Our Own Tragedies

Lieutenant-commander Walker knew this wasn't going to be easy, but had no idea how quickly it would get to him, the first time. Splashing his face with water from the sink in the bathroom, he stares at his reflection in the mirror, and sees that his eyes are still reddened from the tears. He shakes his head swiftly, getting a grip on things again. Of course its hard, but if the brass wants it done, it needs to be done. He pulls some paper towels out of the dispenser, and wipes the moisture off of his face, looking back in the mirror. "Let's get this over with."

He walks back out to the observation deck. "Okay Admiral." He says.

"Are you ready, son?" The Admiral asks.

"No sir. But this needs to be done."

"As you say. Take a seat, Lieutenant-commander."

Walker sits back down into the chair, as the Admiral calls for the Ensign to re-enter the room. "Let's move on now. You said that you had both enlisted, with you doing so a couple of years after she did, as our records confirm. How did the two of you first reconnect?"

"She was there, two years after I graduated when we were both twenty-two, to let me know that the N7 Program was interested in recruiting me."

"How does it feel, to suddenly receive an invitation like that? Remember that this interview is informal."

"Surreal. I know I had been training in multiple forms of Martial Arts, since long before I enlisted, but I still never could've anticipated that. Although I'm a pretty good sniper, and explosives expert, so that could've had something to do with the decision."

"Surely, she would have separated again from you, once you went to Rio De Janeiro. Did she contact you after graduation?"

"Immediately after, actually. She was in attendance for my ceremony. Five others graduated the same day I did. One is... dead, and the others are all on my team. I just hope that Nick can rejoin us, before long."

"So Shepard approached you, immediately after the fact?"

"Right. Tells me that for the time being, she's been assigned as my CO. I don't know if she pulled those strings, or not, but knowing how persuasive she was, it wouldn't surprise me. We talked in our downtime, went out to restaurants in civilian attire, generally just became close again, for the first time in... five years at that point. Finally five months past, and the both of us are given shore leave. We both want to go back to Earth, but don't want a hotel. So, we decided to co-rent a hotel, in Lynchburg, Tennessee."

"Interesting, considering that your personal files note a fondness for Jack Daniels."

"I heard about that. No shame in it, it doesn't interfere with my duties... sir."

"It's alright LC. Like I said, this is informal."

"Right." He pauses for a second, and looks to the floor. "Last I heard, that apartment complex got knocked down, during the invasion. I wasn't living in it anymore, but still, that's a real shame."

"Surely much more damage could've been done, had it not been for yours, and Commander Shepard's actions, LC. The renting of the apartment... was it what immediately led to your relationship, or did that happen later?"

"Nearly a year later. A month and a half after we rented the apartment, the higher ups deemed it a good decision to reassemble me, and the rest of my friends into a new squad. I thought for sure that Shepard herself would've been added to this, as leader. But instead they decided to send her on an assignment of her own. I was honored that they considered me worthy of a leadership role, especially for an N7 exclusive squad, but at the same time, a bit upset that they were separating us."

"You were getting closer, the more time you spent together."

Walker cracks a half smile. "At first, it was a second reunion with a long lost friend, but as time grew on, we realized, more and more, how close we really had been, all those years. It was something we never noticed when we were kids, but now that we had matured, our relationship was basically an inevitability at that point."

"And was you being there for her, after Akuze the tipping point?"

"Yes, and no. It was tragedies on both of our ends, that was the tipping point."

Admiral Hackett takes a look through his notes, remembering of the loss of a squad member of Griffin's. "Staff Sergeant Shawn Anderson. He died when your squad was sent to a mission on Benning."

"The most naturally gifted, talented, and yet hard working soldier that I have ever personally served with. And I'm including Shepard herself in that conversation. If he had survived, I truly believe he would've been the figurehead the Alliance would be rallying behind, not me. And behind the scenes, he was our brother, our family. Given how long I've known both him, and the rest of my squad, that left me in a bad way. And not knowing at that point in time whether or not Jane had survived Akuze or not... I immediately hit the bottle once I was back in the hotel."

