AN.

So, for my reason of being late, just check my profile and scroll at the very bottom.

tl;dr: faulty computer

as to why I'm uploading now in (as of typing this AN.) 10:57 pm, I'm currently Google Docs-ing with a groupmate and it's her turn to type in the shit for our project due tomorrow.

Yay, being graduating batch is fun :)

WARNING: Um...terribly written angst PTSD, implied torture and rape? I edited this at Saturday so I can't be sure.

If his informant was correct, then Orochimaru should be in the prison where his test subject was being held captive. It was a long and irritating process that he never had the patience of doing but it was well worth the wait for a one-of-a-kind experiment. He took a glance at the underwater base nonchalantly, finding it way less impressive than Iwa's prisons. Well, Kiri was famous for its torture methods so the building didn't need to look grand, it just needed to hold its prisoners and it was doing a fine job up until now.

Now?

Now, the whole base was panicking because there were giant snakes in each corridor, killing everything within sight. He wasn't as dumb as to go to maximum security head first. He had a plan, which was to simply let do the snakes do the work as he killed off their pickings since it saved way less time while he tried to guess where his student might be. He needed a clear way to land and do his work to get his prized subject. Looking at his pocket-watch, he knew that he had to go down there soon; he just wished that his guess was correct. He knew it was correct but even he could be wrong.

Sometimes,

It was a pain convincing Hiruzen to let him go on this mission but he managed to do it. Asking him to go out into this "mission" was only to get on his good side since he knew that he would do the same even if the foolish old man didn't let him. Hyūga Tokina didn't have any military value, the information they collected was with the Yamanaka and despite her status being a field-medic, she could be easily replaceable even if she was part of a major clan.

He couldn't help but snicker at the thought of the old man stopping him from getting his student back. He was an advocate for the whole "student-teacher" relationship, he just couldn't get over the fact that the man that taught him to treasure the people around him would just say "Let her go, she is a lost cause."

…He didn't say it exactly like that but that is what it was in essence.

Bottom line, he was being hypocritical.

Orochimaru could let her go but she was the only one as of today to survive the baseline of his seal. He couldn't just let precious data like her go die that easily.

Swimming to the base with the help of that ninja tool the Kiri man he interrogated gave him oh-so graciously, he opened the door, letting himself in a hallway and spitting out the strange device and pocketing it away for future use. He admitted that it was rather impressive that Kiri had the money to build and continue the operations in this place, with glass that was able to withstand the water's pressure and the technology to drown out any existing water. The audacious village was suffering as it was, now he was going to destroy one of the most, if not, funded places the village built. It was a shame that he had to destroy it, it would have been a great hideout if he ever needed to flee the country. He let the strange tubes do its job and drown out the water before he opened the second door and there, he couldn't help but smile.

Snakes and dead bodies everywhere,

He couldn't believe how easy it was.

He continued walking and following the map that the other Kiri-nin he interrogated graciously bestowed upon him. He took a left when there were three other Kiri finishing off what looked like a giant viper. They turned around with their weapons, shocked for a second before glaring at them with venom that could rival the serpent they just recently killed.

"You!" One of them pointed at him dramatically "Konoha scum!"

He sighed, pocketing the map. He summoned a snake and got a single kunai as the three all rushed at him with their swords drawn. He dodged the first slash with a low crouch and sent the snake to the man's face, the serpent immediately biting the man's eye as he howled in pain. Orochimaru kicked the second man away as he stabbed the third man in the neck with the kunai he held. The second man looked at him in with fear in his eyes which he absolutely relished but time was of the essence. He quickly drew a kunai in speeds unimaginable and threw it in between the poor sod's neck.

He got the map from his pocket once more without sparing a single thought for the three he killed. They were the inept ones that got killed, not him. He began navigating through the metal labyrinth, walking over bodies and their parts as he went, occasionally throwing a snake, kunai or an explosive tag at the fools who dared challenged him. Didn't his title mean anything or was Kiri's education system that inept not to teach their ninja who and who not to fight?

When he reached the floor she was in, he rolled his eyes at Kiri for trapping an eight year old chunin this deep in the dungeon. He was sadistic but not to a fault. He knew where to draw the line if it was hindering his work. This, what Kiri was doing however, wasn't work. It was just plain sickening. He could appreciate it but in a distance. He looked inside every cell but all he could see was water.

That's when he realized that they were planning to drown their prisoners.

