22.

~ Emma was full of energy now that she had her new lungs. It was something Norma was intensely jealous of. She was still finding it hard to summon any strength it was difficult to hide the fact she was so tired all the time from such a crowded household.

Norma had been used to Emma being withdrawn and conserving her energy when she was sick. Now, it's like she was any eighteen year old girl and Norma found it slightly exhausting being around her in her new condition.

"So, it's too late in the semester to do anything." Emma was explaining while looking over the course catalog online of schools she wanted to apply to. "But I was thinking I would go ahead and get my GED, and start taking summer classes."

Norma nodded and rested her head on Emma shoulder. The younger woman had joined her in the guest room and the pair of them were settled comfortably in bed together as if on a sleepover.

"I was wanting to study art history, and maybe history in general." she went on. "They also have a really exciting women's studies course here that I want to take to."

"There's no reason why you have to limit yourself." Norma said trying to sound supportive. She wasn't prepared so such energetic talk of college prep. All these things seemed a world away to her and where she was at that age. She'd never been able to do them and only people in movies talked about things like college classes. Now, it felt like luxurious, idyllic conversations. Not real at all.

"You're still young." Norma added.

"I don't know if I even want a degree." Emma admitted with a shrug. "I just want to explore a little."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Norma added.

"I really want you to take this art class with me. When you're feeling better."

Norma looked at her in alarm.
"I feel fine." she said defensively.

Emma stared back at her with wide eyes.

"I know." she said quickly. "Just… the walls are thin here. You've been sick every morning-"

"I'm fine." Norma said a little sharper than she meant to.

Emma looked hurt at the rudeness and Norma felt bad she had snapped at her.

"I'm sorry." she sighed. "It's just… everything that's happening."

"It has to be scary." Emma added softly. "Was Sheriff Romero happy?"

Norma closed her eyes and shook off the idea of telling Alex anything.

"He wasn't happy?" Emma gasped. Her voice shocked at the idea.

"I haven't told him." Norma admitted.

Emma was silent for a moment. Her large brown eyes seeming on the verge of tears.

"Oh." she said at last.

"It's not the right time yet." Norma whispered. "Just… too much is going on… with Norman. I don't want to worry him."

"Right." Emma nodded.

The two of them were silent for a little while. Emma coasting through funny animal memes meant to make Norma smile.

"Dylan and I are really glad you're here." she said at last. "It's nice having another woman to talk to."

Norma smiled softly to herself. She knew Emma had adopted her as a mother figure from the day they had met. She'd discovered that young women tended to do that when they didn't bond with their own mothers. They searched desperately for a maternal figure to latch onto and Norma had fit the bill perfectly for Emma.

Norma had done the something herself when her own mother had failed her so completely. She wished more than anything she had a good mother to rely on. To talk to. Failing to find one in real life, she'd found her maternal substitute in old movies and in television. The eternally perfect homemaker and domestic goddess who could nurture her back to health. That's what she wanted in a mother. And that's who she wanted to be.

"Ladies." came a smooth voice interrupting a funny video of a cat riding around on a robot vacuum set to gangsta rap.

Norma and Emma looked up to see Alex was home and had barely made a sound when he came down the hall.

"Hi, Sheriff." Emma said in her always gentle voice and unhooked her arm from Norma's before taking the laptop and leaving.

Alex had waited until Emma had left before closing the door.

"You Emma having fun?" he asked pulling off his coat and coming to sit on the bed next to her.

"We were looking at classes she wanted to take." Norma told him. "Then at funny cat videos."

"Ah." Alex said.

"You shaved." Norma brushed her hand against her own chin in appreciation of the cleanly shaven face of her husband.

Alex smiled.

"You didn't like the beard." he told her.
"I never said that."

"You specifically told me to shave, Norma." he sighed in exasperation.

Norma had to think a moment. She might have. Her memory was a little fuzzy just now. Sleeping too much was taking a toll.

"Oh." she realized and he smiled and nodded.

"I was hoping we could talk a little." he said in a gentle voice. It was the same voice he used on Norman the first time he took him to PineView. A tone that said he didn't want to scare her, but that she needed to trust him.

"Okay." she sighed feeling slightly nauseous again. It felt more like acid reflux now and she wanted to take another nap. It had been the same levels of exhaustion with Norman and Dylan so she wasn't worried.

Alex took a deep breath as if gathering his strength.

"What?" she asked. Whatever it was, it was serious. Was he leaving her? Did he want a divorce? Did he know about the baby and want her to abort it?

