AN.

Wow, I did not realize how many words this arc would take. NOTES in the iPhone really doesn't tell you that type of things.

WARNING: A LOT OF LANGUAGE! (because I shamelessly based on of the new characters I'm introducing off of Hidan. Sue me)

Tadahisa and Tasashi, the twin headed rattle snake.

Tadashi, the left head was feisty while Tadahisa literally gave no fucks was on the right. Sadly, Tadashi was in charge of the rattle, which Tadashi abused much to my annoyance. It was love in first sight for me because; wow they looked fearsome and majestic despite them being as big as my foot.

"What the fuck." Was the eloquent response to the situation when I first summoned them,

Tadashi was also a fucking potty mouth .

Of fucking course, people who can't watch their language fucking sickens me.

At least I keep my potty mouth under wraps

"Uh...hi." I began. Snakes were prideful creatures but I wasn't going to bow down to a fucking shoe lace. What image would that make to my original summon. Akinsouke fluttered around me. Tadahisa was seizing up the room silently whole Tadashi rattled and hissed, preparing to strike.

"We are Tadahisa and Tadashi." The feminine one introduced that day coolly, not sparing a gaze. "Please don't question why we share a body. Tadashi is sensitive about that."

"WHAT THE FUCK HISA?!"

Okay, she seems diplomatic. That was something. I don't know about left one, though.

"And you! What the fuck up is with that 'Hi?!' "The snake-feeling-dragon shoelace hissed out indignantly."What the hell, girl?! I was about to eat that juicy ass rat before you rudely fucking summoned me!" The shoelace with the loudest ass voice ripped through my apartment.

Okay, operation befriend my own kind shall commence.

Get it?

Because I'm a snake?

"Yeah, about that-"

"And what the hell?! Are you a crazed cat lady or something?! Room literally smells like fucking shit!"

"Uh, Sora-ku-"

"And why are you flat and fat?!"

I can deal with this. I dealt with Obito and children all the time. I have the patience for this.

"And what the hell is that haori?! It looks like it's been shitted!"

My eye twitched as I felt veins bulge around my eyes. It seems Operation become even more patient with loud dicks is a failure.

Operation establish dominance, however…

"Listen here, you shoe-lace, overgrown bald noodle!" I snarled to the snake. Tadashi recoiled in surprise while Tasahisa gave me a metaphoric raised eyebrow. "I didn't sign a contract that would associate me to a pedophile, gay; Sharingan obsessing that has a rope fetish snake-dick that has no life despite being immortal to deal with a childish excuse for a limp spring!"

They both remained silent, Tadashi's eyes narrowing at every insult and jab. "Now pay attention because I am not going to repeat myself. This hear, you colorblind, insensitive, sorry excuse for ramen broth. This here? It's Khaki! KHA-Ki. I haven't endured running around the whole dam village, be resurrected in this worthless world to argue about my fashion sense with a spring I could literally STEP ON!"

"...wow." Tadashi blinked. He narrowed his eyes. "You're fucking insane."

I seethed.

"That was fucking hot."

I blinked, anger being replaced with shock and disgust.

This aglet is hitting on me?

"What."

"So, waddaya say, Hisa. Personal summon?"

The female head shrugged. "Eh."

They both smirked. "Welp, crazy bitch. You got yourself in this mess. I didn't understand half of your rant, that's Hisa's job but hey, I like your spunk." He rattled twice. "Go call us when there's going to be blood or something."

With a poof, they were gone, leaving me sweaty and confused.

I stood up and left my apartment.

I need air, water and sanity.

Two months.

Not one.

But Two,

Two months of snake taijutsu, the chakra inside the goggles injecting, working in the dark, manual labor and fucking YOGA and this bitch (?) has the audacity to say. "Eh, I think you need another month since Taizo needs one (cue apologetic shrug from the eleven year old). You know what to do, Eiji. "He said after my first term, rolling a giant scroll as if to tease me. I wrote the report to the Hokage, expecting him to fight for my rights only for this other bitch to send me a scroll, saying the same damn thing except for a boost in a rank and another zero.

Like, yes, give me the money but please I'm pretty sure there are other jobs I can do! What the hell are they keeping me from? ROOT?! Well to bad, Hiruzen, they already gave me a personalized message that they do not fuck around. I'm sure we can win a war without me carrying cardboard boxes like every single day of the week.

