Sitting on the Massive's bridge, Dib looked about at the Irkens placed at every position, all of them looking right over at Dib...and Senior. Senior was tapping his head back and forth, humming loudly as he sat in the captain's chair, or rather, what had been Tallest Red's chair, with Dib in what had been Tallest Purple's. Senior was clearly listening to Christmas music, Dib could hear it coming out of the attached "communicator patches" on the side of the green-eyed Irken's head.
The former communications officer was cheerily humming along, the Massive all done up in beautiful Christmas lights of green, red and white, a few Christmas wreaths hanging from various doors, tinsel, decorations and popcorn rings draped over a large christmas tree that stood to the far right where the bathroom was, and, of course...the candy canes. Everyone was slurping on some candy canes, even Dib munched away on one as Senior's humming turned into full on singing.
"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style! In the air there's a feeling of Christmaaaaaaas! Children laughing, people passing, meeting smile after smile! And on every street corner you heaaaaaar!"
"Oh geez, he's getting started. Batten down the hatches." announced a female communications officer with distinctly yellow attire as a jetpack-spouting orange-attired guard grinned in delight, an adorable little, tongue-sticking-out bouncy ball face bounced around, attached to a black, springy line at the top of her jetpack. She flicked it about as it bounced back and forth, her skin rather pale, just like the female communications officer, who lowered the lower facial mask she had and gave the guard a wink.
"Ol Senior is at it again." said the guard as the face ball on the jetpack then actually changed to an "eyeroll" expression as she looked at Dib. "He does this every Christmas, he LOVES Christmas songs. We get them up the wazoo every December."
"How on Earth do you Irkens even KNOW about Christmas?" Dib asked as Senior kept singing to himself, and the guard and the others on the bridge looked at each other, chuckling a bit as a service drone carrying a big steely plate filled with candy canes and gingerbread cookies walked over, deep purple eyes gazing at Dib. He wore a simple outfit, it was much like Zim's, in truth. Red/maroon with pinkish arms, dark pants, black gloves and boots.
"Ol' "Door-Maht" can tell you." said the guard as Maht sighed, leading Dib out of the bridge, putting the tray of christmas treats down as they approached Senior's room way at the end of the hall, opening it up as Dib gasped. The entire room had been done up in Christmas spirit even more than the bridge! The walls had been painted green and red and white, the carpets were candy-cane colored, there were several little trees on his desks and clothes bureau, tinsel draped over his pictures and paintings, mistletoe hanging above a mirror in the corner and, of course...the Christmas music. A holly jolly dancing Santa Claus was shaking his groove thing, and singing Christmas carols merrily atop one of the desks.
"There's a huge black market on Irk." Maht remarked, walking over to the dancing Santa Claus doll as he held it up, Santa singing out "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas" as his purple eyes gazed into Dib's own golden/amber ones. "Senior introduced it to us on our first week stationed at the Massive. He took us there when we were refilling the Massive's supplies of snacks and oil. We only had a few hours...but we used it wisely and stocked up on so much stuff from various planets. Some of it from Vort, like specialty furniture, others came from Arcadia, they make excellent electronics. But the EARTHEN market...well..."
"How did all this Earthen stuff get there?" Dib asked, amazed as Maht smiled a bit.
"Well, Tak and Skoodge had lived on Earth for quite some time. Especially Tak. After all, she'd replaced a man's daughter to take control of the "Deelishus Weenie" corporation, and she needed some money to help support her cause. So she sold off the girl's music collection. From what Senior said, he was the first customer, and he paid her VERY handsomely because he was always on the lookout for new music. That, and...well, he kind of...got into Earthling comics."
"Comics?" Dib walked over to a bookcase that reached all the way up to the ceiling. It was loaded up with comic book trade paperbacks, from DC to Marvel to Image and beyond! Some were indie hits like "Persepolis" or "Bone", but most of them were superhero ones, especially ones about Superman, and the Justice League, and Captain America and Green Lantern.
"The girl Tak replaced had a love of the "Green Lantern" books starring this...artist type named Kyle Rayner. Senior fell in love with it. He found Earthling comics and music so...creative. So he paid for more, and spread it to others and they started to like it too. Soon Tak and Skoodge were selling anything they could from Earth to Irk on the black market to help support themselves on the planet, and...well..." Maht shrugged. "Then WE got into it. We got introduced to the glory of Christmas. Senior gives us presents, we got to pig out on great candy we'd never had before, and we felt...well...warm. Warm and fuzzy and all nice inside."
