6.
~ That current that existed between them, didn't go away after the movie ended. It was a sudden, unspoken spark of something that maybe needed to be said, but remained unspoken because of mutual fear of what the other might say. A desire that might be revealed or rejected.
Norma seemed to take longer than usual to come to bed after the movie ended. Her bathroom routines were like everything else she did, efficient and seemingly effortless.
Tonight though, after Alex felt that strange force move between them, that thing he couldn't name, she'd grown quite and refused to make eye contact.
His wife wasn't the shy type and never had been since the day he'd met her. Why would mentioning something as innocent and conversational as children have changed that between them? It was a fact she had children and he didn't. A fact that… maybe… they could have children together. They weren't that old after all. People had children well into their forties all the time. It was considered trendy even. He and Norma were healthier than most people their age to. It wasn't an impossible idea.
Everything has changed between them in the past month. Their lives suddenly so different from what it was before they ventured into this strange new land.
A month ago, he had passionately told her he hated her and had meant it. Now, the 'I love you' s slipped so easily from him when he kissed her good morning and goodnight. The absurdity being that he meant it when he had told her he hated her, and he meant it when he told her he loved her. How could that be? She invoked such emotion in him he wasn't used to feeling.
He'd never told a woman he loved her before. No matter how badly he needed to get laid. He sensed such a thing wasn't just words for Norma either. She seemed afraid to admit it to him. She was always afraid of rejection. Of having her heart broken if she gave away her feelings too easily. Her sweet face wrinkling slightly as if he'd break her heart if she admitted she loved him.
They had been so lucky when they had blindly charged into this odd new relationship. A place he was unfamiliar with but so far, had found happiness a little at a time.
Children. No, he had never wanted children. His parents hadn't exactly been a shinning example of what a family should be. They hadn't glamorized parenthood and had always treated their only child as an unwanted, defective burden. Between the severe depression, alcoholism and corruption, Alex Romero didn't have a good opinion of having a family. He'd always been better off on his own.
Still, he couldn't escape the idea Norma had sparked in his brain. Ideas that were quick to catch fire and burn. Maybe if they had met ten or even twenty years earlier… things would be different. They would be different people.
Alex closed his eyes and refused to engage in that idea. Refused to give it life or let it play out. Even in fantasy. He could't picture himself like that. As the overweight, always tired patriarch of any family. A man who was outnumbered by his own children. Children who ran a muck in his house, decimated his belongings, took all his money and who was lucky to get five seconds of privacy.
He knew a large family like that. Had gone to school with the parents who were high school sweethearts and now had seven children as though they didn't know what had caused it. He'd noticed the couple had aged rapidly and became completely overwhelmed by the army they had created. An army that might rebel at any second and take over the home.
Still, he couldn't shake the idea of his own children. Not an entire army of course, but one or two would be fine. He wouldn't be opposed to a couple of nice, well behaved boys who he could teach about cars and take on fishing trips. Two boys he wouldn't allow Norma to smother with too much attention, but who revered their mother and were fiercely protective of her.
Preferably they would be close in age so they could grow up together and be their own best friends. It might be nice. This house was certainly built for more than just himself and Norma to wander around in.
Alex closed his eyes and shook his head. He wasn't going to allow himself to think like that again. It was dangerous to think like this. Now was the time in life when he and Norma should be enjoying the benefits of an empty nest. Not thinking about replenishing it with screaming and demanding new life. That same couple who married right out of high school and had seven kids, were counting down the days till the last one left.
Norma's two boys were adults now. Legally at least. Norman's fate would always be up in the air, but for now, he was away from home for the foreseeable future as long as Alex had a say. Dylan was going to make it on his own and that left Norma and Alex alone.
'It wouldn't be the worst idea…' an intrusive thought barged into his brain before he could stop it. 'Norma is a very attentive mother and… another baby might calm her down.'
He wanted to slap himself for even thinking that. Where had that idea come from? They couldn't start a family.
'A son of my own. My legacy. I wouldn't have to worry about what I would leave behind anymore. I wouldn't have to be alone.' this inner voice whispered in his ear.
He felt oddly calmer at the idea. It was that same voice that had whispered in his ear that it would be alright to marry Norma. That nothing bad would happen if he married her and that it would be like tripping and falling in a deep snowbank. A little scary at first, but then it was surprisingly wonderful.