"You know about the DEA raid." he said slowly.

"Yes."

"The county offered me a buy out on my contract as Sheriff. An early retirement, and I took it." he said carefully.

Norma felt an instant rush of panic. Alex didn't have a job? What did this mean?

"I'll still have all my benefits for us, for life, and I'll still have my pension." he assured her quickly. "My lawyer argued to my favor and they didn't want a lawsuit. It's the best deal we could have hoped for, Norma. I'm just… not Sheriff anymore."

He looked a little said and Norma breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad." she admitted.

He looked at her in surprised and she ran a hand over his cleanly shaven fave. "I love my husband, but I hated Sheriff Romero." she said honestly.

He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Alex, that job was too stressful for you." she sighed. "Everything that's happened. I'm glad."

"I've got a new job." he said brightly. "I think it will be good for us."

"Oh?" she said in surprise. She'd been used to Sam going through jobs quickly and not finding work for weeks or even months.

"Yeah, it's here in Seattle. Private security for an apartment building. The owner provides a very nice unit for us. He even wants to talk to you about being a manager. Since you owned a motel and have experience." he said.

Norma looked at him dumbfounded. They didn't live in Seattle. This wasn't their home. Why would they take a job here and move here?

"You want us to move to… Seattle?" she asked.

Alex nodded.
"Norman is in White Pine Bay. At PineView. My business is in another state. My house." she argued.

"We can hire a caretaker." he said quickly.

"Alex, moving? Abandoning my house? My investment? Norman?" she huffed.

"Not abandoning." he said quickly. "It will all still be there. Norman is still getting the best care possible and we will hire someone to look after the house and run the motel if you don't want to sell."
"I thought you wanted to fix up the house with me." she said feeling an overwhelming need to cry come over her. She'd pictured a perfectly restored house on the hill. Painted in its' original yellow with white trim. A pink cherry tree in full bloom out front. All of it starting to fade.

"If it doesn't work out, we can go back." Alex reminded her quickly.

She wasn't sure what to say to him. How to explain how she felt.

"What's the saddest you've ever felt?" she asked instead.

Alex opened his mouth to answer but looked perplexed.

"Was it when your mother died?" she asked boldly.

"Probably." Alex said in a dull, monotone. He never liked talking about his mother.

"My whole life," Norma sighed regretfully. "I was able to get over things other girls couldn't."

Alex looked at her curiously and she nodded.

"My dad hurting us. My brother, bad husbands. I don't know why, but I was always able to move on. I never let a bad thing, a bad moment really hurt me." she admitted.

"You're strong." Alex told her.

Norma shook her head.

"I don't think that's it." she laughed. Her laugh coming out bitter and without mirth. "You know, I was in the house, before that bank raid happened, very happy and suddenly… I wasn't any more. Suddenly, I was the saddest I've ever been in my entire life. I felt so broken. More broken then I've even been before. I don't think I'll ever be happy again. Not really."

Alex blinked and looked horrified but it felt good to be totally honest for once.

"Because I was planning on moving Norman's bedroom to Dylan's old room. So he'd still have a place to live and visit when he came back home from PineView. It would make more sense to have the nursery in Norman's old bedroom. Closer to us, you know?" she sniffed and shook her head. Alex tried to take her hand but she brushed him off. Determined to have her say.

"Then…" she smiled sarcastically. "Then I realized I couldn't have Norman home with the new baby. I couldn't have my son in the same house with an innocent, helpless child. Especially one fathered by you."

She felt a coldness creep into her. That sadness coming over her that she'd been trying to fight.

"Because, I know in my heart that my son is a killer, Alex. He killed his own father. He might have killed Bradly, I don't know, he probably killed Emma's mother. I've lied to myself for so long and I can't lie to myself anymore. Norman is a murder and I can never have him near our child. Not ever. He can never even know… about the baby." she said softly.

She looked at her husband.
"That was the saddest moment of my life. Realizing that my son can never really come back home. Back to me. That I can't be in his life anymore. Because we have to protect our child now. I can't stop loving Norman, or wishing he was better, but I can't change the fact he murdered those women. What would he do to our baby? What would he do to me for getting pregnant in the first place?" She shook her head at the idea of such a betrayal.

"I've been so blind." she finished. "So stupid."

"Norma." Alex said slowly as she brushed away the tears with the back of her hand. She hand't meant to start crying.

His own expression worried.

