"Hey." He shook her gently, a bit surprised she had nodded off so quickly. "Sweetie … Phyllis?"
"Ummm…" She let her eyes open slowly, realizing suddenly where she was. "Billy? What's …" Her eyes opened wider as she saw the man standing at the end of the bed. "Oh …"
"You feel asleep," he whispered, as he helped her sit up slowly and let his arm wrap around her shoulder. "The doctor's here. He wants to talk to us."
She smiled, the fog finally lifting from her mind. "About the baby?" she whispered. Her eyes moved from Billy to the doctor. "Is everything okay with the baby?"
There was a brief silence in the room and she could feel the strange energy coursing through the air. "Billy?" She looked over towards him, needing answers now more than ever. "What's going on?"
"I don't know." It was an honest answer. He didn't know exactly what was going, but he knew, if only by the look on the doctor's face that he hadn't come in to share the routine news of a pregnancy. This was far more serious than that. "But that's what the doctor's here to tell us. He's gonna tell us what's going on." He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it lightly. "And it's gonna be fine … whatever it is, it's gonna be fine."
Phyllis swallowed hard, trying desperately not to cry. Her eyes now fell on the man at the end of the bed, a nameless doctor that she now knew held all the answers to her questions. "Is something wrong with the baby?"
"Miss Summers," he began.
"Phyllis," she interrupted. "You can call me Phyllis."
He nodded. "Phyllis … I'm afraid I need to speak with you alone." His eyes moved towards Billy, "If you don't mind …"
Her hand clenched tighter around his. "No," she said quickly. "He's my boyfriend. Billy can stay. Anything you have to say you can say in front of him. Please. It's fine."
"Alright." He made a quick note on the chart. "First of all, I see that we did run a pregnancy test and it came back negative."
The air left her body in a quick huff. "Negative? But …" She turned towards Billy, her eyes flashing an apologetic stare. "I was so sure you were …" Even though he'd never admit it, she could see a small flicker of disappointment in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know you were …"
"No … No… Don't you do that. I just want to know that you're okay. That's all." He looked towards the doctor whose face still looked disturbingly sober. "Is she alright?"
"I don't like the fact that you paused when you were asked that question." She forced herself to joke now, too bothered by the overwhelming sense of dread that now filled the small room. "What am I dying or something?"
"I don't mean to alarm either of you and there are still a few more tests we need to run before I can give you any real specifics, but I want to discuss the results of some of the other tests we ran, specifically your EKG."
"EKG?" Billy swallowed hard, his heart racing at the mention of the word. "That's the heart, right? You think something's wrong with her heart?"
"I need to do some more extensive testing to get a more definitive diagnosis, but judging by everything I've seen so far an atrial septal defect is a very likely scenario."
"That's a really scary sounding name, but it's simple, right?" She tried to stop the shake in her voice, needing to hear the words out loud and hoping the doctor would alleviate her now very real fears.
She watched in silence as the doctor stepped closer to the bed and pulled a chair over to sit down. Her chest trembled a bit with the beginnings of a shaky breath and she felt Billy's arm tighten around her.
He'd been holding his breath the entire time, hoping against hope that his fears were completely irrational, that all of his worries about something being wrong with Phyllis had been the result of his horrible past and history of everything going to hell. He couldn't handle losing her, not now, not when everything in their life was finally going well.
"As I said, there are several more tests that need to be completed in order to get a handle on your specific situation, but based on what we know so far, you have evidence of pulmonary hypertension which is a precursor for much more serious complications with this condition. Atrial defects are very common in young children, but they can be far more serious in adults as they carry greater complications and can be harder to manage."
"What kind of complications?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he couldn't live with not knowing. The fear in Phyllis' eyes nearly broke him. She was too alive, too vivid, too strong to look so feeble and broken. He would give anything to take her in his arms and take her away from her, to forget that any of this ever happened, but he couldn't.
"Without treatment?" The doctor paused. "Heart failure, Irregular heart beats, Increased risk of stroke, marked shortness in life span …" He took a breath as he saw the concerned look on the man's face. "I'm afraid the list goes on. That's why it's so important to get treatment as soon as possible."
"So what are the treatments?" Her voice still quivered a bit, but she felt somehow more empowered knowing there was something that could be done. "Is there medicine I can take?"
"In some situations medications are indicated, yes … In your situation, given your symptoms and your current levels, I think you may be past that point. I still want to do a few more tests to be sure of the severity of things, but in my professional opinion, you are a far better candidate for surgery."
"Surgery? You want to do surgery on her heart? You really think that's necessary?" This wasn't some little thing. People didn't just drop into the hospital for little surgeries on their hearts. He'd seen too many people come into the hospital and not come out again. Delia, Colleen, Juliette …
"It's up to you of course. It something the two of you would have to discuss and decide on, but if we don't take action, I can tell you the statistics aren't good. People with this type of condition that are already experiencing symptoms are considerably less likely to live past fifty years old."
Billy felt her quick gasp and he pulled her closer towards him, running his hand down her arm. "Okay," he whispered. "It's okay."
"I'm going to give the two of you a minute." The doctor stood. "I'm going to get those additional tests scheduled as soon as possible and I'd like to keep you here until we can get them lined up and ordered. I'll do everything I can to get them all lined up for tomorrow so we can get you out of here by tomorrow afternoon, alright?" He smiled warmly at the two of them as they both weakly nodded their heads. "We'll talk more about the options after we have all the information."
The strained silence settled over the room again as they both heard the sound of the door closing. He wasn't sure what to say as he looked down at her.
Her shaky voice was what finally broke through. "I was so damn stubborn," she managed.
"What?" He pushed the hair away from her face as his eyes searched hers. "What are you talking about?"
"You heard him, Billy. He said that this is worse the longer you wait for treatment. What if I'd come in as soon as I started feeling off, what if I hadn't waited until now … until you forced me? What if I'd listened to Jack when he tried to tell me that something was wrong? If I hadn't been so damn …"
"Stop." He wrapped his arms around her, not able to comprehend the fact that she was blaming herself for this. "I don't want to hear you talking like that right now. You didn't do this. You didn't cause this. You had no reason to think that anything like this was going on. I didn't either and when Jack talked to me about this, I told him the same thing. I said you were fine. I said you were just working too hard. If anyone is to blame here, it's me. I should have noticed something earlier. I should have insisted that you come get checked out."
"No. It's not your fault. It's not. I wouldn't have listened. Even if you'd tried to tell me, I would have said that it was nothing. I wouldn't have agreed that anything was wrong. You know me. You know how hardheaded I am. I wouldn't have let you tell me any different."
He smiled at her as he pressed his lips to hers, letting them linger there for a moment before pulling back and staring into her eyes. "Okay then. We're gonna use that. You're gonna be that stubborn, hard headed woman every step of the way. No matter what happens, you are going to be fine. We are going to be fine. And you're not going to let anyone tell you any different."