AN: So this is a bit of bonding between Sookie and Pam. We learn a bit more about what Nevil actually did to Sookie the last time he punished her. Nothing too gory, but it is a bit specific. We also learn about Pam's history (which I improvised based on my knowledge of some of her past in TB). There will be LEMONS in the next chapter, hoping for tomorrow.
Thanks for reading!

LAST TIME…

I met his eyes and whisper "I can't let you see me like that", I hear him grumble a bit, and gear up to argue with me, but I placed a soft hand over his lips before kissing him softly. "Please. Understand". I pleaded with my watery eyes, and saw him soften slightly.

Then I heard words leave my mouth I never thought I would ever say..

"Can you call Pam?"

SPOV

Eric remained kneeling between my legs, regarding me with an almost hurt expression. After a few moments of silent staring, he nods, and starts to rise. My hand shot out of its own accord, grabbing his wrist. He looks down at me, larger than usual with his impressive height. I whisper an apology, I feel like I have let him down. I am this broken form of a woman, and he would only want supermodels. I'm a nuisance in his life right now and I hate it.

He continues to stare at me, as tears silently continue to fall down my face. Eventually, he disentangles from my soft grasp, and closes the bathroom door with a soft click behind him.

Left on my own for the first time in I can't remember how long, I swing my legs into the large tub behind me. It is of course large enough to fit a certain 6'3 Viking, and is surrounded my lavish tile. There is a closed glass shower in the corner immediately next to it, which I think may be better in order to truly wash my hair but I find I don't have the energy. I move to sit down in the middle of the tub, wincing as I feel more of my lower wounds open with the movement. I slightly bend my knees, and lean my head against the back of the tub, trying to think of how to get back to myself.

I must have dozed off, because next I heard a knock at the bathroom door. I took a deep breath and murmured "come in", knowing it was going to be a certain sassy protégé on the other side.

She opened the door slowly, entered, and closed it behind her, leaning against it for a moment before she addressed me.

"Well if it isn't my favourite sugar plum" she said, her voice lacking the certain edge and sarcasm it usually drips with. I wanted to laugh, but I felt it would just make my cry again. I simply put my head in my hands and murmured a slightly coherent greeting. Pam continued as if she hadn't disturbed me.

"Must say, this wasn't the greeting I was expectin'. Not that I was expectin' much" she cocked a leg out, and put her hand on her hip. I still didn't react, not knowing where to start or how to get this process going. She must have scented the tears that had started again, and I heard the door open and close again before she reached the edge of the tub and sat down. I heard the clink of glass and realized she had run out at vamp speed and grabbed a vodka bottle and sat it down on the lip of the tub.

"Wh-what's that for?" I ask, peeking my head out from my hands. Pam unscrews the lid, and poors a hefty amount into a tumbler with ice in her waiting hand. She uncharacteristically sighs, hands me the drink, which I accepted awkwardly (trying not to move my lower body).

"I'm going to ask you what happened" she says bluntly. My hands start trembling again, becoming clamy quickly. She continues on, seemingly not noticing my reaction "I imagine you have asked to see me instead of your mate because you are afraid of how he will see you, should he see your injuries."

I whipped my head up at the term mate. I felt like a fish gawking on dry land, but eventually nod slightly and Pam continues.

"I can understand that notion, hard as that may be for you to believe." She crosses her legs, and folds her hands in her lap, playing with her nails as she continues speaking. "However, this assumption of Eric is incorrect. He has seen me, and I him, in extremely vulnerable states, and that has only strengthened our bond." She takes another deep sigh and begins.

"Before I was turned, I was a very rebellious lady of my time. I did not enjoy the gender roles that were expected of me, and much to the displeasure of my parents, greatly enjoyed promiscuity." She smirks at the memory.

"When I was your age, I spent much of my time breaking engagements and men's hearts." At this remark she does let out a fangy grin, turning her face over her shoulder in my direction. "One night, I had snuck out of my parent's home to meet a gentleman who I was in relations with. He wanted me to give him my virtue, and though we had flirted with the line of everything but, I did not want to cross that line. It would mean the difference of my inheritance, should my parents find out." She turns back to facing the door, away from me "That night, he apparently did not want to hear no. We had been fooling around outside in a nearby park, when I made to leave him and return home. I had kissed him goodbye, but when I turned to leave, he attacked me." She pauses again, takes a moment, and continues in a more neautral tone "He beat me, raped me, and then left me in the street to die."

