Lucifer sat in the restaurant, brooding. He'd told Chloe that he needed some air, needed some time on his own to come to terms with everything that had happened. He sipped on his coffee, watching the other patrons absent-mindedly. There was a young couple sitting across from him that was clearly in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, unable to tear their eyes away from each other. Next to him an elderly couple was bickering over some item on the menu, apparently disagreeing on whether or not it contained gluten. A bit further back was a family with two young kids. One of them was busy throwing a temper tantrum, pushing every single thing off the table that was within his reach.

Lucifer envied each and every one of them with a ferocity that was almost physically painful. What he wouldn't give to be one of them. What he wouldn't give for his biggest worry to be about a mortgage, or a job interview or whether or not something on the menu had gluten. What would that be like?

Maybe it was time to admit that that was just not in the cards for him. That no matter what happened, he would never be one of them. Maybe it was time to face the truth. He remembered that first moment after he saw the wings all too well. He couldn't recall any of the memories that had assaulted him then, but he remembered with perfect clarity the emotions that had come with them. Anger. Hurt. Pain. Rejection. Anguish. He was terrified of regaining his memories and having to live through all of that all over again. Why couldn't he have remained ignorant? It would have been better if he had just turned out to be insane, he thought bitterly. Then maybe there would have been a chance to be healed of his affliction, however remote. But there was no salvation for the devil.

He sighed. The only thing that made the whole misery of his existence bearable was the astounding fact that Chloe continued to stand by his side, apparently unfazed by the knowledge of his origins. How, he had no idea. He wasn't sure if he could have been so supportive, had their roles been reversed. She must have been shocked by what happened almost as much as him. And yet, she continued to help him. And he was intensely grateful for it. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he had been on his own.

Maybe it was time to stop complaining about all the things that didn't make sense in his life and instead start being grateful for what he did have. But what if he got his memories back, and it changed him, and Chloe didn't want anything to do with him anymore? He didn't think he would be able to handle losing her on top of everything else. Weren't things fine the way they were now? Why risk what he had with Chloe?

He rubbed his hands over his eyes tiredly. It was quite possible that he was overthinking things. Then again it wasn't everyday that one found out that they're the devil, so maybe he could cut himself some slack and allow himself to be freaked out. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. It really all came down to the qustion, did he want his memories back or not? Was he ready to face the person he had been before all of this happened?

Chloe paced back and forth in the living room worriedly. It was already evening and she hadn't heard a single thing from Lucifer all day. Worse, when she tried to text him she had discovered that he'd left his phone at her place, so she had no way of contacting him. He'd told her that he needed some time, but it was getting quite late. She couldn't help but be worried about him. What if his wings had popped out in public? What if he freaked out about what had happened? He'd seemed calm enough when he'd left, but who knows what had been going on in his head.

There was a knock on the front door and Chloe breathed out a sigh of relief. She rushed over to the door, opening it in a hurry. And there was Lucifer, giving her a shy smile. It was silly, because he was a grown man, and he didn't even live here, and of course he had every right to vanish for a day without being reachable, but still she couldn't stop herself from launching herself forward and embracing him tightly. He made a small noise of surprise, clearly not having anticipated her action. Then his arms came around her and he lowered his head to rest on top of hers.

"I was worried about you", she admitted, voice muffled slightly by his shirt.

"Sorry. I had a lot on my mind."

"Well, why can't you have a lot on your mind at-" She barely stopped herself in time from saying home. "-here."

His chest vibrated slightly with his chuckle. "I'll take that under advisement."

They stayed silent for a few moments, breathing each other in. She could somehow smell the ocean breeze on him. Maybe that's where he'd been.

"I've made a decision", he said out of nowhere, voice serious. Chloe remained where she was, hugged against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I want to try to get my memories back."

She pulled back at that, chancing a look up at him. "That's not what your face says", she quipped. It was true, he looked very much unconvinced by his own statement. He chuckled again, shaking his head.

"There's no keeping secrets from you, is there, detective? I may still have some -um- reservations. But I want to try."

"You can tell me what's worrying you." She pulled back entirely, adding hastily, "Only if you want to, of course."

He fidgeted around nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot. They were still standing in the doorway for all the world to see.

"How about you come in first?", she said, stepping aside, giving him a reassuring smile.

He walked in, and sat down on the couch. He was still radiating nervous energy, so Chloe sat down close to him, putting her hand over his, trying to let him know that he had no reason to be nervous around her. He gave her a grateful smile.

"It's silly", he said, running his free hand through his hair, ruffling up the part that hadn't already be ruffled up thoroughly by the ocean breeze. Chloe suppressed the sudden urge to run her own hand through it.

"No, it's not. Whatever you're feeling is important. I want you to be sure that you're doing what's best for you and not just what you think is required of you somehow."

He nodded. "I'm scared that- I- when they-" , he motioned towards his back with his free hand, "-when they made an appearance I recalled some moments from my past and it was all- it was all associated with so many bad emotions. I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with all of them."

He hesitated, and Chloe waited, sensing that there was something else bothering him.

"But that's not what scares me the most. I think if you- we- I think I might be able to handle remembering. But I'm terrified of what will happen to me. I know you say me and him are the same person, but that's just not true. I was so very different before. He did whatever he wanted with no regard to who it might hurt. He slept with somebody else every night without sparing them another thought the next morning. I'm not that person. And with the memories he will come back, and I will just disappear. I won't exist anymore."

His voice took on a slightly panicky note with the last sentences. She started to slowly stroke her thumb over the back of his hand, trying to reassure him.

"Listen to me, Lucifer. Do you think I would have worked with that kind of a person?" She took a deep breath, picking her words carefully, needing him to understand. "You know how sometimes people wish to be somebody else? Sometimes bad things happen and people shield themselves and pretend to be untouchable, or shallow, or that nothing gets to them. I always thought that there was more to you than the carefree playboy persona you showed to the world. You always had more depth than that. You always cared, about people being treated fairly, about people having a choice, about evil-doers being punished. Who you are now is not that different from who I always suspected was hidden behind that character you created for yourself. In fact, I believe you are the most you now that you've ever been. When you get your memories back, you won't disappear, because you've always been there. You will remember all the things that made you hide behind the mask of Lucifer Morningstar, club owner in the first place, but it will be your choice to put it on again or not."

He stared at her, mouth agape. "Do you really believe all that?", he asked, wonder in his voice.

She put her other hand to join the first on top of his, looking him straight in the eye, willing him to believe the truth.

"Yes, I do."

He swallowed and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.

"And if I-", his voice was thick with emotion, "-if, after I remember, for whatever reason, should choose to behave like him, like that, again, would you still- I mean-" He stopped, unable to put into words what he meant to ask her.

Chloe took a deep breath and decided that there really was no point in holding anything back after everything she'd just told him. "If that happens, then I will still care about you, as I have always cared about you, and we'll figure things out from there."

He was silent for a long moment.

"Okay", he said finally.

"Okay?"

"Okay, I'm ready. How do we go about this?"

"Are you sure that's what you really want?"

"Yes."

"Then I think our first step is talking to Linda."

He nodded, and she smiled at him, hoping that this really was what was best for him.