He put a gloved hand on his chest as Dib looked through the many Green Lantern comics Senior had, noticing a few of them had Tak's writing inscribed within. "I knew you'd like this, you're a sucker for big green do-gooders." He read aloud. "...huh. No wonder he wanted to come take over Earth, all his favorite stuff is there."
"Well, that's part of it." Maht remarked.
Suddenly a thought came to Dib. An ugly, worrisome thought. "You Irkens aren't...trying to get me to like Senior more just so I'll turn on my kind and...I dunno, go gay with him, are you? Like, you aren't trying to get me to see him as more "human" and more like me than my own people so I'll turn on the Earth and let him blow it up or something, right?" he asked, wheeling around, eyes narrowing. "Is this all some plot to try and get me enchanted into Senior's charms so I'll do anything he wants, even slaughtering my own people?"
"...he's four hundred and twenty one years old, happily married, and even had a kid." Maht said, raising a nonexistent eyebrow up. "Not ONLY would that be beyond gross, that doesn't even begin to make sense. You'd never turn on the Earth and go gay with a member of the very race that's been tormenting you for years, even if that member WAS very nice and sweet and "dreamy"." He added, waving his gloved hands in the air. "You're too determined to keep Earth safe and still to distrusting of us. And if we blew up your home, you'd sooner rip our throats out with your teeth than join us." The drone added, tilting his head a bit.
Dib nodded. "Yeah, yeah." He admitted sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head and sat down on Senior's bed, Maht sitting next to him.
"We heard about how dedicated you were to fighting off Zim for so long, how devoted you are to protecting Earth, to the point of obsession. It's why Tak fancied you. Why Senior wanted you by his side. Why Skoodge respects you. You'd never toss your principles OR your people in the garbage. That's a sign of integrity, Dib. At the end of the day, you're a remarkably selfless, compassionate kid. That's why Senior wanted you to join him in all this."
Now Dib felt a pang of guilt rise up in him. He tried to surpress it, to beat it back down. They would be at Irk in a few days time, the hyperdrive warp engine was revving up, a soft humming filling up the Massive that signaled it had turned on. He had to get a sample of Irk's atmosphere, it's solar radiation, it's soil, all to find out Irken weaknesses and to exploit them, and no matter how NICE Senior was, no matter how kindly the new head of the Empire was trying to be towards him and his family and his race...he had to free his planet. Even IF it was a benevolent one, the Irkens were still imposing a tyranny and he had to stop it.
"If you want anything from the kitchen, let me know. I've got to check in on the bathrooms. Sometimes Red and Purple "forget" to do them to try and get back at us. It's their petty way of revenge. Evidently they're more perceptive than we thought, they picked up on how we'd get back at them after all. I can only hope they haven't figured out how we were the ones putting all that salt in their soda. If they ever found that out, we'd never drink safely again." Maht mused aloud, exiting the room as Dib noticed a computer console on Senior's desk, approaching it.
It was unlocked, and various file folders showed off, sure enough, video recordings of the bridge, complete with notes. Dib flicked through them, a lot of them seemed to be criticisms of how Tallests Red and Purple were handling something. Or rather, NOT handling it, but delegating the hard work to the workers on the bridge, and passing the buck. The ship under attack? Get someone ELSE to handle defenses. The structural integrity was compromised in the East Wing? Well, THEY didn't sleep over there, so it could wait. So what if the bathrooms were flooding? They had their own private bathrooms, the others could just hold it in.
"Whatcha gotta do is let a little out, let it dry...let a little out, let it dry." Maht informed an aggravated-looking service drone whom he was patting on the back. "I learned that the first week here. Tallests Red and Purple wouldn't let me use the bathroom for a whole day because I mixed up their drink orders." He intoned sadly as the drone began to openly sob, Maht leading him off the bridge, Red and Purple sniggering as Senior tossed them a very dirty look.
But the next clip showed only Senior on the bridge, and he was speaking to someone over a communications channel, and not just anyone, but, of all people, Tak.
"Yes, I'm aware of your file, Tak, and how you didn't get to take the test. I know about..." He pinched the space between his eyes and deeply sighed. "Look, I know all the prefix codes to the ships, alright? Yes. Yes, I COULD send you codes, I could help you get control of a ship and help you escape, but I can't, alright? There's no IRKEN ships that pass by there, so any prefix codes I send you would be worthless. They use Vortian ships, alright? I don't know the codes for that, I..."
"You have to get me off of this planet!" Tak insisted angrily. "RIGHT NOW! I deserve to be an Invader! I had my chance stolen from me by Zim's idiocy!"
