The wind blew again with strength announcing once more the Cumbrian winters. In its pass through Allerdale it squirms, free to roam every exposed area of the great manor. It whistle when traveling through the chimneys and roars in the main hall, where the sky can be seen through the hole on the roof and the snow will drift placid falling to the floor, replacing the furious rains of fall. The master is expected to arrive soon, and the children will expect no more presents that their father return. They know not to bother her mother asking questions about the man they fondly call father, or about the festivities that the housekeepers try to keep alive for the children's sake, if only to keep the tradition and cheer up the souls, master or not master there to celebrate the season with his family.

The grass is almost all dried with the cold, and the rains had washed the land, allowing the crimson clay to show off in puddles. Soon the snow will cover everything for the eye to see, making notorious the contrast of white and red. The land's treasure will leak up in places as the ground around the deposits gets frozen, especially near the house. The manor will stand there, surrounded by red spilled snow, a stained white coat around the giant bleeding heart, barely beating, waiting.

The children greeted the seasonal change no matter the cold that penetrated their small bodies up to their bones. Three days after their father had finally arrived and their mother was still in good spirits. Enough to allow them have super in the dining hall with her and their father. The man was in a good mood too, unusual. Lucille always hoped for the winter to be strong and implacable, so her father cannot travel back and her mother limited her movements to the few rooms that were keep warm on the house. The nursery was one of them, but she never stayed there for long. But the fall was just receding, and even if it was cold, the temperature was more than bearable with only an additional layer of clothes over the shoulders.

Adelaide had waked them up earlier, carrying a tray with porridge and sweet tea, altogether with a bit of unusual and fresh news.

"Well there is a surprise for you two little angels!" she said clapping her hands, making it to sound like a song.

"Will you prepare bread with nuts for super?" A fair guess from Thomas, considering that it was Adelaide - or Nana - the ones that usually indulged the children with any good surprise.

"Well yes, that is the one the Master's favorites, but that is not what I was talking about" Lucille looked are her plate, not showing interest.

"Well little Miss, won't you try to guess at least?" Adelaide tried to get her involved in the conversation.

"I don't like surprises anymore, not since the last one was that horrible tutor?" Lucille sighted.

"Can I eat the surprise?" Thomas asked.

"That's the spirit! See child it cost nothing to have a little enthusiasm like Thomas dear"

"Can I eat it now?" The boy was more than hungry, he had devoured the breakfast, but his growing body demanded more nurture than the children usually got. Her mother made sure they weren't feed in excess, having them as she knew they have little physical activity.

"Oh I'm sorry Thomas, but it is not food. The Master and Mistress are taking both of you to town!"

"What?" Lucille stopped so suddenly that almost fell from the chair. "To the town?"

"Yes little mistress," Adelaide said.

"Me and Thomas?" The child's voice was pure incredulity.

"For sure, I'll pick your best clothes to dress and for the little Master, well he is in need of new clothes, let's see what we can do for him." Adelaide told trying to sort something that will fit the boy not too tight.

Thomas was growing at an amazingly fast pace, tall and slim. In the last months nothing fitted him well, the pants still buttoned on his waist, but they cover only a little below his knees. Adelaide dressed him in Lucille's old wool stockings, in an attempt to protect his pale legs from the cold. The shirts were also short and the arms almost up to his elbows. An old jacket from the Master's childhood was fit over him, it had a double function, keep him warm and avoid his bellybutton to be showed ungracefully. He looked like a peasant boy in old unfitting clothes. But it was not by lack of budget to afford clothes for the boy. Lucille always got new clothes, dresses for winter and summer made in fine fabrics, shoes, bows, undergarments, nightgowns; these were usually delivered while her father was on France after the mines were closed for the year. He had never ordered clothes for the boy though, he had left that job to his wife, he has no idea of the boy measures, which were not the ones expected from a regular boy his age. The Mistress had supposed to take the boy to town for measuring or send for a tailor in order to get clothes for the boy. Doyle had been given orders to supply the necessary amount for this, but the Mistress had simple ignored the task. For the first two years, the boy had used his sister's baby gowns, those that were plain and unisex, and easier to manage as long as the boy used diapers. For the last year, he had used the only clothes available in the manor for a boy; these were old relics of the Master's childhood, saved by her mother as a memory of her son's infancy. They were few garments well conserved, the ones that were not ruined by the moths or the mold.