"Ah, so you're staying, Tokinya-chan?" Ebisu greeted me, taking my load with his deceptively diminutive stature. I swear if I don't get abs out of this I'll throw the biggest hissy fit Sora-ku has ever seen. He adjusted his chef's hat with his tail and gave me a squinty eyed smile which i returned after wiping sweat off my forehead. I adjusted the 'Truth' forehead protector lying on my neck to get more air in.

"Nekomata-san wants me to stay for another month. He says I have to stay." I told the cat who I've been stealing chicken from and sitting down in one of his restaurant's seats. When I finally got caught, he was just impressed of my skills. Most ninjas use big, loud and obnoxious ninjutsus to win a battle, forgetting that stealth and quickness was just as important as blowing shit up. I agreed whole heartedly. He began actually feeding me food (which was not actually fishie-bits. So I was racist at first? Who isn't really on their first time meeting another race or the first time and thinking "Wow they look weird,"?

He gave me a seafood platter, green tea and chopsticks. He sat down in front of me with his own, giving the spatula to another disheveled cat standing on his limbs muttering something along the lines of I'm taking a break. "You know, for a human, you're not so bad, Tokinya-chan." He informed as I chewed my fish. I swallowed my food. "Where did you get that idea from, Ebisu-san?"

"You're not loud, obnoxious or a show-off. You'd make a fine Ninneko if you were a cat despite not smelling one." I took his praise with a grain of salt because I still do not like the majority of the cats here. It would be rude to deny it so I muttered "thanks, Ebisu-san". Honestly, if he ever saw my legit personality, he wouldn't even think twice of insulting all my ancestors to the 9th degree.

But I didn't tell him that. That would be rude and awkward and would ban me from the only stall that doesn't sell fish or cat food.

"Why don't you stay?" He asked pleasantly as he chewed his shrimp.

I was about to laugh it off before I thought about it. Why don't I stay? I mean, there's no war amongst the cats. My parents might be dead for all I know. Hyūga is such a shit clan. My relationship with Rin and Obito isn't the same when I graduated early as before despite our efforts into keeping our bonds. Honestly, little manual labor isn't something to kill myself over. The fact that I need to kill OTHER people for a living makes me want to kill myself though.

"You know what, Ebisu-san, maybe I should." When you really thought about it, Konoha really won't offer anything to me that I really want which is a good life, ROOT already proving that. I already have a somewhat nice one here in Sora-ku. I have a friend to give me food, I have something to do to not keep me bored and the black market here has an interesting array of books. I made my apartment all spiffy as the hot water supply here is adequate enough. The cats here offer great diversity with a wide array of topics and Sora-ku is generally big place.

"Oh wait." I remembered one important detail. Ebisu perked up.

"What is it?"

"If I stay here permanently, Konoha will no doubt file me for treason, haul me back and either execute or imprison me." I realized dejectedly out loud. And with the war going on, painful execution is highly likely because I was officially listed as a resource and not a ninja-to-be. The painful execution was the turn off for me. Oh, and ROOT. Don't forget about ROOT.

"Ah, right. Your village is really bad, Tokinya-chan." He assessed Konoha which was perpetually covered in blood and tragedy since a certain blonde wasn't born yet. The same blood and tragedy I've seen through games, anime and paper and quickly decided that I do not want to be a part of that. Call me an asshole for self-preservation and I'll take it like you called me Miss Universe.

I sighed in agreement. "Any advice for me Ebisu-san? The Hokage really wants me back now. They're probably low on people who could fix houses or something."

He shook his head in disapproval. "Making kittens do a cat's job; how despicable."

Indeed.

"Just work on what you're doing right now. Eiji-san and I are close friends. He's been telling all about your training, so let me tell something about snakes..."

I continued eating, listening to the retired Ninnken for his advice in the manipulation of Snakes and my body. Of course, with all this snake taijutsu training and Byakugan mutating, you'd think I'd lose my roots. But no, I've been trying to get better with my chakra control and genjutsu when I'm bored as well as trying for 16 palms which I am not succeeding at.