"You're not the only one who lost important things because of Zim being a moron!" Senior said, his temper slightly rising in the recording as his spiky antennae flattened against his head. "Miyuki and Spork are GONE because of him! They were the closest things I had to family, Tak! My two best friends all through training and the best boss I ever had! The best Tallest Irk ever knew, and she's DEAD cuz of that idiot with an ego the size of a weather balloon! So don't act like you're the only one who's suffered because of him!"
"I was locked in a room for DAYS! Do you know what I had to eat to stay alive?!" Tak growled angrily back, as Dib saw Senior's temper slip another notch.
"What do you want me to do, Tak?" He asked, his voice now slightly cold, and accusatory. None of the warmth, the amiableness that Dib usually heard was there. "I can't just send you a ship. Even taking this call could get me tossed out an airlock if the Tallest found out. I'm here to be a MACHINE. To process calls over and over. To deny people what they want if the Tallest don't care enough. And even then, if they say its alright, and we can give someone what they need, it's not because THEY care. Its because it might help the Empire. An Empire that shows just as little mercy to its allies and subjects as its enemies."
Tak now nervously gulped. There was an edge building in Senior's voice as one gloved, clawed hand gripped the bridge desk he stood on tightly, so tightly that his claws dug into the metal.
"I stare at a computer for 9 hours a day, talking to people I want to, but can't help. Listening to the final, begging, screaming cries of Irkens being fired on, desperate for aid. Hearing them pleading for assistance, for a rescue. Listening to Wardens describing how much FUN they're having, torturing the prisoners on Vort, even though they could just get one of our psychic consulars down there to do interrogations, but oh NO! No, they want the filthy goaty heads to bleed because its FUN to fuck around with the inferior little breeders! And I sit alone, in my bed, just WISHING I had someone to talk to about all this, but I don't even have THAT hollow pleasure because Zim's big blob monster ATE the shoulder I had to cry on and the Tallest won't even let me CALL Skoodge! In fact, whenever I bring him up, they say they'll only let me go check on him to find out how he died, cuz they got a BET going on! Red says he probably got eaten alive by the Slaughtering Rat People while Purple says he probably drowned in the planet's many rivers! This is my life, Tak, do you understand? THIS! IS! MY! LIFE!"
And with that, he PUNCHED through the screen he'd been talking to Tak through, screaming in aggravation, slamming his fist into the chunky, sparking bit of metal over and over until, at long last, he slowly slid away from the desk, shook the pieces of computer off his gloved hand...and headed out of sight of the camera that was recording him.
"...thank god the Tallest never saw this." Dib mumbled to himself. He probably would have been tossed out an airlock for sure.
...
...
...
...at long last, the Massive had reached Irk, and Dib was treated to a full view of the planet and its odd alien landscape. The world had long stretches of flat ground, with patches of thick red, earthen tones over gritty, faintly desert-esque terrain. In addition to that, huge chunks of the planet had deeply vibrant, tight-cut orange grass that stretched for miles and miles over the planet, going off into a seemingly infinite horizon. There were few valleys and mountains, though there was, however, an enormous capitol city in the center of the planet.
Tall skyscrapers rose up, deep purple and red in color, Senior letting out a "CHUH" sound of aggravation, rolling his green eyes as he strolled along the steely sidewalk. There were enormous domed structures that Dib could see into the glassy roofs of, which contained, from the looks of it, nothing but food. Snacks, snacks of a hundred different brands, some from Earth, even!
Other buildings were currently in the middle of being closed, with big sticker tape, ugly and yellow, draped over it that read "Closed" again and again. Various very tiny little Irken babies barely bigger than a doll were being led out of a few of them by kindly-looking, white-robed consulars, all of whom had the same little necklaces that Dib had seen on the psychic, Darth. They were helping the Irken tykes along, a few hovering them about their heads as if they were moons and the consular was a mother planet, others carrying them in their arms as tenderly as possible, and a few had simply gotten little shopping carts and put the babes within.
"Faster, faster!" One of them cried out, standing atop one of his little baby compatriot's shoulders, banging his tiny fist on the cart as the blue-eyed consular rolled her eyes and pushed the cart a bit faster, Senior leading Dib towards what was very clearly one of the ONLY parks in the city. A very small park barely larger than his school's playground, but luckily for them, Tak was there as well, nonchalantly holding up her hand, showing off a very nice glimmering golden ring on it.
She was showing off this fine jewelry to about a dozen little Irken children, all of whom were listening in as she relayed her tale, and it took a moment, as the sun of Irk bathed down upon them all in an orange sky, for Dib to realize...
