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Dib found his tongue slurping over Zim's tiny frame. He tasted so good. Like a lovely little lime hard candy with a faintly sizzling aftertone that danced on his tongue like pop rocks. Dib could hear his heart thumping in his ears, feel his blood racing. Why not do it? Why not? After EVERYTHING Zim had done?
...so easy. So simple. And Zim would be gone forever. He couldn't say Zim didn't deserve it...
...Dib's mouth opened...
He leaned in close to Zim...
And he saw Zim's eyes clench tightly shut, his body quaking and shivering, filled with fear, and then...
"Remember this, Zim. A human saved your life." Dib whispered right in Zim's ear, or lack thereof. And with that, he handed Zim to Senior, who smiled softly at this, putting Zim into a little, capsule-like pouch on the side of his belt. The green-eyed Irken patted Dib on the shoulder, giving him a warm smile.
"I had a feeling you'd do the right thing." He told Dib. "Despite the temptation. You're a damn decent Dib." He remarked with a little chuckle.
"Awwww!" A bunch of the smeets all groaned a bit, pouting slightly. They, evidently, had wanted Zim to get a little comeuppance in the form of being sent down to Dib' colon.
"I'LL eat him!" One of them remarked, holding his tiny little hand up, antannae eagerly bobbing up and down.
"Okay." Senior remarked nonchalantly, plucking Zim out of the capsule on his belt.
"WHAT?!" Zim shrieked out.
"Just kidding." the communications officer chuckled, popping him back in. "You kids are all too young for junk food anyway." Dib laughed at this, then headed over to a big patch of grassy ground, Senior joining him as he knelt down and pulled out a containment capsule which sprang forth from his PAK. He handed the glassy, square-like capsule to Dib, who scooped up big chunks of natural Irken soil and put it into the little jar, Senior nodding at him.
"Will this be sufficient for a soil test?"
"Oh, I think so." Dib said with a nod. "Now I'll need to get some good air samples and solar energy samples too. The air will be easy, but to test what your sun puts out will be tricky."
"Not exactly." Senior remarked with a knowing smile. "I know somebody who can provide you with a perfect sample. It's just about pristine."
"Who?" Dib asked, mouth agape.
...
...
...
...Dib could scarcely believe it. In Bob the Former Table Drone's lovely little room, was a big jar full of burning, intense fire, sealed away within a fireproof capsule, a living bit of burning gas and flame that faintly popped and sizzled as the former low rung on the Irken ladder smiled up at them, Red and Purple grunting darkly as they glared over from a nearby carpet. The two were forced to pick out doughnut pieces. Individually. With tweezers.
Purple was naturally crying over the dreadful waste of doughnut crumbs he couldn't eat. Red was silently stewing as he saw Senior gesture at the fireproof jar, Dib approaching it with awe. "Is...that?"
"Yes!" said former Table Drone Bob, now "Middle Manager Bob". "A piece of the sun of Irk! It was embedded in my squeedlyspooch after Tallests Red and Purple duct-taped me to a chair and launched me and Zim into the sun." His smile turned slightly mechanical. "I can't eat dairy products right anymore because of that. Or, um...sit down right for long periods of time."
"I'm amazed you survived!" Dib exclaimed, getting a pair of heavy-duty gloves from Senior, picking up the jar. He felt the piece of the Irken sun softly burning in his grip, gazing down at it with awe as Bob's face now turned less fake smile and more "trying to mask humbleness" smile.
"Aw, you're too kind, human!" Bob told the black-haired boy as Dib's amber/golden eyes glimmered behind his glasses. It was like holding a precious fairy in a bottle, the fire danced and twirled about so majestically as Bob went on. "It hurt like heck, but the good news was that we flew right through the very edge of the sun and sort of richocheted right out of it. The sun's own gravity slung us around. Course, Zim and I still had to hide in the ship's black box to survive and even then the sun still burned through us."
"HA! Zim only lost ONE left eye while you lost two internal organs and a rib! Scoreboard, Bob! Scoreboard!" Zim squeaked out from the tiny capsule on Senior's belt he was stuck in.
