Chloe had meant to get home earlier, feeling bad about having left Lucifer to fend for himself, but work got in the way. She even had to call in a favour from Maze to pick Trixie up from school. When she finally unlocked her front door, she was surprised to be greeted by the sound of cheerful conversation.
Trixie, Maze and Lucifer were sprawled out on the floor, each with a pair of cards in front of them. There was a pile of chips next to each of them. The edible kind.
Chloe glared first at Maze, then at Lucifer. The latter had the decency to flinch, whereas Maze just grinned back at her. "Are you two teaching my daughter how to play poker?"
"Actually, Trixie taught us a couple of new tricks", Maze said smugly.
Chloe's mouth fell open and she turned to her daughter, who looked chagrined. "Trixie?"
"It's not like we're playing for money", Trixie said defensively.
"Who do I have to thank for this?", Chloe inquired. Her daughter remained silent. "Trixie? Please tell me the truth."
"Don't be mad. I asked her to teach me. Grandma was just-"
"Of course", Chloe said, sighing, "why am I not surprised?"
"Buy-in?" Maze asked, holding up a bag of chips, attempting to diffuse the building tension.
Chloe glared at her, but then she looked back at the other two, seeing identical expressions reminding her of kicked puppy dogs. She sighed. She hated to always have to be the bad guy, while others got to be the fun adults. Maybe she would make an exception. Just this once. She could be fun to. It wasn't gambling if there was no money involved, right?
Chloe sat down next to the others, grabbed the bag from Maze and opened it. Maze gave her a delighted but surprised look, as if she couldn't believe that strategy had actually worked, while Lucifer and Trixie gave her a matching set of surprised smiles. Looking at them, Chloe imagined how it would be if these two joined forces all the time. She probably would be helpless to resist the combined adorableness. It didn't seem too terrible a fate.
Trixie had been sent to bed quite a while ago, proudly carrying off her winnings to be consumed at a later date. Maze had to leave because of some emergency at the club. There had been an awkward moment when she turned to Lucifer with a questioning expression but he ignored her, clearly unwilling to get involved with the club business in any way. The budding friendship between the two of them had been tested, and Maze had left in a huff.
Now, it was only Chloe and Lucifer, locked in a heads up battle neither was willing to concede. Lucifer yawned, and Chloe noticed for the first time the dark circles under his eyes, and took pity on him.
"How about we call it quits?"
"Detective!", he said, voice laced with mock shock, "You're giving up? That's disappointing."
"Hey now, nobody said anything about giving up. You're lucky I've allowed you to hold on to your chips as long as you have", she said, grinning at him confidently. "But, you know, some of us have to go to work tomorrow."
"Please. I've got you exactly where I want you", he said, grinning. The line and the grin reminded her starkly of the old Lucifer. She felt a sudden, unexpected pang in her chest. She examined the feeling more closely and was shocked to discover that she actually missed him. The real him. How was that even possible? Technically, he was still sitting right there in front of her. And besides, wasn't he a lot nicer now? Considerate of people's feelings. Actually interested in spending time with Trixie. How could she possibly miss his egocentric, womanising old self? Maybe she just longed for things to return to the way they were. Not that their relationship had been any less complicated before this whole thing unfolded.
"You know, if you're not going to pay attention, we might as well put an end to this."
Chloe's attention snapped back to the game. "Sorry, got distracted for a second."
She stared at the flop, trying to remember her hand, then gave up and checked the two face-down cards in front of her, earning her a raised eyebrow from Lucifer. She absent-mindedly reached for some chips to munch on. They happened to be part of Lucifer's stack. "Hey! Thief!", he exclaimed, outraged, and shoved her hand away playfully.
"You know, I bought these, so technically they are mine", she said, reaching for the chips again. He lightly grabbed her arm, stopping her. Both of them looked down to his hand on her arm at the same time, then up again, meeting each other's eyes, and suddenly they were way too close.
He let go of her arm and both of them drew back abruptly. They started talking at the same time.
"It's getting late-"
"I shouldn't keep you up-"
"Right."
"Right."
They stood up in a rush. Chloe retreated towards her bedroom. "Okay then, goodnight." She was in her room, the door safely closed behind her, before he even had a chance to reply.
Chloe lay awake, glaring at the ceiling. Why did everything have to be so complicated? What did he want? What did he want before he lost his memories? For that matter, what did she want? About one thing she was certain: Nothing was going to happen between them until he got his memories back. She wouldn't let anything happen. Otherwise she would feel like she was taking advantage of him. What if there was a reason why he didn't want to be with her (the thought left a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach) and had just forgotten about it? Once he recovered it would be Candy all over again. She shuddered at the memory. No, it was better not to let things get out of hand.
All this thinking was making her thirsty. Or maybe it was those salty chips right before bed. She checked the water bottle she had stashed next to her bed but of course it was empty. Which meant she would have to get up to get some water. Which meant she would have to walk past Lucifer. Maybe she wasn't that thirsty after all.
Thirty minutes later, she was still lying awake. Her mouth was completely dry, which surely was just her mind playing tricks on her. She sighed. This was ridiculous. She would stand up and get some water. She'd quickly sneak past without so much as a glance in his direction.
She opened the bedroom door quietly, tiptoeing in the direction of the kitchen. And she would have made it, if Lucifer hadn't made a small movement. The sudden noise in the quiet room made her turn her head toward him. He was lying on his side, knees drawn up, one arm covering his eyes. And he just looked so- forlorn. And small, somehow. Small? Get a grip of yourself, woman!, she thought. After all, there had been many a day when she had come home with a hell of a neck pain. From looking up at her freakishly tall partner all day. He was as far from small as you could possibly get.
"Something I can help you with?" Lucifer moved his arm slightly, one eye now peeking out from under it. His words were meant to be teasing, but there was something in his voice which reminded her of his first night at her place, when he had woken up from his nightmare.
"Just getting some water", she said and fled to the kitchen.
When she walked back, she chanced another glance in his direction. Big mistake. He was sitting up, hunched over, elbows on his knees, drawing his hands through his hair. She used to think it annoying that he was always so sure of himself. Now, she wished he would have some of his old bravado back. She wasn't sure how to handle him letting her see his vulnerability. She wondered if it had appeared with the amnesia or if it had always been there, hidden under a carefully constructed personality.
"If you're not careful you're going to stare a hole into the back of my head." It was the same as before, the words were meant to be light and playful, but the tone of his voice betrayed his real state of mind.
She sighed and sat down next to him. "Tell me how to help you."
He threw up his hands in defeat. "I don't know! I just keep thinking over and over again about the things I've done and why I could possibly have done them and what's going to happen if I get my memories back."
She caught his hands and softly pushed them down to his lap, covering them with hers. "You're obsessing over this. Whatever happens, happens. Don't stress about it."
"That's easier said than done", he said, meeting her eyes.
She nodded. "True. Okay. You know, the old you might have had flaws, but he was very good at living in the present. Maybe you should give that a try. Just to- I don't know -do what feels right in the moment. Don't obsess over every action."
He took a deep breath, clearly steeling himself for something.
"Okay", he said, and kissed her.