Resurrection 2013 - the return of Loren Singer

by fictionalmike

AU: what if Loren Singer miraculously survived her unscheduled swim in the Potomac that early January night in 2003? What if she survived, but was comatose for a long time? Who would take the trouble to care and watch over her as the years rolled by? How would she wake and come to terms with meeting her 10-year-old daughter for the first time? Could she ever get home? COMPLETED

3. Declan

Original A/N was added 19-01-2018 in Ch1: They are not mine; I am merely taking them out of the DPB box which I discovered in 2017, playing with them and putting them away again. Characters are borrowed with love and appreciation for the great team who brought us "JAG" - and, far more importantly, the excellent "NCIS" which started as a spin-off; may your following careers blossom.

I refer to my original A/N in Ch1: this is a fictional story, in a fictional Alternative Universe, about fictional characters who entertained us in a fictional TV series between 1995 and 2005. I simply wanted a more-positive outcome for one story-line in the "JAG" canon. After all, isn't that what fanfiction is all about? I was also brought up to consider "if you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything". Mike

To the early reviewers of Ch2 - thank you. You will note that Ch1 review comments had helped to shape Ch2. I intend to continue this protocol!

Hawk: thank you for the tip that "there ain't such a thing as ex-military" - I have re-written Carolyn's poised posture in Chapter 2 and republished.

Now, on with Chapter 3 - "Declan".

333-333-333-333

Saturday, 25th May 2013

Room 1013, Long Term Care Facility

McLean, Virginia

11:45hrs EST

Carolyn's ears had perked up at the piece of juicy gossip which Loren had just released from a ten-plus-year embargo of silence.

"Declan?" she repeated. Loren looked slightly sheepish, but was interrupted at that precise moment by Lorna's return. She took Lorna's hand, squeezed it affectionately and looked at Carolyn. "Carolyn, please come back tomorrow and we'll take this further, if you don't mind Counsellor" (she emphasised the final phrase). "I need your advice - just the two of us". She caressed Lorna's head and asked the young girl: "Tomorrow, Mommy needs to discuss some legal things with Auntie Carolyn and it could get a bit technical; would you mind, darling, bringing one of your painting books so that you can sit with the nurses whilst I have the discussion with Auntie Carolyn tomorrow, please?"

Carolyn looked down, trying to compare this polite 2013 newly-awakened mother, who was carefully setting her child's expectations, with the 2002 driven, closed-off, shrewish, self-centered... ("oh hang on, maybe she is going to take this chance to be a much better member of humanity - and I should help that evolution by not obsessing and remembering the 'old' Loren Singer" Carolyn thought) and Carolyn came up with the only reply possible: "Loren, I will make sure that Lorna has her painting things; we'll come here after church tomorrow and we should get here after about 12 o'clock".

"Thanks; I will then be able to update you on my recovery progress over the next 24 hours". Loren looked settled and satisfied, because she had made up her mind on at least one aspect of her former life. It was time to lift the veil on how her personal life had evolved in the run-up to her swim and Carolyn Imes was the woman to hear that story - and preserve it with the sanctity of attorney-client privilege. Carolyn would willingly accept being "gagged".

Shortly afterwards, Carolyn and Lorna brought the visit to a close and Carolyn headed off with Lorna for their Saturday afternoon visit to the stables for the next riding lesson, leaving the nurse to attend to Loren's medication. At this stage on the first day following a post-coma awakening, the medicines were still being administered mainly via the intravenous drip. The nurse wrote up all the doses administered, then looked at Loren. "You have the rest of the day free and clear Loren, so is there anything you would like us to do for you?"

Loren had already made up her mind for her personal "Day One" objective: "Yes Tracy, how easy would it be for me to have a bath or a shower at some point in the near future if possible please? I don't mind if the answer is 'not yet', but my skin feels odd".

