So…What's a Date?
Kirishima could feel the glare boring a hole into the back of his head. It was so concentrated, deep and menacing that he didn't have to turn around to know who it was.
While Kirishima wasn't sure what a 'farmers market' was, he was pretty sure it was an awful place to die.
Apparently the human event that involved putting up stands and selling specialized goods and foods only came to their location once a month, and every time Jiro would go to get some indie band music and foods on sale. While they were there they had run into Uraraka and Bakugou who had apparently dragged him along to find some cheaper foods. It was supposed to be a nice date with Kirishima and Jiro, but eventually the two girls had started talking and the romantic group of two had become an ordinary group of four. Not that Kirishima minded. He loved spending time with Jiro and if she wanted more humans there then hey, the more the merrier. Aizawa and Present Mic would probably be happy to hear that he'd gotten to spy on Bakugou too. The only problem was that the suspect in question was currently glaring at Kirishima so intensely it was like he wanted his head on a stick.
And Kirishima had no idea what he had done to deserve such treatment.
From underneath Kirishima's arm, Jiro caught Bakugou glaring at him. "Hey, if you're going to glare at my boyfriend, do it somewhere else so we don't have to feel that menacing aura that comes with it." Bakugou only spared a quick glower in her direction before turning back to Kirishima. Jiro on the other hand was already the same familiar shade of pink she turned whenever she called Kirishima her boyfriend. "W-What's up with him?" Jiro asked as she popped a chip into her mouth. Uraraka shrugged, already accustomed to not always understanding Bakugou's intentions. Kirishima on the other hand was silently thanking whoever created him that they hadn't given him the same sweat pours humans had when they got nervous. If he did, he was certain he would be sweating enough to fill the entire planet with water.
What did I do? Did he figure me out? Is my cover blown? Oh please, at least confront me when Jiro isn't here. I don't want her to figure it out like that.
Jiro had started calling Kirishima 'boyfriend' only a few days ago, some weeks after they'd sent the video of Bakugou sparring with Uraraka. He had been calling her 'girlfriend' for quite some time. She had always turned red which he had liked, but she'd said stuff like 'it's too soon!' and 'I'm not sure yet,' which made Kirishima fret. Only when they were playing videogames and Jiro offhandedly called him her boyfriend did Kirishima know everything was fine. Jiro had been the brightest shade of red when he'd started skipping around and doing a happy dance, saying it wasn't a big deal. But Kirishima thought it was. That meant she was his lover, right? Just the thought made him smile.
Then immediately frown when he realized he would have to tell Aizawa and Present Mic eventually. Or reveal himself to Jiro.
With a shake of his head Kirishima tried to douse the fire. That could wait. He refused to ruin what time he did have with her. Just enjoy the time now…A time that would be enjoyed much better if he wasn't having to deal with the very creature that was the countdown to enjoying his time staring at him. Kirishima squeezed the arm around Jiro's shoulder, trying to ignore Bakugou with little success.
Uraraka on the other hand caught the sight of a small booth that caught her attention. "Oooh, Jiro! It's those strawberry cheesecake cookies! Let's get some!" Jiro's eyes lit up at the sight and Kirishima could tell that she was trying not to lick her lips. Without much argument Jiro allowed Uraraka to drag her out of Kirishima's grasp. Kirishima was about to follow her when he felt the claws of death clamp onto his shoulder.
"I need to talk to you," Bakugou growled, sending Kirishima's thoughts into a hurricane. What? Now? He must have figured it out! Kirishima thought the organs in his body were going to freeze up when Jiro paused to come to Kirishima's defense.
Narrowing her eyes she moved closer to Kirishima's side, ready to defend him if needed. "What do you want from him?" After the multiple conversations about Bakugou Jiro and Kirishima had had, Kirishima knew that she was starting to warm up to him. But she still would watch him out of the corner of her eye suspiciously. Not that Kirishima blamed her.
"It's none of your business short-hair," Bakugou barked at her. Kirishima had to hide his sigh of relief. At least she wouldn't have to find out like this. "I need to talk to the hair-for-brains alone." Aw, he gave Kirishima a nickname!