The clothes Thomas had worn for the unique occasion he had been presented to society had been ripped open, too old to stand for another wash. They were also baby clothes in the attic, the ones bought for the stillborn babies, those the Mistress had forbidden to be touched, even less used. Adelaide fitted Thomas in the little jacket, a river of memories flowing through her head. She had a child once, well almost. She had nothing to remind her of him, he had born too far to term that the form was barely recognizable as a human figure. She knew, in a way, the feelings of the Mistress. For if she had pass through that kind of lost more than once, she would have end in madness, as the Mistress was. What she cannot understand, was why the woman despised her born children. In that place in the middle of nothing, with an old house surrounding them full of sad and bad memories, those two little children were the only ray of light and hope. She was sure that her sister thought the same.

"With mother and father?" Lucille question interrupted Adelaide's thoughts for good. Some secrets in Allerdale where better if never speak about again.

"Well yes, who else. Is that so unbelievable?"

She girl shrugged her face in uncertainty.

"How is the town?" She asked nonchalant.

"Simple, noisy, smelly, carriages everywhere, and people walking from one side to other"

"Why?"

Because towns are like that and people is noisy?

"No" the girl corrected herself, "Why people move from side to side?

"Because they have things to do to earn their life, work, sell, pray, study, there is a task for everyone, no matter if they are rich or poor"

"Are there children?" She was sure the answer was yes, and she wouldn't like it.

"Lot of them"

"What they do?"

"I don't know, play, work, and go to school?"

"School? work.. like father? Can I do those things?"

"Too much questions for one day. Come, we need to bath you and prepare your brother. You two will have a lovely day"

"Adelaide, Will you come?" Thomas asked, a suddenly worry shadowed both children faces.

"Well of course, don't you think I will miss all the joy" The three of them laughed at that.

After they were ready, they walked out of the house, this was a special occasion, Lucille thought. She had only crossed the main doors whenever her father returned from a long trip, if and only if he had send letter of his arrival before. Sometimes he didn't, and those times he usually arrived late at night, no reception committee with the personal standing for him at the manor's entrance. What was the reason for one or the other, she didn't know. One thing she was sure, it was a special day. Special enough for her mother to allow them to go to the town for first time in their life. The stable was the far she had ever been out of the house. Her mother had been with her, watching her vigilant. She had not hold her hand, nor allowed her to touch the horses. Jory had feed them and brush them for her so see, he winked an eye to her when her mother didn't noticed. She had longed to see the horses from close again. But today, they will go to town, which meant... They will go in a carriage, like father does, pulled by the horses, with Jory guiding them. And Thomas would be with her and Adelaide, and father and mother.

They settled to ride for the town before noon; the travel had been very quiet. Her parents in one seat and Adelaide with her and Thomas in the opposite side. Lucille wasn't expecting conversation, nonetheless from her father inquiring about her education.

"So Lucille, Mr. Sutton and I talked about your advances with your lessons, and he praised your effort and perseverance" Instead, she thought it was Mr. Sutton the one perseverant in using the stick. "I've been also said that you are taking good care of Thomas" This had been Nana and Adelaide doing for sure.

"I... yes father"

"And how are you enjoying the piano with your mother"

"Very much father" She said without hesitation.

The truth was that she wasn't enjoying the piano at all. First, because that meant Thomas remained mostly alone in the nursery, while she was to sit straight and remember the right keys. That was almost impossible, there were too many and they all looked the same, white or black. Second, because her mother make her repeat forever at each mistake. If she was not in her best mood, Lucille was left for hours until her fingers went numb. Her mother also has a passion for adding the prayers to the punishments. She made her repeat and recited the prayers while trying to decide they right keys, making the task even harder. Lucille won't dare to complain to his father, less in front of her own mother.

"She will do just fine in no time" Her mother said half a smile on her face.