"Yes, but it was your favorite eye, remember?" Senior added. "You called up to complain about Bob's "poor flying" after miraculously surviving your encounter, and to file a complaint."
"Yes. Poor "Lamont"." Zim sighed, looking down at the ground and closing his eyes. "Oh Lamont, how I miss you. If only I could see you...with you. Alas."
"He...named his left eyeball "Lamont". Dare I ask what he named the right one?" Dib inquired, raising an eyebrow up.
"Britney, actually." Bob said. "Irk Almighty, he had this long, ugly funeral for the eye after he crawled from the wreckage of the ship after crashing back down on Irk. He made me play "Taps" for the damn thing and wouldn't let me limp to the hospital until he'd let "Britney" do a Eulogy for his stupid left eye!"
"His name was Lamont and he was beautiful!" Zim procaimed, tearfully wiping a tear from his new left eye, which, interestingly, he had named "Barney". "Oh, Lamont! You were too good for this sinful world! May you be Tallest in the next!"
Needless to say, Dib left the Massive a little while after that to celebrate getting all the samples, Senior taking him to Irk's finest restaurant, a lovely little circular building with a big spatula sticking out the top, and large double doors that gleamed brightly, leading inside. The interior had dark yellow carpeting, and the walls were painted with lovely-looking photographs depicting, what Dib supposed, were various famous Irkens. He recognized Miyuki and Spork and Red and Purple rather easily, Tallests were quite easy to spot.
And of course, now Senior had his own, which was stationed right near the front desk of the restaurant, a desk that gleamed with a lovely faint, yellowish/golden glow like many of the tables within. "Spork had this restaurant made. He LOOOOVED food." Senior told Dib as they approached the front desk, where a cheery-looking Irken in a white little cook's hat bowed a bit before leading them to their table.
"This week's "Specialty Chef" will be out shortly." He told them, leaving them menus as Senior cheerily nodded and looked up at Dib, who examined his menu closely.
"Spork adored fine dining and good food. His idea for the restaurant was that there'd be a new "specialty of the week", a new chef cooking it every week, be they Irken or Vortian or any other inhabitant of the Empire. We've got humans helping out here in our restaurants now, of course, and we're going to have this CHARMING Chinese cook we found doing a noodle special in a few days. Now that Humans are part of the Empire, we can savor all your species has to offer in terms of culinary creations!" Senior laughed. "And right here in our home."
"I appreciate that, because I didn't want to have to order...I dunno...space monkey brains." Dib remarked. "I think I'd like to get some fried dough and fries and a green salad." He said, pointing to different parts of the menu. "And...yes, and a root beer."
"I SO want to try a root beer float, but it would probably burn my throat." Senior sighed sadly. "Still, we're working on adjusting PAKs so that future Irkens will be able to enjoy dairy products and other Earthling food. I know many smeets who can't wait to enjoy their first milkshake."
"So good to see you!" announced a loud, slightly abrasive voice as Dib looked up, seeing a rather huge, round-headed Irken. He had deep-set purple eyes, wore a triangular white chef's hat, a big white apron over his immense frame, and big, thick shoulder pads. He took off the hat, showing off thick antannae, and bowed to Senior.
"Good to see you too, Sizz-Lorr! Do you like being able to take a break from being off Foodcourtia?"
"It's always good to get a little time away from the galaxy's biggest and messiest food court." Sizz-Lorr remarked. "And good to enjoy slower food and fewer customers. Though I admit..." He chuckled dryly. "I've been getting a bit more than I thought now that I've learned human recipes. Still, would you like to hear the specialty I'm making for this week? It's a charming fusion blend. Sliced Skootusk with Earthen Noodles in a lovely sauce, mixed with Paku Plant blossoms. Crunchy and spicy and sweet all at once!"
"My wife will love that, I'm meeting her and the kids here with Dib!" Senior said. "Dib'll have fried dough, an order of fries, a green salad and a root beer."
"And no dressing. I like my salad plain, if you don't mind, Mr. Sizz-Lorr." said Dib, as the gigantic chef took the menus, and then took Dib's hand, shaking it. "Oh! Uh...thanks?"
