A/N: This chapter has some discussions of adult themes like abortion. Know that I am not trying to make a political statement or express my opinions. I'm merely telling you all a story.
One month later:
"I'm not going." Regina was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her head in her hands. "I can't."
Robin knew she couldn't. She'd been sick all day. Horribly sick. Right now, her coloring was a greenish-white and there were dark rings under her eyes. She hadn't kept anything down-including every fluid Robin tried to get into her.
They had been supposed to have dinner with Snow, David, Emma and Henry. But when Regina had woken up sick, their day had shifted focus.
"I'll call Snow and tell her." Robin knelt down in front of her, stroking her cheek. "You try and lie down."
Regina gave him half a nod. He kissed her quickly before getting up. Downstairs, he fumbled through the keypad and dialed Snow.
"But Regina's ok?" She asked sympathetically. "I mean, it's nothing serious?"
"She doesn't seem to think so," Robin glanced back up the stairs. "I'm sure it will pass."
There was a beat of silence on the other end before Snow agreed with him that it was probably nothing serious, and then asked to reschedule. Robin told her he'd call her in the morning…when Regina was feeling better.
Upstairs, Regina was resting her head on the counter. Robin shook his head.
"Please don't tell me…" Regina nodded. "What can I do?" He turned her to take her hands. "Talk to me."
"Honestly," Regina looked up at him, "I can't even talk right now. I just don't feel up to it. I'm so weak."
She didn't look well. She was so flushed, and she seemed to be swaying on her feet. Robin was trying to ignore how worried he was.
"Ok, come on." He reached over and picked her up. Regina groaned, pressing a hand to her mouth.
"Easy. Not so quick."
"Sorry," Robin kissed her forehead. "Let's get you into bed."
He tucked her into bed before crawling in beside her.
"Maybe it's food poisoning." Regina pressed her face against his shoulder. "That can be nasty."
"Well, let's hope that's all it is." Robin nuzzled his face into her hair. "Get some sleep."
***Scene***
It had been a long month. Regina had finally been showing some signs of improvement before this ailment crept in.
In a month, no one had found Sidney. That wasn't without effort. Robin, Emma and half of the town had searched every inch of the town to find him. They'd come up empty handed. The only theories were that he'd crossed the town line (which Robin felt entirely possible) or that he was hidden somewhere magically. That also felt possible in this town.
Robin slept for a bit before getting up to clean and lock up a bit. Regina mercifully slept. It didn't last long.
He woke from sleep at 2AM with Regina retching in the bathroom. By 4AM, he knew something was seriously wrong. Regina could not keep any fluids down-including water. Still, her body tried desperately to throw up. She was crying from pain of her body trying to rid itself of something that it didn't contain. Robin knew there was nothing he could do to help her.
They were in the emergency room by 5.
Whale connected IVs without saying much. Robin could almost hear him thinking.
"What's going on?" Robin stroked Regina's hair as she lay limply on the bed. Whale ignored him, looking down at Regina. She looked uncharacteristic of the mayor/queen they all knew in the gray hoodie, black yoga pants and blue elastic band holding her hair back from her face.
"Regina, I'm going to take some blood." Whale ignored Robin's question. "That should tell us more."
He drew up her sleeve without argument. He tied off the vein. Robin watched with fascination as he inserted the needle. It made him slightly sicker to see the blood being so strategically pulled from her arm.
Robin's fingers moved to caress the tresses of hair along her shoulders. She wasn't even reaching out for him. Her arms lay across her abdomen, unmoving. Her dark eyes were only half focused on the doctor's actions beside her.
Whale finished his task. After he finished covering the puncture mark with gauze, he tugged Regina's sleeve back down.
"I'll be back shortly." He held up the vials. "This won't take long. One of those IVs contains anti-nausea medication. She should feel better once she gets some of that and the fluids into her."
When he left, Robin ducked his head to Regina's temple.
"Are you still with me?" He whispered softly. She nodded.
"Tired." Regina's eyes flickered up at him.
"I know." Robin gathered her hand to his lips. "They'll find out what's wrong with you, and get you on some medicines…and then we'll go back home."
"Mmmhmmm," Regina mumbled. Her head fell against her shoulder as she seemed to drift off. Or pass out, Robin wasn't sure. He simply didn't let go of her hand.
Whale had not been wrong: Regina began to perk up after the medicines began to flow in her system. She still looked bad, but she at least had a bit more energy.
Whale returned to the room looking serious. That bothered Robin. He sat up, leaning forward on his knees.
"What is it?" Whale glanced at him, and then to Regina. He took a deep breath, let it out.
