"Are you sure your daughter won't mind? I don't want to scare her."
She turned around, astonished at the sincerity in his voice. He sounded really concerned. Concerned about Trixie's feelings.
"She was pretty cool about it when I explained the situation. I told her you're the same old Lucifer, you just don't remember all the things we did together." She wasn't so sure though, anymore. If he really was the same old Lucifer. "She was scared back when I told her you'd gotten hurt, so it will be good for her to see that you're feeling better."
"Really?" Now that was sadly familiar. The genuine surprise in his voice whenever there was a mention of somebody actually being concerned about his well-being.
They arrived at the front door of her place. Lucifer carried only a small suitcase, which had taken Chloe by surprise as well. She would have been less surprised if a moving van filled with nothing but suits had materialized at her front door. She turned around to face her guest, giving him her best I'm sure this will all turn out well, don't worry about it smile. "Ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
They managed to get a couple of feet inside before hearing a delighted squeal of "Lucifer!", followed by a little whirlwind launching herself at him, hugging him around the legs.
Lucifer made a surprised "Omph" noise. After a moment, he leaned down to gently pry her arms from his legs, and Chloe had time to think so he hasn't changed that much after all before he lifted Trixie up in his arms, which she immediately took advantage of to give him a proper hug. He smiled, genuinely pleased.
Chloe just stared at the two of them, Trixie's small form hugged tightly around Lucifer's chest, both of them smiling, radiating a sort of content happiness that she had never once seen in Lucifer before, and her heart might have skipped a beat or two.
Oh, what the hell, she thought and crossed the small space to join the two of them in their embrace. Trixie lifted her head from Lucifer's chest to yell delightedly "Group hug!", and Chloe thought for a moment that she might start to giggle. Or cry. Or both. But then she had a sobering thought. Once he got his memories back, he would distance himself from Trixie again. Her daughter wouldn't understand the change in his behaviour and she would feel hurt.
Chloe pulled back out of the hug. Lucifer gave her a questioning glance, but she just shook her head.
"Where's Maze?", she asked her daughter. Lucifer reluctantly sat Trixie down.
"In her room", Trixie admitted.
"Hm. I'll have to discuss with her that watching you actually entails watching you."
"Oh, please don't be mad at her, she just left a minute ago." Trixie gave her a pleading look. Then she apparently remembered something. "Oh! There is something I wanted to show you!" She grabbed Lucifer's hand and tried to drag him off to her room. Lucifer gave Chloe a look. She expected it to be panicky, or at least pleading her not to be left alone with Trixie, but he actually looked questioning, like he was asking her permission. She smiled encouragingly at him and he let himself be dragged away by her daughter.
Chloe just stood there for a moment, wondering what was going on with Maze. She'd thought Maze would have been thrilled that Lucifer came to stay with them, but Chloe realized belatedly that she had never actually consulted her roommate on the matter. She had simply informed her about it and Maze had been very monosyllabic in reply. Chloe had attributed it to her Maze-ness at the time.
Well, she was getting to the bottom of this. She knocked on the door to Maze's room.
"Come in."
The words might have been come in but her tone suggested stay as far away as you can might be the better option. Ah well, Chloe Decker had never been one to shy away from danger. She braced herself and opened the door.
Maze lay on her bed, munching on a bag of chips. When Chloe entered, Maze gave her a glare which might, quite possibly, have killed a small mammal on the spot. Chloe swallowed around a sudden lump in her throat.
"Hey", she said, suddenly at a loss about how to start this conversation. Maze returned her gaze to the ceiling and resumed eating.
"So, um, Lucifer is here." No reaction from her roommate. "I thought I'd tell you so you can say hi."
"Pass", came the grumbled reply from the bed.
Chloe crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Maze, what's going on?"
"Oh, like you care."
Chloe rolled her eyes. Fantastic. As if she didn't have enough temper tantrums to deal with on a regular basis already. "I'm sorry I didn't consult you before making this decision. I thought you'd be fine with Lucifer moving in. Did something happen between you two?"
Maze jumped up from the bed in one swift movement and invaded her personal space. "Why are you all acting like everything is fine?"
Chloe was taken aback. "What?"
"You, Amenadiel, even Linda. It's like you're all happy that he's now this boring, diminished shadow of his former self. It's like I've lost my friend but I'm not allowed to be upset about it, because he's still here, even though he's really not." She paused, fuming. "Now look what you did! You made me talk about my feelings." She said the word as if they were something particular nasty she'd found under her shoe.
"Maze, I had no idea-"
"Whatever. I'm going out." Maze grabbed her jacket, which she'd thrown over a nearby chair, and was out the door before Chloe could say another word. She heard the front door shut with a bang.
Chloe stared after her. Was she doing everything she could to help Lucifer? She had told him some stories about their cases together, but so far nothing had jostled any memories. She thought about Maze's accusation. Lucifer seemed like a completely different person now, but Chloe couldn't help but wonder how much of this new persona had always been there, hiding. And he appeared to be happier now. Was it really wrong of her to enjoy seeing him like this? Damn, as if things hadn't been complicated enough already.
