Chapter 8: Time Flies By in the City of Lights

"You expect me to believe that THIS is natural!" Kirby, still shaking in his anxiety, focused his attention solely on the woman stretched out weakly on the couch. A stack of pillows elevated her legs while her head lay flat on the cushions; a knit throw had been tossed around her in a modicum of decency.

Chris' sat at the toaster's side, her fingers gently rubbing the other's abdomen while Rob refilled a hot water bottle in the kitchen.

"It's just a woman thing," she said, offering him a soothing smile. She accepted the hot bottle from Rob and tucked it against the toaster's side. "Some just have a harder time with the pain than others." She reached over to smooth loose hair away from Toaster's face.

Kirby relaxed as Toaster's eyelids finally fluttered open and she smiled weakly before closing them again.

"Here." Rob offered him a damp towel. Kirby blinked at it before Rob indicated the blood on his fingers. He wiped it off as best as he could, then used a clean corner to wipe his brow as his shaking began to subside.

What a morning it had been. The horror of finding Toaster bleeding in his cot had ruptured any common sense he had. His shouts, pleas, and attempts to shake her into consciousness had only brought Rob and Chris racing into the basement.

"Oh! Oh, my gosh!"

"Wha-what happened?"

Kirby couldn't tell them. He couldn't even begin to guess what had happened. He was too busy using the blankets to staunch the bleeding to even explain how and why the toaster had ended up in his cot. There had been no time for any explanation anyway. Under Rob's quick instructions, Kirby had carried her into the living room and laid her on the couch. He'd then been unceremoniously shoved aside as the two humans sprang into action, checking her pulse, her blood pressure, and cleaning her in places Kirby himself had only just discovered the night before. Somehow they'd revived her long enough to get her to swallow some pain medication, all the while debating back and forth between them whether a 911 call was necessary.

All the while he had watched and waited, swallowing his panic and deep, deep regret. It reminded him sharply of standing on a cliff's edge, watching as she and the other dimwits plunged into the depths of a waterfall; that terrible, helpless feeling.

And they expected Kirby to believe that the bleeding was normal. Normal!

"Bleeding is not normal," he insisted, passing his clean hand over his face.

"Menstruation," Chris said sarcastically. "God's gift to women."

Rob's hand patted his shoulder. "The pain meds should take care of things. She just needs some sleep now." Kirby met the vet's smile with uncertainly. "Don't worry. Chris goes through this every month, too." He lowered his voice. "And she's a lot louder about it."

Chris whacked the back of his head in response as she walked by with the soiled blankets balled under her arm. Rob feigned a grimace.

"I'm, um, going to go see if I can fix that cot."

Kirby wasn't sure what to make of his muttered, "Or probably just need to throw the whole thing out," as Rob thumped down the stairs. It didn't really matter to him, anyway.

Chris returned with some of Toaster's clothes.

"I'm guessing privacy between you two is moot at this point," she said, glancing at Kirby, "but you think you could leave us alone for just a moment?"

"Oh." Kirby rubbed the back of his head as he watched her unwrap some type of cloth square. "I guess I…I could…"

"Check on Robbie?" Chris ventured, as the little boy called out from the kitchen.

Taking the hint from her tone, Kirby hurried to do as she asked. By the time Robbie was cleaned up from breakfast (and the highchair he'd decorated during the adults' absence cleaned up as well), Chris had finished helping Toaster dress and was walking into the kitchen.

"She'll be fine," she reassured Kirby, as she tossed the wrapper into the trash. "Though I gotta say, you two sure work things out fast. Bet you want that bed now, huh?"

Kirby wasn't sure he appreciated the smirk she gave him, though he did feel grateful when she took Robbie out of his arms, adding gently, "Here, I've got him. You go sit with her for a while. Yeah? She's asking for you."

Heart beating, Kirby only managed a nod as he rushed back into the living room.

Still wrapped up in the blanket, Toaster had curled up on her side, hugging the water bottle tightly. There was some color in her cheeks again, he saw as he stooped down to stroke her temple.

She stirred, and he was relieved to see the recognition in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Hey there," she murmured.