"Regina, you're pregnant." Regina gasped. Robin was shocked. That was the last thing he had expected the doctor to say. He should be excited, correct? Then why wasn't he?
It had to be because of the look on Whale's face.
"I-." Regina sat up slowly. "Really?" Whale held up one hand.
"We need to talk about a few things. I'm going to assume that you two have…." He raised an eyebrow.
Robin watched the look of horror that settled over Regina's face. He felt it on his too. And now he knew why. Whale was implying that the baby might be….
"Yes." Regina breathed softly. And now her fingers were tightening on his hand. She wouldn't look at him. That hurt. Robin squeezed her hand tighter.
"Before….?" Whale was trying to be gentle on the topic. "Or after?"
"Both." Regina looked down at her hands. Now it was Whale who breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ok, that's good. That raises the chances that Robin is the father."
Regina finally turned her head and looked at him. Robin reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Regina's arms found their way around his neck and she bit back a sob.
"What can we do?" Robin asked, not letting go of her. "There must be some way…."
"I'll look," Whale assured them. "And we can do an ultrasound to see how big the fetus is. That will give us an idea."
"How did this happen?!" Regina exclaimed. "How on earth did this happen? Why didn't you test me before? Why didn't you do…something?!"
"If we'd tested you when you came in, it would have been too early." Whale lowered his eyes. "And if by 'something' you're suggesting the medication…we…don't keep it here."
"WHAT?!" Regina sat up so fast Robin grabbed her back. "Why the hell not?!"
"Because there are some in this town that feel it's just a rule of this world…and one that would never hold up in ours." Whale made an attempt to explain. "So we've just never done it because it was deemed…unnecessary."
Regina was shaking in his arms. Robin rubbed her back, trying to soothe her down. But he suspected it was no use. And those suspicions were proven true when Regina pulled back to face him.
"I can't do this." She whispered, looking between the two men. "I can't have Sidney's baby."
"Darling," Robin took hold of her upper arms, "this may not be Sidney's baby."
"And chances are if you two were regularly having sex without protection it increases these odds." Whale sat down on the bed beside her in a surprisingly comforting gesture. "Regina, odds are this baby is Robin's. But we can't rule out the…."
"I know the possibility!" Regina exclaimed, yanking herself from Robin to come face to face with Whale. "I know the damn possibilities! They're all I can think of right now!"
She broke down crying, burying her face into her hands. Robin looked up at Whale. He had never in his life felt so helpless. This could very well be his child. He should have been excited.
But none of them could hide the reality that Sidney's spawn was thriving in Regina like some sort of morbid souvenir.
"This world can do so much," Robin stared at Whale, "there must be some way of knowing."
"We'll do everything we can." Whale assured him. "Regina, can I get your permission to do an ultra sound?"
"What….?" Robin shook his head. Whale shrugged.
"It's basically like taking a live video of the baby. We can see how big it is. That will give us an idea of how far along she is. I can tell you that morning sickness usually starts at about 4-6 weeks. So my guess is that you're at least that long."
That finally got a reaction from Regina. She glanced at Whale, and then turned back to Robin.
"So it's true. You and I, we might have…." Robin pressed one large hand to her head. He pulled her him, pressing his lips firmly against her temple.
"Yes, we could have. This could be our child." He ducked his forehead, nuzzling against hers. Regina nodded, one hand lifting to squeeze his.
"Hope for six weeks," she almost laughed against him.
Whale disappeared from the room. He returned a short while later with a machine on a cart that Robin didn't even bother to ask.
He carefully folded up the hem of Regina's shirt before grabbing a bottle from the tray.
"This will be cold for a moment," he applied the gel onto the smooth skin of her abdomen. Robin was content as long as Regina wasn't reacting.
Whale took a moment switching the machine on. Then he began to carefully move the hand receptor over her stomach. Robin watched the screen, fascinated. He'd never seen anything like this. And he was amazed at what he was seeing.
"Is that….?" His voice trailed off. If he called it a baby, would Regina react?
"Yes." Whale held the receptor still. "It's not a good picture. Actually, it's very hard to see. But that, right there," he pointed to the screen, "is the fetus."
Robin gripped Regina's hand tighter, not missing the fact that she was quiet. He heard her sigh heavily.
"What can you tell?" She finally asked.
"Honestly," Whale began, "not much. The image is very hard to make out. And it's…small. Very small. So my best estimate is closer to 4…maybe 5 weeks…at the most."
Regina made a choking sound that might have been a sob.
