Confession

Disclaimer: If you wanna read something by J.K. Rowling, then stop reading. (Jk please keep reading pls)

also forgot to mention this is after OOTP and Sirius is alive because I can't stand Sirius being dead

Ron, Harry, and Hermione were soon going to leave Hogwarts, because on that faithful (sarcasm) Saturday night was the last day of school. Harry had gotten numerous apologies from Ron but he just shrugged it off.

Always laughing. Always smiling. On the outside, anyways. Everyday, it's the same old voices telling him the same words, and they were really doing an effect on him. They were going to Sirius' house, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, and he was glad that Sirius adopted him. He finally didn't have to live with his abusive relatives anymore! and Harry was sorta glad that his friends were coming along with him, at least for a few weeks, anyway. On the other hand, he mentally scolded himself for letting these dark thoughts get to him.

After a few days of his pup residing in his home, Padfoot noticed strange behavior from his godson. He noticed that Harry would play with his food for a while and he talked very little about his relatives, if he was asked. He could also sense a sort of magic lingering whenever he was near his godson, but he never knew what was the cause.

Sirius decided that it would be best to ask Harry's best friends, Ron and Hermione. It was only reasonable, right? Besides, they should know something strange about his behavior, because they're the best of friends.

"Ron, Hermione, can I talk to you?" Padfoot asked them in an inside voice once he had finally gotten his godson to sleep. He sent Harry to sleep a little earlier than normal. On the outside Harry feigned an annoyed feeling, but on the inside he was glad to get more sleep. Not that he could sleep well anyways.

"Sure, sir, what could we help you with?" Hermione asked politely, putting down her mug of hot chocolate. Ron rolled his eyes on his crush's kindness, but on the inside he still felt awful about what he said to Harry.

Sirius had a small grin in his face. "Hermione, just call me Sirius, please." He said, and said girl nodded sheepishly. "And as for what you could help me with, well.. Have you noticed anything strange about Harry recently?"

Ron nearly choked on his hot chocolate. He did, actually. Well, ever since the talk on Saturday night. He noticed he was quieter, and more... Distant, per se. He felt bad because he didn't mean to hurt his feelings. He tried to say it the nicest way possible, but somehow everything he said just didn't come out that way. Ron liked Hermione, sure, but... Harry was nice, and... Really caring and understanding.

"Actually, now that I think about it, you're right," Hermione stated. "I only ever noticed this on Sunday, the last day of school, but I don't really know the reason of it. Do you know, Ron?" She turned to Ron with a questioning look. Sirius looked at said boy with his eyebrows raised.

"Uh.. Well..." Ron mumbled. "Not really. I mean, no, I don't know the reason by it." He lied. Well, he was pretty sure he knew the reason of the behavior. He just felt too guilty to tell them.

Sirius sighed. "Hmm, alright. Well, go to bed, you two." He smiled at them kindly and Hermione nodded, finishing her hot cocoa and going up to her (spare) room. Ron did the same.

As Ron let his head hit the pillow, he scolded himself for not telling the truth. Maybe he could tell him.. Maybe.

He fell into a fitful sleep.

Harry was laying there in the darkness and loneliness in his room under the covers, trying to sleep. Occasionally his eyes scrunched up as he heard voices calling the same names, same phrases, same insults. He still remembered the faithful Saturday night, and he couldn't get his mind off it. He knew he shouldn't have said that. He risked it. Everything's done.

Everyone's life would be so much better if I just kill myself.

Harry was also scared of how Sirius would treat him. Ever since that fire call, he wasn't too high up in the I-have-such-high-self-esteem-and-self-confidence club. He was also scared of getting in trouble. He didn't want to tell Sirius about the cuts, about the blood quill, about the abuse. He hoped that his behavior didn't change anything, that they still liked him. He hadn't dared cut himself yet, because he didn't want to risk anyone finding out about his problem.

He heard someone knock on his door, and Harry mumbled, "Come in."

Sirius let himself in and closed the door quietly, before sitting down on a chair beside Harry's bed. The Boy who Lived sat up, his legs crisscross on the bed. Harry rubbed his eyes tiredly, yawning.

"Hey, what are you doing still up?" Sirius asked.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You woke me up. Besides, I'm a light sleeper." He said, half lying. Sirius chuckled. "So what'd you want?"

"I just came to check on how you were doing," Sirius said honestly. "You've been acting really weird lately. When something's wrong, you can't hide it from me. I know you."

His godson smiles sadly. "That's no good." Yet another person who cared about him. Why can't he just make everyone happy and not let anyone worry at all?

Padfoot was taken aback by this. What did he mean by that? "What?"

Harry sighed, no longer able to keep his feelings and thoughts bottled up. "Why can't it just be the way it's always been? This is all my fault..." He laughs awkwardly. "If I hadn't been so weak I wouldn't have shown any of that behavior. I wouldn't have gotten you worried for nothing. You probably won't be thinking of me right now..." Harry took a shaky breath. "But that's my punishment, right? I guess that's why the world decided to come into my room. The world just wants to torture me." Sirius godson laughs and the ex-convict is horrified.

What on earth was his godson saying? Punishments? Weak? What?

"Harry, what on earth are you talking about?" Sirius asked, worried. "Are you even listening to what you're saying right now? I know something happened, so please tell me! Until then, I won't be able to stop thinking about it!" That was an understatement;he was worried for his godson ever since he noticed his behavior.

Harry smiles, looking down and shaking his head. He wanted to laugh, really, at his godfather's antics. "You really put me into a trap, huh, Sirius?" He sighs. "All right, well, you really leave me no choice.." He took a deep breath. "The thing is, I've had really bad depression for a while now."

Review please, I'm scared.