"Hey there," he echoed, uncertain. He ran his thumb over her chin. "How do you feel?"

"Mm, better, I think. Kirby, that was the worst pain I've ever felt." She grasped his hand.

"Yeah." It was the worst thing he'd ever experienced. Menstruation…periods…it still made little sense to him. All he cared about was one specific detail…He bent to whisper in her ear.

"They said it wasn't…wasn't what we did last night."

"I know," Toaster agreed. "Chris told me."

"Oh. I-I-I'm sorry."

"Why? You didn't do anything."

"I know…but I-I…" Her hand brushed his temple, comforting him.

"I'm not upset, Kirby. Really."

He watched her cautiously. "You sure?"

"Mhm. It wasn't your fault." She winced.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, panic returning.

"Nothing…I'm really tired. And sore."

"Would you…would you rather be upstairs in bed?" Kirby blinked. Where had that offer come from?

Toaster considered the couch before nodding, starting to sit up.

In one fail swoop, Kirby lifted her, the blanket and the water bottle. After she took a startled breath, she wrapped both arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I've got you," he announced, and flushed at her chuckle. Of course, she knew he was holding her. What was he thinking? Clearing his throat, he headed up the stairs, moving as carefully as he could so as not to jostle her. Within minutes they were in her bedroom, and he was settling her in bed. She curled up again as he tucked the comforter around her, ignoring the water bottle as it slipped. Kirby rescued it from the floor.

"Should I refill it?" he asked, judging its coolness.

Toaster shook her head as she hugged the pillow. "No. It doesn't hurt so much anymore. I just feel…sleepy."

"I'll leave you alone, then." Kirby lingered to kiss her cheek and tuck the blanket under her chin. He walked away, slowly, glancing back every so often, just to be sure…

"Kirby?"

He stopped in the doorway. "Yeah?"

"…Don't leave. Please?"

Without answering, he quickly closed the door and hurried back to slip into the bed beside her. He wrapped both arms around her, kissing the top of her head as she rested comfortably against him.

It took four days for the bleeding to stop.

"But at least it's finally stopped!" Toaster sighed in relief as she washed her hands at the bathroom sink and fixed her ponytail. The first couple of days she had been uncomfortable, wary of those first sharp pains, and though Chris had given her a bag of sanitary napkins and showed her how to wear them, she had still ruined several pairs of underwear and stained a new pair of jeans.

Still, if Chris said it was normal, then it must be normal.

"It's odd, though," she had told Kirby, as she watched him try a homemade stain removal formula on her jeans. "How come no one ever mentioned that women bleed once a month?"

"Why would they?" Kirby scrubbed at the stain. "Why would any appliance need to know that?"

He was right, of course. It was not information that appliances would pay attention to. It made her realize more than ever how little they knew about humans; how vast the human experience truly was.

"Well, just one more experience you've added to your repertoire," Kirby replied, albeit cheeky as he grinned at her.

"Just count yourself lucky!" she retorted. "You'll never bleed like that."

"Thank goodness!" He'd handed her the jeans, as good as new, and she'd rewarded him with a kiss.

Despite her ordeal, the last four days had changed everything for them. Between them. That night had opened up a world neither had known anything about, though Toaster realized now that she had been craving it for a long time.

The thought thrilled her.

Now she understood why Chris had wanted Rob's attention so badly. Now she understood why humans liked to touch, and cuddle, and kiss. She adored Kirby's kisses, his way of grasping her in between tasks and taking sips of her until she was lightheaded from his touch. At times he grasped the edges of her jacket to pull her in close, keeping her trapped with only his gaze alone.

They were sharing the guest bedroom now, as well, with only a silent understanding between them and the two humans. Toaster had woken up from her nap that day to find Chris and Kirby carrying an old queen-size bed frame down from the attic. Piece by piece, they replaced it with the single bed that had been there.

"Just take it easy for a few more days," was her only comment to Toaster as she dressed it with clean sheets. "Making love is tough when you're on your period."