The nurse smiled: "That is perfectly natural to request and yes, we have the wet-room in the corner. We moved your body regularly during your Long Sleep and so we were entirely successful in avoiding bedsores. Give us a half-hour (because all the other nursing staff are gathering for the lunchtime shift handover briefing) but after that we'll get you hooked up, hoisted out and into the wet-room. So the answer isn't an actual 'not yet', it's just a case of 'can you wait please? ' so I just need a bit more patience from my patient, please".

Loren smiled at the nurse's play on words and nodded her assent. "Heck, I've waited over ten years, and last time I was in water it was a bit uncontrolled; of course I can wait a while - maybe even a full half-hour if it would help! Now, I guess I need to start reading up on the last ten years of world events; where do I start?"

The nurse turned to the side-table and produced a laptop; "We prepared this for you (our IT team update this laptop every Friday, so it has become a bit of a ritual to deliver the updates just as Lorna and Miss Imes finish painting your nails). This laptop has a summary of the past ten years loaded on it; you will notice that the Internet has spread and is now pervasive; this is Google, the major Internet search engine, and free-form English will normally bring up what you want. The battery is fully-charged, so I shall leave you in peace and I'll check with you (and bring a charger) when we come back for the trip to the shower."

Loren lifted the laptop: "Wow, this is so much lighter than my JAG brick-shaped laptop. I reckon I am going to like 2013".

Tracy looked down at her as Loren adjusted the screen on the laptop: "Well, wait till we introduce you to what is called a smartphone, Loren".

33A-33A-33A-33A

Sunday, 26th May 2013

Room 1013, Long Term Care Facility

McLean, Virginia

12:35hrs EST

On Sunday morning, Lorna had awoken with a sense of impending excitement at the prospect of visiting her mommy once more. After breakfast, she and Carolyn had attended the morning service at the local church and then returned to the house to collect the items needed for the visit to Loren. Carolyn slipped a fresh legal pad into her slim briefcase with its shoulder-strap, then guided Lorna out to the car and ensured that she was safely strapped in before firing up the engine.

Arriving at the facility, Carolyn signed them both in and headed up to Loren's room, depositing Lorna at the nurses' station with a small bottle of orange juice to keep her hydrated during her colouring session whilst Carolyn walked down the corridor to Loren's room, ready to start the consultation with Loren.

Carolyn's olfactory senses picked up a delicate floral scent as she walked into the room - a noticeable change from the sterile antiseptic atmosphere which had pervaded Loren's room over most of the past ten years. As she heard Carolyn sniffing the pleasant aroma, Loren looked up from her laptop and smiled, as she pointed to herself: "I used a light body spray after this morning's shower - what do you think, Carolyn?"

"Very light, very pleasant, very feminine - very much the new Loren, I believe" replied Carolyn. "So I see that your mobilisation continues?"

"Yep. Dr Andersen has set some very modest exercises for me to do, later today, whilst I am still in bed" Loren replied. "In line with Dr Andersen's programme, I reckon to do a little more every day - the goal is 'until I get tired or breathless', not until I break something!"

Loren winced as she extended her arm to lay the laptop aside on top of her bedding. "But boy oh boy, I now realise that I have lost muscle mass; from yesterday's comment about long-term space flight, the arriving astronauts on Mars are going to struggle to walk, even in low gravity. In my case, I was glad to be supported in a wheeled sling whilst I was taken to the shower yesterday." She smiled again, reaching out for Carolyn's hand. The two women hugged, then Carolyn took her customary seat, crossed her legs, smoothed down her skirt and pulled the legal pad from her briefcase. She pulled out her faithful family fountain pen and poised, looking inquisitively at Loren over her reading glasses. Loren chuckled: "Wow, schoolmarm Imes rides again". The two women laughed together.

