I want to take this moment to remind everyone that I'm writing this for therapeutic reasons, not for qualities sake. I appreciate everyone who is reading, but even if no one was reading this, I would still be writing this, because it helps me to grieve.

Missed Breakfast

Sirloin steak, medium-rare, mashed potatoes, and piping hot French Fries. Top it all off with a classic coke, and it was one of Lieutenant-commander Walker's favorite meals. It was enough to rise his spirits, but not enough to drive off the memories. Time spent together with Shepard as both children and teenagers. Seeing her after his N7 graduation, the day he found out she was becoming leader of him and his team. Their relationship. The things they did when they were both on leave, the arguments, the angry make-up sex. As he finishes those memories, and his last bit of mashed potatoes, he says out loud, "One of a kind." as he sips his coke.

As he continues to eat, he looks over to see a Drell conversing with some of his fellow soldiers. Not showing obvious attention, he listens to the conversation while eating. "Soldier please," The Drell says. "all that I want is to know when my friend is buried."

"I'm not lying to you." The soldier responds. Walker think he knew what the Drell was asking about. "I know nothing of the Commanders funeral. Now I need to go, and while the Commander may have pulled strings, to allow you access to Alliance ship, she didn't authorize you to bother working soldiers." The soldier storms past the Drell, and Walker waits for him to pass, before he looks back to the alien.

"Drell." Walker calls out to the alien. "Come here. Have a seat.

"Okay." The blue and black trench coat wearing alien responded, as he moved over to sit across from the Lieutenant. "Can you help me, soldier."

"Introductions first, kid. I'm Lieutenant-Commander Griffin Walker."

"Kolyat Krios."

"So, you've got questions about Commander Shepard's funeral."

"How did you know?"

"She's honestly the only Commander that matters. It's not a top secret situation, so you don't need to worry about that. It's just that only a few people know Shepard personally. If she had a say, the funeral wouldn't happen, without her family, and since she has no known surviving blood relatives, she wants her hole crew, every one that ever had on either Normandy, that's still alive, to be there."

"You knew Shepard?"

"Longer than most, whether people knew about it, or me beforehand, or not. I met her when I was a child, and she was later my lover."

The green and black scaled-faced alien leaned back into his seat, and contemplated. "And then she was later my father's lover."

Walker looked at the alien in the eyes. "So your Thane's son. She told me about you. Didn't mention what your name was." He noticed that alien was shifting around unsettlingly. "Relax kid. I was pissed when I first heard. But that didn't last long. The fact of the matter was that I thought she was dead, and she was, until Cerberus somehow brought her back to life. And when she couldn't get in contact with me, and with the fact that Admiral David Anderson had no idea what happened to me, she thought I was dead, until I called her. She moved on... sounds like something I need to do soon."

The Drell nods. "So... who is missing? That's not classified, is it?"

"No. Systems Alliance members James Vega, Kaidan Alenko, Samantha Traynor, Doctor Karin Chakwas, Engineer Greg Adams, and expert pilot Steve Cortez. Also a human reporter named Diana Allers. Along with her alien allies, Turian Garrus Vakarian, Asari doctor Liara T'soni, Quarian Tali'Zorah, and..." He looks around, to see if anyone else is around.

"I already know about the Prothean, Walker." Kolyat quietly interrupts.

Walker chuckles. "She told you."

"No. I saw him, on the Citadel, speaking to her."

Walker nods his head. "Is that all the information you wanted to know, Krios?"

"No sir." He stands up out of his seat, and bows his head. "Thank you Lieutenant. I appreciate your information."

"No problem. I'm sorry about your father."

Kolyat smiles. "Thank you. I'm sorry about your loss as well." As the Drell walks out of sight, Walker returns to his last bit of food. He checks his clock, with five minutes left. He nods his head, carries his dish over to the kitchen, and then heads back to the observation deck.

Back at the deck...

Hackett stared out the window. The Citadel was gone. Back to the Serpent Nebula. Through a few months of hard, cooperative work from all the races, even the Krogan, the largest civilization in the galaxy was quickly made both livable, and workable for people to have jobs, government or otherwise.

"Sir, he has one more minute." The Ensign tells Hackett.

"The kitchen told me that he brought the dishes to their station a few minutes ago." Hackett responds. "He'll be here."

"Yes I will." Both men turn to see the Lieutenant walk into the room, almost on cue. "It's time to finish this. There isn't much more to talk about."

"No, there isn't. Have a seat Lieutenant. I have just a few more questions, and then you're free to go." Walker takes a seat. "Did you enjoy your dinner?"

"Yes sir. Before we begin, what's the status on Shepard's missing companions?"