Making love…Toaster smiled as her cheeks flushed in memory. Yes, that was exactly what she and Kirby had done: Made love. More than that, though: Kirby was smiling at her more; speaking to her in every spare moment he could find. He was greeting her in the morning with a smile and a caress, happy to see her. He was coming back from the park, full of stories to tell about people, new friends, and urging her to tell him everything she could see and feel.

They were together. Finally.

"He likes bread and butter!" Toaster sang at the top of her lungs as she danced into the living room. "He likes toast and jam!" She and Rob had taken care of the last appointment for the day, and he had sent her off to clean up while he finished some paperwork. It was early; a glance at the clock told her that Kirby would be back from the park with Robbie soon.

Good. She missed him, in more ways than one. The whole morning in the surgery her mind had been on him. She couldn't wait to tell him that the bleeding had stopped. He had been patient and gentle with her the last few nights, but she knew without his saying that he wanted to be with her just like they had that first night. She felt the same impatience. While she loved having his arms wrapped around her every night, she couldn't wait to make love to him again.

She giggled. A toaster giggling; how absurdly wonderful was that? "That's what his baby feeds him! He's her loving man!" She threw her arms above her head and twirled, feeling the ponytail fly.

"Why, hello, sunshine!" She heard someone greeting as the front door opened. She spun around to see Chris watching her, an amused smile on her tired face. "You are way too happy for someone who just gave a puppy booster shots."

"How did you know?" Toaster asked.

"I stopped inside the clinic to say hi to Rob. He said you two had quite the busy day." Chris's fingers fumbled as she removed her bank name plate from her white shirt and sank down on the couch, but her smile was as friendly as ever as she patted the empty seat beside her.

Toaster laughed and bounced down beside her. "Busy, yes! How was the bank?"

"Don't get me started." She slapped the name plate down on the coffee table. "I just don't have much patience with idiots-especially the ones that can't tell a penny from a nickel. But at least something good is about to come out of it. A coworker is trying to sell a van."

"Really?" Toaster gasped, as eager to see Chris' excitement as she was with the news.

"Really. And the price doesn't sound half bad. Rob said he'd come by in the next day or two to look at it. Who knows? Maybe things are looking up after all!"

"Finally!" Toaster accepted the hug Chris offered her. Things were looking up for them. There were no more strained moments between the two of them, or fights between Chris and Rob. It seemed everyone had settled into a better frame of mind.

"Now, spill," Chris demanded, breaking the hug. "What's got you so upbeat? Period finished?"

Toaster nodded. "And…I just can't wait to see Kirby," she admitted.

"Why? Miss having your ears grumbled out?" Chris hugged her again with one arm. "Or is it something else he does with that mouth of his?"

"Hmm." Toaster bit her lip, considering the question. "I guess it's the something else."

Now Chris' laugh echoed through the house. "Thea! Good grief! You really do move fast!" She loosened her hair from the bun at the nape of her neck, setting the hair pins beside the name plate on the coffee table. "Less than a week ago you two were at each other's throats! Now you're warming it up in the bedroom!"

"Warming it up…I like that!" Toaster smiled fondly. "I guess we made up alright."

"That's some make up!" Chris tugged her ponytail. "I'm glad you're getting along, but just be careful you don't have too many fights, or you'll really end up with something to fight over!"

"What do you mean?" Toaster asked, following Chris as she headed into the kitchen.

Chris selected a glass from the cabinet and got a drink from the kitchen sink. Toaster leaned against the counter, catching a glimpse at Ratso as she waited for Chris to finish. The rat winked at and made some gesture she couldn't understand. She shook her head at him. There had been no chance at conversation with him the last few days, though from a brief conversation between and Kirby she had learned that her emergency had been the talk of the household appliances.

As for what they'd seen of her and Kirby in the kitchen, she didn't know. Kirby absolutely refused to repeat what Ratso had said during their last conversation…

Chris finished her drink with a sigh. "Well, don't get me wrong, I love Robbie. He was a pleasant surprise, but surprise all the same." She fingered a pacifier that was lying on the window sill above the sink and held it out towards Toaster with her pinky. "Sometimes he makes my love life a little more complicated. Get my drift?"

