"This is...very illuminating."
Faith and the other scientists at the laboratory of Membrane Labs nodded up at the professor, Prof. Membrane gazing down in awe at what his son had learned. All of the data about Irk, about the Earth's atmosphere and the varying differences between the two planets, the WEAKNESSES that they could all exploit...Dib's father had a new emotion in his voice that Dib had rarely ever heard.
Pride. Absolute pride in his son. His eyes were beaming behind his goggles, his voice almost giddy with joy, Dib beaming in delight. They were currently looping the camera footage for the room to buy them some time to discuss everything Dib had gotten from the samples on Irk, and Matthew Membrane turned to his son, almost choked up with emotion. "I...I can scarcely believe what I'm holding. This is just what we need."
"So we should continue our work on fixing the Earth's atmosphere, of course." Faith reasoned. "With our sun and rain barreling down on the Irkens, they'll be helpless! They can bathe in glue all they want, it won't be enough to stop all this!" She remarked before sighing a bit, glancing over at the wall over her desk, at the M.I.T diploma she'd gotten. Her brand, shiny new diploma.
"Oh. You finished your college program while I was gone?" Dib asked, seeing Faith's slightly disturbed, worried face.
"Trik was really proud of me. He had it framed and everything, and took me out to dinner. It was like having my dad back for a while." She muttered quietly, her head hanging low, soft black hair tied into some pigtails, deep brown eyes closed. "It was...nice." She mumbled.
"Look, we gotta stay focused." Gaz insisted. "And you're all missing something. What about the Irkens on their ships? And on Irk? Say you fix the atmosphere. They'll realize what you did and they'll nuke us from orbit."
"I never, ever thought I would say this, but Gaz is absolutely right. We need to deal with the fleet, and then with the capital." Dib reasoned, putting a hand on Faith's shoulder, making her raise her head up. "We should work on a virus to infest their ship's computer systems. I've been on the Massive long enough, if I could spend some more time getting to know its systems..."
"Let ME do that." Gaz spoke up with a bit of a smirk. "I've been telling Tak that their ship designs aren't good enough and I've been going over ideas on how they could improve."
"It involves transforming into giant robots, doesn't it?"
"Let's be honest, Dib. You dig giant robots. I dig giant robots. WE dig giant robots. And chicks dig giant robots." Gaz wisely intoned, everyone nodding in agreement. It was true. Giant robots were wonderful. There was no debating this.
"Okay, you can get to know their ship schematics. Faith, you and my dad and everyone else here can keep working on the atmospheric front, and I'll think of a way to deal with Irk. And I think I know how. We'll call on Irk's former enemies, have THEM handle Irk. I mean, WE don't have spaceships to sail all the way there, but I'm sure planets like Vort would!" Dib reasoned. He flinched inwardly, thinking of May's accusing stare, but Lard Nar, the Resisty and others might be a bit more open to it.
Then again, Lard Nar clearly respected Senior now. Maybe Dib should offer Senior's safety. He'd ask when he saw him, and he knew just how to get in touch with him...having May contact him!
"Alright, everyone knows what they need to do." Dib reasoned. "We've been in here for almost ten minutes, I don't think we should stay here anymore. They'll probably guess we're up to something, so let's get going."
"I'll unloop the footage. Everyone, get back in place!" Faith insisted, everyone else nodding as Dib and Gaz headed out the door, off for the Membrane Laboratory mess hall, where Senior was looking out the window, at the gently falling snow. He smiled a bit, turning from the large, white, fluffy hills and ground around the laboratory and the city, and over to the cafeteria. Various Irkens were chuckling, having made up entire hills of powdered sugar and the like, tiny little humans playing in it, sliding down it on little sleds.
In fact, the entire CAFETERIA was done up in holiday style. Jingle bells upon the doors, mistletoe hung tenderly in just the right places, wreaths on the walls, and, of course, the Christmas music. Or rather, in this case, the Christmas PARODY music that was making Senior giggle as a new verse began to play.
"They wanna wish me a sober Christmas! That's why they always pull me over, Christmas! They say they're just making sure that there's no open bottles...in my caaaaar! They wanna wish me a sober Christmas! That's why they always pull me over, Christmas! They say they're just making sure that there's no open bottles...in my caaaaar!" Senior sang out, to the tune of "Feliz Navidad", head bouncing back and forth as Gaz blinked a bit at this, Dib snorting. It was just so ridiculous. "Police lock me up! Police lock me up! Police lock me up! Cuz when I blew, I blew a ten point one!"
