The next morning Hajime woke up and noticed two things. Firstly, for the first time since he had cut the drinking, he felt even remotely like a human being. He didn't have the urge to throw up, a massive hangover aching all over, and he knew what day it was. It had been a painful struggle, but life was finally flowing back into his veins.
Secondly, and perhaps more pressingly, he found Tooru nestled behind him. His warm breathing puffed against Hajime's neck and tickled the wisps of hair. There was a possessive arm wrapped around Hajime's middle, and another pair of legs tangled with his.
The memories of the previous night flashed through his sleep-hazed mind, and he silently cringed in embarrassment. Once he had given in an inch, suddenly all of it had needed to gush out. He had completely broken down while still sitting in the empty tub and cowering under the towel. All he could've done was to catch a breath between shaky sobs and let the bottled-up emotions wash over him again and again like waves crashing on the shore. Tooru had kneeled on the hard tile floor and silently embraced him. For once he hadn't asked anything.
Careful not to wake Tooru up Hajime untangled himself and reached for the crutches on the floor. Sleeping nestled next to a human furnace the whole night in a room with no working AC had made him sweaty and sticky. He limped to crack open the front door, and the cool early morning breeze caressed his overheated skin.
Sun's first pale rays made him see red through his eyelids, and he could already feel the promise of hot midday swelter. Slowly he stretched his body, and everything snapped, crackled, and popped back into its right place. He left the door open to get some fresh air into the room and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Automatically, his gaze wandered to study Tooru's sleeping face.
His hair was a mess, there were flakes of dried drool on his chin, and Hajime bet there were deep sleep wrinkles where the pillow mushed his cheek. Still, he couldn't help but find some odd cuteness in him. Even so early in the morning. Or maybe it was precisely because it was so early.
Before he could think he reached to stroke Tooru's hair. The smooth and thick locks slid between his fingers. He brushed the smooth cheek, and Tooru stirred and his nose scrunched up. Hajime snatched his hand back like the touch had burned.
"'s wron'?" Tooru mumbled and rubbed his cheek.
"Nothing, go back to sleep. It's still early."
The brown eyes cracked open and blinked at him in the morning light. "Were you watching me sleep?"
Hajime's ears burned. "Of course, I wasn't," he muttered and pretended to be interested in the curtains.
His thumbing heard almost jumped out his chest when Tooru reached to grab his hand and guided it to cup to his face again. Embarrassed he tried to tug himself free, but Tooru held on and pressed the flat of Hajime's palm tighter against his cheek.
"It's okay," he said with a soft morning smile. "I'm good with this if you are."
"Yeah," Hajime croaked. The burning of his ears intensified, and he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm good, too."
~~oOo~~
"So, how do you use this thing?"
Hajime had just stepped out of the bathroom and was ready to turn in when he saw Tooru sprawled on the bed and examining Hajime's prosthesis. Hurriedly he limped over to snatch it back, but Tooru saw him coming a million miles away and easily dodged him.
"Give it back, and don't touch my stuff!"
"What's this thing? It looks scary," Tooru poked the black pin of the liner and his eyes widened, "Does this go into your leg?!"
"Of course not, stupid. Now give it here."
"This feels funny, kinda sticky." He felt the silicone inner surface of the liner. "Oh, I see! It works like a suction cup? But how you get the leg to – " His forehead wrinkled in confusion.
"Hey, give it back!" Hajime tried to lunge (for what it was worth) for the prosthesis, but again Tooru escaped his hands. He jumped off the bed and put a safe distance between them.
"I'll give it back if ya show me how it works."
"It's not yours, so put it back where you took it. I'm not kiddin'."
"Oh, please, you should know by now I'll just keep buggin' ya until you show me, so you might as well do it now."
Hajime gritted his teeth and balled his fists. "Fine," he spat, "give it to me, then."
Tooru grinned. "Nice try. Just tell me what part you need first. The faster you do, the sooner we can go to bed."
With a deep suffering sigh, Hajime sat down and lifted his stump on the edge of the bed. "Give me the thing with the pin."
He turned the silicone tube inside out and pressed the flat cup against the stump. Making sure there were no air bubbles inside he rolled it over his leg. It came up to the mid-thigh. The pin was pointing out at the bottom of the stump.
Tooru giggled. "It looks like a mini peg leg pirates always have. A tiny pirate."
"Shut up or I'll poke you with it. It might be small, but it hurts like a bitch. Now the socks."
Tooru handed him the white tubes of socks, and Hajime smoothed them over the liner.
"Do they make it fit better? Like when you have to put extra socks in your skates?"
"That's the idea. The leg usually starts shrinking at some point, and it can take a long time to find a socket that fits. The last piece is the leg."
Hajime bent his knee up to his chest and slid the stump into the socket of the prosthesis. Awkwardly he stuffed and pushed it deeper like he was trying to pull on a shoe with its laces still tied. When the stump was in he stood up and started to shuffle in place and put weight on the prosthesis, trying to cram it deeper.