Toaster stared blankly at her. "You think Kirby and I will fight over Robbie?"

Now it was Chris' turn to stare blankly as she dropped the pacifier. "What? No. I meant you might end up with a baby if you weren't careful."

"I would?" That was news to Toaster. "How?"

She stood eagerly as Chris' humor vanished into bewilderment.

"Um…Oh, boy…" Chris reached out to take Toaster by the shoulder and guide her to a chair. "Thea, maybe you'd better put off any love making plans with John until we've scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist. And had a little talk together…"

"Gynecologist?" Toaster wrinkled her nose as she tried to remember that was.

"Yeah, she has something you're gonna need."

"Really?" Toaster watched her pick up the phone and tap a few numbers. "What?"

"A little something most women affectionately call 'the pill'."

Kirby could hear the shower running as he opened the front door and tugged the stroller inside.

"Sounds like your mother is home," he said, letting Robbie out of the stroller. "Hope she's not upset that we're back late."

"Mommy!" Robbie kicked his legs and pulled at his seat belt.

"…He likes bread and butter...he likes toast and jam…" Kirby chuckled as the voice rang out from upstairs as well.

"She's home, too," he said, fondly, bending to unlock the seatbelt. And just what an afternoon he had to tell her…

"Mommy!" Robbie dashed past Kirby before the vacuum could do a double-take.

"Now, hold up!" Kirby shoved the stroller to one side. "She's busy! Come get your snack and you'll see her later!"

But the little boy was already half-way up the stairs. Kirby tried to overtake him, though a dull pain in his back made the going difficult.

"You idiot," he grumbled to himself, rubbing the sore spot. "You just had to be a show-off, didn't you? Giving those kids pony rides?" Yet, even though each step up the stairs jostled him, he still didn't regret keeping an eye on Colette's twins. An emergency call from her oldest son's grade school had her dashing every which way, trying to call her younger toddlers while grabbing her keys, dropping her keys, calling her sons, dropping her purse, yelling at them to stop throwing sand…

"Oh, I'll just watch them," Kirby had finally told her, fed up with watching her stumble all over herself.

"Oh no, no, no!" Colette kept trying to brush the dirt from her purse. "I couldn't ask you to do that! Who knows how long it will take to pick him up…"

Kirby found himself sharing a glance with Mary, the most levelheaded of the small group of friends, who had nodded at him and stepped to take Colette by the shoulders.

"You says you're asking, Honey? John's offering! And I'd take him up on it while he still is, if I were you!" Kirby had left the two of them to hash it out while he stepped into the jungle gym area to stop the twins from tossing sand. The boys were the most rambunctious sort he'd seen at the playground, but one firm glance from him and both had dropped the sand immediately.

"Piggy back! Piggy back!" they exclaimed, running up to grab at his arms. And he'd given them each a ride around the playground, like the idiot he was. Of course, Robbie wanted one when he saw them. And Judy's little boy and girl. And every bleeding kid at the playground…

"You are such a softie," Judy exclaimed, when he had finally said no to all requests for just one more ride. "How do you get them to listen?"

"Bother me if I know!" Kirby snapped, though even he couldn't hide a smile at the thought of kids liking him. He glanced down at the watch Rob had given him, noting that the rides had only lasted ten minutes. "Did you convince her?"

"She went," Mary replied, from where she sat on the bench, pushing her son's stroller back and forth as he slept. "Though who knows what she'll find. That's the fourth time this week Cole's blood sugar levels have spiked."

"That can't be easy," Kirby mumbled, taking a seat beside her. "With her husband gone away."

"And least he's coming back when his tour ends," Judy announced. Kirby winced at the bitterness in her voice. "Not everyone is as lucky to have a husband that wants to come home."

He heard Mary sigh as she gently replied, "Not all military wives consider themselves lucky, sweetie."

But even as Judy went into yet another rant about her separation, Kirby couldn't helping as sorry for her as he was for Colette. Over the last few weeks, he'd come to know them all very well. He knew Colette struggled to keep her boys to mind as she waited for Alex's deployment to end. He knew Judy still cried in her sleep over Frederick, even though he had left her over a year ago. He knew Mary still struggled with the miscarriages she'd had after Piper's birth, even though giving birth to little Sam was proof that there was nothing wrong with her. He felt all their pain strongly, sometimes he even admired them for it.