"I've never even HEARD this parody song before."
"You don't know what you've been missing." Senior insisted, leading Gaz and Dib over to his table, smiling warmly. "I just love the Christmas spirit, but I'm not the only one, as you can tell. Skoodge has also really gotten into it. He said he had a little surprise he wanted us to see, so I thought it'd be good of us to drop in on him at Zim's old house later, after breakfast. He said he had some presents to give you two. Sound good?"
"Free presents. Why not?" Gaz said with a shrug, Dib scratching his head as Senior opened up the box of donuts he'd gotten for all of them to enjoy, cracking open a bottle of Root Beer. Presents? What could Skoodge have for them?
As it turned out...something very unusual indeed. Approaching the little green house with a very pointed top, they opened up the front door, seeing the adorable little blue-eyed robot that was GIR smiling warmly at them, as a little floating moose plushie hovered overhead. Standing in the middle of the room, a large Christmas tree loaded up with ornaments like glass balls, tinsel and little stars to his right...was Skoodge. He was grinning cheerily, wearing a cute little Santa costume of typical red and white, albeit without a beard, and...
In his hands was a small little statue. A sculpture, an ICE sculpture, finely carved, looking just like Dib. Dib reached out, taking the sculpture atop the little blue stand as Skoodge nodded over at GIR, who headed into the kitchen, getting out an ice sculpture of GAZ too. The little robot servants of Zim had been having a good time living with the tubby Invader. Minimoose too. His art was more...cerebral.
How did he make art with no hands? Don't ask.
The humans took Skoodge's art in their own hands, Dib's mouth slightly agape as Gaz raised an eyebrow up. "You...got us ice sculptures?" She asked, sounding rather confused.
"I MADE them!" Skoodge said with a beaming smile, his cheeks flushed. "Now that I don't have to worry about impressing the Tallest or helping Zim with his remarkably stupid plans-"
"HEY!" Zim's tiny frame yelled out from the capsule he was stuck in on Senior's belt, glowering angrily.
"...I could focus on my hobbies!" Skoodge explained with a nod, Dib looking down at the ornate detail of the sculpture. The hair was well-carved, curved in that scythe-like fashion just like his own was, his glasses had been expertly added on in addition, Skoodge had taken the time to hand-carve glasses to put on top of his little Dib sculpture, and Dib tenderly lifted the glasses off, looking them over, his mouth agape in awe before putting them back on his ice sculpture's tiny ears. It was pristine, cool, and pretty. "Do you...like it?" Skoodge asked.
"How come you do ice sculptures?" Gaz said. She was clearly torn between wanting something more meaningful, and being touched that someone had made her her own statue. Her expression was hard to fully read. Skoodge rubbed the back of his head, nervously chuckling.
"Well, I could get the computer or a machine to do it, but I do all my ice sculpting in the basement. It's freezing and everything and it's long, hard work, but...its worth it. I sometimes get all stingy and buzzing cuz I forget to bathe in paste I'm down there for so long and all the ice is misting around, but..." He hesitated, trying to find the words. "It feels more personal." He said, leading them towards the basement door, descending down into the steps.
Sure enough, there were huge blocks of ice lining up and down the walls, the air all cold and bitter as Skoodge handed them some sweaters from off a nearby closet door. They put it on as he led them towards a block of ice on a table, and they saw he was in the middle of carving a GRETCHEN sculpture, and almost done. All her hair, her little freckles, all of it was finely carved, a little tiny pick, some knives and other cutting tools all on the table. Skoodge picked a knife up, shaving off a bit of ice to begin slimming down the Gretchen sculpture's legs, his tongue slightly out of his mouth.
"It's careful, calm work." He murmured, his eyes deeply, intensely gazing at the sculpture. "You need to really, really focus. It isn't for the impatient, but...when you're finished, it's...it's amazing. It's beautiful, and impermanent, and it can have so much DETAIL put into it. And the more I put into it, the more clear it becomes I put a lot of heart and effort into it. You can see the work I've done, and know how long it took me to do it. And it makes every little statue special." Skoodge whispered. "Special and unique. Smooth and cool and dazzling, and when it catches the light, its like it...glows." He murmured out. "And there was nothing like this on Irk, nothing. We have NO art, haven't for centuries and centuries! And now, I feel...almost spoiled!"
