I own absolutely nothing from the tv show. This is just a different version of how things may have gone… Hope you enjoy it and feel free to give me any impression, opinion and good/bad reaction it may give. Wish you are ok. Whatever war you are fighting today, don't give up.
This is chapter 5 and soon I will post new chapters.

He was standing right there without saying a word. She was doing the same, but she broke the silence first. "What's going on?" there must have been a strong reason for him to cry like that. He turned around and tried to go away. "Wait!" she grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. She was confused and trying to understand, "Andy, I … " he paused to take a deep breath, and courage too. "I miss you", tears kept running on his face. She took his hand and drove him inside the apartment. She made him set on a seat in the kitchen and put some water in a small pot. He was sitting exactly where she put him, waiting for her to say something. But what could she possibly say? She turned around and saw a couple of eyes needing answers. "Andy, please say something" he whispered her. The semi-darkness of the room perfectly matched Andy's mind: there were things that stayed very clear to her, and never changed, but she still couldn't understand why they broke up, why he just walked away like that when he swore her that he wouldn't have without a fight. She called him for weeks, WEEKS. And again, he moved on effortlessly. "Sam, I am missing you too. But it is not enough to convince me that it is worth. You've never really talked to me, never let me in your life. What I told you in the car that night… well I said it in the wrong way, but I still believe what I said it's true" Sam closed his eyes and lower the gaze. "Andy, why didn't you give me a second chance?" "Because you hurt me like anyone ever did before. When I found out about Luke and Jo… it didn't hurt like that. And what scares me is that you could do that again." He stood up and got close to her "No, Andy, I wouldn't! I wouldn't!" she stepped back instinctively, in a sudden glimmer "Sam, all this doesn't matter anyway: you stay with her! Why are you here exactly?" He tried to formulate something while she was pouring some water in two cups. She asked him if he wanted some lemon, but he shook his head. "Maybe I shouldn't have come. I have no right to mess you up like this." "well, at least could you tell me the real reason why you left me?"he paused again, like he needed energy and strength to say it "I got scared. I wasn't ready to run the way you were doing. I never had a normal relationship, I never really let anyone put down all the walls and demons I live with, Andy. And you were pushing me, wanting more. And I couldn't keep up with you… or accept it so fast. And I didn't want to let you down. But I finally did it anyway, so.." he lift his shoulders waiting for her reaction, but she had none, she was just trying to process what he said. "ok, it has sense" she finally said. They shared silence for seconds and he tried to make a step forward, but she clearly said no with her body. That was pretty clear. "I should go" "yeah, right" "see you tomorrow." "good night." he walked to the door when Gail and Cloe knocked at it.

A week was gone since that night and they never jumped back on that topic: they worked together here and there, easily as in the old times, carefully weighting not to end up stuck in any awkward situation. Andy was working with Luke most of the time and that detachment made her calm and happy. That night she was back to the Penny for the first time after months: they all insisted her to be back with the crew and that overwhelming feeling made her feel her friends were her home and she felt sorry for abandoning them. "I offer tonight, order what you want!" she said abruptly reaching Trace, Gail, Nick and Diaz to the table they were sat. "So, McNally, we have to catch up these last weeks!" Trace said maliciously, while sipping her margarita. "easy on that stuff, Nash! You're out of your twenties!" she grinned at her "I'll never be too old!" she laughed back. When Ollie finally joined them, she raised the glass with the intention to make a short speak "since you are all here, I must thank you for the patience we have had with me in the last weeks… it's been tough, but today is a new day… and I'd like to inform you I'll soon become the new detective of 15 " a general wow came out and they all congratulated with her for the success. She had the date sign on the agenda for the graduation day next month. She was really happy about that and she was looking forward to having her first case. "To the future!" and they all echoed her, smiling and enjoying the moment.