If he had been found out, Kirishima wanted to at hide it from Jiro just a little longer. "I-It's fine Jiro! I'll meet you over at the booth in a bit." Jiro frowned skeptically, eyeing Bakugou like she was his judge, jury and executioner. But Kirishima made sure to keep a reassuring smile on his face so that Jiro would at least believe he knew what he was doing. Even if he didn't believe that.
After a moment Jiro finally gave in. "Fine. Be right back." Jiro jumped onto her tiptoes to give Kirishima a quick kiss on the cheek. Kirishima's eyes widened, but he doubted it was anything compared to the blush on Jiro's face as she spun around and sprinted away.
While watching her go, Bakugou's glare at Kirishima hardened. "Wipe that stupid smile off your face," Bakugou ordered. Instantly Kirishima soured up, keeping a careful eye on Bakugou.
"Right. So…What was it you wanted to talk about?" In his head he started plotting escape plans or ways to contact Aizawa if something went wrong. We should have done something after sending the video, Kirishima hissed in his head. Then again…it wasn't like they had that option.
In the time that had passed since spying on Bakugou, they hadn't gotten Endeavor's response from the video. It had been radio silence ever since it was sent, which caused Aizawa to worry. Kirishima had tried to assure him that maybe it meant the council was taking their time to decide what to do after the new information. But the fact that Endeavor, the general who had been hard-pressed on bringing the criminal in right away for his execution wasn't responding? Even Kirishima wasn't hopeful enough to think that was a good sign. Aizawa had insisted they carry on as normal, try to get more information and not jump to conclusions.
But had that backfired? Had Bakugou figured out who Kirishima really was? Kirishima waited impatiently for the hammer that would fall on his parade. Bakugou narrowed his eyes at him as the tension built so high that Kirishima forgot to breathe.
"…How did you get your human to act different around you?"
…If that was his way of leading towards Kirishima's ultimate demise, he didn't get it.
When Kirishima was so startled he didn't answer, Bakugou snorted in derision. "Different. Can your puny human mind not notice the change?" Human. Human mind. He was safe. Kirishima had to hold his breath to hide the exhale of relief. Bakugou assumed Kirishima didn't understand and went on to explain. "Your weak human acts different around you than mine does. She smiles at you all the time. You both are in physical contact nearly all the time. She knows what you want to eat without you saying anything. You can figure out where she wants to go without a word, and I know that these humans aren't able to read minds. So how did you get her acting this way?" Kirishima decided that Bakugou was a really lucky guy that he hadn't gone to a real human about this, or he'd have a lot of questions and no answers.
Even with Bakugou's list, it took Kirishima a few minutes to figure out what he was talking about. "Wait…that's because…do you mean the fact that she's my lover? Can you…not tell that?"
The suggestion make Bakugou gnaw his teeth together. "SHUT UP! LIKE I CARE ABOUT STUPID HUMAN ALLIANCES!"
"Alliance?" Kirishima tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Dude, what do you think lovers for human means?"
Lovers. Bakugou remembered the pony-tailed human saying that it was associated with liking the other, not an alliance. He hadn't bothered to hear more at the time, but later he wished he had gotten more information. It was clear that if the redhead and his human were lovers and that it was not made for an alliance, then it was different then what Bakugou assumed. If that was it Bakugou wouldn't give a second thought to it. But apparently it was valuable information for him.
"…It has…something to do with liking the other being." Oh gosh. Just how long had Bakugou been in those labs?
"Yeah," Kirishima spoke slowly to avoid pissing Bakugou off. "Having feelings for them. You know, liking them romantically? Wanting to be with them?" It was clear from Bakugou's expression that he did not understand. "Dude, Jiro's acting that way around me because we're in a romantic relationship. That's what people do when they like each other that way."
"…Fine. Whatever. How do you get them to do that?"
Kirishima was befuddled. "What do you mean?"
"How would I get Uraraka to act the same way Jiro does?" He growled. After a moment he added, "But not the way your human does. I don't want that woman, I want mine."