Lucille didn't know if that was a subtle complain or a compliment. In fact, she didn't pay attention to what her mother or anyone said, she was just mesmerized by the scenery. The land melting in brown and dark patches, populated with leafless bushes and trees. The town itself was an carnival for the child eyes, soon she was overwhelmed with so many new things, everywhere was something different to see, people, carriages, smells and noises, as Adelaide had said. It was just wonderful, and scary in a way. There was a country fair so the town was more lively than usual. They stopped in a store with a big glass window. A gown was standing like if someone had been wearing it on, but no one was. The interior was filled shelves, dresses and also suits, she noticed they were not empty but supported in a metal frame, shaped like a human torso. The place held so many things, but it was small, the size of one room in Allerdale. She wondered if all the town people lived in small houses like this one. She was curious and afraid, holding one of Thomas hands all the time. With the other, the boy grabbed Adelaide's as it the world depended on it, he was truly nervous and just wanted to be back at home, in the security of the nursery.

The shelves of the store were filled with fabric in several colors and beautiful patterns. Lucille let her hand to set over the exquisite fabrics and feel the textures. A man spoke to her parents, and then went to Thomas, measuring him with a stick and a cord. A younger man wrote in a paper as the first man spoke. When she looked back for Thomas, he was bundled between mother and father, both them nodding and speaking to the man, who at the same time commanded the other to fetch clothes and pictures. Lucille went speechless when her father stared at Thomas, eyes fixed on the boy, and then her mother did the same, caressing Thomas cheek with her hand, in a way...she never had seen before, so tender, lovely. The feelings that grew inside her, she didn't like it. She wanted to take Thomas from hers hands and run away as fast as she could. But she couldn't, not with Adelaide pulling the boy behind the screen and out of her sight. Finally, after being undressed and dressed again he walked out in clothes that fit him properly, pants long to the calves, socks and boots, and a long sleeve shirt with a vest and a matching jacket. He looked like a miniature version father, gorgeous, Lucille thought. Thomas remained in the new outfit as the shop assistant picked up his old clothes and put them in a bag, then wrote the order placed by the parents regarding the clothe items that will be tailored for their son, they nodded or rejected to the fabrics suggestions from the shop employees, mostly his father. Lucille tried to pull next to Thomas, in her attempt Adelaide interfered again, "Oh no little Miss now is your turn" and she pulled Lucille behind the screen. She was in horror, after she had tried the gown she notice that her parents where not on the establishment, neither was Thomas.

"They went ahead miss, but don't you worry we'll join them in no time"

Still, the time they had waited in the store felt forever. At last, the attendant put the dress and Thomas adjusted new clothes into several boxes. Jory entered in the establishment just on time to take the purchased garments, and went out after speak with Adelaide. She and Adelaide had walked into the streets, there were more people than when they had arrived to town, but she paid no attention, scanning the place for a glimpse of Thomas. Finally they approached a big house made of... fabric, a circus tent she though. It looked nothing like the model she had to play, that was stripped in bright colors; instead this was plain muddy beige. Still it was amazing nonetheless.

"What is that?" She said in awe, she was astonished by the size. It must be to hold elephants inside, right.

"A tent. Let's go, the masters must be close"

There were a lot of people. Some were lined up after a person holding a box, yelling the name of the spectacle and the admission's price.

"Ladies and gentlemen, children, come to see 'The golden Goose', a show to delight the whole family! Only half a crown adults and two shillings for the children. Plenty of room still folks…"

Adelaide and Lucille walked along the line, and Lucille watched a family standing together. The man dressed very much like father, with a hat and a tie, the woman holding her arm dressed in a beautiful dress and hat, and two children with a nanny. The boy, taller than her for few inches, and the little girl close to Thomas in age, she held her mother's hand. The boy eyes meet her casually, and remained while a smirk appeared in his face.

"There, I see them, let us go" Adelaide interrupted the children staring battle.

Her father was already waiting for them. "Good! You are here, let's get in"

Inside there were benches around a big space with a wooden floor raised up one step level. Her father guided them to mother and Thomas and they all took seat. She was relieved to see Thomas and impressed there where so much people inside, many of them where children.