Zim. Zim was now stuck on the golden ring like he was an overgrown jewel, uselessly squirming, held in place by little golden clawlike bands that tightly gripped him and held him to the ring. He glowered darkly up at Dib and Senior as Tak smiled at them. "I've got some time off so I thought I'd tell these little smeets about the most pathetic Irken in our race."
"How goes your glorious new job as the manager of the best military force in the galaxy?" Senior asked with a little chuckle as Tak gave him a bit of a playful salute.
"I've been having all the troops running hard training drills, we've shut down the smeet factories to ensure there's no more test tube children, we're making sure Irkens cut down on their PAK use to get them adjusted to a future where they'll BE no more PAKs, and we're changing the power grid to make better use of solar and wind power over nuclear energy. In fact, the capitol's the last place with such a facility." Tak insisted. "We're going back to the way it ought to be, nice and natural and replenishible and utterly-self-sufficient."
"Good. Dib wanted to get samples of our soil and air and the sunshine Irk is blessed with for some testing. He's said he's worried that cleaning up the environment of Earth might mean an increase in negative solar radiation that will severely damage Irken flesh. So he wants a baseline from our planet to compare to his own."
"Oh yes, good idea, we wouldn't want to clean the atmosphere only to find that doing so would cook us alive." Tak remarked calmly as she flexed her clawed digits some more, Zim angrily squirming around and hissing at them.
"You will let Zim go immediately, you filthy kisgaree!" He snarled at Tak.
"What part of "you're stuck there" didn't register in your big, swollen, egotistical head?" Tak inquired with a laugh as the smeets around them giggled, a few poking Zim, making him snap his teeth at them as an idea then came to Tak and she gave Dib a look. "You know, Dib...I've an idea. Zim's caused you almost as much pain as me. Why don't YOU have some fun with him? In fact, I've actually begun to get...BORED with torturing Zim like this." She admitted, waving the Zim-ring about, tossing it up and down in the air, making Zim groan and gasp out in pain.
"OOOF! OOOGH! OWWW!" He yelled out, flopping into her palm over and over every time she tossed him up.
"Here." She caaarefully peeled his tiny frame out and gave him to Dib, who plucked Zim up by the back of his shirt, looking Zim over as Zim flailed his tiny arms about in vain. "We Irkens have had our PAKs adjusted, we can eat humans without fear of really harming them. But, well...if an IRKEN was shrunk, nothing they could do. Especially not Zim, nothing on his PAK is working but the life support, so..." She evilly smirked. "If you want, Dib...go ahead. Get rid of Zim once and for all. Wouldn't it be fitting to have your greatest enemy eaten?"
Zim turned pale. His eyes bulged. "Y-You wouldn't dare! You wouldn't dare eat me!"
"Oooh, you would HATE that, wouldn't you, Zim? Eaten by the very being you tried to kill for years? By a filthy huuuuuuman." She laughed in her distinct, British accented voice, throwing her head back and cackling. "How deliciously ironic! Emphasis on delicious. Go on, Dib...help yourself."
Dib stared down at Zim's now small, shivering, shuddering frame. It would be so...so easy. No PAK legs to jab at him. No shield to defend the Irken from stomach acids. This time there'd be no escape. And Dib's "finishing move" really WOULD be a finishing move.
He lifted Zim up, his body quivering. The collection of the samples could wait. Nobody here knew why he really wanted them. They were totally bought into the idea he just wanted to help the Irkens, he could collect the samples ANYTIME, when would he get a chance like this? And after all, after being swallowed by an Irken himself, maybe it was time HE do the swallowing. Time HE dominated Zim for once, fully, truly had Zim's life in his hands.
It'd be so...so easy.
He found his tongue slurping over Zim's tiny frame. He tasted so good. Like a lovely little lime hard candy with a faintly sizzling aftertone that danced on his tongue like pop rocks. Dib could hear his heart thumping in his ears, feel his blood racing. Why not do it? Why not? After EVERYTHING Zim had done?
...so easy. So simple. And Zim would be gone forever. He couldn't say Zim didn't deserve it...
...Dib's mouth opened.
Author's Note:
Now herein...lies the rub. Zim's fate is up to you, dear readers. Should Zim be eaten? Or should Dib spare him? Totally up to you. I've put a poll up on my Profile, it's at the top of the page. Your choice decides whether or not Zim survives or doesn't. Vote however you'd like, I'll incorporate the results in the next update within a week or two. Probably once the Christmas holiday ends. In the meantime...Happy Holidays!