After that episode with Toaster, he felt he could even relate to them all the more; maybe even help them through it, if he could. Though he was twenty minutes late getting Robbie home, the grateful look on Colette's face when she finally came to collect the twins was worth both that and the pain in his back. It had felt right, and good and absolutely natural.

Natural…

"Gotcha!" Kirby finally caught Robbie in the master bedroom, just before he could knock on the bathroom door.

"Now, you can wait five more minutes," he reassured the toddler, setting him up on his shoulders to carry him downstairs. "She's needs a little time to herself, too."

Robbie squirmed and protested at first, but finally settled down.

"You're a good boy," Kirby praised him. "Don't ever let any other blockhead tell you differently."

"No!" Robbie exclaimed emphatically.

"Yes, you are."

"No!" But Robbie wasn't looking at him. Kirby could feel him twisting around, and turned in the direction the little boy was pointing.

"What the…?" The door to the attic, normally firmly closed, was completely wide open. Kirby lowered Robbie into his arms as he stared. Perhaps Rob or Toaster had gone up there…but no, he had seen Rob out in the clinic as they were walking back from the park, and Toaster could be heard singing in the guest bedroom.

A sneaking suspicion entered his mind. But it couldn't be any of their friends, he tried to reason as he placed one foot on the steps. Not in the middle of the afternoon, with so many humans about…

The guest bedroom door opened. "Kirby? Is that you?"

"To-aster!" Immediately, Robbie wiggled to get free. Kirby set him on the floor and watched him run to Toaster, arms wide out.

"Hi, Robbie!" She swept him up, covering his face in kisses.

For a moment, Kirby forgot the attic as he watched her, feeling himself bathed in admiration for her enthusiasm. He left the stairs and waited patiently for her to finish with the toddler.

"Hey, Kirby," she exclaimed, noticing him at last and putting Robbie down. He chuckled as she placed her hands on his shoulders and rose high up on her toes to kiss him.

"You okay?" he asked, breaking the kiss to cup her chin and study her face. There was something passionate in her kiss, something he hadn't felt from her before. Her face was flushed, and her eyes sparkled in an endearing way. He seized her up in both arms and kissed her soundly.

"And just what are you hiding?" he teased, when they paused for air.

Her eyes widened innocently. "Hiding? I'm not hiding anything!" She rubbed noses with him. "I just…have something to tell you."

"Oh? Is that so?" He humored her. "Just something to tell me."

"Something special." It was true. She seemed ready to burst from whatever it was she concealing.

"What?" he asked.

She drew a breath to speak, but Robbie's squeal from the master bedroom cut her short. "Mommy! Mommy!"

"Darn it," Kirby said, as saw Chris come out with Robbie in her arms, a towel wrapped around her hair. "I tried to stop him."

"Don't worry about it." Chris kissed her son's cheek as he poked her towel. "He's at that stage where he just gets everywhere. And, obviously, you two were busy," she said, knowingly, seeing Toaster in Kirby's embrace.

Kirby cleared his throat, but Toaster simply laughed and kissed him without shame.

He saw Chris shake her head. "Well, don't let me interrupt anything. Just remember what we talked about, Thea? Right? Nothing until after your appointment." She gave a glance Kirby could only interpret as meaningful. He looked at Toaster for a better explanation, but only received that sparkling look as his answer.

"I'll remember. I promise," she reassured Chris.

"Good girl."

"Meet me in the bedroom," she whispered in Kirby's ear, as Chris headed downstairs with Robbie.

"Alright." He didn't see the point to whispering when they had no secrets. "Let me put away the stroller and give Robbie a snack first."

Toaster was gleeful as he set her back on her feet. "Don't take too long." Her hand caressed his chest as she turned back for the bedroom. Kirby had to snap himself together to remind himself that his duties to the McGroartys came first. He wanted nothing better than to follow her into the room and give in to whatever temptation she was offering.