Loren marshalled her thoughts and began. "Carolyn - Counsellor - I need your advice: I am minded to let sleeping historical dogs lie, because Declan never knew that he was going to become a father. Let me explain, because I value your opinion on this. I was all booked to fly out to Shannon on the very next day after I ended up having my swim, to tell Declan about my pregnancy and discuss with him what he would want to do, but lying here last night I began to seriously doubt if that would, after all these years, still be a sensible course of action. In the intervening ten years he could well have acquired a wife and a whole new family, so I am minded to leave well alone", Loren began.

"Yes, I see your logic. But are you certain that you don't want to at least explore the possibility of letting him know that he has a child? I mean, what if he or she (or you?) needs a kidney transplant in the future?" Carolyn hoped that her attempt at humour would give Loren a counterpoint to her swift "no-contact" intentions regarding Declan. Loren swiftly thought through her response, replaying her debates with herself the previous evening.

"Carolyn, yes I am certain; wait until I have explained the circumstances of my impregnation, then you may see why I have decided to come down on the side of the sound of silence". Loren leaned back with a sense of certainty.

Carolyn finished her note-taking and then, motioning her fingers in a circle, came up with her first real question. "Hang on a moment Loren, back the truck up. All the investigations, around the time of your swim (and before, with Mac and then Tracy Manetti digging into your love-life as far as they could go) had considered a couple of lovers in the frame. Just for my edification, would you mind laying them out?"

Loren stiffened and, for a moment, gazed at Carolyn with the old "Singer gaze of doom", causing Carolyn to think back over what she had just said. She blushed, looked up at Loren and the two women giggled: "Sorry Loren, that was a really dumb thing to say, my apologies for my poor choice of words. Allow me to re-phrase: please detail your historical love life leading up to your swim".

"OK, in 2001 my love-life was simple (and very satisfying) until I got to Christmas. Lovely Kevin, attentive to a fault, weekends in Boston, plans for a suite at the Willard over Christmas, until his parents summoned him to Hyannis and then 'forgot' to invite me down for the holiday. Then, the lovely 'unique, one-of-a-kind' bracelet which turned out to be one of three - and I wasn't Patty Sachs or Wendy Pearson. Still, I got to prove that diamonds are a girl's best friend - do you know (or even have any idea) what happened to all my stuff in the move to San Diego? I guess that I shall probably need to buy a complete new wardrobe when I get out of here eventually".

Carolyn nodded: "Yes - and you owe Tracy Manetti a debt of gratitude for tracking your possessions. She was an absolute terrier: she tracked down your apartment in SD from the contact records that you left with Tiner; she intercepted the removals company when the truck was scheduled to deliver to your apartment on Coronado (looks like it was timed to fit with your arrival into SD from Shannon) and she arranged storage (we ended up finding a JAG/NCIS budget for it, so you don't owe anyone any money for storage - it got added to the bill for Ensign Lindsey during his sentence in Leavenworth). All in all, a lot of people have done a lot of work for you Loren, over the years. Mail redirection was a pain at first, but eventually the RLSO got the necessary court orders, so there is a pile of mail awaiting you. Fortunately, so much of people's lives is now online (over the Internet) - but we can cover that later."

Loren looked down at her hospital gown and muttered quietly: "I must thank Cdr Manetti when I get out of here. I'll ask about fashion later". Carolyn looked down at her skirt, sat back in her chair and stretched her legs in their customary gleaming black boots and wiggled her feet to mobilise her ankles as she stretched her arms to shake out the stiffness, then smiled: "Loren I would reckon that half your wardrobe is now back in fashion anyway! So, in any case, to answer your question: yes, your possessions are safe and everything is logged - so what happened after the disappointment of 'Christmas Kevin'?"