Her mother held Thomas hand, and he didn't go to meet her, Adelaide took sit next to him, and Lucille remained at her side. In the open space the show begun and she saw people dressed funny and acting weird. It was not a circus after all, it was a performance, but she was not really paying much attention. She had seen the family with the boy not far from their spot. The boy crouched under the bench and sneaked out below wooden tables and people's legs, unnoticed. Lucille could not avoid curiosity and decided to follow him, not before checking on her parents and Adelaide. The old woman was very engaged at the spectacle, same as Thomas at her side. It was a luck that Adelaide bulky body served as an obstacle covering her from her mother's direct line of sight, unfortunately Thomas was at her other side, next to mother's. The boy was amazed watching the character that had introduced himself as 'simpleton' in his exaggeratedly clumsy manners. The boy stared still, mouth agape. Not that Lucille doesn't like it, it was also a novelty for her, but so far life had proven her that things that were out of boundaries where far more exciting than the few ones that where freely granted or allowed, Thomas be the exception, even if the responsibilities of raisin a baby had been overwhelming at the beginning. Anyway she will do this, and Thomas was not able to follow her. Temptation had grown in her, and she had developed a liking in unveiling concealed, forbidden things, secrets. Also, sneaking out was something she had become very good at.

Lucille ran after the boy moving under the benches as well. When she reached the tent walls, she slipped away down the heavy tarpaulin. Her legs sprinted around the crowd, there were people lined in front of stands, others just gathered around with no order, some others were having food, which was curious for How can people eat while standing up, without plates and cutlery?. The girl realized how much she ignored about the people and the life outside Allerdale Hall. In the stands some people displayed several items, fruits, clothes, hats, glass bottles. Others had funny things like the little animal dressed up with little clothes. A monkey it was, she had seen it in one of the books in the nursery. A man stood behind a small table with cups placed upside down on it. His hands moved fast, shuffling the cups from their position. The monkey pointed to one and the when the man lifted it there was a flat round piece.

The animal screeched and hissed, showing his teeth when Lucille came close to see it. She halted, almost stumbling when she moved one step back. Laughs. When she turned to see who caused the sound she saw several children, a boy pointed at her openly while a pair of girls giggled without discretion. Anger rose up on her throat, the kind that usually makes her want to cry, but she knew how to hold that feeling at bay. So she ran from the scene, passing intentionally between the girls, pushing them apart and make them both fall into the dirty ground. She didn't stop, not to take vengeful pleasure in the girls' cry, not until she found a concealed corner, free from everybody's sight.

People where everywhere, it was difficult to not run into someone, the place has transformed into a termites nest, infested with people and bustling children. It was difficult to imagine how so many people could live in the town. Her initial motif was now forgotten, and now she felt miserable, wondering how she will find the way back to his family, to Thomas. Deeply she regretted the moment her mind approved her to leave him behind, and so she begin to walk out of the dark corner where she had sat to sulk on her decisions.

"Wait!" someone called her.

Lucille stopped, turning around to see who had spoken to her. It was the boy, the one she had been after.

"Wait girl..." Lucille walked to him, squinting in the dark to discern the boy's face veiled in shadows.

"What do you want?" The boy spoke again, while the girl remained silent like a cornered animal watching a predator, ready to strike back.

"I saw you following me, what are you following me?" She perceived curiosity in his voice and also reserve.

It was obvious that this one was smarter, Lucille thought. He was not expecting to be followed, and was not pleased in his discovery, but it was obvious that she intrigued him in the same way that he had intrigued her, which was the initial reason for her to follow him.

"I ...You sneaked away, Why?" She responded, regaining her confidence with a thrown back inquire.

"Why?" He asked again, more than annoyed, what was the problem with this meddling girl? He didn't liked girls, and this in front of him was becoming a nuisance. "I do what I want, that's why"

"A child is not allowed to go by himself!"

"What? I'm no child, I'm almost a man!" The boy stood up straight in an attempt to look bigger and intimidator. "I don't need a nanny. I can get rid of that horrible woman and my impossible sister anytime. Besides, I'll be nine in three months and my father will give me my own horse to ride. Then I'll come and go as I please" He stated in a solemn tone.

"You are like the rest of them" She prepared herself to be mocked by this boy as the others had just done, as the children that had gone to Allerdale had.

"I'm not!... but you are not either. Girls don't sneak up nor disobey her parents, but you are here, why?"

"What about your parents?" She dodged the question again using another question in turn.

"They never pay attention, they won't notice my absence if I return before the end of the play" Enough of this, he thought, time was not stopping while he was being questioned by this girl.

"Won't they punish you?"