She drops her gaze to the floor for only a moment before she seems to compose herself. "That was how Eric found me". With this statement she turns to face me again, as I take a large swallow of the now frosty alcohol in my glass.

"That's terrible" I whisper. She simply nods.

"I woke up vampire, next to Eric, with a mind full of vengeance and a heart full of shame. For Eric to find me in such a state, and see strength in me, was a very hard thing for me to understand. But that is what he saw. He told me the night I rose that he selected me to be his child not because he pitied my death, but because he knew the strength was what caused it. For a woman to say no to a man and deny him that power was unheard of. More so, I would never conform. I did not apologize and I did not give in." She turns more fully towards me, her legs now stretched out along the lip of tile on top the tub. "Even in my death, I fought that little snake with everything I had, and Eric could see that… I did not rise full of shame because I regretted what I had been doing or how I had been living. I was full of shame because I was attracted to him, and for him to see such intimate parts of me so …. vandalized… was hard to recover from. It was my womanhood."

I take another large swallow, she was most certainly hitting the nail on the head for me.

"But Eric is not the typical vampire, and he was not the typical man. He heard my tale, and related it to his own, and instead of pitying me, he trained me. He even assisted me in my revenge, and is a large reason why I have the strength I do today."

Pam sat staring at me, as I let her story sink in. She had been victimized like me, and had found strength from it. All with the help of Eric. That stunned me. He is such a perfect specimen, like he was crafted by the Gods, I struggled with the idea of being enough for him before I was kidnapped (twice) and tortured. Now I just felt like damaged goods. But I knew I would never not feel damaged if I did not start to heal.

I knew it was my turn to share, so I took another large gulp of liquid courage, and dove head first.

"I kissed Eric the night I was kidnapped, and gave him my blood. Did you know that?" I ask, I know not the right way to start, but it had merit. Pam nods.

"I watched him suffer the pain you experienced and was convinced it was witchcraft. For you to have such a connection after one exchange, not even a mutual exchange, is unheard of". It was my turn to nod as I continued.

"I had come to him seeking protection, but I had come to him in a position of power. As an equal force to be reckoned with, and I was demeaned so profusely after that, I can barely remember that person. I left with my head held high, excited that I may actually have my chance with this warrior that seemed to be so interested with me." I let out a strangled chuckle. "When I got home, Bill was waiting for me."

Pam growls at that.

"I had broken up with him. I had rescinded his invitation, and when I got home he seemed to realize that I had also kissed Eric. He attacked me." Pam's fangs elongate as she hisses. "When I woke up I was in a cellar, where Steve Newlin tortured me. He was in partnership with other vampires who wanted to bottle my blood to sell to the highest bidder."

Pam drops her legs and sits up straight as she leans towards me and asks "Steve Newlin? You're sure it was him? Not any other?"

I let out another sardonic chuckle and nod "He was pretty proud of himself, you know how he likes to talk all high and mighty, he was going on and on about himself as he tortured me. Pulled my fingers out of their sockets, and sliced me up to drain my blood for profit" Pam seemed to digest this, and waved her hands for me to continue.

"When he had tortured me enough that I was almost dead, he left and I fell into this dream.. I think. I met my great-grandfather in it, who popped to me, killed Steve and took me to Faery." I paused, taking another swallow. I thought the first part of my kidnapping had been bad, but the false sense of security I had gathered in Faery had made the second bought of torture more personal.

"Niall" Pam supplies. "We heard about a year after your disappearance, that you were working with him as a Consultant." She raises an eyebrow. "He said it was of your own freewill"

I nod again, "It was…. At the beginning." I set my now empty glass on the side of the tub, next to Pam, and she quickly refilled it. At my own raised eyebrow she said "You will thank me when you continue". I had to smirk at that, because in that moment Pam and I seemed like sisters or even friends. When you are sitting around at a slumber party, and about to tell your most humiliating first kiss story.

This was such a darker story though.

"I had learned more of my powers, and Niall had been pleased. He started asking me to sit in on consultant meetings, to read the intent and thoughts of his business associates. He wanted to meet with many princes and businessmen of Fae and various Demons because he wanted to assess any threats to war, and the longevity of his kingdom. It was great practice for me, and for the first month I enjoyed it. But when these meetings started to become dinner meetings, I quickly realized they were steering towards arranged marriage proposals"

I grabbed the now full glass again then. Pam just smirked, and shot me another raised "I told you so" eyebrow. I grumbled, not quite ready to laugh about the situation yet.