Orochimaru clicked his tongue in irritation. He should have known. Rushing now, he immediately broke every single cell with a swift kick, punch or an explosive tag. Water and bodies were gushing out, some dead, others alive and the rest in between. He didn't take his time but he was calm as he broke another cell filled with water. As per usual, the water gushed out and produced a malnourished girl that he saw in better days. The Snake-Sannin smiled, finally getting his prize. He carried the girl piggy-back style and went back on his merry way, killing everyone that stood in his way, this time enjoying it. Planting explosive seals on his way, he exited the base in a safe distance and summoned a giant snake they could ride in to escape the explosion. The snake swam speedily away from the water while the two rested inside its belly.

With a flare of Orochimaru's chakra, important papers he didn't bother with, prisoners and guards alike all exploded and drowned underwater.

I slowly opened my eyes to a beautiful field of the greenest grass I ever laid eyes upon and a multitude of red poppies I never got to smell when I was a kid since I was allergic to pollen back then. The rush of wind made my smile, which was almost always fake, become genuine as it moved my loose hair and morning gown back and fro, causing the loose petals of the poppies to blow away, making the color of the wind red that day.

It was a refreshing sight from the normally bleak and barrow Kiri prison that I was used to. I took the time to take in the smell of flowers because I can. I let the genuine happiness flow through me, relishing the few moments and breaks I had in my dreams from reality. Expecting flowers and grass to meet me, I sat down on a velvet chair I hadn't felt in a long time. Silly to say, my butt instantly recognized it as a piano stool.

Safe to say, my butt enjoyed it more than good anal sex.

But hey, what does my butt know about sex anyway?

Experimenting on the limits of my dreamscape, I stretched my arms forward. In a flurry of flowers and grass, a piano appeared out of nowhere now in the field of grass and poppies as if it belonged there in the first place. My heart leaping for joy and my grin going to ear to ear, my fingers felt the cool and painstakingly familiar ivory before pressing a key.

It was kind of sad how the feeling of pressing a key and it eliciting the correct sound made my spine tingle like never before.

My muscle memory immediately played Fantaisie-Impromptu in C minor, Op.66, the piece I played as a warm-up every time I stopped playing the piano for a long time because fuck Mozart and his mop hair lookin' ass. My mom taught this to me when I was sixteen and I've been just memorizing this piece ever since. As the fingers hit the keys of the piano, I couldn't help but feel a strange emotion overcoming me. I played the piano more fervently to try and distract these feelings, ignoring all the teachings of musicality and the importance of not playing fast because pressing keys rapidly doesn't equate to a skillful pianist despite the piece being one of the fastest pieces in existence.

"Hey, aren't you a prodigy? Shouldn't you be in some kind of orchestra or whatever pianists do? What are you doing in some washed up bar, singing for tips?"

"I actually wanted to be a conductor, not a pianist but…"

I pressed the C key harder than I should have.

"Oh! What do people even do with a music degree anyway?"

"I-"

I pursed my lips in distaste when I was about to answer it out loud because of reflex. I focused on playing the piece, as if pressing the keys harder and harder would make the volume of the piano go higher. This is one of the cons of pursuing your dreams as a musician, artist or any "hobby" that you turn into a "job".

Everyone doubts and everyone judges and the problem is you could never tell whether they were right about you or wrong when you're at rock bottom.

I was so sick of hearing this conversation over and over in my head, even if I thought the hole I dug was deep enough to drown out the voices.

It turns out, I had to bury the hole with me so I couldn't here them.

"I could become a professor in music if I wanted to but I need to get a teaching license or maybe-"

"What? What would kids even gain from playing a few strings and blowing a few horns anyway? You should get a real job! Don't you think your parents would want that?"

I repressed a growl that I always substituted with a smile, just like now.

"A hobby wouldn't be too bad for children! Research shows that-"

The C key should be broken by now as I continued to butcher Chopin's masterpiece.

"A hobby can't pay the bills-"

"I KNOW!" I slammed the piano; the instrument making noise as my fists unrightfully damaged the monochrome colored instrument. I covered my face and didn't even shed a single tear for myself since I always thought, and maybe even now, that I really don't deserve to cry for my stupid mistakes. I sighed in the palms of my smooth hands, lifted my face and continued on with the energetic yet melancholic piece. Sweet music flooded my ears as I purposely ignored a cry for help from a very familiar voice as I began playing the softer bits of the piece.

"Make it stop…"

A butterfly landed on the key I was supposed to press next.

I didn't halt for a second.

When I awoke, I knew that I was well away from Kiri T&I since there were trees everywhere from the brief time I opened my eyes before I closed them shut because it was too damn bright. My head hurt and my body ached yet I was used to that. What I wasn't used to was the cold yet fresh air I was breathing and how every inhale I do didn't make me want to puke out thanks to the amount of blood you could smell from miles away. I debated whether this was a second dream or not for a long time.