"So then?" She whispered. Whale sighed and moved the receptor again. He reached over and pressed a button the screen. Some sound came from the monitor, but nothing distinctive.
"I'm not picking up a heartbeat. So that tells me we're under 6 weeks. The heart starts to beat at 6 weeks, so we should be able to hear something then. But judging that we can't and by the size, then we have to be under 6 weeks."
Regina began to cry-again. Robin kissed her forehead. Whale was still frowning at the image on the screen.
"You two have to tell me: did you have any type of intercourse close to Sidney?"
"How close?" Regina asked softly.
"Close," Whale didn't take his eyes off the screen. "Days? Hours?"
"There were those times in the vault…before the spell," Regina looked up at Robin. They both ignored the look on Whale's face.
"And that one morning…after." Robin finally looked hopefully at Whale. Whale shook his head, frowning.
"You're not making this a bit easier." He sighed, reaching over to turn off the machine. "I'm sorry, but if that's the case, there's no way to make a clear distinction." He wiped the gel from Regina's skin with a paper towel and got up. She pulled her shirt back into place, looking intensely miserable as she did.
"What do we do?" She looked at Whale. He turned back to her, shrugged.
"I wish I had better news." He apologized. "I really do. But we can't tell, not yet anyway. Maybe once it gets a bit bigger, then we can get a better idea. Unfortunately the truth appears to be that either one of them could be the father."
Regina lowered her head, pressing her hand to her face. Whale sat back down on the bed beside her.
"Regina, I need you to listen to me. You've had sex with Robin more than with Sidney. Chances are still far higher this is his baby. So what I need you to do is treat it like it is. Take care of yourself, make sure you're healthy."
Regina looked up at him, shaking her head.
"How do you just expect me to just pretend everything is ok?"
"I never said that." Whale cautioned her. "I never once said that. I understand your fear, and your hesitation. But you are pregnant. And you have to take care of yourself."
Robin rubbed her back gently as Regina stared at her lap. He was so incredibly torn. If it was his baby, was he missing out on an opportunity to be thrilled? Should he try? If he pushed the topic, would Regina freak out on him?
"There has to be something you can do-medically." She looked at him. "A test. Something."
"There is one," Whale nodded, "it involves a very long needle. I personally don't know how to do it and have never done it before. So you'd have to risk Boston. And you'd have to do it without explaining to them about Sidney."
That made her fall silent. Regina knew they could do none of those things. She could not bring outsiders into Storybrooke, and she could not risk the exposure. Plus answering medical questions in Boston would be far harder.
"Can I go home?" Regina finally asked. That was a much easier topic to handle. Whale sighed.
"I'd prefer to keep you. You could use a few more hours of monitored fluids. And we don't know how you'll react when we take you off the anti-nausea medicine. And you haven't eaten anything-."
"I want to go home." Regina emphasized. "I'll be fine."
"And I'll bring her back with any setbacks," Robin promised. He thought Regina might do better at home. They had a lot to take in, and sitting uncomfortably and exhausted in the hospital wasn't helping.
Whale still didn't look pleased.
"So I'll disconnect the IVs, and let you sit for a little while. If you're still feeling ok in about an hour, you can go. I'm sending you home with some anti-nausea medication in case this comes back. There is one more thing I want to warn you about."
"Just when everything was going so fucking well," Regina grumbled. Whale ignored her.
"The type of morning sickness you had is not common. And while it might just mean that some women are more sensitive to pregnancy, it is extremely common in women who are carrying twins."
Regina's head shot up.
"Twins?! Twins?! You cannot be serious! I can't have one of Sidney's babies-let alone two!"
"Ok, calm down." Robin put his arms around her. His own head had been swimming, but now he felt as though it had exploded. "We don't know for sure."
"I couldn't tell from the ultrasound." Whale tried to reassure her. "So it may only be one."
"No, you couldn't tell anything from the ultrasound," Regina snapped. "This is not ok-not even a little. I cannot-I will not-let this happen!"
Whale had never once looked pleased during this discussion. But now he looked up at one of the monitors beside Regina's bed, and the look of displeasure increased.
He got up. From the wall, he took down a blood pressure cuff.
"Work your sleeve up for me a bit." She did as he asked and Whale fastened the cuff around her upper arm. He frowned at the gage. "Ok, your blood pressure is already too high. And it's this early on. Now granted, that could be a part of your illness from last night, but we cannot run a risk this is going to be an ongoing problem."
He set to taking off the cuff, righting her sleeve.
"Listen to me," Whale moved to face her, "like it or not, you are pregnant. And you have to take care of yourself. If this child is Robin's, I would hate to see you lose it and find out the truth after."