Loren frowned with concentration as she summoned, from the dark recesses of her memory, a year which had catastrophically not run to her rigid life plan of becoming the first female JAG. "I dumped Kevin the jerk - formally - over Christmas, so I was free and single at the start of '02, but I had fallen in love with the city of Boston during my relationship with him. Sergei was still around and I had enjoyed chatting to him when we first met in Rabb's apartment, but as I said he was more of a BMF for sport, walks, days out and the occasional drinks. I just liked his youthful sense of humour and his daft Russian jokes - he really did make me smile. But frankly, he had bigger issues to solve with his half-brother - and we'll get on to young Cdr Rabb later; but Sergei was..." she paused before continuing: "...a bit of harmless fun and a light distraction".

Carolyn was beginning to understand the complexity of Loren's 2002 love-life, as the story was emerging from the shadows. "So you fell in love with Boston?" she prompted. "Yes, the city spoke to me during my time there with Kevin so I continued a pattern of visiting one weekend in every month, just to soak up the atmosphere, the oysters and the Samuel Adams beers and the Guinness. In February, I was in an Irish bar and this bright, lively, ginger-haired mountain of a man knocked my drink when he spread his arms to make a point to his friends, apologised, bought me another drink but by then I was already in lust".

Loren paused, leading Carolyn to ask: "Declan?"

Loren nodded. "God, he had such lovely green eyes - and the rest of him got my vote as well! He ran a software company in Galway (about an hour's drive north of Shannon Airport on the west coast of Ireland) so he was comfortable amongst the Irish diaspora around Boston where he also had a satellite office. He invited me to his company's celebrations of St Patrick's Day and we just clicked. We both knew it was a bit of harmless fun and we both had absolutely no long-term intentions or plans, but somehow he got under my skin and then he fell under my spell. And I fell - hard!"

Carolyn stopped writing and looked up: "OK, I can guess where this is going and I'll guess that the story didn't remain as 'harmless and platonic', did it? But what about Lindsey?"

"Hmm, Teddy was another embarrassment from the JAG Christmas service with Chaplain Turner in 2001 - I must be honest and say that he was useful for networking and the man actually had real stamina (especially after a good meal, which is counter-intuitive!) - he must have worn out his wife regularly! So he and I fell into a routine of dinner every Wednesday from May of '02 until I deployed to the Seahawk, then things got massively complicated with Teddy around the Christmas of 2002 after I had returned to land-based duties. But I am getting ahead of myself."

"So, coming back to Declan?" enquired Carolyn.

Loren continued: "Yep. With American Airlines and Aer Lingus in the OneWorld airline alliance, he could get to Dulles as easily as Boston, so we started dating more regularly, as we got more serious in the second quarter of '02. He had even broached the subject of me moving to Ireland (perhaps a posting to the US Embassy in Dublin) but I always felt that such a move would side-track my career".

Carolyn smiled to herself - the old ambitious and ruthless spirit of Loren Singer had really been a driving force in this woman's life before she took her unscheduled swim in the Potomac. She returned to her questioning. "And then you got pregnant before shipping out to the cruise to replace Bud Roberts at short notice".

"Yeah - unplanned obviously - a split condom during a particularly active weekend in Boston around the start of August. Declan's company had closed a massive deal, so naturally he invited me to celebrate - all weekend long! And boy, did we celebrate: I actually got to despise the taste of champagne that weekend. It wasn't until some weeks later that I remembered a drunken comment about a split condom as he staggered back into bed after visiting the bathroom during the night. By the time I realised I was expecting, I had been posted to replace Roberts after he went dancing in that darn minefield. By then, I had amicably wound down the Declan relationship before deploying (I was potentially going to be away for a while and we both wanted to retain good happy memories of our time together - which is why I now remember that he gave me the ring) and I found myself on the Seahawk, unsteady on my legs, with cravings for Nutty Butty and eventually putting on unexpected weight". She paused and looked across at Carolyn: "Carolyn, are you sure that you are ok with me talking about pregnancy and children?"

Carolyn played briefly with her "wedding" ring, then looked up at Loren with eyes that sparkled with unshed tears: "Yes Loren, I've got past that painful episode and I have quite a thick skin (it comes from being a good lawyer), so please carry on".