Perhaps it was fate, he realized later, that prevented him from giving into pure instinct. Or perhaps he possessed more common sense than the average vacuum. Whatever it was, today was a day for good judgement, as he realized when he entered the kitchen and found Rob and Chris in muted conversation. It took just one glance for him to see Rob's discomfort and Chris's tenacity, and to realize that it was connected to whatever secret Toaster had to share.

So he was somewhat prepared, as he set out carrot sticks and grapes for Robbie's snack, when Rob sidled up to him after Chris pointedly left the room.

"So, you and Thea have been…getting along lately."

Kirby shrugged it off. "We've always gotten along."

"…Right." Rob scratched at the skin above his cast. "Yeah, I can see that. Um…I just thought you ought to know...Well, Chris actually thought…that is…that we don't really mind you two…together."

Kirby put Robbie's plate on his highchair and crossed his arms, waiting. "We don't mind it either."

"It's just that…" Rob rubbed the back of his head as his eyes darted everywhere, "Chris had a conversation with Thea earlier concerning your…time together…and she was afraid that maybe…you didn't quite understand everything."

"Everything? Everything about what?" Kirby demanded. Where was this going?

"About." Rob hesitated. "S…se…um, birth control."

Kirby wrinkled his nose. "Birth control?"

"Oh, boy." Rob ran a hand over his face. "Chris was right again. You mind if we sit down…?"

Kirby didn't mind it. In fact, he was almost certain he was going to need a chair, too.

"No!"

"What do you mean 'No'?" Kirby found himself blinking at a bewildered Toaster sometime later.

"I mean NO!" he roared, feeling much like Robbie had earlier in trying to make himself heard. Forgetting to keep his voice down, he paced back and forth in the guest bedroom. He felt like the wool had been snatched from his eyes, just in time. The conversation he had with Rob, awkward and long though it had been had opened everything for him. Humans, their offspring, that wonderful night he and Toaster had spent together… enjoyed together…why, it made him positively ill.

Toaster, on the other hand, glowed with excitement as she sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed. "But, Kirby, isn't it the most wonderful thing you've ever dreamed of! Humans creating their own babies by doing exactly what we've been doing! Together. Making…making love!"

"Making what?"

"Well, that's what Chris called it. What we did together." Toaster had a dreamy look on her face. "Making love."

That wasn't exactly what Rob had called it, but Kirby held his peace. One fight at a time.

"No," he repeated.

"But, don't you understand?" Toaster insisted. "That's what making love is for! Creating, having a baby! That's how Chris and Rob got Robbie! Can you imagine?" She laughed. "What would Blanky say if I told him we could do it, too?"

"Do what?" Kirby stopped pacing to stare at her, feeling his jaw nearly drop.

"Have a baby, of course!" She laughed so hard tears were running down her face. "It's incredible, isn't it?"

Kirby chilled. He found himself staring down at that lovely, laughing vision, and shaking.

"You're insane," he gasped.

"But, Kirby…"

"You're worse than insane!" Kirby grabbed at his head as he lowered himself to the bed, his thoughts going every which way. "We can't!"

"But we could…" Toaster's hand wrapped around his.

"But we shouldn't," he replied, seizing both of her hands and turning to face her. "We don't know what we're doing! At all! This is…this is too much!"

"But…"

"We don't even know how much longer we'll be human," Kirby pressed, grasping for anything at that point.

It worked, though he couldn't decide if he was relieved or disappointed to see the Toaster's enthusiasm fade.

"Oh. Right." She lowered her gaze to the bed as she thought it over. "I guess we shouldn't really try anything if we…aren't going to stay…"

"That's right." He squeezed her hands.

"I guess that means we shouldn't…make love…anymore either…"

"Well, now, wait a second!" Kirby started. He was starting to lose his mind. "I—I never said we needed to stop. We just have to be careful with what we're doing." He ran his thumb over her hand, marveling again at how much smaller and softer her hands felt. "Rob said Chris was going to get you…control or something?"