"Of course, but I'm not stupid to get catch. Why do you care anyway? Look, I have something to do, so stop bothering me unless you want to partake. In that case I can share the loot with you only if you keep your mouth shout"

"Loot?, wha-?"

"Don't you know anything? Candy of course! What else is it to covet in this meager town? My father doesn't allow me to have any. He says it will give me bad teeth. But my cousin Eugene, he sneaked a piece for me in his last birthday party, since then I have improved some techniques to get more."

"Bad teeth? Do they fell?... What do you speak about?"

"Yes. No. Secrets! Girl, you ask too many questions, are you helping or not? If not, then better go back where you come from, I'm not taking care of a silly girl! "

"I'm not a silly girl, I can take care of myself, and Thomas!"

"Very well then" he replied, "here, come with me!" The boy hold Lucille's hand and pull her into a run.

They sneaked behind a stand where a woman was giving candy to some children after she took the coin they offered her in first place. Lucille'a eyes got enthusiast with the gleaming pieces of candy. She had stretched her hand as the rest of the children, but hers was empty. Someone pulled at her arm, it was the boy.

"It's not for free, we have to distract them first" He watched the girl puzzled face and added... "Or do you have any money to pay for it?"

"No" Disappointment showed on her face, of course she has no money, she had seen the metal pieces it in their parents hands, but never had held one of her own.

"This is what you will do, hold this and stand there, when she speaks to you, you'll faint, like this" The boy faked a faint, pretending to fall on the ground. "And don't forget to close your eyes until I give you the signal. Do as I tell you, and we'll be licking our hands in no time. "

"Are you sure this will work?" The girl asked.

"Of course, my cousin Eugene told me, he is twelve and has do it before"

"So you never-?"

"Enough, I'm sure!" He said this to reassure himself more than the girl.

Lucille approached to the stand without hesitation, moving to the front, she held her hand up holding the round piece tight. With the dawn light, it was hard to distinguish it was not a coin, but a thin flat rock of gray color. When the woman spoke to her, and went to pick the rock from the hand she fainted, the piece lost on the floor between a bunch of children shoes and feet. A lot of people gathered around her as she lay in the ground with closed eyes. Now just wait for the signal. But then she realized she didn't knew what the signal was, the boy had not told.

Had she been tricked? Her arms were being shaken by someone yelling at her, slapping her face softly. She picked to see the candy seller woman and a man with a peculiar hat and cape. "Where are the parents of this child? Is always the same, in these days, isn't it?" The man said aloud.

Lucille opened her eyes and pointed to a random direction to placate the adult's questions about her parents. "Stay here" the man said to the woman. This nodded to the man and soothe the girl "There, there girl, the officer will fetch your parents in a minute"

With that as a cue, Lucille stood up and ran away as fast as she could, the woman yelling after her, "Wait, girl, wait!" and her the tone changed when she realized that part of her merchandise had been lost, "Thief, stop that girl! Thief! Come back you urchin!" Lucille missed the officer hurrying back to the candy stand where the woman hollered and claimed him to catch the thief girl back.

Lucille only stopped next to the tent, the tarpaulin lifted beside her and she was pulled in by a hand. She felt rage when she watched the boy, his face exposing a full teeth smile.

"Well done girl, awesome performance! This is more than earned," he handed her a hand full of candy, and another. "You should have seen their faces, the woman was about to cry, she thought you had die!"

Lucille stood there, looking at the boy. He was praising her, smiling. There was not horror nor disappointment nor disdain, and she felt satisfaction. She laughed and the boy too, both laughed and sat under the tent, below the public that watched the performance, stuffing their mouths in candy. Her face was covered in chocolate, and he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket offering it to her.

"Not bad" he said, with a sticky smirk covered in candy.

"What?" she asked.

"You. Not bad for being a girl" He held her hand, preventing her from eating a red candy. "Not that one, it will paint your tongue red and you would get into trouble. Save it for the night, when everyone is sleeping" Lucille put the red candy aside, and the boy offered her a honey colored piece instead.

The candy was really sweet and she enjoyed it. How come her father never had brought those to home? The boy seemed to foresee her thoughts.

"Parents don't like children eating candy. You see, too much can damage the teeth. I'll save the rest of my part, so I can have a piece for especial occasions, it will my secret." That brought a smile to Lucille's face.