"After these meetings, he would send the suitor to my room. He was expected to lay with me in the hopes of impregnating me to continue the Brigant line. Niall wanted to have me pregnant first to ensure I was even able to carry a Fae child before he gave me any more status within his kingdom." I started to feel the fire in my veins at this point, and I thought I may end up looking like those cartoon characters when steam comes out their ears. But remembering the outcome of those suitor meetings made me smile devilishly.

"I killed 3 of them before I started receiving punishment" I said and Pam snickers with me.
"Perhaps you have more fire than I gave you credit for" she says, crossing her legs again and leaning towards me in interest. "C'mon Sugar Plum, time for the real stuff." She finished softly.

"When I started to become too vocal with my refusals, Niall punished me to stay silent. He then started to punish me in the hopes that I would understand that his will was happening regardless of my wishes. He –"Another large swallow. "He sent his henchmen Nevil to punish me. He wanted to break me. After a while that statistic FUCK actually thought I was rejecting the others because I wanted him."

The tears had begun again, and I was shaking terribly. I set my glass down so I didn't drop it. "He specifically liked to cut and burn, and wanted to make sure I was of no use to any man ever again" I took a deep breath before I told her the real reason I wanted to tell this to her and not Eric.

"My last punishment, he attacked me with his thoughts while he attacked my body. He took a scalpel to my – my … me, and branded it with his initials. He made sure no one would ever want me again." At that point I lost it, I began hyperventilating as I sobbed. Gasping for air as snot started to drip down my face. I threw my head in my hands and continued my misery.

I cried for the girl I felt I had lost. I cried for the love I thought I will never have a chance at. I cried because I was crying, In front of PAM no less, who I was pretty sure never really liked me to begin with.

Just as that last thought crept into my misery-filled mind, Pam surprised me again. She crept into the tub behind me, careful not to shuffle me, and wrapped her arms around my chest. Tucking my head back against her shoulder she hugged me with a fierce grip, but not to the point of pain. One hand holding me against my forehead, and one locked securely around my waist.

"Sookie" she whispered, rocking me slightly side to side, as she wiped my hair from my face. She reached over and grabbed a washcloth from the supplies I hadn't noticed beside the tub and began to wipe my face softly. "That is not true." She whispers. "That will never be true."

"Your body is only a piece of you. He could never take what is truly you." I continued to sob, and she continued to hold me. After a few moments my sobbing slowed and Pam spoke again.

"That monster tried to take your strength, and you survived. You escaped. You will never be the same girl you were before, but you will become stronger because of this." She pauses. "But Sookie, you need to heal."

I take a sharp gasp, hiding my face in my hands once again. "I know." I whisper. "I just don't know how."

I should have known that the real Pam was still in there somewhere, as she responded with "I would be happy to assist you with that" and I had to let out the chuckle then. It sounded so much like Eric I couldn't take her seriously, regardless of the fact I knew she was entirely serious.

"Seriously Pam. What should I do? I don't know if I can let anyone see that … not even Ludwig….I'm ashamed." I closed my eyes as I said it. She had once been in my state, but her transition to vampire had obviously saved her the uncomfortable healing process I was currently enduring.

"You have some options" Pam replies, back to her serious somber tone. I looked over my shoulder to meet her eyes, and she sighs "You may not like any of them, but hear me out" I nod.

"You may let Ludwig look at you, and she will give you medication and likely something topical for it. Perhaps some over the counter PTSD prescription as well. It would help calm you." She glances at me as I shake my head with a solid "no".

"You may suffer through the human healing process, and hope that your body will be able to heal sufficiently with the topical human aids, such as antibacterial ointments, and bandages." I scrunched my face at the thought of even trying that, and vetoed it just as quickly.

"Your only other option would be applying vampire blood and saliva to the skin directly." I closed my eyes. I knew that was coming… but at least I had heard all of my options.

"He won't want me Pam" I stutter out, and her arms tighten fractionally.

"He has always wanted you Sookie" she whispers in my hair, before filling my glass again and handing it to me, before she gently removes herself from the tub.

"Let him know when you are ready" she says, giving me a genuine smile, before she leaves the room completely.