"Birth control." Toaster nodded. "She said the gynic…gecolo…doctor would give me some sort of pill that would help. I would just have to remember to take one each time we made love."

"Well, that's what we'll do, then." He pulled her close to him. "We'll be careful until we change back. Agreed?"

She sighed as she put her head against his chest. "Agreed."

He sighed in relief, holding her fast. "Thank you," he whispered, though he couldn't be sure he was thanking her or his lucky stars.

"Humans are more complicated than I thought," he heard her say. He agreed in a grunt, feeling that little more needed to be said. His hands roamed, stroking her hair; just feeling her.

"I'm glad, though. I love feeling you touch me."

"Mmm." He eased back in the bed, bringing her with him. "I love it, too." A surge rose through him. "When is the appointment with the doctor?"

"Tomorrow."

He drew a breath, trying to calm himself. "Well, we can wait another day."

"Kirby?" She pulled away from him, raising herself up on her elbows to look down at him.

"Hm?"

"Do you…do you think we'll feel the same way about each other when we're appliances again?"

It took a moment of staring into her confused, disappointed eyes before her question really sank into him. When it did, he found he had no real answer, because they both knew the true answer perfectly well. He simply stared back, wordless, until she drew away from him and rose from the bed, quietly leaving the room. He didn't hurry after her; she wasn't truly leaving him. She simply needed what he needed at that moment: some time alone to think it over.

Only Kirby wasn't sure what to think anymore. He didn't know how long he lay in bed after she left, staring up at the ceiling. He just keep trying to come to some reasonable conclusion in his mind about their situation, who they were and what they were, and how long it all would really last.

And then he remembered the opened attic door.

Throwing caution to the wind, he rolled out of the bed, ignoring the cringe in his back, and made right for the attic. Once past the door, he found his earlier suspicions confirmed. The lamp, radio, hearing aids, and calculator were gathered in a semi-circle, looking like conspirators united. Even though he knew what the point for the meeting, he couldn't help the bubble of exasperation that burst from inside.

"What do you all think you are doing?" he demanded glaring from one to the other. "At this time of the day? With everyone in the house? What if you were caught up here, huh, and Rob and Chris started asking questions? How's that supposed to help me or Toaster?" He waited, arms crossed for their answers, before realizing in yet another wave of exasperation that they couldn't answer.

"Oh, never mind," he muttered, grunting as he lowered himself before them on one knee. "You're doing your best. That's what Ratso says, anyway. I won't believe it until I see some results." He paused, finding himself staring at the radio's weathered dial. "If you're getting any results, that is…"

They all stayed motionless, featureless, but Kirby had an eerie sense of eyes boring into him, waiting.

"They just want to know what the heck's going on between you and the toaster," Ratso had insisted just two days earlier. "What with that performance between youse guys in the kitchen, and Toaster nearly dying in the living room."

"She wasn't dying," Kirby snapped at him, uneasy with the guilt that crept over him.

"Okay, then Blanky was exaggerating! But what about in the kitchen?" Ratso had eyed him closely, seeming to guess more than he was letting on. "I can't explain anything to them if you don't explain it to me…!"

Kirby had firmly told him to shut it and ended the conversation by storming out. Explain it? What business was it of theirs, anyway? Especially now, considering the trouble he and Toaster had nearly-could still nearly-get themselves into with the whole business.

And now, faced with all of them, even inanimate as they were, he realized that he simply didn't know how to explain. Where did he even start?

"Look, I know you're wondering what happened," he said at last, setting his gaze on the lamp (and almost sensing the stupid look in return). "Whatever you've seen of me and the toaster…I—I don't know what to tell you. These last few weeks…well, they haven't been easy. So, whatever you guys think…whatever you're saying…" His tongue dried as he stared at each of them.

What exactly was he going to say? That he was sorry? That he missed them? That he and Toaster…? He colored.

"Look, I don't actually have to explain myself to any of you," he snapped. "It's none of your business about…whatever you've seen us do. You'd understand it if this had happened to you. But it didn't, so…so don't give either of us any flak. It's more complicated than you think. So the last thing she and I need are for any of you to talk behind our backs! What we need is a solution! We need to change before we do anything—anything—"

Why did the word "unnatural" keep coming up in his mind? Why was it anything they did as humans was considered unnatural when the humans around them found it as natural as nature itself?