That was where he and Norma were just now. Deeply nestled in the snowbank after falling in and avoiding hidden rocks. Now, they were delightfully isolated in their own little world. Their own world that was hidden and safe from others. A world no one could see or understand but them. All their secrets keeping them safe from the outside world. Their bubble seemingly intact, but still so fragile.
"Alex?" Norma's voice broke into his thoughts and he looked up from his dresser to see she was in her normal house coat. Her make up scrubbed off and her skin still radiant. As if she were a young woman in her 20's.
She was looking at him curiously. Her expression wondering why he was so lost in thought.
"You looked upset." she told him with her ever ready candor. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah." he said quickly and tried to brush of her concerns by putting on that fake smile she never fell for. She didn't fall for it now and her eyes scanned over him as if able to read his every thought.
"Okay." she said suspiciously.
"You mind if we just go to sleep? It's been a long day for me." he said avoiding her gaze. What was it about mothers and always seeing the truth? Norma could always tell when he was lying just like he could always tell when she was lying.
"Sure." she said and kept looking him over as he undressed for bed.
"Thanks again. For the trees. It was a nice surprise." she said pulling back the covers of their bed and shedding her blue bathrobe. She was wearing an incredibly modest, old fashioned granny style night gown that invoked no sexual desire on her husbands part. Something he was thankful for tonight since his desire for her was prickling hot and he found it a little difficult to keep his hands to himself.
"You're welcome." he said climbing into bed and avoiding looking at her. "Any idea what you want for Christmas? We haven't really talked about it."
"I thought the trees were my Christmas present." Norma said snapping off her bedside light as soon as she settled in next to him. Her body, hips especially, moving too close to him.
"No." he said breathing a nervous sigh.
She smelled good. Whatever soap she used was clean and comforting. Nothing too fragrant like overpriced perfume trying to cover up something. It was soap mixed in with her natural body odor and it was more than enough to arouse him.
"I don't remember the last time I got a real present." she admitted sadly. "Alex, the trees were enough. I really do love them."
"It'll be nice to have something to unwrap on Christmas Day." he told her. He'd already planned her present and he wouldn't allow her to downplay the need for a gift. Besides, he knew a trap when he saw it. If a woman said he didn't have to get her a gift, he had better get her a nice gift if he ever wanted to see her again.
"Yeah." she admitted shyly and her hips, those devilish hips, moved closer to him. Her body was warm and inviting him to be close to her. The fabric of her night gown was soft and too thin for the night air. How easily it could slip off her body if he wanted it to.
"You know, I got you a present." she said happily.
"Oh?" he asked in the darkness. Once more the room was illuminated by the blue glow of the motel sign down the hill.
He was a little curious now. He wasn't used to getting presents himself and it was rare to get them from a woman. There was the secret Santa at work, but that was always a disaster waiting to happen. Alex normally got a gift card which was good enough for the pointless endeavor of proving people didn't really know him. Or care to get to know him.
"What did you get me?" he asked hopefully.
"You'll have to wait and see." she teased. He could tell she was smiling although her back was turned to him. Her hips still pressing too close for him to ignore much longer.
Alex genuinely hated surprises. Especially information he wanted to know right at that moment. What could Norma have gotten him? It wouldn't be the standard gift an occasional fling would get him. Cologne or a lazy sexual favor. Norma was more ambitious than that. He couldn't think of anything he needed or even really wanted.
"It's already under the tree." she said mockingly. "You probably missed it."
"Well, now I'm really curious." he huffed in annoyance. It was true he hadn't noticed anything under the freshly cut pine tree Norma had placed and decorated in the living room. Like with most things, she hadn't done the holidays halfway just because Norman and Dylan weren't home. The tree was decorated to perfection and the extra limbs were reused, tied with red velvet and adorned her piano and coffee table. The entire living room smelled heavenly of a pine forest and Alex could only imagine the Christmas mornings she had planned to have here in this house.
Christmas mornings with her two sons that might never come home again.
"You'll have to wait and see." she told him sleepily and he heard her stifle a yawn.
"You're not tired already." he accused harshly.
He felt the bed shift as she rolled over to meet him. Her face looking sleepy, but she wore a contented little smile of comfort and satisfaction.
"Thought you said you wanted to go to sleep." she murmured drowsily without opening her eyes.