Mostly genjutsu, though. I have a FAR way to master Mangeykō Illusion: World of Butterflies but that doesn't mean I couldn't learn other genjutsu. I mean, I can make anything out of everything with illusion and butterflies. So being an anime and music fan with a healthy obsession with a certain group of Magical Girls, I couldn't help base a genjutsu out of one of their labyrinths.

My apartment melted away to a dark room with velvet carpeting as per memory. Okay, the orchestra can be there, there Witch can be over there, oh and music. There needs to be music. Music is literally the highlight of this genjutsu. It's what made me fall in love with this one instead of my close favorite Elsa Maria. Ah, memories.

You know what's weird? Why couldn't there be MP-3 players in this era? All it would need was a genjutsu user and maybe a few special seals here and there but it wouldnt be as hard as-

Oh shit.

I dropped the genjutsu and made another one, this time, only with sound.

"Ooooh, I do, I do, I do, I do~"

Holy shit.

"Oooh, I do, I do, I do, I doo~"

Fuck. Yes.

"Helpless~"

"Well, whelp. Took you a month and a half but I can safely say you graduate from ineptness to greatness." The cheesy snake smirked. "Congra-fucking-lations."

I smiled at the sarcastic shoelace. "Thanks, I guess?"

"Hisa, you know what to do." Tadoshi told his sister. The silent half nodded.

"Now, this will be difficult as I cannot demonstrate but you will be learning the basic yet most important jutsu. Hidden Shadow Snake Hands can be used in conjunction with your Snake Style taijutsu to turn jabs into poisonous whips." The other half began the lesson.

Well at least I'm learning how to defend myself against ROOT while waiting for Taizo.

I summoned one pathetic looking worm of a snake from my sleeve. Tadashi snickered as the cutie-pie slithered around my finger "You aren't so bad..." I coo'd before it bit my finger.

"That was a baby viper. They are venomous," Tadahisa informed me.

...fuck.

Oh wait.

Resistance to poisons and venoms,

I'll be fine.

OOO

I blinked at the mirror, my dōjutsu finally mutated from all the chakra the weird goggles have been feeding it. My vision got clearer was the veins bulged around my eyes. When I expected normal enflames pupils, I for light lavender slit to expand when it gets brighter or darker. So this is the mutation that weird ass chakra gives. What if I put those goggles in somebody else's eyes? Like, low-key disguising it to replace Obito's?

Well, I wasn't Orochimaru. I am not doing that experimentation BS he seems to get hard to. I already had his snakes anyway.

I put on my haori and got my supplies (mostly just first aid and senbons) from Nekobaa. She greeted me happily and wished me good luck. I smiled despite not knowing what the fuck Nekomata wanted me to do with Tenzo. It's the end of spring so this should be the first Sakura Viewing Festival I'll ever miss in my entire life. Eh, I only went there for the delicious chocolate Taiyaki from that one stand that I swear used chocolate hazelnut even though I'm sure hazelnut did not exist in this world. I greeted the guard cats who returned it with no hostility whatsoever and went inside Nekomata's room as I quickly tied my hair into a two tailed bun with a senbon.

Eiji was already next to him, the little snake (hah) which was next to Taizo and his mentor. I gave him a smile as he waved. The giant white monster cat blinked up at me with his yellow blue eyes that did not go well with his rough and battle-scarred appearance. He had a scroll underneath his paw which I couldn't help but eye.

"Hmmm..." He narrowed his eyes at Taizo and with a nod from Eiji, he straightened his paw.

"I think you need another month."

"What." He blanched at the audacious cat who was licking it's a paw like he just told him the weather and not that we might be filed for fraud and treason by my home town. I am slowly but surely missing the national anthem they blare out that one winter to instill morale and hope. Oh Konoha, I love thee Konoha, your mercy shine upon us and let her enemies know peace~

Nekomata raised a non-existent eyebrow as Eiji poofed out of the first sign of potential conflict.

I'm pretty sure that we can take him, despite being a monster cat. Maybe if Taizo could possess him while I wrap him with snakes or maybe I could distract him with a genjutsu so Taizo can burn him alive. Going close to him to seal his chakra via my Jyūken would also be a good idea, with that size he doesn't really seem fast. My Byakugan told me that he had chunin-level quality chakra with jonin chakra reserves anyway.