"Kirby?" Toaster called. "Are you up there?"

"I'll be down in a minute," Kirby shouted. But he lingered, even as he looked down at the radio's dial.

"I…I…" He remembered the cabin, how the lamp and the radio woke him up every morning with their bickering. He recalled singing in the kitchen when Rob and Chris were away, and…

…Just when had he started calling them Rob and Chris…?

"Damn natural," he growled. "Just—just hurry up and figure this out, before anything else happens!" he added, as a door opened downstairs.

"Find a way to change us back," he said again, softer this time. "Please. Before anything else starts to feel natural."

Then he had gone downstairs, leaving the attic door open just enough for them to make their exit, and found Toaster waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes watching him hopefully and regretfully.

"Kirby," she said, holding out both her hands in peace as he came down, "I just wanted to say—"

He didn't let her say it. He clasped her face in his hands and kissed her.

It was the most natural feeling in the world.

They said nothing else after that about feelings and changes. Toaster realized that night as Kirby slept beside her that they really had nothing more to say. Making love had been wonderful, incredible, but it was a feeling they would never have when they were appliances again.

So, why talk any further about it? Why practice it any further?

Toaster actually wondered if Kirby would even sleep in the bed with her, now that they realized what they risked by being so close to each other. She could see him struggling with it all through dinner, all through the evening until bedtime came. She'd left him on the couch as she headed for bed, trying hard not to pressure him, not to pressure herself as she sat on the bed and willed herself to stay in control.

But then he'd opened the door, and she'd made room for him in the bed. So they both agreed, in silence, that they couldn't avoid taking risks. They simply would have to be prepared for what came and accept the risks that followed with it.

As humans, they couldn't do anything else.

Going with Chris to the gynecologist the next day, Toaster had to wonder if sex was truly worth all the fuss humans made of it anyway. She was asked to undress, lie on cold, crinkling paper with her legs stretched apart, and stay still as an uninterested stranger scrutinized those places only Kirby had really seen. Even with Chris sitting beside her, holding her hand and telling it wasn't so bad, Toaster wondered why humans even bothered in the first place.

The questions didn't make much sense either.

When had she first started menstruating?

"…Four days ago?" she ventured. Both Chris and the doctor thought she was being coy and had brushed it off.

How long had she been sexually active?

"What?"

How long had she been sexually active…?

"Have you ever loved anyone like you loved John?" Chris interrupted the doctor.

"Oh. No."

First time.

"Vasovagal syncope," the doctor announced, when the questions ran out. Something to do with a nerve in her back and a sensitivity to pain. That was all Toaster understood. That, and the pamphlets on sex the doctor gave her to read (and Chris hinted that Kirby might like to see them as well). She'd was also prescribed pain pills and given tips on relaxation techniques.

"So, it won't be like that every time," she mused to herself. It was different for everyone. In some ways knowing that didn't help…in others, it made sense.

Not everything was the same.

And then, of course, there was the birth control.

Toaster clutched the little container of pills in her hand all through the bus ride home, afraid to let Chris even put them in her purse. They were a lifeline; a chance for both her and Kirby.

To do what? Her mind snapped at her, as tired and sore as her body and worried about things she didn't understand. So you can and Kirby can keep doing something that won't matter anyway?

"It matters now," she whispered.

So?

"So when I'm with him I don't feel so lonely," Toaster tried to explain.

Is that any excuse?

"No…but what else can I do? We've got to find a way to be together, or we may not get through this at all. Do you want to go back to feeling like nothing?"

Her mind was too tired to match an argument like that one. So when she walked through the door of the McGroarty house and found Kirby waiting for her, she simply opened her hands and showed him the small container.

He had shared a sober glance with her- as confused and uncertain as she believed her face must have looked. Then, ignoring everything else in the routine they'd established, he taken her hands and led her up the stairs to what had become their bedroom.

And suddenly sex was not as complicated as they had thought.