Overlooked Love Ch. 3

…

All on Sodor was rather quiet after Sir Topham Hatt scolded his number 2 engine. Word of Edward's outburst spread quickly and, as expected, no one could believe it. Not even the Diesels.

No one would talk to Sodor's number 2. Not even Edward's closest friends, Henry, BoCo, or Duck would. And while it hurt, he knew he deserved it. He deserved everything that was happening. The only one who didn't deserve any pain of any sort, was Thomas.

But what did Edward do?

"I hurt him…" He whispered as he moved down the line, pulling cars of blueberries. "My words probably hurt almost as bad as physical wounds – if not, worse. Sir Topham Hatt was right. What was I thinking?"

"It's also my fault, Edward." Dean mumbled quietly from his cab. "I should have stopped you from yelling at all. That swan could've been replaced. It could have been avoided."

Though they both noticed Kurtis hadn't spoken a word.

"Kurtis…?" Edward asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

"I suppose." He replied. "I did speak to Jason and Derek last night. I learned… some sad news."

Edward immediately put on his brakes, fear bubbling in his boiler. "W-what is it..? Did something else happen to Thomas?"

"Well, not necessarily." Kurtis sighed, straightening his hat. "But I learned that when you were… confronting Thomas… he was actually on his way to us, to tell the truth of what he had done."

Edward felt weak. "W-what…?"

"You heard right, Edward." Kurtis sighed. "He was going to tell us the truth."

The engine looked down as his breathing started to become heavy. "What… what am I to do? How can I fix this…?"

…

Thomas sighed as he slowly looked around his shed. Even though he had fallen asleep after his crying fit a little while ago, he woke up shortly after, and was unable to fall asleep since.

He was glad for the colour changing lamp that was plugged in and turned on for him, but it did little to help his mood, in all honesty.

The lithe gold light reminded Thomas of all the fun times he had with Edward. Playing tag and hide and seek, racing down the tracks and behind bushes, determined not to be found or tagged. The times they would spend in either the edge of Henry's forest, or in Tidmouth when they were alone, singing songs, both in English and different languages. Thomas loved Edward's singing voice… especially when the songs were for him.

The sharp blue light however… while it had reminded Thomas of happy memories as well; Edward telling him stories at night, the star filled sky, and crashing blue-grey waves of lakes and oceans… it also reminded him of…

Thomas shut his eyes as Edward's piercing… hate filled gaze bore into his mind yet again.

"How could I have ever loved you?!"

"You were… a-are my brother…" Thomas whimpered into the silence. "You're- you're supposed to love me always… r-right?"

Then he broke down, and sobbed. He cried his heart out. Though his cries and whimpers went unheard as it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep.

Thomas was thankful for that – for he did not know how to explain his emotions to anyone if they were to walk in at that current moment.

"Name it…" Thomas whimpered, looking out a window and at a forest. "Name what you want me to do to fix this, Edward… and I'll do it."

…

Edward silently made his way back to Tidmouth after a long, hard day of work late that night. It seemed to have been harder than any other day he worked – though he knew why.

When he reached Tidmouth, he was greeted with deafening silence, and cold gazes. Edward merely sighed, for he was not a magician. He couldn't fix everything with just a wink of an eye. He was a normal engine, who made mistakes.

But this mistake could prove to be far beyond fixable.

With this thought in mind as he turned on the turntable, Edward felt tears come to his eyes as he backed into his shed. "I was such a fool…" He mumbled to himself, though unaware that the others were listening. Because while they were upset with the old engine, they wanted to know the way he felt – and if he were willing to fix this.

"I've never lost my temper like this…" Edward muttered. "Especially not at Thomas. Oh… my little brother… what I've done to you is unforgivable. But… I hope you can find it in you to forgive me… I'll do everything in power, to see your smile once more. Even if only one more time."

Edward then looked down, away from the star studded night sky, and to the ground. "Though… I don't know how… I don't know if you'll even want to look at me when you get back."

"…what am I to do…" Edward whispered in shame and hopelessness as he backed further into the shed and fell into a restless, dreamless sleep.