"I will save these for my brother" Lucille thoughts wandering on secrets shared with Thomas.

"Your brother is only a baby. Babies can swallow a candy accidentally and get chocked"

"Thomas is not a baby, he won't choke!" She said, her mood turned in a twist.

"Whatever, I won't stop you" The boy lifted both hands in surrender.

"Will you give some to your sister?" She asked in a calmer tone.

"Oh no, she will tell father and he will punish me right away."

"Did he... hit you?"

"Sometimes, he said I'm incorrigible. Mother instead, she'll never do it, but if she is really angry she will tell father. That's about the same, right? What about your parents?"

"I ... I don't see them much"

"Well lucky you. Hey watch this" He pointed to the scenery, where the simpleton man dressed in regal clothes married the princess but got tangled in the bride's veil in his kiss attempt, making the audience to laugh. "My father said they are all men, the performers, they dress up as women as well."

"For real?" Lucille asked with incredulity.

"Yes. I don't know why, but it is funny, don't you think? Pretending to be someone else" The actors gathered all together, then lift both hands and made a courtesy.

"That's our signal, let's go. Put it in your pockets" They boy said regarding the remaining candy.

"I don't have pockets"

"Then there," the boy said helping Lucille to hide the candies in the front of her dress. "See, nobody will notice"

While the people on the benches stood up and clapped, Lucille climbed back to her seat, next to Adelaide.

"Wait, your name, I must know" The boy said, pulling her from below the bench.

"Lucille"

"I'm Peter. It was a pleasure my lady" he said, kissing her hand, then he ran and she watched his curly blonde hair disappearing over the benches not far from her. He made it just in time to be found by his mother, she never suspected the boy had leave the seat in first place.

The return to Allerdale was quiet for Lucille. Thomas instead, had never spoken so much in his entire life. He had been mesmerized and amazed, holding to the images on his mind. He recalled the jester with the dog that jumped through the hop, the jugglers, the clowns, the magician, all them that had tried to make the princess laugh. He had got lost in his own world also, immersed in the colors and movement and sounds of the pantomime.

Their parents spoked casually, and pretended to pay full attention to Thomas which repeated his favorite parts, and asked questions about. Lucille watched Thomas and her night joy faded. She felt bad in a way, because Thomas was not part of her adventure, and she felt guilty, even when she had booty of candy hidden in her dress for him. She could not avoid thinking again in the boy; at the aftermath of the candy-steal ruse they had enjoyed the proceedings and the result. The boy had been nice, unless any other children she had met before. Well except Thomas, but he was not an ordinary boy, he was hers and so she considered him as a part or herself. A part she could not live without. That night in the nursery, she had put the candy in their hidden place, under the bedframe. She had planned to give the candy to Thomas, but the boy had been knocked out, his energy drained after the excitements of the day. She will give it to him the next day, but she would not tell how she had got it. That part she wouldn't share, at least not yet. She had said Thomas was not a baby, but still he was too young to understand. Even if he will never tell on purpose, she was not confident he won't disclosure the information accidentally. Especially when mother allured him with feigned interest in the boy's welfare and confounded him with her affectionate pats. Just a show off it was, like the pantomime, a pretend play to gain her father's attentions.

Lucille didn't mind at all to follow her mother's game; she craved her father attention too, she could empathize with her mother. She also enjoyed the motherly moments that this brought along, every minute of them. Of course she knew it was not real, like an illusion it never last. That she understood, but Thomas didn't, he will be heart-broken as soon as father left, or even before, when her mother pushed them away and impart unfair punishes again. The poor boy's nerves will eventually break unable to deal with such bipolarity. At least father was always constant. He was indeed ill-tempered to the point of fear, especially in the business affairs… or with mother. Most of the time he spent in the house he was distant and taciturn. With her and Thomas he was kind and concerned, overly formal but never harsh, not even scolding, not toward them at least. Her father bursts against her mother was other thing Lucille had kept from Thomas. She wanted Thomas not be like him in that regard, it was the only thing she truly condemned about her father. Thomas instead was a prince, a gentleman, one that will never strike his hand against a lady. He was a good boy and had stayed with his family to enjoy the show, unlike like the boy Peter, unlike her.