So now Marco was in another dimension. He was standing on top of a volcano looking down upon a swamp. In this swamp was a house. And in the house was a member of the magic high-counsil. One of the most powerful magic beings in this and/or any other universe. Also someone who could cook a damn good lasagna, I mean that shit is amazing.
Marco smirked and whistled. Within a couple of seconds his dragon motorcycle Nachos arrived.
"¡Buenos dias Nachos! Are you ready to find a chica who I can give 'el dickos'?"
Nachos nodded and turned around for Marco to mount her. Marco raced off at full speed, jumping off a cliff in slow-motion. Thing is, he didn't really think about the cliff on the other side. Which was too far away, resulting in the two of them plummeting to their death. Idiot.
But because magic Marco survived, while Nachos died from a stalagmite puncturing her anus.
Meanwhile, Hekapoo was in her house, making that succulent lasagna I mentioned earlier. She didn't notice the crash outside, she was wearing her headphones, listening to Slayer.
Suddenly...
*BANG*
The door was kicked open. Hekapoo turned around and from the mist, a figure emerged.
"Who's this. Speak up!" She said as she threw her headset off and drew her weapons.
One step.
Another step.
One more step...
"Pizza delivery for you ma'am?" The Pizzaboy said.
Hekapoo jabbed one of her scissors in his eye and stole his pizza, which she then devoured whole.
"Fuck. That was good. Haven't been this hungry for a long time..." she puffed.
"Then you're gonna love THIS!" She heard someone say and she turned around, before being knocked to the ground by Marco's fist.
"OW! YOU DICKHEAD!" She yelped and she jumped to her feet. Immediatly she noticed something was off... I mean usually Marco was pretty pumped to go on a mission, but... dat fucking bulge tho...
"Whaddya want Marco? Everything is fine in every dimension! Nothing we need to do bruv!" She spat.
"I just came here for some one on one time. Yes, THAT kind of one on one time!" Marco simply replied and winked at the reader.
"Wuh?" Hekapoo said.
"Listen H-poo. Star told me about something called the shipping wars. Something about douchy nerds thinking about which girl in our fictional universe is right for me."
"Oh yeah I've heard of that shit. Kinda gay if you ask me." Hekapoo replied.
"Not as gay as THIS!" Marco yelled and with a quick snip-snip of the old scissors he yanked Tom out of his own dimension.
"OI! What the hell?" Tom yelped as his back collided with the ground. He sat right up and looked at Marco, who was standing above him.
"Marcy-moo, what's all this about?" He asked. He turned his head and noticed Hekapoo looking at the scene before her with a confused look.
"Are you the one chick Marco talks about pretty often? Hekacrap? Hekashite?"
"Hekapoo. God I hate my name. And myself right now." Hekapoo sighed. "Marco what's the point of all this? Why is Tom gay all of the sudden?"
"Well, that's pretty simple." Marco said and all of the sudden he pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at Tom's head.
"The bloke has three eyes. And a man's penis is usually refered to as his third leg. Therefore it's kinda like he has a second dick on his forehead out in the open all the time. Miss me with that gay shit!" Marco said and he cocked the gun.
"JESUS CHRIST MARCO!" Hekapoo yelled.
"WAIT MARCO! YOU WOULDN'T SHOOT ME RIGHT? WE'RE FRENEMIES. TO THE END. RIGHT?" Tom pleaded. Marco lowered the weapon.
"You know Tom..." He said softly, whilst a manly tear rolled down his cheek.
"You make a pretty solid point. And for that, I will spare you..."
"Really? Is that the truth?" Tom asked with a trembling voice.
"Lol jks, ur a faggot Tom!" Marco yelled and pulled the trigger without hesitation.
WASTED
After that little thing happened, Marco turned back to Hekapoo, who was somewhat desperately looking around. Then she realised she had magic at her disposal.
"Whatever you want to do, don't do it pal. You know damn well Markapoo is the one true ship in this, or any other universe. It would be foolish to deny that."
"Oh Hekapoo... poor, sweet Hekapoo..." Marco said as he menacingly walked in her direction.
"You forgot it's Michael McDoesn'texist who is writing this story..."
And with that he lunged at Hekapoo. But she was prepared. She sidestepped and watched as Marco flew past her, smashing his face into the wall. She then grabbed for the only weapon within close range...
Marco shook his head and turned around, only to be met with a big tin of red-hot lasagna being thrown into his face. He reacted quickly and opened his mouth wide enough to swallow the entire tin whole, without burning anything at all. Because you can do that.
"Well shit, guess I'll have to kill you another way then." Hekapoo said and she threw a fireball at Marco. But the boi in the red hoodie skillfully dodged the fireball and countered with an ice attack. He hit Hekapoo for 45 damage and applied a freezing effect on her. Wait is this an RPG now? OH LOOK A PUPPY!
Hekapoo decided she had had enough. She ate some doritos which healed her up to full health and then with some help from the Force, she lifted Marco up into the air and held him right there.
"Submit to me Marco. Or die." She yelled.
Marco chuckled.
"Gurl why u always lyin'?" He then pulled out the one thing Hekapoo did not expect him to pull out of his pants. And no it was not his 8 inch long rock-hard POLE!
In his hands, Marco held the royal wand of the Butterfly family. It had turned into a golden rod with a glass ball on top. And it came complete, with an anime cat-girl inside the glass ball.
"How did you get that?" Hekapoo roared.
"I killed Star after she tried to tell me Starco is OTP. I kindly told her I disagreed. With my chainsaw. And then I desecrated her corpse by raping it. (THIS IS NOT FOR KIDS :D) And then I made nachos. Oh yeah about Nachos, she's dead as well. Happy accident. Also AVADA KEDAVRA!"
And before she knew it, H-poo was hit by a beam of green light.
*white room confession*
"How the shit did that work bro? That's Harry Potter stuff, not Star vs Evil stuff man." Hekapoo coughed.
Marco looked down on her and placed her arms on her chest. "Just setting the record straight H-poo, nothing personal. Any last words before you go?"
"Just tell Rhombulus... he owes me those ten bucks I won with our yearly game of strip-poker. Fucking bastard's always late on pay..."
And with that, Marco laid another ship to rest.
The mexican chap stood up and dusted off his clothes. He pulled out a notebook and scrapped two items on his list.
"Tomco. Check. Markapoo. Check. Now I just have a couple more ships to sink before I can be with my one and only true love. BUT FIRST!" Marco unzipped his pants and went to town on the dead body on the floor whilst playing the Danse Macabre at max volume on Hekapoo's exquisite audio set.
A good author never lies to his readers. A good author also writes quality stuff. Thank fuck I do one thing right. People who make it through the entire story get a cookie.
You can fuck off now. Next chapter in an unspecified amount of time.