He sighed in delight, wiping his brow, his breath misting the air as he beamed. "I get to enjoy plays, and musicals and movies all day if I want. When you don't have to worry about your job, when you're not in fear for your life, when you can RELAX, that's when people truly create. After all, when your race didn't have to worry about tigers and bears and all constantly eating you, you could work on making real technology, after all...and now we Irkens are doing the same!" he turned to Dib with a big grin. "I can't wait to see the things other Irkens come up with now that they don't need to constantly worry about hiding away from other aliens, always looking over their shoulders, afraid their disguise will be seen through..."
"BAH!" Zim snorted, rolling his eyes. "You've all gone softy and squishy, like the filthy humans!"
"Would you feel better if I told you I made you an ice sculpture?" Skoodge added cheerily, Zim now staring up at him in sheer shock.
"...really?" He asked quietly, eyes going wide as Skoodge unveiled a small little sculpture that was under a tiny cloth on the table. Well, it was Zim alright. Big mouth wide open, yelling angrily, fists clenched in fury, full of sound, signifying nothing. But ZIM looked positively rapturous. "It's so beeaaauuutiful." he whispered. "The passion in my eyes! The mighty roar my mouth is expunging! Every muscle clenched in deep rage! I look like a true warrior!"
"I just pictured you yelling at Dib for inspiration. There's a lot of home videos Minimoose took of you doing that." Skoodge admitted.
"Has Minimoose been recording EVERYTHING Zim did?" Senior found himself asking as Skoodge chuckled a bit.
"Yes, Zim insisted Minimoose record him doing everything so as to constantly improve himself."
"From constant study of myself, I could learn how to be even MORE perfect." Zim reasoned, putting a hand on his chest.
"Okay, but...why is a good third of the camera footage you in the shower?" Skoodge asked, tilting his head a bit as Zim now turned pale.
"Wh-what? YOU'RE LYING!" Zim squeaked out, eyes wide with fear as Gaz grinned evilly.
"Could we see that footage?" She inquired with a dark grin. "Better still, could we edit all that footage together and upload it online with yours truly providing hilarious commentary?"
But before they could get a chance to do that, Senior's communicator wrang, the air being split by-
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphone!
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphooooone!
Everyone looked at Senior, who slightly blushed as he lifted his communiator up. "Hello?"
"I hate to give you THIS sort of Christmas present, but you remember that Australian resistance movement you checked in on not too long ago?" Darth inquired nervously on the small video screen Senior now stared at. His white eyes were filled with anxiety as he bit his lip slightly. "Well, the situation has worsened. There's been a hospital bombing."
"WHAT." Senior's eyes bulged wide, his green pupils expanding rapidly. "Where?!"
"The Royal Melbourne Hospital. It's...bad." Darth's balled antannae hung very low. "We can't just teleport everyone out either, we need to get heavy duty ships there and the humans managed to snag themselves a size changing ray. They've grown their own troops to huge sizes and they ripped apart any ships we sent in, and our ground troops are terrified to go in so close. We need to get a small team in."
"Has Tak prepared one?"
"She has a plan. She's sending in small waves and using cloaked fighters. We're going to be healing up the wounded and escorting them, when fit enough for transport, to the fighters for withdrawal."
"We can help!" Dib said quickly. "Gaz wanted to talk to Tak anyway about ship weaknesses and ways to improve the fleet, and I can help patch people up. I had to patch myself up plenty of times."
Senior looked at him and Gaz, Gaz seemingly quite eager to get close to the front lines, a look of deep interest and excitement building on her face, Dib looking resolute and firm. "I could just shrink you and forcibly keep you away." Senior told them quietly. "If I wanted to. But..." He hesitated. "In all honesty, I want you to be there. There's not going to be many humans from our side there at the hospital. Having some friendly faces for the patients, especially YOUNG faces, might do them some psychological good. It'd be a way for those down there to know we're not as bad as they've been told." he reasoned. "Australia's been VERY problematic for us...I hoped it wouldn't get this bad, but..."
He sighed, then nodded. "Alright. Darth, tell Tak to have a cloak fielded Voot Runner pick Dib and Gaz up right outside Zim's house."