Robin rubbed Regina's arm. It was his fear too. He didn't want to risk losing his child-if it was his child. And the idea of Regina being ill or-hurt-sickened him.
"Regina, we have to go on the assumption that this child is Robin's. You have to treat both of you like it is." Regina closed her eyes, burying her face into Robin's chest. His arms tightened around her. There was nothing he could say.
"Can I go home?" Regina mumbled into Robin's chest. Whale sighed heavily.
"I'd-."
"Please," Robin asked. "Just let us go-for now." Whale took a deep breath. Robin watched him suck it in before he let it out slowly.
"Ok, fine. But give me one hour to make sure the nausea doesn't start again."
"Fine." Robin consented.
Whale disconnected IVs as quickly as he'd put them in. He made Regina sip on a bottle of water, and then left them alone. Gently, Robin rubbed Regina's arm.
"Regina, we should-."
"At home." She told her water bottle. "We'll discuss it there."
***Scene****
Robin and Regina entered the silent house. For a moment, they just looked at each other.
"How about some tea?" Regina barely nodded, but she followed him into the kitchen when he went.
Regina sat at the table while Robin fixed mugs of tea. He placed one on the table in front of her. Regina waited while he sat down at the chair beside her.
"We need to talk," Regina wrapped her hands around her mug.
"Ok," Robin looked into his mug, "let's talk."
Regina sipped her tea quietly for a moment before she finally spoke again.
"We have to be realistic. And being realistic means facing the fact that this baby might not be ours."
Robin weighed his answer choices. He did not want to upset her again. But he also didn't want to hear this either.
"Either way," he spoke carefully, "this is your baby. And I love it."
Regina's silence spoke volumes. She sipped her tea again. When she spoke, her voice was solemn.
"But I don't. And I can't." Regina looked down at her tea. "Robin, I am not going to love this baby if it isn't ours. I can't."
She stopped. Robin waited. Whatever she was saying was clearly not going to be good.
"Robin…" Regina paused. "There's a procedure that I'd like to consider. It…ends…the pregnancy."
Robin was silent as he considered that. He didn't know anything about such things-had never even thought about them. Was she saying…?
"You mean…killing the baby."
Regina nodded without looking at him.
"Robin, I….I never thought I'd hear myself say this." She finally looked at him, and there were tears spilling over her eyes. "But I can't do this. I can't carry this baby. I can't give birth to it without knowing."
"Then we'll figure something out." Robin reached for her hands and grabbed them to his chest. "We will find something…medical…a magic…anything. Just something that will confirm if this is our baby."
"But if there's nothing we can do….." Regina choked on a sob. She tugged her hands from his to drink from her mug. She was trying to keep it together because in this moment, she did not want comfort. Her heart was already aching for what she was thinking of doing. If Robin comforted her, she would back down. And right now, she did not want to back down to anything.
Robin reached over and rubbed her fingers. She didn't look up.
"This isn't solely your decision." He breathed gently. "This might be my child…and I can't risk that it might be ours. Either way, I can't advocate killing a child. Any child."
Regina let her head fall to rest on the table. She kept the sobs that finally boiled in her as quiet as possible. But there was no being upset when Robin was around, at least not for her.
"You're in no condition right now to make a decision." He soothed as he reached out to stroke her hair. One arm moved to her, slipping around her back. "You need to think about what you're saying."
"But if it's his I don't want this to go on!" Regina raised her head. Tears coated her face so heavily it might as well have been raining. "Robin, I can't go on for another eight months not knowing who its father is."
"Ok, ok, enough." Robin reached for her. He folded her tightly into his arms, clinging tightly. "Regina, just stop for now. Stop. We can't do anything until you're calmer. We can't even work out a plan if you're this upset. So just calm down, and we'll talk more about this when you're feeling better."
Regina leaned in for him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Robin did not try to tell her to stop crying. Right now, it was the best release he could think of for her.
***Scene***
Hand in hand, Robin and Regina made their way to the Charmings' door. They were making up their dinner reservation from earlier in the week. Neither of them was looking forward to it. They'd both decided they could not deny Regina's pregnancy. Even with the medicines, Regina struggled to keep solid foods down. She knew she could not show up at the dinner and eat only chicken broth.
As soon as they let themselves in, Emma frowned from across the room. Henry was still out, and despite the fact that Roland was invited, they hadn't brought him. One unborn child was all they had the effort for right now.
"Regina, are you ok?"
Regina looked at Robin. There was no real point in trying to argue that she was, so if the secret came out now, it came out now.