I felt a cold sweat creep up but clenched my fist. Momma didn't raise no bitch. Especially if the bitch probably won't survive a whole village filled with magic ninja voodoo bullshit. I masked my eye twitch and quickly summoned a modestly big viper on my right and sleeve fill of butterflies on my left without so much as sound.

Woah,

Multiple summons at the same time,

I did not expect the headache.

Let's just get this over with.

"Tokina-san?" Taizo blinked at me, sensing the hostility.

Nekomata narrowed its eyes before drawing the summoning bells. With my newly fully mutated Byakugan, the dark wasn't so dark anymore. I threw the snake like a Bola, much to the cat's surprise. It bit it as he trashed wildly, making the bell fall harmlessly to Taizo who crushed it. He jumped next to me.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He doubted as he summoned cool looking chakra claws.

"For the most part, yeah." I blinked at his blue sharp pointy things. "Nice claws." I whistled.

He smirked. "Nice snakes."

"How dare you!" The monster cat hissed as it rolled the scroll in the end of the room. I bit my finger and used my right index to put a speck of blood in my butterfly seal. My body instantly felt lighter as blue and purple monarchs fluttered out of my sleeves. Incapacitate with genjutsu before taking the scroll sounded like a sound plan since he was resisting viper venom.

The cat ran to me in speeds that shouldn't even be possible for his size. Mission parameters say that I just needed to tie him to Konoha, right? I'm sure I can blackmail the dick or force him to.

I felt a large claw graze my haori.

"Ah, crap." I muttered as I stumbled into a roll and threw three senbon which he deflected with his chakra enhanced claws with a smug grin. Fast. So fast.

Shit I messed up.

Taizo pounced, scratching Nekomata and firing the occasional fireball. His claws cut through the thick fur with ease. Bitch was probably regretting two months of training, huh.

The butterflies around me fluttered closer and closer to the Nekomata. He clawed the kaleidoscope and with one swipe they scattered. Well, he knew that monarchs weren't so innocent anymore. The monster will probably stab me in my fifth hand seal so genjutsu via butterflies and Gentle Fist was too risky with Taizo for Short to Mid combat.

So, with giddiness, I did my first offensive Ninjutsu on my belt.

"Hidden Shadow Snake Hands." I muttered while three vipers of the same species, size and color shot through my oversized sleeves. Taizo side stepped the deadly reptile as it hissed through the air. Holy shit; why didn't I sign this contract before?! This was fucking awesome! I don't have to spam Vacuum Palm or give him a heart attack genjutsu and hope for the best now! My first lethal jutsu that doesn't involve going close to a dick!

"Go my lovelies!" I cheered and summoned three more on my left hand, letting them bite and overwhelm the cat. The Yamanaka gave me a very unique look. I was probably smiling like I was insane to. Well who wouldn't?! Command over fucking snakes! How cool was that!

The furry giant hissed at the hissing reptiles and scratched them into pieces. My babies! The snakes with heads retracted back to my sleeves and u summoned themselves

"You overstep humans." The monster seemed to take us seriously now. Well, I snakes and genjutsu butterflies and Tenzo had gleaming claws sharper than a Wind Release powered shuriken. Who wouldn't be a little intimidated?

I scrunched my face. "Ew, sardine breath," I complained despite being used to the smell myself and the slight intimidation I felt. Having Orochimaru as your mentor developed a…resistance to killing intent since he poured all of his in the bucket loads when I did my legendary Step-on-foot no jutsu. I was friends with cats and a cat lady. The smell of fish and fur left you desensitized. I flexed my hands, readying another barrage over deadly shoelaces

"Heh, I have to deal that every day." He scoffed as he locked an index finger with my pinky.

"Plan?"

I straightened. Oh right, Yamanaka. Forgot,

"I'll restrain. You subdue." I thought awkwardly, not knowing if he was going to hear it or not.

He nodded.

"Silence!"

With a swift slash fast enough for the cat to not react but tense from Taizo, the cat growled at the blood on his fir from the sharp wind. Meanwhile, I did another HSSH jutsu, three vipers poisoning and restraining him. The ravaged his arm before retracting back to my sleeve. They were summons but they were my summons. I don't want them headless.

The cat now seeing us as a threat pounced. I back flipped out of the way, the butterfly seal making me faster. I threw senbons and the occasional snake and Vacuum Palm as Tenzo I made long ranged precision cuts and stabs, the wind whistling as sharp gusts to cut the bitch. The monster howled as cuts and scratched seemed to form out of nowhere, his reflexes slowing from blood-loss, poison and a few other thins for a while as his white fur slowly bled into a red.