"So you were drunk by the end of that night?"

"Not completely, but I would've been, if Jane hadn't have walked through the door, to stop me."

When I first got back to the apartment, the first thing I saw was the graduation photo of my squad, and myself. We all should have lived to a ripe old age, and now one of us was gone. Not only that, but the best among us.

The only thing I was seeking out when I was going to the apartment was the bottle. My apartment has always been loaded. Beer, whiskey, wine, vodka, mead, bourbon. So much to choose from, and as far as I'm concerned, I need it right now.

The second thing that I saw when I walked into the room, was Jane's graduation portrait. I poured both of the Jack and Cokes I had, all the while staring at her picture, hoping that she survived whatever happened on Akuze, but knowing that with my luck, that I had likely lost both my best friend, and the woman I love, all in one week. Realizing that I would now never get the chance to tell her how I feel, I throw the two liter of Coke to the floor to my right, now sipping straight from the bottle of Jack Daniels, as the alcohol begins to fester more of my anger.

"I've never been so angry, so upset with life, than at that point in time. I've never ripped right through drinks like I did on that night. I had already had two cocktails, not even one hour into when I got back to my apartment, after which point, I was now just drinking whiskey, straight from the bottle." Griffin said, before floating back into memory.

I'm at a point drinking right now, where I simply no longer feel any form of burn, regardless of how many sips I take. And while I know that I'm not dealing with my emotions the right way, I also know that the right way is a blurry line, at best, at times like this. Was there a better way?

Yes there was. I locked the door behind me after slamming it, and the only surviving people who I believed had any keys to my apartment, were all at their own homes, both on Earth, and beyond. But I never expected who it truly was.

The sight of Jane was the only possible thing that could make me place the bottle back down, on to the counter top. My face was shaking, both from the relief of the first piece of good news, in what felt like too long, and the joy of seeing her alive.

"I heard about Shawn." She said, as she approaches the living room.

"I heard about Akuze." I responded, after putting the bottle back with the other bottles of booze. "I thought I lost you too." I say as I choke up. As more of the light shines onto her face, I realize just how traumatized she truly was. She had been crying for some time. She caked on makeup, to try the cover the fact that she looked like hell underneath. But her tears made the makeup a pointless gesture.

"Griffin... just..." She didn't need to say another word. I pulled her in, and she wrapped her arms around my body, as our tears soak each others shirts. Neither one of us could hold back the tears. We were both traumatized, saddened and angered by the loss of comrades, some of which we had known before our respective military careers even began. We both believed we would never see each other again. And the only thing both of us wanted was to be in each others arms...

"That apartment only had one shower, and I knew that my sadness and anger were outweighed by her trauma. So I let her go take one first, even though a number of parts of my body objected. But I'm Soldier-class. I was trained to deal with the pain for up to half a day, and she was only in for forty minutes, in all. When she got out, she said that she was going to bed. I didn't think she meant mine."

I opened up the bathroom door after drying off, as the nice, cool air of the apartment helps to relax my body. For whatever reason, the shower had no in between. It was either going to be a really hot shower, or a really cold one. I better let the landlords know about that, tomorrow morning. I walked down the hall, heading toward my room. I stopped at her door first, which was already closed, and gave a couple knocks, before saying "Goodnight Jane." When she didn't answer, and since there was no light coming out of the bottom of the door, I just assumed that she had gone to fallen asleep before even being laid out on the bed.

I went over to my room, the door wide open, and discovered that my previous observation was incorrect. She wasn't in her room at all, and she was wide awake. Dressed in a pair of pajama pants, and a simple white bra, cleaned entirely of her makeup, which I honestly had always believed she looked better without, she stared at me as I walked in the room, and the pain was still clear, in her eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked, trying to avoid checking out her breathtaking figure.

"I... I don't want to sleep alone tonight." She softly let out.

"Since when has that ever been a problem for you?"

"Since I lost all of the unit that I served with, earlier this week. Now, especially when you're around, I never want to sleep alone again."