Experimentally, I bit my tongue.

…that hurt.

Okay, so I wasn't dreaming. I should have known that. None of my dreams involved me being bedridden thanks to the pain in my body; it usually involved my family, flowers, pianos and sometimes even bunnies on the moon. I groaned out my discomfort experimentally to see if I was with anyone else. A kidnapper or not, it was good to know if I had company since I wouldn't even dare using my Byakugan with this headache.

"Ah, so my cute little student has finally graced us with her presence." A sinister voice that I associated with evil and treachery piped from what I guessed was beside me.

I kept my eyes shut as I tried to think this through, even with the headache I have.

…It wasn't much of a decision, honestly. I'd take this snake over Kiri's own insanity. At least Orochimaru has the decency to put up with anesthetics and does it cleanly before fucking me up with drugs unlike all the blood and gore Kiri thinks is an aesthetic. Seal me up, give me Wood Release, I don't care. Just don't drown me. Get me away from water.

I'm done with that shit.

I felt a hand on my forehead as I buried my head on the incredibly comfy pillow and fluffy bed. Kiri didn't give me that luxury, sadly. Just cold, metal slabs for beds. There was only the best for their prisoners after all. I was kind of shocked, honestly. I thought they would get my Byakugan the first time they got their horrendous and dirty mitts on me or turn me into a breeding pig. Nope, they just went and did everything else in Torturing an Under-aged Girl: A How To."

Good fucking times, that one.

Ah and there it is my infamous coping mechanism that fooled everyone from my past life. Joking about my problems and trauma like it wasn't such a big deal even though it was.

"Chakra exhaustion, fever, fatigue, malnutrition and that doesn't even cover the psychological scars they gave you." Orochimaru jotted out smartly,

Yeah, no kidding,

"I'm sure you know by now that those scars decorated in your body may never heal. It's outstanding what Kiri can do with a few herbs and leaves but other than that and the things I stated before, your fine. "He praised my torturers who I still wanted to defile and eviscerate. I wonder what happened to the girlie that didn't want to slit throats. I wonder how she would see me now.

Eh, probably died at the fifth assassination mission.

…or maybe the twenty-fifth flogging session.

Who knows?

I don't.

I didn't respond since how do you even thank a mass murderer? Instead, I let myself relax because I knew that Orochimaru wouldn't be as petty as to kill me the moment he rescued me from Kiri for…some reason. Instead, I used my tired and aching arm that thinned considerably over the course of my stay in the dungeon to cover my eyes while muttering a soft and hoarse "Thank you…" I hope Konoha has medicine to mask scars. Thank God that they didn't touch my face. It's a shame, though. I couldn't show my face around public baths.

I don't want to go near baths or any large body of water.

No more.

I cracked open a tired eye, gazing at the smirking man sitting down next to me. He didn't even frown or flinch when I activated my Byakugan after a few moments of lying in bed in silence when the migraine subsided. We were in some kind of underground lab with labyrinth like halls and many rooms dedicating for researching animals and the like. There were massive test-tube like objects housing snakes, boars and everything in between. It didn't take me long to realize that I was in one of those snake dens Orochimaru used when he was teaching Sasuke shit or kidnapping babies.

At least I came in here as a guest.

Until I remembered who I was dealing with,

"I believe you owe me thanks."

I sighed and cracked open my eye slowly, adjusting to the light and deactivating my Byakugan the same time. I didn't sit up or do anything polite, just stare at him blankly thanks to my hoarse throat and the inability to properly react to the situation. I didn't know if there was something wrong with me. Look, I don't trust the guy but he hasn't killed me yet and besides, if he was really going to put some sort of low-budget Sage mode on me, wouldn't that be a slightly good thing anyway? All I had to do was sacrifice my appearance for a short time anyway. I gazed into his bright yellows blankly, considering my options.

It was fairly obvious that Orochimaru would use favors to the best of his abilities. He wasn't a fool. He wouldn't let me go for free unless he had something planned, like putting some deadly virus that would kill Konoha shinobi just by breathing. He wanted something from me and that was obvious, I knew that since day one when I was training with him. The problem was I didn't know what. This man is so hypocritical and complex that a Yamanaka would be seen running around the labyrinth if they tried going into his mindscape.

I realized quickly that it probably wasn't as worse as whatever Kiri put me up with.

With difficulty, I answered him with a shallow "What?"

He snickered, looking absolutely pleased with himself. He got up from his seat and walked away. I followed him using my Byakugan. He exited the room, went to his lab and began mixing a strange concoction. When he was done, he opened a locked case and put what looked like a white scale into it. The strange potion immediately took in a different color and began boiling. He mixed it a few times, got a vile, measured its contents and walked back to the room.