Slowly, Kirishima's eyes began to widen to such an extent that if a human saw him, they would have assumed his eyes were going to roll out of his head. "You…you want to date Uraraka?" Kirishima wasn't even sure what to ask first. While he hadn't believed it would happen, Kirishima had been thinking of this theory for a while. Kirishima had thought he'd gotten it right when Uraraka and Bakugou had sparred together. It looked like they were about to kiss near the end- or, at least Uraraka was going to kiss him. Did Bakugou know what a kiss was? Not all species of aliens used that particular method to show affection. And Bakugou…Well, Kirishima had never been to the planet he was born in, and he had absolutely no idea how he had been raised. But that had been just a theory! The crazy, murderous psychopath named 'king explosion murder' wanted to go on a date? A very human, very peaceful, romantic date? With a human? All Kirishima could think of asking was, "Why?"
"…She smiled for me once," Bakugou admitted. After a second he grinned and crossed his arms proudly. "MY smile. I made her smile, no one else!" The spark in his joy faded when he started scowling at Kirishima again. "The short-haired human smiles at you all the time. I want my human to do that. And I want her to be looking at me like none of these other petty humans exist." Kirishima shivered at the gleam in Bakugou's eye when he said that. I hope his plan B isn't to just get rid of all the other humans so she only sees him…
"That's…a little on the creepy side Bakugou. But that's okay, you'll figure it out in time," He encouraged with a hand on his shoulder. Bakugou narrowed his eyes at him so Kirishima slowly pulled his hand away. "So what you're saying is that you want to be with Uraraka even when you don't know how." Bakugou snarled at his interpretation, but cut himself off when he saw that Kirishima was smiling. "And you admitted that to me, even when you hate people thinking less of you? Man, that's really manly of you Bakugou!"
Truth was, Bakugou's intentions weren't as selfless as that. Bakugou had been feeling sick lately after the reminder that Uraraka trusted him completely. He wanted to fix that. And lately the best way to calm him down was make her smile. Since destroying the world wasn't an option yet, he'd go with that plan. Kirishima, who was unaware of this, went on to think. "Hm…So you need to find a way to get in a romantic relationship with her."
"How do I do that?"
"Well right now, it seems like she thinks you're just friends," Kirishima mused. "So you've got to do something to make sure she knows it's not like that." It was a good thing Bakugou had come to Kirishima about this. Another human may have thought Bakugou was losing his mind. "Usually human's court each other by going on these things called dates! You should ask Uraraka on a date!"
His companion just gave him a deadpan stare. "What's a date?"
Oh, right. Not human. "It's, ah, it's a time where humans do stuff together to spend time as a couple and get to know one another."
"I already know her," Bakugou insisted.
"Sure, but it's different with a date. You already know her as a friend, now you've got to know her in a completely different relationship." Kirishima rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Why don't you…go to a music store? Or play videogames at her house? That's what I did with Jiro!" Kirishima was thankful he'd finally figured out the proper names for those two things.
"Uraraka doesn't like either of those stupid human things," Bakugou stated. He didn't have a clue what videogames were, and while a 'music store' was easy to interpret, Bakugou had never heard Uraraka talk about one.
"Well figure out something that she does like to do then do it. No wait! Don't ask her! Surprise her, humans like that!"
"Eh? How the f #k am I supposed to do that?"
That required some thought. "Do you know any other humans who are good at planning dates?"
…
"Bakugou, where are we going?"
"Dunno. Just stop asking questions." Uraraka pouted. If her guide didn't know where they were going, then there was a good chance that they were in trouble.
It had been the strangest evening Uraraka could remember. As soon as they had gotten home from the farmers market, Bakugou had left the house saying not to follow him. The next thing Uraraka knew was that Momo was calling her sounding jubilant, saying she would plan everything and not to worry about paying for it. When Uraraka had tried to ask what she was talking about, Momo had just giggled and told her to wear nice clothes that evening. Confused but curious, Uraraka had picked out a nice black top and a long pink skirt and waited downstairs for Momo to arrive. When she got there she was shocked to find Bakugou staring at her with wide eyes. He was wearing a nice pair of pants and a red button-up shirt, though the buttons were done wrong and it wasn't tucked in. Before Uraraka had the chance to even ask Bakugou recovered and nodded towards the door and told her to hurry up.