…

"Alright, little one." Came a voice as the doors to Thomas' shed were opened. "Time to get-"

"I'm already up."

As the doors fully opened, William, Jason, and Derek were shocked. "How long have you been up, Thomas?" William asked quietly.

"Since… sometime last night." Thomas answered. "I woke up just a little after my fit last night, and I wasn't able to fall back to sleep. What time is it?"

"Almost 11:30." Jason said slowly.

"11?!" Thomas gasped. "We- we need to go!"

Derek quickly moved forwards, and placed his hands on Thomas' boiler. "No need to rush! We talked to Sir Topham Hatt this morning. We can come back any time today."

The little engine let a breath of relief leave him. "Oh… alright. But… what if I want to go back now?"

"Well, we can." Jason said, walking further into the shed with William next to him. "But are you sure you're ready?"

Thomas didn't miss the slight concern in Jason's tone. He looked away, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes… I'm sure. I want to see my friends."

"Do you want me to come?" William asked.

Thomas looked back at his Father, his eyes wide. "I couldn't possibly ask that of you, Father! What about your work here?"

"I have friends that can take over until I return. You remember Tanner, right?"

Thomas' eyes lit up. "Oh yes! He's amazing!"

"Exactly." William chuckled. "He will cover for me. That is, if you want me to go."

"Of course I do!" The little blue engine giggled. "I want you to meet my friends, and for you to see what I do! They'll love you!"

William chuckled. "Your jobs will love me?"

Thomas blushed. "Father!" He groaned, drawing out his cry.

"I'm just messing around." William smiled. "Well, we should get going. I surmise that it'll be near or almost sunset by the time we reach Sodor."

"Yes, Father." Thomas said quickly just as the three men went into his cab.

…

Edward sighed. It had been a rough day just like before. Every engine he knew personally was shunning him; even Henry, Duck, and BoCo. His day was long and strenuous. His axels hurt and he was constantly out of breath.

With the combination of his already weak state and heavier work schedule, he was frailer than usual. Though, that wasn't his main concern. His main concern was that fact that the day was mostly half over, and Thomas still hadn't returned from the Mainland.

He hoped that Thomas would arrive home soon. In the meantime, he was heading back to Tidmouth. But they stopped at the docks, which were empty due to the works – both engine and person – either having gone home or on their break.

"Hold on, old boy." Dean said suddenly. "Kurtis and I need a drink, we'll be right back."

Edward watched his crew walk away with broken eyes. At the moment, he wasn't thinking straight. Looking around, Edward saw a pair of rotting buffers on the edge of the docks just twenty feet away from him.

Breathing deeply, Edward tried to calm his rattling nerves as he slowly made a decision.

What he had done was unjustifiable. He had never let his temper flare like this – or at all for that matter. Worse things had happened, that were Thomas' doing; the tower at Great Waterton, smashing into a stationmaster's house, falling through mines…. But through it all, Edward remained calm, and helped fix anything that had went wrong with a smile on his face.

So what was so different about this incident? Edward didn't know. Because while the job was important – very important – it was just as important as past occurrences. And like all its mistakes – could be fixed.

Slowly, Edward edged closer to the buffers. He wanted to do this, but what would happen, he had no idea. Though at that moment, he didn't care.

So he sped forwards.

Dean and Kurtis happen to be leaving the station just then, coming back to Edward, but to their horror, they saw their engine speeding towards the edge of the docks.

"Edward, stop!"

"What are you doing?!"

"Edward!"

The engine heard their cries, but didn't stop. He was almost to the set of buffers, but just before he could even tap them with his own, he felt another engine couple up to him from behind, and harshly pull him away. Before he even had a chance to cry out in shock or protest, another scream beat him to it.

"Edward, what were you thinking?!"

The sky blue tender engine stilled, upon hearing Henry's voice. As best he could, he looked behind him. From his peripheral vision, Edward saw Henry still pulling him away from the edge of the docks, and more towards safety. "Henry…?"

But then he felt someone buffer up to him from the front. "Not just Henry."

Edward gasped and looked in front of him, and was met with BoCo. "BoCo…?"

"Not just him, either."