"Our operation is being aided by a certain... friend of Dr. T'soni's. He's proven to be a huge asset."

"Good. I'm ready to get the funeral out of the way, as well. Speaking of getting things out of the way."

"Right. Ensign?"

'"I'm ready whenever you are, sir." The young soldier responds.

"We carry on from when you discovered that Commander Shepard was back, and seeing someone else. Shepard's new love was a former Krell Assassin named Thane Krios. Did you see her after the fact?"

"I think either three or four times afterwards. At least in person, we talked a few times over comm."

"Go through those times."

"To be fair, I saw her the first time, but didn't speak to her. It was during the Cerberus invasion of the Citadel. My team and I, accept Carlos, who I allowed to have leave, so he could attempt to save his own childhood friend, from a planet being heavily invaded by the Reapers. I didn't ask which planet, just heard the name he said, and told him 'Go.' Luckily the team that I had was more than enough. I looked out in the distance at one point, and I saw her, but I had my hands full myself."

"Does that mean that the second time was after the invasion was over?"

"A day or two after, yeah. She came up to me, when she saw me. She told me that Thane Krios had died from his injuries." Walker shuts his eyes.

Fire, smoke, death, the screams of those both terrified, and dying. Smells and sounds that I never would've thought I'd hear on the Citadel, of all places. It had been two days, but the smells were still there, and while the screams had died down and turned into painful groans, that somehow felt worse. And I never would've thought I would see people turn to scavenging, and thievery, around here. Yet here I was, standing in front of a wounded, defenseless Salarian, pointing my pistol at a quickly scurrying away Turian, right in the streets, not even in an apartment.

I turn back around, holstering my pistol, and use my Omni-tool to heal his wounds. "Thank you, human." She says, as I help her to her feet.

"No problem. Stay safe, everyone's lost their damn minds." I tell her. She nods her hand, and walks away. I run my left hand through my hair, and blow out hot air, from pure frustration. I've seen plenty of bullshit like this, the entirety of this day, and I just want one thing to relax my nerves today. Now I feel like I should've said that sooner, when all of a sudden, someone grabs my face, and pecks my lips with hers. I'm then given one brief second to register who it is. It's Jane. She wraps her arms around my waist, and I swear I can feel a tear graze my shoulder. I wrap my arms back around her, and squeeze. Not one word is said for the next five minutes. No matter what has changed, to see her again in person was surreal, in the best way possible.

"I wasn't exactly having a good day myself, when she found me and told me. But I always, throughout every point in the time that I knew her, was willing to make time for her. She brought me over to a bench a few feet away, and we sat down. That was when she told me about Krios."

"What all was said?"

"Not much. She told me, I held her for a couple more minutes. She wanted to know if my crew was ready for the last battle with the Reapers, I said that we were, and then I ended up actually getting a call from command, sending my crew on a brief mission, elsewhere."

"And the third time you saw her?"

"Right before she left for the Cerberus base. I missed that party she threw at Anderson's old apartment, because of my mission, but I made it back in time to pay her a visit at said apartment."

An apartment complex, in one of the most popular entertainment areas in the Citadel. The exact opposite of the apartment that we had lived in, back on Earth. That was a conversation starter. As if the apartments location was an exact opposite, the apartment itself was doubly so. A second floor. A beautiful view. Multiple TV's and a workout room. Fucking hell. Or Heaven in this case, for a soldier at least.

"Envious?" I heard her call, from the second floor.

"At this point." I start, as I walk up the stairs. "I may not be, in the future."

"Moving up in the world?"

"No." I respond, as I've made it up top, and move in close to look her in the eyes. The night lights shinning in through the window made this a film worthy scene. "Just still holding hope."

She knew what I meant. But I could see it in her eyes, she believed she had just lost her true love. "Griffin... you know how I felt about Thane."

"I do. I also know how you felt about me. I know how I feel about you."

"Wait." She said, somewhat shocked. "You aren't mad. At all."

"I was. And not briefly, either. For months. But then I took time to think about it. You said it yourself, when you first came back, you thought I was dead. You had no reason to think otherwise. Moving on? You had every right to do that. And believe me, I know you need time. But why don't we start somewhere?"

She smiles. "I would like that. No matter what we become in the future, I never want to completely part ways with you." She looks out toward the window. "If we beat the Reapers, do you want to get breakfast somewhere?"

"You know they just opened an IHOP, on the Citadel?"

"You're shitting me!" She exclaims, making us both laugh.

"Yeah, an American tradition moved on the Citadel. I'm surprised that they survived that IHOB phase in 2018, frankly."