Outside, Uraraka had gaped at the car that was waiting for them. She recognized it as Momo's car, the driver one who would bring her around the country when she was working on a case. But why was he picking them up? Momo had certainly gone all out! But for what, Uraraka wasn't sure. "Do you know what all of this is about?" Maybe Momo was planning something for her friends, but she didn't realize Bakugou even knew Momo.
"A date."
"What?" Uraraka swirled in her seat to stare at him. "A date? For who?" She could only think about Momo's crush on Todoroki. Had she finally asked him out? Wait…that wouldn't make sense, why would she have gotten Uraraka and Bakugou to come?
Bakugou turned his red eyes on her like he couldn't be more disappointed. "Don't be an idiot. It's our date, obviously." He shook his head in annoyance while Uraraka's jaw dropped open. "Humans. That should have been obvious."
"O-Our date!" Uraraka squealed. "Bakugou, you didn't ask me on a date!"
Bakugou tilted his head to the side in confusion. "So what?"
"So!" Where exactly was he from again? Narnia? Wonderland? Some other fictional place that didn't have human cultural standards? "You have to ask me to go on the date before the actual date Bakugou!"
That time he turned to give her his unbridled attention. "EH? Hair-for-brains or that pony-tailed girl didn't say anything about that! Why would I waste my time doing that? You want to be here, right?" Uraraka spluttered indignantly. So cocky! Honestly, didn't he understand people at all? You can't just take someone on a date without them knowing it's a date!
"I-I don't know! I never got the chance to think about it!"
"What's there to think about?" Bakugou snarled.
"I-I…" Uraraka had absolutely no idea how she was supposed to be responding to this situation. "H-how come Momo called me though? And why are we in her car?"
With an annoyed huff he crossed his arms and leaned further back in his seat. "I went to her to ask what you'd want to do. The human was so fixed on talking about relationships so I decided to use that." With that nice way to refer to her friends… "She said she'd set up the whole thing as long as I promised to make sure you had a 'lovely time' or whatever. I don't know what the heck that's supposed to mean. How could time with me be anything but awesome…?" Bakugou went onto rant while Uraraka tried not to sigh. So that was what happened. Momo was a romantic and she always was willing to help out in her friend's love-lives. While Uraraka was thankful to Yaoyorozu for setting up a nice event, she was inwardly cringing knowing that after she'd have to give Momo the full story…Including the part where Bakugou hadn't thought it necessary to ask Uraraka first.
Finally the car came to a halt. Uraraka and Bakugou both turned to the doorway as the driver opened the door for them. "We have arrived. The table has already been reserved for you. Do send for me when you are done your meal." Another person coming to serve her in such a fancy way was so strange Uraraka could barely nod in response. Momo really was a rich girl!
Bakugou on the other hand just walked out as if that was the exact treatment he expected. Uraraka rushed to follow him and found herself gaping in shock at the sight around them. It was one of the fancier restaurants, a place Uraraka had only been to twice in her lifetime. Once at Momo's birthday when she treated all of her friends and another time when her father had gotten a big bonus and wanted to treat her and her mother. Uraraka's mouth always watered at the memory. Even if the 'date' went wrong, Uraraka would have to thank Momo for getting them such a nice place to spend the evening.
With a great smile on her face Uraraka wrapped an arm around Bakugou's automatically. "Oh wow! Bakugou, you have to try the steak, it's really good. You'll love it!" Bakugou stopped his mumbling about annoying rolling metal boxes made by humans to just nod carelessly. They were supposed to be on a date, couldn't Bakugou act like it? Well, if he hadn't even known that he was supposed to ask her, maybe he didn't know how to act on a date. But Uraraka wouldn't let that bother her! Whether it was a date or not, she was determined to enjoy the evening!