The blue engine looked to his left and saw Duck moving on the track next to BoCo. "Duck…"

He felt Henry put on his brakes, stopping both of them. Henry then uncoupled from Edward, and went around until he was in front of Edward on his right, since BoCo was in front of Edward, and Duck was on his left.

"Edward… I'll ask you again. What were you thinking..?" He asked softly.

Before Edward could reply, Dean and Kurtis raced up, and immediately got onto his buffer beam.

"Edward, oh… just… why?!" Dean asked, his voice laced with concern.

Edward looked away, tears streaming down his face. "I don't know… I really don't." He mumbled truthfully.

BoCo sighed, and moved closer to Edward, as if though trying to shield his sight from the docks. "Edward, I know you're upset over what you did, but suicide won't solve anything. In fact, it will only make the situation much worse."

Edward looked back at BoCo with confusion in his eyes. For once, he didn't understand. "What..? How so?"

Duck chimed in. "Well, if Thomas hears about this, he'll think he made you do it and blame it on himself."

Henry moved forwards a bit. "He's right, Edward. Besides, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Edward looked away, not a word able to leave his lips.

"We're still upset with what you did." Henry said. "And I'm sure so is Thomas. But this isn't the answer. But trying to gain Thomas' trust, and build up your relationship with him, is."

"I… suppose you're right…" Edward muttered after a few moments. "But I have to-"

But he was cut off by a whistle. A whistle that made Edward's firebox flare with hope. "Thomas…"

Immediately, he backed away from the three engines that saved his life, bidding them farewell and a lifetime's thanks, and, with Dean and Kurtis now in his cab, he raced off, in hopes of reconciling with Thomas.

…

Thomas smiled from the distance as William talked with James and Percy. It soothed him even more, knowing that William was excepting of the ones that he cherished the most.

Except for one…

"Father… we need to go." Thomas said. "I… have something to do."

William looked back at Thomas, before nodding, bidding the two engines farewell, and then walked back to his small engine.

"What is it you have to do, son?"

"Nothing, actually…" Thomas admitted sheepishly. "I just want-"

"Thomas!"

Thomas froze, suddenly scared as he watched Edward move towards him. "H-Hello Edward…"

Edward stopped when he was three feet away from the smaller engine. "Thomas… please… please just… listen to me."

Thomas stared at him, breathing deeply with fear in his eyes. It took him a moment, but he agreed. "Alright… what is it?"

Edward took a deep breath. "Thomas… what I did to you was very foolish of me. I guess I was just so upset over you breaking the swan that I just blurted out the very first thing that popped into my mind. But I really didn't mean what I said to you, honest."

Thomas stared at him with wide eyes. "You… mean it..?"

Edward sighed. "Yes. I really should've listened to you the first time. And, it's just a glass swan. We can always get another one. In fact, Dean already has. But that's beside the point. I'm sorry, Thomas." He whispered. "I'm so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

Thomas looked at his older brother, unsure of what to say. His eyes were wide in shock and a slight worry. "I… I… I-I…"

But he looked away, before backing up slightly. "No. No, I don't forgive you."

Edward felt himself shatter. "W-What..? But Thomas, I-"

"I can't forgive you." Thomas mumbled, still looking away. "I thought I could trust you. But I see I can't. I never thought you would lose your temper. Especially at me of all engines, what with combined with everything else I've done. You were so calm in those situations. Not now…"

"I know, Thomas." Edward said, his eyes wide slightly, as he moved closer to the smaller engine. "But I-"

"No, Edward." Thomas said, as he back further away. "None of your excuses."

Edward cringed. "Please Thomas…"

"I won't deny you're my brother." Thomas said. "I won't deny that I still love you… but I can't forgive you. I just can't trust that you won't do this again. I just… can't."

"Thomas, I really am sorry!" Edward partially yelled in desperation.

"I know Edward." Thomas said. "But that doesn't change my decision. I can't forgive you… not yet. Not now. And don't ask me when I will. Because… I don't know if I ever will." And with that, Thomas moved onto another track, and away from his brother.

Edward's eyes were wide with defeat. Quickly he went around until he was facing Thomas' direction, watching him leave. "Thomas… no… please… come back."