I kept my Byakugan on while I tried to break down what the fuck was in that bottle because, holy shit, that was a lot of concentrated chakra in it. He seemed to be mildly amused at this and chuckled. He sat down and made gently made me stand up, causing me to want to vomit thanks to the blood in my head finally rushing down to the rest of my body parts. Without a word, he handed me what looked like normal water (which I confirmed with my Byakugan).

"I want you to drink this," He told me as he held the strange looking vial. "But before that, you need to drink water if you don't want to experience the pain." He smiled while I took the glass in shaky hands which he took from the desk. I didn't even notice it next to me. There was a lot of phrases I was using today but it seemed like "I didn't know" was the most overused one because how the fuck can I react to Orochimaru giving me a glass of water for the sole purpose of my well-being? I knew he wasn't a complete sociopath just yet, I knew he has a heart since he was going to Itachi from training one day and be forever engrossed on capturing the Sharingan. I just didn't know how to react on him showing that same heart to me.

I thought he had the hots for Tsunade.

I took in a sharp breath when I gazed into the clear liquid in my hands. Immediately, memories came rushing back. Unwanted memories. Memories I wanted to lock up and never open. My body's response was to lock up and hitch my breathing even further thanks to fear and stay away from the liquid that was about to drop on me. Orochimaru quickly grabbed the glass of water with a frown.

I can't believe I'm scared of drinking water. All I could do was giggle at the sheer absurdity and cry at how pathetic and sad it was. It wasn't loud, it wasn't melodramatic, it was just crying and hitched giggling in the same time as the feeling of water everywhere flooded back into my body. I could feel it touching me. I could feel the shock of finding myself half-drowning in my cell when I should be asleep.

Tokuma, Akane, Rin, Obito…

Tokuma, Akane, Rin, Obito…

"Tokina,"

I felt a hand touch my raw shoulder.

Another fresh set of memories came back. Unwanted touches, feelings that should have brought me pleasure only brought me pain. It hurt, It burned, It brought me shame that I couldn't understand, I didn't do anything wrong. Why are they making me do this? Why are they doing this to me?

"Don't touch me," I hissed out, glaring at Orochimaru, uncaring if he could stab me in the neck or beat me to death with a stick. I felt the veins around my eyes bulge and rage overtaking my body. The unhealthy mix of rage and fear causes the human brain to do what they shouldn't be able to do in normal circumstances thanks to adrenaline and the nervous system's core response. It was fight or flight.

And in this world, flying meant your wings would be either clipped or be in a cage forever.

He graciously lifted his hand away from my shoulder. I deactivated my Byakugan. "Fine," Orochimaru shrugged, not offended. "I knew that I would be dealing with this. You need to drink water or the potion will hurt you more than you realize." He returned the blank look I gave him when I awoke. I relaxed my fingers that were gripping the sheets harder than they should have. I forced myself to calm down with a small genjutsu. I looked at him straight in the eye before slumping my shoulders again despite feeling tense. I shakily lifted the glass and forced the water down my throat. The initial fear was overtaken by my body's want for the liquid and I chugged the liquid down.

Orochimaru handed me the vial next when I demanded for more water (for the first time in what felt like forever!). I gave him a stink eye. He smiled and motioned me to go on. I smelled the foul thing. It smelled like if a vegan and a scavenger had a baby, the baby eating a worse diet and popping its diet in blue cheese with horse shit mixed with cat litter.

In simpler terms, I wanted to puke but thanks to my empty stomach, it was just a really bad gag reflex.

I inhaled and chugged the tasteless liquid down. The texture felt like a smoothie but the taste said it was expired medicine.

One sharp pain in my head and I was gone.

I stepped on familiar plains again. I eyed the crying girl in the plains. She had dark brown hair flowing against the wind. She wore the same dress as me but on her, it looked way better despite us being completely alike. She looked like she was about to crumble the moment I touched her with the amount of cracks and crevices on her body. She faced me with something akin to fear and hate with the same light shaded eyes I had. She didn't have a voice but I knew by the way her lips moved and how her face morphed into pure, unadulterated anger and irritation.

I knew what caused this but if I was being honest, I could care less of her well-being.With a flurry of poppies and wind, she was gone.

It's not like she's living her life anymore.

There was months of testing and revising the seal so it wouldn't we as dangerous if I activated it. I got a closer look into Orochimaru's secret lab when I could manage to walk after a few days thanks to the drugs that he made to revitalize the muscles and increase its mass. It was useful as it was dangerous since you need to have one of his curse seals to work. He told me it was one of the few experiments he made to try and reach immortality but stopped researching and producing it since it was too much of a hassle until now.

