Padmé wasn't in her office when Anakin got there, but her aides were so used to seeing him that they let him in with little fuss. He didn't even have to use his pre-crafted excuse about making sure the assassin didn't have any accomplices.

Unfortunately, since she wasn't there Anakin had time to go over his realization of just how badly he'd kriffed things up by going and falling in love with Obi-Wan. Padmé was going to be so mad that he'd probably be lucky if she didn't want to dissolve their marriage.

Anakin felt like he couldn't breathe, the weight of his thoughts constricting his chest. His mind was clamoring with panic and alarm, but most of all guilt. It was his fault, all his fault. Padmé wouldn't want a husband who fell in love with other people. Obi-Wan would never love him either; he was the perfect Jedi.

He crumpled to the floor, curling in on himself as if to keep the negative thoughts from digging their claws any deeper into him. He didn't know how long he laid there before he shifted into a kitten, hoping that a layer of fur would be better protection against his own insecurities, and climbed up on Padmé's chair.

It smelled like her, and Anakin soaked up as much of her scent as he could get. It was soothing, although not as much as her actual presence was. Still, it did more to wash away his anxiety than anything else.

Anakin cast about for something else to think about other than the giant ball of guilt that was just waiting to coerce him into a panic attack as well as its source, anything else. He flexed his claws as he felt the anxiety seeping back, then froze as a thought occurred to him.

Was this why Jedi were forbidden from attachments? All of this internal anguish and fear, it was easy to see how the Jedi could think that it was dangerous. After all, letting fear consume you was the first step down the path to the Dark side, and Anakin had let himself feel all of it rather than releasing it to the Force.

Still, if attachments were so dangerous, why would a temple that splintered from the main Order because of them reveal how perilous love was to him?

The sound of the door swishing open kept him from spiralling further into his negative thoughts. He sat up, peering over the top of Padmé's desk to see who had just entered her office.

Despite his intense feelings of guilt, Anakin started purring almost immediately when he saw that it was Padmé. Somehow, she always managed to make him feel better. She was so kind and beautiful and smart and brave, and she was going to be so upset with him once she realized why he was here.

"Anakin," she said, a smile appearing on her face like the sun breaking through clouds. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Anakin shifted back to human form before she could pick him up and took a step back. He didn't deserve to touch her, not until she knew what he had done.

Padmé frowned. "Something's wrong."

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He needed to ease his way into this confession, help her understand that he didn't mean to fall in love with Obi-Wan. He couldn't just blurt it out like he had done to Barriss.

"Tell me," she said. "Please."

Anakin could never deny her anything.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the words sticking in the back of his throat. "It was an accident, please, you have to believe me. I would never do it on purpose."

"Anakin, what is it? What happened?" Padmé asked, stepping forward and reaching for him.

His knees nearly gave out when she touched his face. "It was an accident, I swear."

"I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong," Padmé said, rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone.

Anakin leaned into her touch before he could help himself, but he flinched away as soon as he realized what he was doing. "I'm in love with Obi-Wan," he admitted in a small voice.

Padmé blinked. "Well, of course." She paused, her eyes widening. "Wait, have you only just realized this?"

Anakin's mind stuttered to a halt. He had absolutely no clue how to respond to what Padmé had said.

Padmé kept speaking. "You two just seemed to understand each other so well, and your face lights up whenever you're talking about him. Well, except when you're complaining about how he doesn't pay attention to you. I knew after Geonosis that I wasn't the only person in your heart, and I was okay with that."

He opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. Padmé was too good for him. Hopefully she never realized that.

"Come here," Padmé said, pulling him up and into a hug. Anakin sagged into her arms, so relieved that she hadn't pushed him away.

"I thought you would hate me," he said, burying his face in her hair.

"Oh, Anakin, no, I could never hate you," she promised, running her hands up and down his back.

"Can- can I stay with you? Just for a little while?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, of course. Whatever you need. I have to review some bills before I go home, but after that I'm all yours," she said.

"I can stay out of the way while you do that, maybe hide in the back," Anakin offered. "Or maybe come back later."

"If you were a kitten, no one would suspect a thing," Padmé suggested.

Anakin lit up, pulling back from the hug and beaming at her. "You're a genius."

He shifted into his kitten form and stared up at Padmé, silently begging her to pick him up. She cheerfully obliged, setting him onto her lap once she sat down and started working. A loud purr rumbled out of his chest when she began scratching behind his ears.

Anakin had no idea what he was going to do about Obi-Wan, nor how he was going to go about fixing whatever was wrong with the Jedi Order. However, for now he was completely happy.

His fear and anxiety had so consumed him that he'd forgotten that love had been described as beautiful too in his vision. Sure, it was capable of destroying his life, but he wouldn't have a life worth living without the people he loved.