"I should be thanking you! You've driven Zim up the wall for years now! Anyone who's caused Zim that much pain is a friend of mine."
"Has Zim personally pissed off everyone on Irk?"
"Not yet, but he's getting there." Senior laughed as Sizz-Lorr left them at their table, just as some grey-skinned aliens entered the room, with horned heads. It was a Vortian family, the female had curved-down horns that slid down her cheeks, almost looking like the grips on a car wheel, with piercingly pink eyes. Her youngest was hovering in a little brown crib, with pink eyes to match her mother, whilst her two boys had blue eyes to match the large blue vest she wore, all of the little Vortians having adorable little stubby horns atop their heads.
"Hey there, Peanut!" called out the pink-eyed Vortian to Senior, sliding in next to him along with her children whilst Dib saw the baby hovering her crib down to the side, her pink eyes looking him over as she smiled warmly.
"Hewwo." she said.
"Ohhh. You're...psychic?" Dib asked, intrigued that someone so young could have that kind of powers as she cheerily nodded.
"This is my wife, May Nar. My youngest, Nora, and Bo and Ian." Senior said, Dib nodding his head at the Vortians. He was slightly surprised that the grey-skinned aliens with the springy legs were only wearing shirts, and not any...well, pants. He also found himself slightly distracted by May's...well, chest. He'd never really been this close to a woman before, and a blush came to his cheeks as he nervously looked away.
"Aw, shy?" May asked. "It's okay, sweetie. Lots of people are shy around women."
"So, um...you said your name's "May Nar"?" Dib asked, still not exactly looking her in the face. "Are you related to Lard Nar?"
"He's my brother." May said, leaning over to Senior and kissing his cheek as Zim groaned in disgust at this.
"Ugh. Marrying a filthy goaty-head. You disgusting melkremar!"
Little Nora psyhically hovered the little ball that Zim was in over to herself, and began shaking him around. "OWOWOWOWWOW!" He cried out, being bonked around as May giggled a bit.
"Lard was a BIT weirded out by me marrying Senior, but since Senior had busted me and my children out of the immense jail that Irkens set up to hold our best and brightest away in, AND he helped protect me from my abusive ex-husband, he got over it. Besides, Senior would secretly send aid to the Resisty that my brother led, and now that he's helped bring Vort back to the Vortians, he's really turned around on him." May offered.
"You were in prison? Were you a scientist?" Dib asked, intrigued as he rested his head on his hands, leaning in as May shook her head.
"Oh no. I wired a strip club to explode. Boom! Up it went. Those Irken pricks weren't going to make any more of our kind do lap dances for them." she said with a laugh. "Especially when they no longer had laps to dance on! I'm really good with chemicals, though. Always have been. I've actually begun working on a special additive that'll, when perfected, allow Irkens to enjoy normal Earthling meat products."
"Our food should be here soon." Senior offered. "Kids, when Sizz-Lorr gets here, tell him what you'd like to drink. But remember, Nora. No soda for you."
"Awww." She pouted a bit and shook Zim around some more in his little glassy capsule. Dib chuckled at the sight. But what he really wanted was to ask May Nar about Vortians. He didn't know nearly as much as he'd like to.
"Can you tell me what your planet is like? What religions you might have? How your government works?" He wanted to know of May as she chuckled a bit at how overeager he was, their food soon arriving as Sizz-Lorr took all the kid's orders for...well...milkshakes. Vortians COULD have dairy products, and a slightly dejected Senior and even Zim stared longingly at the drinks he set down whilst Dib munched away on some fries whilst his free hand scribbled down notes on a notepad.
"So I suppose the closest our species would be to yours in terms of culture would be...ah...what's the word? "Jewish"?" May reasoned. "Our tribes, our deep religious upbringing, our rather strict moral guidelines and our traditions have much in common with your Earth's "Jewish" race." She admitted with a nod. "Plus our food is quite similar. We're not allowed to eat pork either! Actually, that reminds me of a joke." She grinned broadly. "A Vortian Priest and an Irken priest are sitting together in a restaurant, and the Irken priest asks "I know you're Vortian, so you can't eat pork. But have you ever done so?" "Yes, a couple of times. And you Irken priests are supposed to remain celibate, but, well, have you ever...?" "Well...yes! A couple of times." "...better than pork, isn't it?"