"So I came back ashore from the 'Seahawk' cruise without the skipper calling for my head, finding myself sitting on the COD alongside the Hotshot Flyboy: he was obsessing as always about my baby's parentage, but I eventually had to tell him that it wasn't Sergei - simply just to shut him up. For all his charm, that man really did nothing for me! Sitting on the COD, just before we were blasted off the deck, I made a snap decision to get an abortion once I was back on dry land; so I told him exactly that. He didn't like it, but I was in all sorts of turmoil when I got back to Falls Church. In a way, I should thank Harriet Sims-Roberts for turning my plans around and making me decide to keep 'The Bump'; you know she had a still-birth with her little Sarah in the November of '01, don't you?"

Carolyn nodded and Loren continued. "So I decided to go to the Admiral at the start of the New Year and take formal maternity leave before I started travelling, with the aim of heading back eventually to San Diego which is why I set up the apartment rental in Coronado and started packing up the DC apartment."

"Anyway, there I was, pregnant over Christmas, looking at a due delivery date some time in May of '03, when Lindsey popped up at my apartment door. He had heard through the Navy grapevine that I was back ashore and he wanted to continue our little 'Wednesday side-arrangement'. The poor deluded fool took one look at me and thought it was his, so I thought 'what the heck, he can help establish a college fund for The Bump'. He had told me that his wife had inherited a legacy, so neither of them would miss five grand."

Loren paused and looked guiltily at Carolyn: "You can see that I was just *so* cut out for motherhood! Anyway, I agreed to meet him the afternoon before I flew out. Then Saint Rabb stuck his oar in (repeatedly) and I ended up agreeing to meeting him at Benzingers". She paused and shivered. "I was all set to fly to Shannon the next day, drive up to Galway and give Declan the news in person - I felt that he deserved that personal visit, at least".

She looked up, catching Carolyn's eyes: "But then I went out to meet Lindsey and he just freaked for no reason that I can remember (although the bump on my head may have wiped that memory) and he lashed out. To this day, I cannot understand my good fortune in being lucky enough to be spotted and rescued. It was a miracle how anyone could have happened to see me in the river, let alone rescue me, after I was dumped off the bridge into that river".

She shivered, and pulled her blanket around her shoulders. "God, I am just so lucky to be here! I could just have easily been washed downstream and underneath something in all the turbulent water flow, with my unborn baby. I hesitate to think about what she would have missed out on". She mopped her glistening eyes with a tissue and blew out a breath which she had been unconsciously holding in. This was the first time, *ever*, that she had told anyone about her tangled love life of 2002-2003 - for that reason, she felt energised and relieved - and grateful for her escape from what could, so easily, have become her watery tomb.

Carolyn sat back in her chair and reviewed her notes as she flexed her hand to eliminate the stiffness which had built up once more as she wrote, balancing her legal pad on her knee. This disclosure from Loren explained three mysteries and laid to rest a fistful of conspiracy theories (not to mention a couple of betting pools that had been set up amongst the staff in JAG at Falls Church; money which had been donated into a college fund for Lorna when she was born in the May of 2003).

Just for a moment, Carolyn regretted that her hands were (metaphorically) tied by attorney-client privilege. The Falls Church scuttlebutt machine would have choked on all this juicy gossip, were it ever to be let out of captivity!

"OK Loren, let's leave it there for today. Tomorrow is Memorial Day and - as you can guess - I'll be up in Arlington to honour the fallen (Lorna usually accompanies me when I visit Pete and his Mom) so it is pretty unlikely that we'll drop by. I normally wrap myself in black and I don't want to spook you by turning up looking like Dracula's daughter. As part of my 'spiritual military widow' obligation, I also go to Pete's grave in Arlington on several other days through the year, including birthdays, funeral anniversaries and (usually) Christmas Eve in daylight. Regardless of tomorrow, I shall definitely be back in here during Tuesday, probably at the end of the day, because I know that the guys and gals from Bethesda will be here to see the newly-arisen Loren."