"We'll have Jayd go with them." Darth said with a firm nod. "He also volunteered to go, I'm sure he'd love the company. He's just left the hospital right now, he can come by Zim's house in an hour."
Senior nodded, turning to Dib and Gaz. "Sorry you'll be spending the first week of Christmas vacation patching up wounds and sewing stitches." he admitted.
Gaz just smirked. "Oh, please. I can handle a little blood. I'm not afraid."
...
...
...
...Jayd leaned back in the modified Voot Runner, his spiky antannae hanging low over his head as he handed Dib his present. "Here. Merry Christmas!" He offered, Dib looking over the little package Jayd had given to him, another being given to Gaz as the blur of the clouds outside in the sky drifted by his head. "Do you like it?" He asked.
Dib tore the packaging open, looking over it. It was a small gift card for twenty bucks to "Amazon". "You didn't have to get us anything." Dib remarked, raising an eyebrow up to look at Jayd who chuckled warmly back, his black eyes having their usual warmth. It would only take an hour to get to Australia's shores, then Jayd would take over from the autopilot to land in secret, away from prying human eyes.
"It's Christmas, and I love getting people things. Besides, I've got a good salary, I can afford to." Jayd reasoned. "There'll always be a need to patch people up." He added with a sage nod. "And I don't know how long I'll be here on Earth for. Once this assignment here is over, I'll probably be moved to our new colony. We're going to work on some terraforming efforts with the newest generation of Irken smeets, teaching them to farm the land and how to make their own shelters, sort of starting from scratch. And, best of all, no PAKs to make into an easy target."
"If nature wanted you to get back to it, it wouldn't put so many things inside it that can kill you." Gaz sagely intoned, already using her smart phone to cash in the gift card, eager to order an online case of high energy drinks to be sent to their house.
"True, true." Jayd reasoned sagely. "Which is why we've also set up heavy defensive measures on said colony. We want to make sure nobody can find us, the place is as off-the-grid as it gets, I don't even know the name of the planetoid."
Dib nodded and looked at Jayd's eyes. He was reminded, briefly, of when he was a bit younger and had read the "Harry Potter" series. Jayd had eyes like that of Hagrid's, black and big, and scary at first until you really stared into them, and saw the warmth that twinkled out. "I wanted to ask...why didn't Tak just decide to, y'know, bomb the place from orbit?"
"We're trying to AVOID massive casualities." Jayd insisted firmly. "Besides, Tak is positively disgusted with such ideas. She spent years on the planet Dirt pissed off at the Tallest for not treating her loyalty with the respect and consideration it deserved. Red and Purple didn't care about their troops. Tak doesn't want to be like them. At all. So she's not going to go for a plan that involves any kind of friendly fire. Now, once we've escorted all the patients out and all our men out, then she'll feel free to let loose and let the human rebels know what happens when we decide not to hold back."
Jayd sighed and steepled his gauntleted hands, closing his eyes as Dib nervously bit his lip. "Um...Jayd, about the nanogenes in your gauntlets. The ones that run through your PAK and all that. Did it...hurt?" He wanted to know, pointing at the tubes that were attached to Jayd's gauntlets, running from his PAK to his hands. "When they-"
"Yes." Jayd softly murmured. "It did. Not everyone has the type of PAK type to handle the maintenance of nanogenes. Only medical models, and only very strong willed Irkens who can control the nanogene flow. It takes a LOT of willpower to make them do what I want. But now I can use them as easily as if they were my own hands and feet. And of course...the tingle. Everyone likes the tingle." He added, wiggling his clawed digits in the air and chuckling a bit. "Want me to put on some Christmas-"
"Not Christmas music!" Gaz insisted firmly. "We've been hearing that with Senior for days now! Something, ANYTHING other than Christmas music!"
"...okay!" Jayd said, tapping the console. With a few beeps, a new type of tune came on.
"If my boddyyyy! Was broken opeeeeeen! And you could look insiiiiiiiide!"
Gaz grinned in delight. "Alriiiight! "Autopsy"!