I took to the walls, snakes coiled around my arms, throwing senbon while Taizo continued hacking and slashing. The Nekomata howled as he began returning the onslaught with...

Fleas?

Disgusting.

Taizo swiped his knees when I dropped to the ground, the cat barely dodging the sharp winds. I need to disable him though. My Byakugan told me that a large kaleidoscope of butterflies began forming where his throne was. Thank You, independent Akinosuke! Well, if that didn't scream trap, I don't know what did.

"Taizo!" I called to my Yamanaka Partner. He jumped back and blinked up at me, focusing his gaze on what I was looking at.

"Okay."

Manipulating his movements, He directed my slashes to move him back to his throne while I threatened him with more snake and senbon while I low key prepared the trip-trap. He tripped from the ninja wire with a grunt as I threw a harmless senbon that pierced his gut and the butterflies began encasing him, absorbing his chakra and trapping him in a genjutsu.

I canceled my jutsu with heavy breathing as the cat began hissing. Taizo, who was running around and keeping him busy with his claws, looked equally winded.

"Oh my god, we beat the leader of the cats without Sharingan hax." I muttered in disbelief. In age fucking five and a half. Taizo smirked, confident that he did not hear my spoilers, which I returned. Said cat growled, breaking out of the genjutsu but too weak to stand thanks to the hundreds of chakra absorbing insects drinking him up like a soda.

"Fine! You win! Just get these butterflies off me." I stopped at the pure desperation in his tone. You know, before shrugging and unrolling the damn thing like the asshole I was, ignoring his sad please and whines. You're the leader of a proud organization! Show some dignity! You're making me want to throw away my forehead protector which I am not wearing that said "Truth", gurl. That's how shameful you are right now. I released the cat that immediately began licking his wounds all the while saying shit like "my poor fur."

"Ugh. Finally," Taizo muttered and stretched and got the scroll. "I'll sign it later. For now, we need to get back to Konoha."

I nodded. Need was an understatement.

"Very well. Collect your payment at the reception desk. Good job." The Hokage praised the Hyūga girl standing before him. He needed the Ninneko to accept his deal and use their supplies hut he didn't expect the Nekomata to willingly help in their war time efforts. He was happy for a moment before the girl dropped this piece of information after appearing after two months. She nodded and with a smile, left.

When she did, he couldn't repress the frown.

He'd been keeping her away from Konoha to avoid her from Danzō's grasps. The Yamanaka Clan complained to him about they're lost child named Santa who allegedly became one of Danzō's which Inoichi did not like one bit.

With the war, Hiruzen couldn't afford a dispute with one of the clan that had the best skills and resources for information gathering nor arouse suspicion with his friend he's beginning to doubt with his intentions. He was always an…extremist to Konoha, wanting the Hokage position himself.

Hiruzen didn't ask for it, and if it wasn't for his love for the village and his Sensei, the Second Hokage, then he would have gladly given it to his friend.

He sighed,

But alas, the shadow must remain in the shadows if this institution wants to work.

Hiashi pursed his lips in deep thought, clutching the letter tightly. Not just any letter, but a report. From one Hyūga Akane in their mission from Iwa. He read the detailed report of what they've seen in their time since it was her duty as a Branch Member. The weak infrastructure, the supply routes, training grounds, ninja profiles, overall it was a sign of mission success. But something went wrong, they were found out in the last months of their mission, Orochimaru saved them and relocated them to the closest village we had relations to: Kiri. The third Mizukage needed them out as they cannot risk being seen housing Konoha nin.

"It can't be..." He muttered when he read the next paragraph of the report.

"The Mizukage ordered us to leave immediately when we hadn't even started healing our wounds. A man named Ao stole Tomukaze's eye while he was still alive when he begged to be sheltered until we had successfully healed our wounds. The Yuki Clan agreed to help me escape but in one condition; they require permanent housing and be immigrated to Konoha and be given a full citizenship. We have found out that people with Kekkai Genkai is heavily frowned upon in Kirigakure."