"Sounds like a plan, Counsellor" replied Loren, resting back onto her pillow. "Would you mind, please, bringing Lorna in for a chat and a hug, please?"

"No problems, partner; I shall go and get her now". Carolyn stood up and packed her briefcase, before straightening her clothing and walking out to get retrieve Lorna from the nurses' station, in preparation for bringing her into the room.

Loren realised just what a debt of gratitude she owed to this lovely, loyal, dedicated woman, who had, unbidden, taken on the role of "in loco parentis" whilst dealing with the aftermath of the worst event that could befall any woman who was involved with a serving military man. She had to find some way to mark her deep appreciation of the time and love and thought and effort and (well, dammit) parenthood which Carolyn had lavished on the growing Lorna over the decade. But was it fair for such a lovely woman to close herself off from the possibility of a future romance? Ten years was a long time for Carolyn to grieve.

Loren was forming a view that Carolyn might be over-compensating for her grief by hiding away from the world - but thank heavens that she had taken Lorna under her wing in the meantime. "Can I even think of ever repaying Carolyn adequately?" she wondered as she drifted off into a brief cat-nap after the cathartic exhaustion of telling the tangled story of "The Loves of Loren".

All too soon, her cat-nap was disturbed as Lorna bounded into the room, for what was fast becoming the customary hugs and hand-clasps. The picture which Lorna had created today was of a striking Arabian horse, saddled and harnessed ready to ride. The three women chatted for a further half-hour, lining up plans for the coming week which would bring them all together, once Carolyn's stressful Memorial Day activities were out of the way.

Loren was beginning to realise the love and affection, for her, which Carolyn had steadily inculcated into her daughter as Lorna had grown from infancy with her real-life mother in a coma. All too soon, the visit drew to a close and she waved goodbye to Lorna and Carolyn. The door clicked shut as the sound of Carolyn's heels faded down the corridor. Loren realised that she was counting the cadence of Carolyn's departing footsteps and resolved to request a television to break the oppressive silence in her hospital room, as she picked up her laptop once more.

Loren was beginning to realise that she could easily become "institutionalised" in this care facility - listening for particular footsteps, waiting for meal times, waking up on cue - but she was determined to take all these items and use them to motivate herself and achieve the best rehab possible in as short a time as possible. She wanted to hold her daughter and then get to feel the fresh air on her face as she stood alongside the paddock fence and watched her daughter ride - alongside Carolyn, of course. Loren was already determined to ensure that the ginger-haired attorney would continue to have a vital role in Lorna's life, because Andersen's comment about strokes in post-coma survivors had struck home - Loren realised that she might not make "old bones" if her health were to take a subsequent nose-dive. Loren had no desire to fade away ever again from her lovely daughter, so some form of stand-in "Living Will" would be an urgent item on the agenda for Tuesday's meeting with Carolyn. For now, she could lean back and rest, grateful for the support that she was experiencing.

"Wow, I am a lucky woman" she pondered. She reached up and switched the overhead lamp to its "dusk" setting. She thought back over the fortunate events which had befallen her as she drifted off to sleep. Monday would soon dawn, bringing with it the last quiet day before the inquisitive research teams from across the USA would start to arrive.

Loren was painfully aware (based on her 2002 "leaving gathering" in the JAG bull-pen when she had headed out to the Seahawk, just before she bumped into Sergei in the JAG lobby on her way out of the building) that most of her erstwhile colleagues at JAG really couldn't have cared less about her. Hell, Lindsey could have tried to push her head back under the water, given half a chance! But it did sound as though Tracy Manetti was worth thanking, for her assistance. Loren offered up a quick prayer to the spirit of Carolyn's "Marine Pete" as she dozed once more before falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

End Ch 3 - "Declan";