up a pace, increasing his breathing, shooting blood and oxygen through his body…
They were so close they shared the same air, from her breath to his, her scent drew deep into his lungs and he sighed, watching her lips part slightly…
No sooner had he thought of how much he wanted to know what it was to taste those lips had he registered the press of her skin and the heave of her bust at his chest.
Who had kissed whom didn't matter as he urged her closer, pulling at her elbows to throw her arms over his shoulders, ecstatic to feel her nails rake up through his hair, grip there and pull him further into their embrace.
He let his hands roam about her waist and press up her back; going on instinct rather than experience, taking the added pressure on her grip or the sigh into his mouth as a confirmation…
And his mouth… kissing wasn't something he was used to; the few women he had kissed had told him he was good… but they had to say that, didn't they?
Didn't they?
He never really felt like he knew what he was doing… but they kept coming back for more… that might just mean he was good. And Daryl wanted to be good at kissing for her…
He tried not to think on it… just attempted to caress Carols tongue as she explored and darted about his in equal measure.
She must have been liking it; she gripped him all the tighter.
And he, so concerned with her enjoyment, forgot himself and let his hands fall to the roundness of her breast, pressing down and around to take a firm hold of her ass.
She moaned…
He made her moan!
The sensation flushed through him, pounding blood and adrenaline through his veins.
He'd never felt so aware of every inch of his skin as he was at that moment… pressed to her…
Until she pulled away and buried her head in his heaving chest.
"Not right now…" she whispered… leaning into him and rubbing her head beneath his chin like a cat… "I'm sorry."
His blood cooled…
Daryl tried to control himself; he wasn't ready either…
"It's ok…" he soothed, his hands weaving into an embrace.
It was going to be ok.
It had to be.
()()()
It had been a day or two.
Daryl had tried not to think on it…
Their kiss.
Hadn't been too successful on it, but thankfully, head-Merle had remained silent on the subject.
Truly… he had had trouble thinking on anything else…
Thinking on her soft, roundness… the way she smelled… the way she tasted… her sighs…
So as soon as there was a chance to spend some time with Carol he had jumped at it.
They'd walked for a time in silence; down to the fresh water and back again to the group…
She still wasn't right… wasn't whole.
Daryl couldn't figure it.
It had to be about the girls… Had they turned? Had she had to kill them?
Why wasn't she talking to him? He was the one he always spoke to. He was the one who was always there for her.
Had things changed so much?
Was trying for something more worth losing what they had?
Daryl risked another look to her.
She was in pain.
It hurt him deeply.
And he decided there and then that their kiss could be forgotten… at least until she was healed…
"I get it," he finally said… "You don't wanna talk about it."
Didn't want to talk about leaving the group. Didn't want to talk about saving the group. Didn't want to talk about their last kiss…
But he had to know… "You ok?"
She was silent a moment before looking at him, "Gotta be."
Carol was right.
These days you had to pull it all in or let it consume you like everything else did in this world…
It was all a mess in his head and he found himself saying, "We need to start over…" and he hoped to make it less about them by saying, "All of us… with each other."
He wasn't making it better… so he added, "You saved us all… by yourself."
There weren't the words to thank her and she shrunk away when he mentioned her success.
"We got lucky," Carol shrugged it off, "We should all be dead."
She wasn't wrong.
They walked on a little without words for a moment.
Carols head snapped up, seeing something in the road…
A car…
"I'll check it," she stated.
"Alright," he agreed.
While they ran over the car for use and supplies… he watched her.
She was going through the motions, almost like the undead herself. It wasn't good. She seemed cut off… absent… there was something missing… so he had to say… "Hey… we ain't dead…"
Carol stopped what she was doing and looked to him… so vulnerable… waiting to see what he might say to make it better… to make the suffering and the pain mean a damn.
And what could he say? "Whatever happened, happened." Was this helping?
She was listening and that had to be a start…
So he continued with, "We'll start over…"
Carol turned to him, "I want to."
Right then… "Well, you can." And he meant it.
Damn… the world was constantly changing these days… what did it all mean anyways?
She was good. She was strong. She survived. And she was perfect…
She had to be ok.
So he could forget everything to wipe the slate for her.
He would.
But she turned away, focusing on a spare battery she had found in the boot of the car.
"We should leave this here for back-up in case things go south at the church," she explained.
Daryl was floored… had she even heard a word he had said?
There was hope… That was the point… But she was still thinking they needed an escape plan…
He supposed she was right to be cautious. After all, it didn't hurt none.
So there was that clean-slate he'd been so keen on...
Damn…