"H- how far along are you?" he asked with a slight stutter.

"Six weeks." she said quickly. "We'll have to wait till the ten week mark before the doctor can do the CVS."

"What's that?"

"The test for downs." she told him.

A new look of concern flashed on his face.

"I'm forty, Alex." she said. "There's a higher risk involved. Something like one out of a hundred, but that's still enough to be concerned about."

He only nodded.

"They'll test for other things to." she said. "It's a high risk pregnancy."

"I'll go with you." he said quickly. "To… for the test."

"You don't have to have to."

"I want to."

"I… no matter what the tests say… I would want to keep… I don't want to talk about abortion." she told him. "I had a miscarriage when Norman was younger."

"The baby's going to be fine." he told her. That slightly dazed look had passed and he seemed more confident again. "I've got a good feeling about it."

She nodded and felt slightly happy again.

"I think I would like to see this apartment." she told him. "I mean, if you've found a new job already."

"Private school is really close." he told her. "According to the building's owner the little blazers are very cute."

"Don't tell me that." Norma smiled. "It's too soon to be thinking about putting him or her in school."

"We should at least go and see it. Maybe get on the waiting list. Our kid might be one of those genius who makes millions of dollars in the tech world and takes care of us." Alex said with a sly smile.

"Won't that be nice." Norma said wistfully. "You're not worried about… a baby at our age?"

She'd been concerned about that most of all. Even more than the fear of a major disability. She'd been scared Alex wouldn't want to be a parent this late in life.

"No." he said easily. "I think we're ready. We're mature enough. Look, we're getting our own place and everything."

He nodded at the shared wall that connected their room to Dylan and Emma's bedroom.

"We won't have to be under the old man's roof much longer." he added sarcastically.

Norma snorted a laugh and felt a rush of relief.

"We're going to be fine, Norma." Alex assured her. "You'll love the apartment. It's a lot less to maintain than the house."

~ Norma did love the apartment. Alex hadn't mentioned, and maybe didn't even realize that it had its' own private patio and small plot of grass where she could restart her herb garden again. A type of oasis in the heart of the city. Or at least it would be when she was done with it.

The apartment was nicer than anything she'd ever lived in before. Fully furnished and everything felt like new. Like something from a magazine. Mr. Warren quickly explaining he'd spent a fortune gutting the old hotel and turning it into luxury apartments.

"You'll understand how I need Mr. Romero here. He seems very no nonsense." Mr. Warren said worriedly. "My tenants like to see a stern figure as security and someone to come when they call. Not that it happens a lot, but I have a few tenants who are more fearful than most. Suspicious of unusual activity, that sort of thing. One who's been a total shut in for the past five years. Her son brings her groceries, I don't ask and as long as she lets the exterminator in, it's fine."

Norma liked Mr. Warren who promised he would leave the nice furniture in the rooms for them.

"I'm told you owned and ran a motel in Oregon?" Warren asked.
"Yes." Norma said. "They moved the highway and business has slowed. My husband and I are in the process of moving."

"Changing times. It's not always worth it to own your own business anymore, I can tell you that much." Warren shook his head. "Anyways, this will be much easier than running a motel, I'm sure. All the units are occupied and I do have a waiting list. This is an extremely desirable location. Your job will be to answer noise complaints if your husband isn't able to. We don't get a lot of those though. Also book the exterminators once a year, the cleaning crews for the front lobby and hallways. I prefer to hire professionals. We have a storage area for our residents in the basement which you're responsible for, but that requires very little looking after. Most people include it on the rent. Also you'll collect the rent checks, make sure no one leaves garbage out on the front door, that's the worst, and have any illegally parked cars towed immediately. We have guest parking in the rear of the building and resident parking is assigned."

Norma was following Mr. Warren around the maze of hallways and found themselves in the lobby again.

"Mr. Romero will have a few young men under him at all times. Like I said, my residents like to have someone at the front desk, signing for packages, turning away unwanted solicitors, that sort of thing." Warren said.
Suddenly, the effeminate little man turned to her and looked stern.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you about my policy on drugs, or what you need to do if you suspect they are on the property." he said.

Norma sucked in her breath. She tried not to say the first thing that came to her mind but couldn't stop herself.
"This is going to be our home, and I've never allowed that crap in my home." she nodded to the hallways they'd just come from. "I also didn't allow it at my motel if I could possible stop it."

"I'm so glad you and your husband are going to be here, Norma." Mr. Warren said. "I feel like I can finally sleep easy now."