"Maybe." Regina leaned against the kitchen counter. She glanced up, taking in the looks of the three in the room. Taking a deep breath, she finally responded: "I'm pregnant."
Snow gasped, and by the look on her face it was excitement.
"Oh Regina! That's wonderful!"
"Nooo, I don't think it is." Emma was watching her closely. Regina met her eyes. She didn't have to nod. A gasp from Snow told them she had figured it out too.
"Sidney," she whispered. Regina finally turned to face her, nodding.
"Yes."
"We don't know for sure." Robin's hand lay on her back. "There's always the possibility….."
"Well of course there is!" Snow exclaimed. From the way she suddenly animated, Regina knew what was coming.
"Look if you're about to start throwing around the word 'hope' you might as well save your breath."
"But Regina-."
"I mean it." Regina's tone rose. "Robin and I don't quite know….we don't exactly know…what we're going to…do."
There was silence in the room. Emma glanced at her parents. The look on Snow's face was pure and utter horror.
"Regina, you can't be thinking about-."
"Don't tell me what I can or can't be thinking about," Regina snapped harshly. "You have no idea what I'm feeling. You have never had any idea of what I've been through. And that certainly plays true now!"
"But Regina," Snow whispered, her voice practically pleading, "this is your baby."
"I don't even understand how this happened!" Emma exclaimed. "Why didn't they give you the Morning After Pill or something?"
"We asked that same question." Regina leaned back into Robin's embrace. "And what it boils down to is that you can't uphold the rules of this world to a land run by fairytale characters."
They were silent for a moment. Robin hugged Regina tighter against him. Then he finally spoke.
"If we had done that, we'd be in the same position we are now." Robin solemnly stared at the floor. Regina nodded, barely conscious of the others in the room. She didn't say anything, but Robin felt as though he'd hit a nerve.
"So a test, a paternity test." Emma was keeping up with her rational. Regina rolled her eyes. What a surprise, the Savior had an answer for everything.
"Whale can't do it," Regina stood up. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hug away the cold that was suddenly overtaking her. "Not that I think I want him trying to stab a needle into me and not hurt the baby."
Emma glanced at Robin. From behind Regina, he nodded faintly. Every now and then, Regina slipped. She would make a statement that indicated she was more concerned about this unborn child than she would admit.
"Ok," Emma let it go. "Regardless, right now, you need to eat. So let's have dinner."
Robin shot Emma another look. He was glad she'd dropped it. He had a nagging hope for Regina, but it was going to take work.
***Scene***
Regina entered the house. For a moment, she simply stood in the dark entryway. Then she flipped on the lights and stepped fully inside.
Robin followed behind her, shrugging off his coat. Regina idly shrugged hers over her shoulder for Robin to hang up with his. When he turned back around, she was sitting on the stairs.
"What are you thinking?" He asked as he knelt down on the floor before her. "Regina, talk to me." He reached out to stroke her cheek lightly. "You've been quiet all night."
"What else was I supposed to be with everyone staring at me like they were?" Regina didn't lift her eyes from her lap. "It was pity. And I hate pity."
"Regina-."
"It's what it was. It's how the whole town's been looking at me." Regina finally looked up at him. "And now they have another nine months to do it." Robin ignored everything else she'd said because of that last statement.
"What?" Regina took a deep breath, let it out slowly.
"I can't have an abortion." Robin felt a surge of relief through him so powerful it almost knocked him over. He felt tears prick his eyes, but he fought them back. The last thing she needed was him getting overly emotional for her.
"What changed your mind so firmly?" It wasn't that she'd been set on an abortion. But she'd thought so heavily about it, he'd been sure it might have been a valid option.
Regina's dark eyes flickered up at him.
"Because when you said that-about the Morning After Pill-and that we'd have been in the same place as we are now," she paused. Her throat threatened to tighten up on her. "I realized that I would have spent the rest of my life wondering if I was pregnant with your child…and now I know I can't have an abortion…because I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if I'd given up our baby."
Robin smiled. Tears were still teasing his eyes.
"Regina, this is-." He stopped as her hand rose. "What?"
"I still can't raise Sidney's child," she whispered as she held his eyes. "If this baby is his, I can't keep it. I want to put it up for adoption."
"Ok," Robin took her hands, rubbing them in his. "Ok. We can look into that…if that happens."
Regina finally broke down. Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she reached for Robin. He held her tightly, rocking her against him.
What he was not saying was this: he had only agreed to this plan so quickly because he suspected-deep inside-that when Regina saw this child she would not be able to give it up…regardless of the father.