She saw Sam coming in in that exact moment and since he was alone she invited him to join, but he simply smiled and raised an empty glass found on the nearest table. She smiled back, knowing that was his way to contribute to that moment. Oliver observed the entire scene without saying a word. He finally waved his hand to encourage Sam to join them, but instead he approached Steve Peck on the other side of the pub and after a short moment of conversation he left. She dropped the thought of Marlo not being with him, she shouldn't have cared anymore after their last conversation. She blinked for a second and then went back to a poor conversation Gail and Nash were having, referring to a new hot guy they had met during the briefing this morning. A blue-eye-handsome Nash was trying to describe and insisted her to meet. She looked at her friend and prayed her to drop that topic, but Nash wasn't in the mood to give up "you are back, right? This is a new start, why not trying something out of the station, without a gun, normal, with a job at the office, no calls in the middle of the night,… it may work in the end, you know!" Andy smiled to her and thought that she wasn't right at all, but neither wrong. "McNally, you need to look forward and not to look back." "I know, I know… and I will, promise!...So, how's this guy?" "What? You are running against my plan, Nash!" Oliver stepped in "I just don't like your plan!" she almost barked back in a smile "Nash, you can't fight destiny, I have already told you!" "you know what Ollie? That witch of yours is manipulating your brain, be careful!" she joked about his new girlfriend "which witch?" Andy asked, but none of them was considering her "you have no idea how she opened my mind, Tracy! And let me tell you my plan for Andy is better than yours!" "He's the past!" "wanna bet on that Nash?" "Is someone her telling me which plan? What are talking about? My personal life? Without me?" She tried to make it funny, but that wasn't enough to catch their attention. And she lost her patience. "Would you guys listen to me? I have the right to say something, damn it!" they both joined and said "No, you don't!" "What?If you don't' stop right now I leave!" she stated fiercely, crossing her arms. Oliver watched her and see some seriousness in her eyes. "Ok, Nash let's close the deal! You say future, I say past. If I win, you pay my coffee for six months. If you win, whatever you want." she smiled, looked at Andy "Done!" Andy stepped in and added "no, I say done! I don't wanna know about it!" "trust us, my friend, we will take care of you! let's drink over it!" they raised the glass once more and drank it all.

Four months after that night and Andy was already concerned about the two friends who seemed planning stuff for her, she felt suffering from some love disfunction - it could be worse, anyway: was she closing her heart? No, that was nonsense. Tom was a nice guy, maybe handsome but not her type. Too normal, she laughed a bit thinking about it. Normality could have been nice, no? not a bad idea, but she needed some good feeling, that you cannot clearly have in 2 days. Among all those documents Frank asked her to order she had all the time to observe what was going on around her and she landed on Nick and Gail chatting and flirting as teenagers. Gail wasn't the old Gail anymore, she was such a stupid and so nice with him. He was nice in turn too. She hoped one day to be in some nice place they were surely enjoying in happiness. Nick was thinking to propose to her, he was just waiting for the right time. She helped him choosing the ring and she knew it was perfect. That thing she had for him was nothing, a mixture of friendship and brotherhood where she was jealous to share him after all those months spent together. Nothing more and no regrets, luckily.

She eyed back to the documents on the desk and by doing so she caught Sam glancing at her. He immediately looked away as a 8-years-old boy having a crush for the nicest girl of his class. She didn't give anything away and she had repeated herself many times that that road was almost closed for her. Sam Swarek was Sam Swarek. People don't change, they just get old. And, what's more, Marlo was approaching her to give her papers from Luke's last case. She was cold and professional, revealing all her hate for a woman threatening her future. She was becoming paranoid about that, even if some truth was there for sure. She had some plan to keep her out of the sight and finally write the word end to whatever Andy and Sam had in the past. Her new rookie was very close to her and she was practically doing whatever she was about to ask or need.

She came out of that room determined as never.

Andy was handling with the report of the deposition. It was 8 o'clock in the evening and she was ready to leave after a long day, but at least she had closed the case. She called Caroline and asked her to order all the documents and bring them to the safety room. She would have had the court in two weeks so, she had time to get prepared. She switched off the computer, put the phone away and put the coat on. Tom was outside waiting for her: she finally accepted to go on a date with him after he insisted for at least 8 times. He was a smart guy, not a fan for drama, and that aspect made him even more appealing.

Oliver was complaining with Nash, arguing she was using some tricks to win, but Andy knew she actually didn't do anything at all. She said goodbye sending Oliver a kiss and a hug miming with her arms. Trace laughed about that and Oliver got pissed a bit, but he must have told her that it wasn't over. Andy turned back and walked over Tom. Those heels couldn't let her walk properly, but she could manage it. "hi" "hi" he was dressed up and told her she was beautiful. She thanked him as they got in the car.

Many months passed by since that night and things with Tom were fantastic, and she couldn't desire more. He was simple, careful, loved nature and they loved spending their time in Alberta, Andy's favourite place. Looking at the down together and making love under the stars made her feel a teenager again. "I love you, Andy" he told her once in tears when she took care of him doing everything at home when he broke a wrist by falling on the stairs. She kissed him gently and then passionately and felt his love for her was true. Her life was finally taking the right direction and they were really comfortable one with the other. They had spent her birthday in a dreaming place in the Caribbean, where they danced, played in the sand with each other and walked hand in hand by the sea talking about the past, the childhood and the future. They asked each other what they wanted to become in 10 years' and they both wanted a family to loved and to be loved. "stop looking at me like that Andy" "What do you mean?" she said innocently "And the dress you were is not helping, you know" he grabbed her and brought her up the front door of their room and they started to kiss and touch while struggling to open it. Andy was laughing at him, attempting to open the door "Now, you pay for that!" I said in a smile, while grabbing her, uncapable to stop laughing at him, and carrying her to a splendid white king bed. She was happy. He was happy.

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