"UGH. Death metal." Dib moaned. Worse still, very on-the-nose death metal, with lyrics like "Would there be any sign of life, or would you only find death" from the singer describing what would happen if you looked inside his body. And stuff like "Can the human body still give you glory even in death". Well. It could have been worse. Jayd could have put on "The Crash Test Dummies" or "It's the End of the World As We Know It" or-
"That was "Heavy Metal Hour", and now, ladies and gentlemen, let's move on to our "Classics of Fine Music", our two hour relaxation time for all you stressed folks out there. Beginning with "The Gravedigger", by Schubert."
"OH, C'MOONNNN!"
About an hour later, they'd arrived, touching down on the edge of Melbourne. Smoke was wafting up from huge chunks of the city, the skies cloudy and overcast, a disgustingly humid, rotten stench wafting through the air. Gaz, Jayd and Dib exited from the cloaked Voot, making their way through the wrecked and ravaged streets. Big chunks of road had been ripped up, as if literally torn out of the ground, large pieces of skyscrapers and buildings littered their way towards the hospital, and worse still was the blood.
There was a lot of blood. Ugly, foul, rotten, stains that lingered on the roads. Horrible patches of foul, sloughy, dark green blood that Dib recognized as Irken blood. And organs he recognized as Irken as well. Irkens had been smushed, smashed, slammed down into the road by what he knew was a pair of giant fists or by feet or chunks of road that laid nearby, hands severed from their owners, lying not too far from the body, shoulders and waists bisected, some crushed heads, the rest of the form untouched and lying flat, and...stuff. Ugly, foul, wet, rotten stuff that was just...lying in a pile attached to...
Dib didn't even want to think about it. He tried to ignore it, but the smell was making him pale. Gaz was looking quietly, dangerously at the horrific remnants of the dead as Jayd quietly sighed and shook his head. Then she whispered. "SHHH" and they all stopped. Her eyes had gone wide, and she turned to them all. "HIDE!" She whispered, her eyes going wide as she grabbed their hands, tugging them to the side, kicking open the door to a clothing store and hiding behind the counter.
And just in time, too. Because a moment later there came a loud, shuddering series of steps, smaller steps ringing through the air as Irken troops began running away. Dib could faintly see over the counter, they were racing away from the hospital, evidently their attempt to try and retake the thing had gone badly wrong. Senior had been right, their ground troops had good reason to be afraid.
"Hey, hey, let's see which of you get this one!" Announced a very loud, Australian voice as a big, booted foot stomped down on an Irken, his scream being silenced by a foul, wet, ugly PLA-PLORK as Dib ducked back down, covering his mouth to suppress a scream. The Australian now began to sing. "It's a brand new day, and the sun is high, all the birds are singing that you're gonna diiiiie!"
"How did you know?" Jayd quietly asked Gaz as she smiled grimly.
"I noticed something when you guys use the growing and shrinking tech. The air gets all...staticky. I felt it here and now, thought it'd be a smart idea to hide. Guess I was right." She muttered, as more horrific, terrified screams were being swiftly silenced by horrific, wet, foul crushing noises. "They're getting smushed like bugs out there."
"I'm sure you find it ironic..." Dib mumbled.
"Not really, it's not even a challenge." Gaz said, looking slightly offended. "If I'm going to kill someone, I want it to be a real, actual fight. This isn't even that. Besides, they've now killed my ability to enjoy Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." She added.
"How very inconsiderate. If only my species had forseen the tragedy our horrific, squishy deaths to the tune of Neil Patrick Harris showtunes would bring to you." A voice rang out as they looked up, seeing Tak was there in the back, gesturing for them to follow her. "How fortunate that we chose to hide in the same place. I was just on my way to see if you'd touched down. Now we need to wait 12 minutes. You can't stay that size for too long, human bodies aren't meant to be that tall, they get dizzy and sick and they crash over into the city. We found that out the first day they tried this. Allowed us to regroup and think up new attack plans." She said, swiftly slinking over to them, her face firm and resolute. "They can only stay that tall for 15 minutes. So...we wait."
Dib cringed a bit, Tak looking into his eyes. "Not a pretty sight out there, is it, Dibbun Membrane? I imagine you think we're getting what we deserve. Do you, pray tell, want to run out? Beg the humans for help? Hope they won't smush you as a possible collaborator?"
Dib said nothing. He just quietly looked away. "I'm...sorry, this must be...harder for you to see."
She grimly smiled. "Oh, I'm used to it by now, Dib. I'm used to it. And you'll get used to it too, soon enough..."