Dib laughed. He LIKED May, she was delightful, having a kind of "I don't care what I say" sort of personality. It was as if she said whatever came into her mind, and didn't take guff from anyone. The fact she was so open and willing to talk about such personal details of her life and culture, and to even brag about blowing up an Irken titty bar astonished Dib. In fact, she'd even gone into rather disturbing, but hilarious detail on it, forcing the kids to cover each other's ears, Senior covering Nora's cuz she wanted to listen. The highlight of the operation had come when a burning pair of Irken uniform pants had flown clean through the air and flopped right over a stunned guard's face as he'd run over to investigate, May Nar laughing so hard at the sight that she'd fallen right off the nearby roof and onto some trash cans, thus giving away her position, and getting her caught.
"You're funny." Dib said with a grin, when they were all finished, and exiting the restaurant, Dib heading back towards the Massive as Senior and his family joined them. "I should tell you about some of the crazy escapes I had with Zim sometime."
"I have to say, I'm impressed you didn't just smush him." May remarked, looking down at the trapped Zim as he grumbled darkly, arms folded over his chest. "It's tempting to use all that power to do so much!" She admitted, Dib nodding a bit in agreement as they made their way up the ramp, into the Massive, and Dib headed for his own room, Senior heading off with the kids as May walked with Dib. "I know Senior would never fool around with you against your will, but I wanted to ask..." She raised an invisible eyebrow up. "Has...anyone else tried to use the shrinking devices on you?" She wanted to know, Dib shaking his head as he went to the front door of his room, and it slid open.
"Oh, no, no."
"Ah. Well!"
She pulled out one right from her blue vest, and fired it straight at Dib. He gasped, feeling his body tingling and shrinking, getting smaller and smaller as May caught him in her outstretched hand, and closed the door behind herself, going to sit on the bed. Dib nervously shook, staring up at May's now huge figure, the texture of her now large hands feeling like an odd type of grey, warm leather as she chuckled a bit and leaned down. "D'aww, look at you. You're so cute when you're small." She playfully intoned, giving his head a verrrrry gentle little kiss that, despite everything, made him blush. Her lips were so soft to the touch, and when she lifted him up...he found himself being carefully held right up to her rather impressive bust.
"W-Wait, are you...?" He nervously asked.
"Don't be scared." She chuckled, and with that, she placed him right between her breasts, Dib finding himself carefully positioned just in the right space. It was like being held up by two big, bouncy, warm balls of flesh, an erotic, strange scent coming off her body. She had a faintly odd mixture of sweet and spicy aftertones that intermingled, making Dib slightly shudder as her breasts jiggled about, making him shake a bit.
"OHHH." He murmured out, now blushing even more deeply as she chuckled, taking hold of each breast and giving them a bit of a shake, making Dib bob up and down. "Woah-woah-woah!"
"Doesn't that feel nice?" May asked him, speaking in an oddly sincere way as she looked down at him with those shockingly deep, pink eyes, Dib staring up at her. "Yeah, you're totally at my mercy, but is that such a bad thing? Look how good it feels. Being completely in someone else's power, utterly dominated by them not through cruelty or visciousness, but tenderness and playfulness..." She smiled. "Think how good it would feel to spend every night just...resting on my chest, all warm and snug. Or maybe tucked away inside me or my beloved, cozy and safe."
She tenderly patted him on the head with astonishing gentleness, then lifted him up, and leaned back, setting him on her bare belly, right on top of her belly button. It was of a softer texture than the rest of her skin, and he felt his cheeks blush more as she smiled warmly at his face, tilting her head to the side. "It can be scary, but it can also be...comforting. Like being in the arms of a trainer that's helping you climb a very tall mountain. All around you is danger, but in their grasp, there's immeasurable safety and comfort, a sense of knowing "...I trust them to help me, and keep me safe". And that rock you hold onto, in the middle of everything...that makes all anxiousness and fear you have just melt away. You trust them that much."
"And you trust Senior that much?" Dib quietly asked as she chuckled a bit.