"Hiashi sama," At this, he noticed the inked was blotted; a sign that the war hardened Akane was crying and desperation. The professionalism of the letter began melting away to an obvious plea for help. His heart clenched at the utter desperation his clan member is currently experiencing behind enemy lines.

"Please. I beg of you, I am currently pregnant with Tomukaze's second child. I do not want him to die nor do I want my first to be orphaned"

"Hiashi-sama...?" The branch member, Hyūga Seto asked uncertainly. A capable jonin, best friends with the man with the clearest eyes in all of Hyūga and his wife, the Cold Blooded One Eyed Beauty; he remembered the face of the girl who has exceeded his expectations, graduating from The Academy at the tender age of five with Sakumo's son Hatake Kakashi and was now being contemplated on to enter the Chunin exams as she was Orochimaru's first and currently only apprentice. How does he tell a man and child that his best friend and father was dead and had his eye stolen and that their other best friend and mother was pregnant and being Kekkai Genkai wielders that are might as well using her as a hostage.

Orochimaru...what was the Sannin doing in Iwa of all places? He was grateful for the snake-nin for saving his clan members but he was still suspicious.

He knew what he had to do but the complications of a new clan entering Konoha? He might need to take this matter up to the council.

But the problem was Danzō.

Rumors floated around that the Old War Hawk had been collecting children of all ages to join the cruel and taxing organization called ROOT. If Akane's daughter, Tokina the prodigy that inherited the clear and pure eyes of her father and her mother's chakra control, then she might be kidnapped. With the current rules of the Hyūga which he cannot change as well as Danzō being a rank higher than him, a Branch Member going missing won't be as demanded of a search party then a Main Member while he couldn't do a thing about it in a political aspect if he got his claws on her.

He wasn't as heartless as his father, who divided his twin and him because it was the ways of the Hyūga.

With newfound resolution, Hiashi quickly scribbled a missive for the with recommendation that this should be classed as an S-Rank secret to prevent war.

"Seto," He called to the man on his left. The light brown haired young Jonin tensed. "I need you to deliver missive and report to the Hokage and the Hokage only." The young clan leader ordered. He nodded, bowed and body flickered away.

"Akane-san, a letter!" One of the other seven Yuki clan members that protected her called out to the pregnant Hyūga. Akane glanced at them and thanked them from her seat in the dark cave they were holed up in the middle of nowhere.

"Thank you, Yato-kun." She took the letter from the grinning six year old with a pleasant smile in her lips and a hand to her bulging stomach lovingly, caressing the last remainder of her husband. Oh Tonokazu, of all the times you'd be a pain in my side, it had to be when you were gone. She blinked away the tears and opened the letter with extremely low expectations.

"What does it say...?" The nervous Yuko piped up from her seat as she hovered beside her distant relative. Her husband put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly as Yato ran up to them. It took a lot of convincing for her dense husband to finally learn that family is more important than a village filled with persecution. All she wanted as peace and quiet with her family and if Konoha can bring it to them, then so help her she will do whatever it takes to live a happy life she desperately wanted.

That is what she promised her beloved husband after all.

Akane silently read the first paragraph, then the next and the next before sighing in relief. "A team will come pick us up in a four days!" She announced as her small group of relatives erupted in cheers. Despite her relief and happy thoughts, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret for agreeing to the terms...

"ROOT, huh?" She bit out, her musing drowned because of the cheers that erupted in the lively cave that was sealed up. She caressed her child in her womb lovingly. This won't bring her down. She will strive to continue the family her husband left behind. "It wouldn't be the first time I did something I regretted."

AN.

I hate how removes "-" when I go to docx edit. Like, bb I use that for line breaks in my phone, dammit!

Welp guys, we are back on track now! Back to our usual weekend programming.

Regarding about that Tenseigan comment: I was honestly disappointed that Kishi decided to fuck it up. Like, the Byakugan can see through anything with enough training, the ability to expel chakra from all parts of your body (Byakugan or Hyūga thing?) and near 360 degree vision and the supposed upgrade is glittery moon lasers. It's badass sure but...lasers? I was expecting better from the creator of Lava Release=Rubber Release and other creative shit. It just goes to show how dense Naruto is that Kishi had to make an entire damn movie about Hinata making Naruto a scarf so they can bang and create Boruto. :/

Sarada, Himawari and Inojin is life, by the way. Enjoy life! :)