"You sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Sure-sure?"

"For god's sake, yes. Just…let's just get to it."

Tooru let out a little burst of nervous giggles that he tried to repress with his hand, and Hajime glared at him from his side of the bed.

"What?"

"Nothing, just – way to set the mood."

"Whatever, shaddup."

Couple weeks ago, Hajime had mentioned his performance problems in the bedroom to his psychiatrist in hopes of getting the blue magic prescription without going into too much details about his lacking sex life but of course, no such luck. Instead, she had booked a shared appointment for them, and for 55 minutes Hajime had been squirming and sweating on the couch talking about erectile dysfunction. At the end of their first session, Dr. Santillan had given them a couple simple exercises, and Hajime was determined to make them work.

It was finally their big night that they had agreed to try her advices. They were lying in bed face-to-face with each other's naked bodies. A raging thunderstorm had cut off the power, and the only source of light was the candles Tooru had lit all around the room. The sea of flickering little flames cast soft shadows to dance on their skin. Heavy rain was pattering against the window and cocooned them into the of world of their own.

"Okay, okay." Tooru took a couple of deep breaths to get a hold of himself and shook his hands to ease the jitters. "Jesus, it feels like it's my first time. You wanna go first?"

"You go first."

"But this was your idea."

"It was Dr. Santillan's idea!"

"But she's your doctor."

"Jesus Christ, fine." Hajime rolled his eyes with an annoyed huff but then a silent concentration fell over him and he glanced at Tooru's naked body lying in front of him. "Okay, I – uh, I want to hold your hand."

Silently Tooru offered his hand, and Hajime grabbed it. The skin was dry and warm, and his palm a bit rough. The long fingers gave Hajime's hand a light squeeze, and the round eyes monitored his face.

"How does it feel?"

"Like you're holding my hand. You?"

"It's nice, I like your hand."

Hajime cleared his throat. "Uh, your turn."

"Okay, umm…I wanna touch your face."

"Fine."

Instinctively Tooru moved his right hand but forgot it was already occupied. He switched to his left hand, but the angle was all wrong and he ended up jerking both of his hands awkwardly.

"Can we – just, take my – " He took a hold of Hajime's left hand and reached to touch his face with his right one. It was sudden and clumsy, and Tooru's palm just rested there against Hajime's cheek stiffly. "Uh, how's that?"

"It's warm. You can move it if you want."

The fingers twitched nervously, and the thumb stroked the smoothness of his cheek. Hajime observed Tooru's face as he watched the movements of his own hand. The dim candlelight deepened the brown of his eyes to almost black and accentuated the suggestive arch of his lips. Thunder rumbled and cracked the air, and Tooru flinched a little.

"My turn," Hajime said quietly. "I wanna kiss you."

At first, it seemed like Tooru would oppose but then nodded and leaned in. Hajime closed his eyes, and their dry lips met midway and breaths shuddered between their face. It was rather a quick peck than a proper kiss, and Hajime felt like a little kid shyly giving his first kiss behind some school corner. They had kissed plenty before, but the nervous energy tingled his lips and made his heart lurch a little.

With a frown, he pulled back and found Tooru looking at him. The fingers gave his hand another squeeze.

"What do you feel?"

"My heart's beating faster. My chest is getting full."

"Was it scary?"

Hajime swallowed. "I wanna try again."

"It's my turn. I want you to feel my heartbeat."

Hajime glanced at Tooru confused when he pressed Hajime's hand tight against his chest. In silence, Hajime concentrated on his palm flat over Tooru's heart. At first, he couldn't feel anything but little by little the faint pulses from deep within reached his hand. They were barely there, and it was a strange contrast to the raging storm outside.

"Can you feel it?" Tooru said, and the vibration of his voice resonated tickled Hajime's palm. "My chest is kinda full, too. Whenever you're feeling like your heart's beating faster, mine's too. I'm right there with you."

"My turn, I wanna kiss again."

"My turn, don't close your eyes this time."

Tooru's face got fuzzy as he leaned closer until all Hajime could see was the bridge of his nose and tuffs of his hair. The kiss deepened fast. Soon they licked and nibbled each other's dry lips moist and puffy. The tingling spread all around Hajime's face, and his fingers curled against Tooru's chest.

Tooru pulled back. "Was that still scary?"

A bit out of breath, Hajime tasted his lips. "Not as much."

"Then keep your eyes open and look only at me. What are you feeling right now?"

"Like my breathing is heavier. And it's getting warmer…down there."

A soft smile squinted Tooru's eyes, and he gave a low chuckle. The hand stroked Hajime's cheek again, but this time the touch was lingering and instinctive.

"I told ya we'd get there. And I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes." He shuffled closer to snuggle deeper into Hajime's embrace. The half-mast of a hard-on Hajime would silently be proud of the next couple of days brushed burning against his naked thigh. "Just – whatever happens, don't close your eyes again. Always keep them open for me."