"Of course, silly Dib! Absolutely!" She sighed though, and leaned her head back, looking up the ceiling. "But many of our kind don't...forgive easily. And don't trust him even though he's trying so hard to make up for what Irk did. Still...trust should be earned, however slow, and he's trying. And I know he's trying hard too to prove he's trustworthy to you. So I'll say this."
She sat up, gently plucking him up and back onto the bed, looking right into his face. "...don't break his trust, Dib. Don't." May Nar firmly intoned, getting out the shrink ray, and returning him to normal size, leaving him alone in the room as he nervously tugged at his neck before flopping onto the bed, and letting out a long, deep sigh, before thinking back to the samples he'd taken.
"...I should...go do the tests." He murmured, rising off his bed, and heading for the laboratory wing of the Massive where he'd left them. About ten minutes later, he was sitting down at a large desk, scanning over the solar radiation sample that Bob had provided, taking a peek at Irk's sun and what it could do as his eyes bulged wide behind his glasses. He compared the charts, first Earth, then Irk.
This was astounding. Irk's sun was indeed much, much different than Earth's. If his concerns about the atmosphere of Earth were right...he immediately got to work on THAT and the soil samples, as the clock on the wall idly ticked by, ignoring the aggravated gruntings of Red and Purple as they made their way down the hall, forced to sweep and mop a final time before they could head to bed. As the hours dragged on and Dib rubbed at his eyes, the results of the soil sample tests finally completed, and the atmospheric readout finished as well.
It was astounding. Dib almost dropped the readout on the spot, he was that stunned. Mouth agape, he read over the paper, eyes wide and alarmed as he moved to a spot in the wing where the couple of cameras within couldn't see, a "blind spot" to avoid being spotted and overheard.
"This is...incredible." He murmured inwardly. The sun of Irk was nothing compared to Earth's. Earth's was far, far stronger, and the water composition within the atmosphere was not just potentially damaging to Irkens, but fatal! The pollution of the planet was dulling the full effects not merely of the solar radiation from Earth's sun, but also from the natural H20 within the air of the planet!
Forget simply drying up like a raisin in the sun! If the conditions were right, Irkens would get boiled, dissolved, cooked alive if the air pollution in Earth's atmosphere was cleared away! He absolutely couldn't let Senior see this results. Looking about, he stuffed the readouts into his underwear, slightly waddling waddling down the hallway as he did so. UGH. The paper was cutting into his hips! But there was no way he was gonna just stick the thing in his pocket in case Senior popped up.
Well, Senior didn't, but Red and Purple did, on their way back to their rooms, looking tired, aggravated, and irritated as they looked up at Dib, scowling. "What're you waddling about for?" Red grunted.
Dib thought of a lie. "Um, I-Irken cooking doesn't...fully agree with me." He lied, Red snorted at this as Purple began to laugh, the two heading off down the hall.
"HA! Victory for Irk!" Red proclaimed, punching his fists in the air. "We'll take what we can get! First your planet! Then your underwear! Who knows what tomorrow will bring?" He sniggered.
Dib grumbled darkly, sliding into his room and making sure it was locked as he looked around the room. The bathroom. He slid inside, grateful there were no video cameras here. He was fairly sure there wasn't any in his room, but best not to take any chance. He took out the readouts from his pants, and then carefully began folding them up. Now he could hide them more safely and out of sight, sliding them into a bottle of his "Flintstone Vitamins" from a nearby medicine cupboard, putting it back inside as he sighed in relief. Phew. Now to just get back to Earth...
But first thing's first. He'd have to fake some results. Make it look as though there wouldn't be any harm in making the adjustments to Earth's atmosphere. If the Irkens found out their anti-pollution efforts would only serve to kill them, they'd never go through with it!
He was so close. He couldn't let himself feel guilty. He had to do this. He HAD to. His planet needed to be freed. So, letting out a bit of a yawn, he trudged back to the laboratory wing to get to work, even though May and her family's heartbroken faces sometimes swam in front of his vision. He tried not to think about them. He really did. And he tried not to think about how...nice and warm and soft May's chest had been.
He wasn't doing a very good job.