Tooru couldn't take his eyes off the process and leaned closer. "But how does it stick?"
"I just gotta – " Hajime kept shuffling, and the prosthesis started to click and clack every time he put weight on it. "There. The pin goes into the little hole in the leg and locks it."
"Wow, that's so cool. I've always wondered how they keep the leg attached." He got down on his knees in front of Hajime and knocked on the prosthesis. "How does it work if you need to sit down? Does it bend, too?"
Hajime took a seat on the bed and the silicone liner followed the movements of the knee naturally. "The socket only comes up to the knee, or under it, so it doesn't matter."
"The foot part looks weird."
"People usually wear a shoe on it."
"If I had one I'd totally wear mismatching shoes on purpose," Tooru said with a wicked grin. He bent down to inspect the ankle joint. "Imagine the engineering going into this."
Hajime shifted uncomfortably under the sudden microscope. "So, now you know. Happy? Can we drop this now?"
Tooru's interest showed no signs of being satisfied, quite the opposite. The more Hajime demonstrated, the more he wanted to know. His hand slid up and down the smooth surface of the prosthesis as he felt the material.
"It feels…," he said with a low voice, "I dunno, a bit alien. Foreign. Like, it tries to act like all the other body parts but not quite getting there. Like an idiom used wrong."
"What the hell are you babbling about?"
The hand inched up until it reached the border where Hajime's knee and the socket met. The nimble fingers pulled back the elastic sock to reveal the liner underneath.
"This is like a no-man's land. It's yours but not yours at the same time."
The fingers traveled ever upwards until they brushed the skin of the thigh. Hajime swallowed when he felt the light touches and balled the bed sheets in his fists.
"You have really smooth skin, soft but I can feel the strength underneath."
Hajime's eyes had locked on the thin fingers caressing his thigh, and he startled a little when Tooru suddenly looked up at him. His eyes were wide with excitement.
"Would you let me tattoo you down here?"
"Wha – I don't – "
"I've been working on this one piece for a while now and I think it'd be a perfect fit. I didn't know how it all worked but now I know it'd be perfect. It's really – wait, I'll show ya."
He sprung to his feet and pulled a thick sketchbook out of the pile of many. Hurriedly, as if he couldn't wait for another second, he flicked through the rustling pages until he found what he was looking for.
"Here, what do ya think? It's the one on the left, the bigger one." He shoved Hajime the violently folded notebook.
The page was full of pencil lines and figures but on the left Hajime could make out a sketch of a tiger creeping forwards. He looked at the sketch acutely aware that Tooru was closely monitoring his face.
"Well? What do ya think? You don't like it? What don't you like, the style, the pose?"
"No, I – it's a beautiful picture, but…" Hajime's eyes wandered on the page covered in sketches of different poses of big cats. Ovals and circles connected with straight lines. Scales and measurements.
"If you want to change something, it's fine. It should be the way you want it, of course."
"There's nothing wrong with the picture, but to be honest I wasn't thinking of getting a tattoo. I've never thought of getting one. It's a pretty drawing but it doesn't really…mean anything to me."
Tooru's nervous posture slumped and the excitement in his voice flattened. "Oh. Yeah, of course, that makes sense. I got carried away all on my own, sorry."
Hajime frowned. "What's with that face? You've been pestering me for almost a week about everything but now you just give up even though you've worked hard for this? I said it doesn't mean anything to me, so why don't you explain it to me then? Sell it to me."
"It's okay. Tats don't really work that way. You should only get it if you want it. After all, it's gonna be on your skin for the rest of your life."
As soon as the words passed Tooru's lips, something clicked in Hajime's mind.
"Why'd ya pick a tiger?"
"It's fine, let's just go to bed." Tooru reached for the notebook, but Hajime pulled away.
"But I'm curious now."
Tooru glanced at him as if to make sure Hajime was serious and then the fired-up look returned as he started to ramble with excited hand gestures. "Because they're strong but they're strong on their own. They don't have a pack or pride. Yet, they could kill other big predators with one strike. They have an immense life force. Like, did you know there are some cases a tiger has been shot but it remained standing even after it's dead? But even if they're big and strong, they're cunning and rely on stalking their prey. They can't chase down the animals for long distances so they gotta use their head."
"So…you like tigers?"
"I do, but…they also kinda remind me of you." Tooru glanced at Hajime again, and for the first time, he looked almost shy.
Hajime was taken aback and awkwardly stroked his neck. His ears were starting to warm up. "Oh. Uh, well, I guess there are worse animals to compare yourself to."
"You're big and strong and have gone through some pretty horrible things, yet you're still standing."
"Okay, okay, I got it." He looked at the sketch again and he could see some soul hidden behind the fierceness now. The big cat looked at him with wisdom and secrets. He glanced at Tooru fidgeting in front of him. "You said I could do some changes if I wanted?"
"Sure, it's for you, so…"
"I wanna add something. Get me a pen, and I'll show ya. I can't draw for shit but I'm sure you'll get what I'm going for."