As the two of them walked inside, Uraraka whispered in Bakugou's ear. "I would have said yes."
"Huh?"
"If you'd actually asked me on a date, I would have said yes."
There was a pause as Uraraka let that sink in. For a few moments Bakugou looked so stunned that she would want to go on a romantic outing with him that she was worried he would remain frozen like that. Then, just as quickly as the shock has appeared, he returned back to his normal state. "Of course you would have," Bakugou huffed. Uraraka giggled to herself and pulled in closer. She didn't have to see his face to know he was trying to hide his embarrassment.
When they were seated at their table, they both ordered quickly. Uraraka couldn't wait for the food and Bakugou said he was starving. As they waited for the food, Uraraka decided to try and make some conversation. It was supposed to be a date, wasn't it? "So…how is everything going at work?"
"Huh?" Bakugou looked up at her from the swords on the wall he had been staring intently at. "Feh, those weak humans are pitiful. I barely got to look at them and they're crying."
…Cause THAT'S not terrifying! Uraraka shivered. Isn't he supposed to be a guard or something? "That's…nice." Not sure where to go from that, Uraraka tried something else. "How is your ship going?"
Bakugou's nose scrunched up in annoyance. "I showed you my ship yesterday. Why are you asking about stuff you already know about?"
"I don't know," Uraraka sighed in defeat. "We're supposed to talk on a date."
"Why?"
"To get to know each other," she answered automatically. Bakugou paused to ponder that.
"The red-headed moron said something about that to…" Bakugou mused. Slowly he leaned closer into the table, eyeing her suspiciously. "Is there anything about you that I don't know?"
Uraraka shrugged. "Probably. I don't tell you everything."
"EH?" they both jumped in their chairs, equally startled. "Why the f #k not?"
"There are some things that you don't tell your friends!" Uraraka insisted when she recovered her nerves. "Have you told me everything?" Bakugou begins to feel guilt, remembering the time ago when Uraraka had backed him up against Tokoyami. He kind of wished she hadn't. He hadn't asked her to. He hadn't asked her to trust him so much, it wasn't his fault. But she did. She trusted him. He would keep her safe. Heck, she was smiling again! So…why did he still feel so awful inside? Stupid human really did poison him!
If these human relationships meant telling the other everything, did that mean he had to tell her that he wasn't from earth? He had been around his human for months now and he knew for certain she was not ready to hear about alien life…heck, who cared about the rest of the aliens in the world? What would she do about Bakugou? Would she get angry? Would she still accept him? Since…since when did he care? He was lord explosion murder! If she rejected him after finding out, that was her problem!
His oblivious human took a silent sip of her drink while thinking. "I'm really surprised though. Why would you want to go on a date with me?"
Bakugou answered absentmindedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, why?" Uraraka threw her hands up in the air. "Up until now I was under the impression that you thought of me as a friend, nothing more. Well, other than-" A flash memory of the near kiss ran through her mind. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red as she tried the wave the memory away. "I-I mean, y-y-you know!"
"Why are you stuttering?" Bakugou asked, one eyebrow raised.
"N-no reason!" Uraraka cleared her throat…and took a long sip of her drink. "You don't seem like the kind of guy who is interested in dating." Ochaco silently thanked the world when the waiter returned with their food. It gave her some time to hopefully recover and think of a different topic of conversation before Bakugou decided to dwell on what she said. As she was focused on her meal though, Bakugou was uncharacteristically silent.
After not even taking a bite out of his food, Bakugou spoke up. "I am not interested in dating." With another pause he added, "I'm only interested in dating you."
Uraraka wished she hadn't taken a bite out of her food when she choked. "Wh-what?"
"Dating is stupid," Bakugou told her plainly. "It's the complicated human custom that I don't care about and is way too difficult to understand. 'Dating' is useless, annoying and I couldn't care less about it. Especially since I don't want to learn anymore about courting customs than I have to. I've got much better things to do with my time." Uraraka wasn't sure if he was indirectly insulting her or if she should agree with him. The process of dating was absolutely AWEFUL.