She left Maze's room, worrying her bottom lip, wondering when her life had become so complex. Lucifer and Trixie made a reappearance, with her sitting on his shoulders. He had to bent ridiculously low to get through the door frame without Trixie hitting her head, and her daughter giggled and pretended to fall off. Lucifer caught her easily and set her back on the ground. And it was all so normal and simple that it made her heart ache. Lucifer gave her another worried glance but Chloe just vaguely waved her hand, shrugging it off.
He behaved the entire day and when she put sheets on the couch for him he didn't make a single remark about preferring to stay in her bedroom or some such, and maybe, maybe, this hadn't been the disastrous idea she thought it was.
He didn't know where he was. Everything was white, soft light around him. There were noises, laughter, the rustle of feathers, soft voices. He was floating and at peace, and then it was all snatched away in a heartbeat. He was falling into the void, flailing helplessly, terrified, yearning for the moment of impact, just so the falling would finally, finally, stop, but it never came. He fell, and fell, and minutes passed, hours, years, eons and he screamed in terror-
He bolted upright screaming, covered in sweat. Chloe was by his side already, talking to him in a soothing voice but he didn't seem to hear her. He looked around wildly, still in the grip of his nightmare. Finally his eyes found Chloe and there was a spark of recognition in them. His arms went around her, crushing her to his chest. Chloe couldn't breath for a moment. He held her so tightly it actually hurt. When she managed to get her breath back, she said "Ouch". He seemed to come back to himself a little at that. Clearly terrified of hurting her even more, he dropped his arms and tried to scoot away from her, but she didn't let him go, drawing her arms around him in turn.
She whispered soothing nonsense into his ear, drawing her hand through his hair slowly, trying to comfort him as best she could. He was shaking, soft tremors running through him. Chloe remembered the scars on his back and wondered, not for the first time, what had been done to him, what he had to endure. She imagined Lucifer as a small boy, innocent, insecure, and she was suddenly filled with a blinding hot rage at whoever had hurt him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", he mumbled into her neck.
"It's fine. I'm fine", she tried to reassure him, but his arms remained limply at his sides, his hands curled into fists, as if he were afraid of his own strength.
He pulled his head back a little and she let him. He looked at her and even in the dim light, she could see the panic in his eyes. "What's wrong with me?"
"Your memories will come back in time, it's-"
Lucifer shook his head. "I don't mean the amnesia. It's- I'm- There's something wrong with me." He finished lamely, unable to describe the terrifying feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Chloe put her hands on his face and met his eyes. The anger at whoever had tormented him flared up again, but she pushed it down. "There's nothing wrong with you." He gave a disbelieving snort that sounded almost like the old Lucifer. It was a big improvement over his terrified state, at least. "True, you might have a few quirks-" He raised his eyebrows. "Fine, more than a few. But the point is that you have my back. I trust you. You're a good man." She smiled. "How many times do I have to tell you before you'll start believing me?"
He grinned, some of the fear leaving his eyes. "I think I can do with hearing it a couple more times." Chloe leaned back, relieved at the change in his state of mind.
"Are we very different?" He sounded thoughtful now instead of panicked.
"Hm?"
"Me and him. How I used to be."
Great. Out of one minefield right into the next one. Chloe didn't reply immediately, giving the question some thought. "On the surface, yes. But I always thought there was more to him- more to you than met the eye." She tried to stifle a yawn. It was an ungodly hour, after all. "Can we deal with this existential crisis in the morning?", she asked, going for levity.
He rewarded her with a small smile. "Detective, I'm sure you know that-" He glanced at his phone on the table."-4 AM is the perfect time for an existential crisis."
She returned his smile, stretched her arms, and made a move to get up, when she caught a flash of his earlier panic cross his features. He masked it quickly, but there was no doubt about it, even in the dim light. She sat back down with a sigh. Sleep was overrated anyway.
Lucifer gave her a grateful smile and leaned back against the couch, getting comfortable. "Would you tell me the story of how we met?"
Chloe awoke with a nasty pain in her neck. She lifted her head, groaned, and started rubbing a hand against the back of her neck. She was lying on top of Lucifer, who had somehow managed to squeeze his tall frame into the confines of her couch. It didn't look very comfortable and she was sure he would have a neck pain to rival her own when he woke up.
She looked to her left and had to smile. Trixie had joined them at some point during the early hours of the morning, lying next to her on top of Lucifer's chest, one arm and leg draped over Chloe. How Lucifer was still breathing, let alone sleeping, with the weight of both of them crushing his chest was beyond her.
She dropped her head back down, resting it against the nape of Lucifer's neck once more. He turned his head slightly in her direction at the contact, but his breathing continued on evenly, his sleep undisturbed. She should probably get up. Get up, brush her teeth, have a shower, drink some coffee, get Trixie ready. Also, her neck would probably just get worse if she stayed in this cramped space. Yeah, she would get up. Just 5 more minutes.