Alex felt oddly wired and his body was honestly used to the comforting affections his wife had been giving him every night. Even if it was something as subtle as kissing and late night talking, he didn't like that she could so easily go to sleep without some kind of contact.
"Well, I do." he said quickly and settled in more comfortably beside her.
She looked cozy nestled in the blankets and her face was serenely at peace with the world.
"I mean…" he said restlessly. "It's still early."
She snorted a laugh.
"So you don't want to go to sleep?" she asked. Her smile blooming wide on her face and her temperamental foot kicking him playfully under the covers.
That was all it took. He felt his arousal roar sharp and angry at her teasing. Her freshly washed body, her luminous skin, her always perfect smile. All of these were so magnetic to him, he could hardly keep his hands off her.
Before he even realized what was happening, his hands had seized her hips. Those hips that had been pressing and bucking up too close to him all night anyway and ruthlessly pinned her body down with his own.
Norma didn't seem to mind at all. She was laughing and smiling as though she's won some kind of victory. Perhaps she had.
"Alex, we should get some sleep." she whispered with a fantastic grin on her face. Her legs easily cradling him, and allowing him to move with her body.
"I…" he said feeling suddenly helpless and at a loss for words now that his arousal was becoming more insistent. He could actually feel the blood draining from his brain to much more needed appendages and with the blood loss, came loss of all thought process.
She was looking at him with that same smug satisfaction while her night gown was somehow being pulled down to expose her breasts. The granny night gown hadn't been a modest choice at all. It was made to easily fall off her at the lazy pull of a silk ribbon around the top.
Her tender skin was beautiful in the hard blue neon lights.
She looked at him curiously now that he'd pulled down her night gown and had a full view of the body she so willingly gave to him.
Her expression seeming only taunt him even more. She made no effort at all to stop him or encourage him. She allowed him to do what he wanted, feel and grope as he pleased. His hands exploring her body's firmness and softness till he finally realized with sudden alarm that she'd gone to bed without panties on.
It felt as though she'd seduced him. Tricked him in some strange way he hadn't figured out yet. Norma was perfectly capable of getting what she wanted from any man. From him especially. He'd never been able to say no to her. No matter how outlandish her requests had been. The first time they'd ever been together, really together as something more than friends, he'd warned her not to play games with him. Not to try her little seduction trickery that beautiful women played so well.
"Don't." he breathed and felt her hips rise up and her legs wrap around him. She was emitting a heat between her legs that was becoming very distracting. If he didn't satisfy his need, it was a need and not a want, for her soon, he would be in serious trouble.
"Don't- don't do this to me." he managed to get out before his hips melted helplessly into hers and all he could think of was her warmth and her comforting body.
"What am I doing?" she whispered in his ear. Her voice unusually innocent, but her legs spreading wider and he could feel that heat beckoning him ever closer. His arousal already hard and demanding satisfaction, but there was a nagging sense in the back of his brain that he was being tricked.
They had never really talked about birth control, had always been safe when they were together. They were responsible adults after all, but were seeming to bypass all that tonight.
Her hands were pulling off his shirt and the feel of her naked breasts on his bare chest was electric. Warm flesh on top of warm flesh on a cold night was so primal and necessary.
"You're… you're seducing me?" he said. Only it was more of a question. His mind wasn't working right and her beautiful face lit up when she smiled.
"Alex." she grinned. "I'm not doing anything to you."
Her voice was calm and assured. She knew her value and her power over him.
Women like her used to be accused of witchcraft.
He could feel her foot grazing over his leg. Feel her body wanting to open up to him.
They had to stop. They had to slow down. Even for them, this was too much too fast. He could so easily fall into this moment and nine months later, find his life had changed all over again. Becoming even more complicated than it already was. Only this time there would be an innocent in the snowbank with them.
No, they couldn't just recklessly leap in this time. As much as he loved her, as much as he was falling in love with the idea of his two well behaved little boys…
Alex felt a pain in his heart at the idea of sons not yet conceived and might never have a change to enter the world. A pain so dull and radiating that he almost gave in. Almost.
"Sorry." he said and rolled away from her. Her warm, comforting body was difficult to let go of, especially with the cold night air all around them.
"Alex?" she questioned harshly. Her voice tinged with hurt at his leaving. Ignoring her, he pulled away and abandoned their marriage bed.
He didn't look back. Only left to spend an uncomfortable night alone in Dylan's room.