"That really struck a cord with me, when she told me that she never wanted to sleep alone again. Later on, she ended up using her fast rising influence with the brass to get herself, my crew and I assigned together, not as Delta Squad, like we are now, because that was already a thing, with different individuals. But she didn't lie. If she thought that a mission would take more than less than a day to complete, she took me with her."

"If I'm not mistaken, she was the leader of the unit at this time, correct?"

"Correct." Walker responds, as he slips back into his memory.

All of this was still registering in my mind, but there was still one issue. I had asked to take her on a date, several times over the past eight years, or so, and she had always turned me down before this. Now she was seemingly coming on to me. "I can't help you with that, Jane."

"What do you mean?" She asks, sounding almost heartbroken.

"You know what I mean. You know me better than to think that I can just sleep in the same bed with you, for one, or even a few nights, when you know as well as I do that I want you."

"Griffin, you and your father are the only two men left in the world that I love. And your father is married."

I have to admit, she got the first laugh out of me, in days. She knew it was genuine, and it was great to finally see her endearing smile. Regardless, that did nothing for my skepticism. "You do have a point. But Jane, the fact of the matter is, you've told me that you love me before, and we both know it was as a friend."

"And how much have things changed since you graduated from N7 training? Since we've moved into this apartment?"

"I asked you out after we moved in, and you said no again."

"Three months in. A few months later, I warmed to you to the point of melting. My breathing changed when you walked into the room, my heartbeat sped up. You may not have seen some of the looks I shot your way, but if you had, it would've been enough for you score a homerun. Griffin," She steps up to me, and grips my face in her hands. "what is it going to take to convince you that I want you."

"I think you just did." I say, as I feel myself growing aroused. Next thing I know she pulled me down to her lips, shoving her tongue.

"Some people would probably be judgmental over how we chose to grieve that night, and hell even how it became the start of our relationship. But to be blunt, we found out that night that how sexual we were. It made all we did that night the perfect way to comfort each other."

She pushed me onto the bed, before crawling down onto my lap, straddling my crotch, and leaving my member basically nothing to the imagination, as her thin pajama pants felt like skin, against my thin shorts. As she pressed her lips back against mine, she knew she had me wrapped around her finger, and as did I, with her.

"In hindsight, it was the best night of my life. But given all that had happened in that week, it was still hard to believe such at the time. Now, I just wish I could relive it in its entirety." 'Rather than just these brief flashes I'm seeing', Walker thought to himself.

Stripped bare, and raring to go, I've got her on her back, and I make her shudder as I gently push into her. "Shit." she moans out, as she pulls me in, pushing my face into the mattress, from the back of my head. She knew just as well as I did that we both knew what we were doing at this point. "Fuck me." She lightly whispers into my ear.

Not wanting this to be part of the interview, and knowing that this was none of anyone's business, Walker spoke these thoughts to himself. 'In the subsequent months of our relationship, we were rough with each other. But on that first night, we only cared about how close we were, not how deep I went.' He thought to himself.

It's a good thing a lost some weight recently, because I probably would've otherwise pancaked Jane. She had a strong grip on my back in her left hand, her nails digging in providing both pain and pleasure, while I feel her right hand entangled in my hair. I have to turn my head to attach my lips, in order to keep myself under control. I almost lost it when she warmly sighed into my ear.

Walker couldn't hear in full volume while going through the memory, what Admiral Hackett was saying, but he could hear well enough. "She really loved you." He said.

Walker shook his head. "I guess she did."

"She was one of a kind."

"Damn right she was." He looked down on the floor, as the ending of his memory plays out in his mind.

After a scream into my mouth signaling her orgasm, I hit one last hard thrust, and popped as I slowed to a halt. Our lips had been attached together for the last couple of minutes, and now we had to catch our breathe, because we were spent, pleased, and happy. I went to her left side, lying on my own side, and pulling her body into mine. She looked back at me and we kissed one more time.

"That next morning was the first time we ever told each other how we truly felt. And no matter what unfolded in the future, I never felt any different."