"Okay, so…why did you ask me out?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Isn't that f##$(%g obvious?" When Uraraka didn't respond, Bakugou scowled again. "Because I want you to be mine." Uraraka froze. Bakugou grabbed his fork and starting poking at his food, talking offhanded like he already expected her to understand. "Human customs are stupid, but you aren't. I want you to look at me all the time the way that short-haired chick does the hair-for-brains. I want your smiles to be not just for me but made by me." Finally Bakugou looked up so his blood red eyes met her honey brown ones. "I take what I want. And if I have to do stupid stuff to get you, then I'll do it." Both of them stared at each other. Uraraka stared into his dark, red eyes, searching for any sign of a lie or deception. But Bakugou had none of it. For the first time, truly the first time, Bakugou showed complete genuine honesty in his gaze.
"So let's get this stupid date over with. Eat the food, it had better be good." Without another word Bakugou dove into the food. From the way he devoured it, he had to at least approve of the taste. Uraraka didn't move for a moment, stunned into silent at the utter honest behind his words. And what they truly meant for her. Her chubby cheeks were a light shade of pink as she absorbed his words.
Then, slowly, a smile graced her lips. "…Okay," she said. "And just so you know, I kinda like you to. Maybe for the next date you can actually ask me before we go."
That made Bakugou freeze. Another date. Did that mean he won? She chose him knowing…no. No, wait. She didn't know everything. As long as she didn't know everything…she was not really choosing him.
Tell her. He should tell her. What did he care if she said no? What did he care if she didn't like it? He could just kill her. Like he gave a S #T about what some stupid, weak, insignificant human-
"Bakugou?" Uraraka leaned forward on the table when she noticed Bakugou had frozen. "Are you okay?"
"…Yeah."
…
"I'm heading out Bakugou!"
Said alien grunted in response. "Fine. Hurry back."
Uraraka giggled to herself. The morning after their date Uraraka was in too much of a rush for there to be awkwardness. Bakugou watched her as she ran around, gathering her equipment for her job. All he knew about her job was that it involved fighting fire, getting people out of destruction areas and knowing how to fight…Was she fighting fire creatures then cleaning up after their messes?
Before she left, Uraraka rushed over to Bakugou at the table. "I'll see you later!" Bakugou was shocked when she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Without waiting for his response she pulled away and laughed as she ran. "Try not to burn down the house while I'm gone!"
"Oi, what's that supposed to mean round-" but he heard the door click shut before he could finish. With a scowl and a few choice curses under his breath he went back to the meal he was cooking for that night. As he did, he thought about his human's strange action that morning.
It wasn't the first time she had hugged him, but it was the first time it felt so…casual. Normal. As if she was making it a regular day tradition. He hadn't broken his human again, had he? Was it a part of the human courtship? He supposed…It wasn't too bad. He could get used to it if she really needed it. His hands ghosted around the area that her small arms had tried to trap his chest. She had been in quite a good mood that morning. And the night after their date. That was a good sign, right?
But it would be ruined. Did he care if she was a little scared? When he admitted to being lord explosion murder? It wasn't like her world would have any information on him. Maybe she would be a little freaked out, but so what? Bakugou could just take her and wait for her to calm down. Heck, after a while maybe he could use his human to try and take over worlds with him. If she needed the weird house, he'd find a way to keep it. It couldn't be that-
There was a banging on the door. Bakugou looked up at the sound in confusion. Had Uraraka returned so quickly? Had she forgotten those metal pieces that opened the doors? She'd done that once before. The banging continued as Bakugou trudged his way to the front door. "Shut up Uraraka, I'm f #*$&^g coming." While stomping the banging continued, and Bakugou's rage boiled with every beat. Finally he got to the doors and threw it open with a snarl. "COULD YOU KEEP IT THE F #K DOWN YOU-" His voice cut off.
Alien General Endeavor stood at Uraraka's front door with 15 alien soldiers, all guns pointed on Bakugou. "Prisoner Lord Explosion Murder," Endeavor recited with a cocky smile. "You have the right to remain silent."