She chuckles. "IHOP it is then. You know where it is, right?"

"No. But I can find out easily. Go tomorrow?"

"No. My crew and I will be heading to the Cerberus base first thing tomorrow morning."

"So they are working with the Reapers."

She nods. They need to be out of the picture, before we take on the Reapers."

"Alright. I'll see you at IHOP then."

"Assuming we both survive."

I stepped up closer to her side, and kissed the side of her forehead. "I'll see you at IHOP." I confidently repeat.

"We talked for a while, before I actually left the apartment. But I left with an arrangement to meet her for breakfast."

"A date?"

"No. we were gonna start as friends, like before we started dating, see where it went from there."

"You said three or four times, both during and after the Cerberus invasion. Was there a fourth time?"

"Yes. It was towards when she used the Crucible to finish off the Reapers. She didn't say that she was calling everyone she could think of, to say goodbye, but I have a feeling that was what she was doing, when she called me."

"What all did she say to you?"

"I was dropping off some survivors from a downed Salarian warship, when I got the call. 'Jane? Do you need a quick bombing run for backup?' I asked her. She told me no. Told me that she was in the closest safe area to the conduit, and that she was wanting to check up on me. I told her that I hope she gets this done quickly, because at the time the Nightshade was running low on reserve fuel. We're gonna need to pack it in sooner, rather than later."

"I'm sure that didn't help when you were trying to save her, when she was going down in Texas."

"That's for sure. I mentioned to her that that new IHOP was brought down by the invading Reaper forces in was brought down. Said that we would have to pick a different place when all of this was over. She sounded a bit down next, and she said to me, 'Griffin, this may very well be the end.' I was so confident that it'd be alright. I repeated what I said about finding a different place, and she just couldn't understand how I was so positive. I told her that I was actually nervous of whether or not we'd make it out alive, but that positive thinking was the only comforting thing in this hellish situation."

"Unfortunately, yes it was. No one even knew if the Crucible would be our saving grace."

"Exactly. I had to believe, and that was the first time in my life I had ever seen doubt in her eyes. I wanted to reassure her, because no one could afford to show a lack of confidence, or the Reapers would've torn us all to bits. And she was the only one who could stop them. At... at that moment, I confessed that I was a little doubtful and also realized that there was a chance I'd never have another chance to tell her how I felt. Even during the two years she was ruled as dead, even after I found out about Krios, even when she was in mourning," He lets out a rough sigh, during his pause. "Even now, I still love her, and I'll never truly stop. As an atheist, it's something like this that makes me hope I'm wrong."

"And you told her this? That you still loved her?"

"Yes."

"What was her response?"

"I didn't have time to hear it. She said my name, and we were being shot at as soon as we re-entered Earth's atmosphere, and I had to go. I told her to stay safe, and then had to cut the call. Those were my last words to the woman I love."

"Commander Shepard, put these motherfuckers down for good." Griffin says brashly.

"Don't worry Lieutenant Walker, the galaxy is in good hands." Jane responds confidently.

"Boss, we're taking fire!" Nick yells in the background.

"I've gotta go, Commander. Stay safe out there."

Walker shuts his eyes, and looks down to the ground, rubbing his face with both hands. "Fuck." He whispers, before looking back up. "Granted some people's last words to the ones they love have been far worse, and at least she knew how I felt, in the end."

"That she did kid. That she did. Is there anything you want to say, in closing?"

"I'm mourning. I just lost my best friend, the love of my life. Humanity just lost it's shinning star. And now my team and I, through our actions, are considered the best alternative. I won't lie, I need the time to mourn. My team needs the time to discover if our pilot will be able to make his return to service. My friends, across all races. Help us find Shepard's missing crew members. And then, we may all mourn."

"Thank you for your time, Lieutenant Walker." Hackett says, then looking at the Ensign. "And cut. Alright, with the close of this interview, I'm going to recommend you be given two months off, and your team be sent to aid in the search for Shepard's missing crew."

Both men stand up, and shake hands. "Thanks Admiral. Keep me posted, if I may ask you to."

"Of course Walker. But first, your promotion. Report to HQ first thing tomorrow morning, in your Dress Blues. No matter what brass thinks of your interview, you won't hear it, and your promotion will be entirely unaffected."

The Lieutenant simply nods his head, as the Admiral leaves the room, with the Ensign not far behind him. Left alone once again, Walker looks out the window. The memories of Shepard continue to flood his thoughts, and he breaks down.

The day that Cariana died, she was driving to meet up with me, for breakfast at IHOP. And then the car crash happened, and I lost her. I was pissed at first, and then I found out, and I was devastated.