Mr. I is Genius had to fix the whole "cell degradation" con he accidently put up which made me drink a lot of those vile liquids and promised me a whole world of pain.

I didn't complain. All I had to do was to compare it to Kiri and everything they did and the pain seemed like getting an irritating itch between your fingers.

…Which I masked with genjutsu, but that's besides the point.

Speaking of liquids, in those few months, I got completely over drinking water. Sure, memories came back once or twice but thanks to genjutsu, I quickly calmed those roaring emotions. There was a drawback for relying on that to calm me, since I knew where all those stored memories and emotions go.

I just hope that butterfly bitch was choking on them.

I couldn't tell if he broke the contract with me or not. I had the Butterfly Seal, which should be harboring a part of his soul, but I found out that I could only summon snakes. I knew how to do genjutsu and I didn't really need Akinosuke but those butterflies helped with multitasking and stored unneeded memories and helped manage the genjutsu. They were training wheels, if anything.

I need to address the situation with him since I am in a position where I need all the help I can get.

The seal which he named "Animal Seal" first looked like some weird circuit board which I complained about then it looked like the summoning tattoo he had on his arm but for some reason he seemed bitter about it and now it looked like two tilted black diamonds on my back that touched at the end, like wings were ripped out from there. They felt completely at home with my back since most of my other scars were there, the only difference was that it was blacker than my other scars. I hadn't activated it outside of tests but I knew that public testing would be opening up sooner or later.

I didn't mind being holed up in this lab for the reminder of the months. It had a bed, good food and didn't drain my chakra. Despite Orochimaru being a shady character, I knew that he wouldn't kill me unless I do something that would royally fuck up every plan he had in store which I had no intention of doing.

Since we both needed each other in a sense.

He needed a guinea pig and I needed to get stronger to protect my lifelines. I wanted to tell them that "Hey! I'm alive! Please don't forget about me just yet!" I wanted to hold my baby brother and hug my mom and talk to my friends but whenever I fantasize about those things, bad memories come back. CPR, fights, torture…

It pained and irritated me at the same time.

But I couldn't do anything about it and nor can Orochimaru because he isn't a fucking psychologist despite how great he paints himself to be.

So I just have to bite my cheek and chug on the anti-depressants he bought for me and hope for the best as I continue being Orochimaru's lab rat. He was treating me better than Kiri, that's for sure, and I wasn't in any sort of rush in Konoha. I wanted to see my loved ones, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't want them to worry about my well-being since I did not look healthy. No matter how much drugs I took in, the fact is that I was malnourished, my reflexes were slow and I was overall having a bad time with everything. These months are basically my physical-therapy session with a deranged doctor and I wasn't complaining.

There wasn't anything to complain about that didn't involve my psychological and mental state, anyway.

I walked to the bath area in Orochimaru's lab since he must be observing proper hygiene in this diseased ridden area that was known as his lab. Unlike the rest of the lab, it was a quaint place with hot water and steam and looked like a normal bathhouse you would see in any town. I got a bucket and towel and locked the door. I inhaled the steam sharply, memories coming back and genjutsu pushing them even deeper in the recesses of my mind. I walked to the bathtub in the floor and crouched down slowly. I took a deep breath, and with shaking hands, I got the towel and soaked it in the hot water.

I heard my gasps echo around the room as I sat there, holding a towel, inches away from my arm.

"Okay, Tokina…you can do this…" I whispered to myself, slightly irritated at the fact that I couldn't even bathe myself because of this stupid PTSD. Every single time I hear water, touch water or even the mention of it brought me pain. It resulted in sleepless nights and strange instances of me wanting to bang my head against the wall or floor just because of the headaches it caused me. Sleeping without pills wasn't an option because I wouldn't dare closing my eyes if there was any slight chance water would just drip from the roof.

Relying on my comfort chant and Happy-Time genjutsu usually worked. "Tokuma, Akane, Rin, Obito…" I chanted as I forced the genjutsu on myself harder when those memories came back when the wet towel was pressed against my skin.

"Tokuma, Akane, Rin, Obito…" I continued to chant while I shakily cleaned myself of today's work.

I couldn't tell if it was the water or the tears that were dripping down my body.

AN.

I'm so sorry for the editing here. This was a bitch to edit. Basically any chapter with Orochimaru is a bitch to edit. Sorry if you were expecting "badass" Orochimaru fight but let's be real here, the anime and the manga only showed this bitch summoning snakes and swords. That's it, that's all we have to work with. That and the occasional Earth Release but okay.

Anyway, Enjoy sleep because holy shit, we need more hours of that. Enjoy life :)